Story so far:
Peeta has taken in Prim and Katniss' mother (Caroline), and they are taking a go at being a family. Peeta has a crazy plan to protect the Everdeens by being so popular that it is politically impossible to touch him. He is writing letters to everyone, doing interviews with reporters, having important people over for supper, and doing his best to charm everyone.
Meanwhile, Marcus, an agent of District 13, has been hunting down Peeta and setting up observations and spies on him. Marcus would like Peeta killed, but he lost that argument with the generals and now must figure out a way to get Peeta to work for District 13 and the coming revolt.
Only one or two more things are going on, like Peeta is living with a dead girlfriend. They are trying to make their relationship work despite her invisibility and her lack of a pulse. Peeta knows he is somehow making her real, but on the other hand, he knows she is not just a creation of his mind—she is somewhere in between. She is just a shadow of what she was, but that is enough for Peeta to hold on to. Oh, one other thing: Peeta is not technically human anymore; he is just not sure what he is. Marcus knows what he is and that is the reason he wants him dead.
Hunting for Love
Whenever possible, I took Katniss to the woods that she so loved. There she trained me to be a hunter.
My foot fell slowly; I was desperately trying not to make a noise. On my cheek, I could feel the wind shift direction. I started to worry that the deer I had been tracking for half an hour might get downwind of me, so I started to move quickly, carefully watching the ground for twigs and dry leaves. I could still hear the deer chewing—so far so good. I could not see it, but it must have been near, very near. To my left was an opening in the bushes, and I knew the deer would have to go through the opening or completely reverse its path. I grabbed an arrow, readied my bow, and started to wait. First one minute, and then another; I wasn't sure how long I could keep the arrow drawn. Finally I heard it move, and then I saw its body. The deer ran right into the path of my arrow, so my arrow pierced its belly and then just disappeared as it entered its body. When the deer fell, I looked over to see Katniss' expression. The excitement and joy in her face was my true trophy. "Peeta, you did it! That was just brilliant!"
"Well, I had a great teacher."
I was proud of myself. I had done well, but the real payoff was the look on Katniss' transparent face. In the woods Katniss seemed more alive than anywhere else. She just loved the woods, and the idea that she couldn't hunt anymore just made her so sad, so she lived vicariously through me. I worked very hard to be the hunter she wanted me to be, and I listened very closely to everything she said.
Katniss told me how to dress the deer, and I almost got sick pulling all the guts out. She showed me how to lock the legs together using its own tendons, and that was when I noticed the weather had changed and the sky was dark with clouds.
"It looks like we are going to get wet. Well, at least I am going to get wet."
"Peeta, come with me down by the lake. We can wait out the storm in the old cement house."
Katniss had shown me the cement house down by the lake earlier. It was just one room really, but it would keep me dry. By the time we got there the rain had already begun. We started a fire in the ruin's fireplace. The wind was cold and damp, and the storm clouds made it darker, so we cuddled in the corner of the room. I cut off some pieces of the deer's flank and roasted it on a stick over the fire.
"How I miss the taste of food. I would give anything to taste that meat. You can't imagine how it is not to taste things, not even to feel hunger," Katniss said with a pained look.
I tried to say something. My mouth opened, but no words came.
"It's okay, Peeta. Before you came along I couldn't feel anything. For days I wandered around that hospital thinking I was in some kind of hell before I felt you wake up. I just knew you would be able to hear me. Without you I don't know how long my mind would have lasted."
I laid my hand on her hip and felt a shudder run through her body.
"Oh, Peeta, when I am invisible I can't feel anything. I just want to be normal. I want to feel, smell, and taste as I used to. I want my life back. Peeta, only you can make me like that," Katniss said with a plea in her eyes.
Looking at the prayer in her eyes, I knew I wanted to give her life. In the arena I was ready to die for her, and after all this time nothing had changed. My hand went to feel her cheek, and she turned her head to lay it firmly in my hand. I could feel the soft warmth of her cheek and her hot breath on my hand. My thumb reached to feel her lips, which parted and reached up for my touch. Deep down I knew my love was making her real. I saw in her eyes new strength and lust, and I knew I could deny her nothing.
Before my eyes she changed: from a shadow she became real. The skin, the eyes—everything was perfect, perfectly normal! I knew if we were in town, everyone would see her just as a normal girl. Katniss' eyes grew wide, and she sucked in a lungful of air.
"Peeta! Oh my God! The air smells of rain and smoke!" She stuck out her tongue and licked my thumb. "Peeta! I can taste you! You're salty!" We grabbed each other and just started laughing in wild hysteria. As we laughed, I could hear her sniffing my hair, my skin, anything, and her tongue tasted my ear. "Peeta! I'm cold! Really cold! It's wonderful! You did this, didn't you? Thank you, thank you. . . ." It was then that she looked down and realized she didn't have any clothes on. She paused, and for moment I thought she would run off; then she got a big smile again, and with a laugh she said, "Well, Peeta, you got everything perfect—you are truly a great artist!" Then she kissed me again. We just couldn't stop kissing—every kiss demanded two more.
The rain came down in great sheets. We both were amazed by every touch. Everything seemed new; it was like I never touched anything before. The warm, yielding softness of her skin—every motion of her body was beyond real. The world disappeared. All there was for her was me, and all there was for me was her. Finally, even I and she disappeared; we became one being in both mind and body. The joy of this new being burst into this world with a scream of elation. It was heaven. Then my eyes wouldn't focus, and it all went black.
"Peeta! Peeta! Please wake up!" Katniss was yelling in my ear. I tried to make sense of the blurred images I saw and figure out where I was.
"I'm okay. Where am I?"
"Peeta, you passed out. You were so pale I thought you had a heart attack!"
Looking at her, I could see how scared she was and how the moment had passed; she was a shadow again, in her hunting outfit.
"No, I'm okay, sweetie," I said as my memory came back and I realized what had happened. I had never felt so bad and so happy at the same time. I couldn't stop sweating and shaking; every ounce of warmth was gone from my body. I felt like I had just swum in an ice-filled lake. And on top of all of that, I couldn't stop smiling. After throwing up I thought I would declare it the best day of my life. The look on Katniss' face revealed more fear than she ever showed during the Games.
"Peeta, I almost killed you!"
"No, it's not that bad. Just give me few minutes to recover, okay?"
"No, Peeta, I almost killed you! We need to get a doctor!"
"No! I don't need a doctor. I told you I will be fine—just give me a few minutes."
I threw up again, and Katniss picked up some wood and put it on the fire. "See, I knew it. I could feel it when we made love—you are stronger."
After that day Katniss swore never to make love to me again, and I lied to her, saying she was overreacting. I knew it was just a matter of time until we did it again. I could feel her need, and of course I knew my own. I couldn't explain what happened, but I knew it made her stronger and me sick. For a while it was almost like she was of flesh and blood—it was a miracle.
Now she was a shadow again, but she was stronger. She could move things, like a very weak normal person. So I had her read and answer the fan letters we got. Late at night as I took my sedatives she would work at the desk I had moved next to my bed. Having real work to do and people to talk to, even just by letters, made her feel so much better.
As I started my drug-induced sleep I began to think about my dreams. My dreams were always the same. Every night since the Games in my dreams, I became the ghost. My ghostly form would wander through some hospital I had never seen. I kept looking all over the hospital, but I never found her—I never found Katniss.
But as I fell asleep that night, I set my mind to a new dream. I would dream of the day I'd walk hand-in-hand with Katniss into town. I would dream of the day Katniss could hug her sister and mother. I would dream of the day she could hunt again. And I could dream of the day we would sleep together as man and wife. That would be the day I mastered whatever the Capitol doctors did to me, the day I had enough power to make her real and keep her with me, the day I would have power, lots and lots of power. Soon I would have the power!
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