--...512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2atMvEwi5
the last couple of days before Jon left were just amazing, he is my brother through and through and i love him so much, him visiting have recharged my battery and i have started counting down the days until i’m done with this place,
Its currently the tuesday and i have tried to seek out Dev and speak to him, hopefully we can talk this out, we love each other we should be able to solve this out rationally, if we are grown enough to make a baby, we should be grown enough to talk about it. and talk about its future right? yea no, the first time i seeked him out was ok, his dad was not happy to see me but he allowed me inside and i was able to try and rationalize why i could not give the baby up. Initially he listened then told me to leave and let him think things over, i even gave him the number to the phone Jon gave and told him to text me . i didn't hear from him for the next couple of days so i went back to his house and this time his dad kicked me out, called me all sorts of names including a whore and refused to let me see Dev. what hurt the most was that when leaving i saw him in his window and realized that he was there the entire time his dad was being rude and mean, he saw the whole thing and didn't make a move to interfere. I was heartbroken but i refused to give up. I would give him his time and would try to reach out again when things cool down.
But things didn't cool down though , if anything things heated up, i heard around town that Dev had started to date. when the news first started out Hillary made sure that she sat me down and told me all the gory details, how pretty the girl was, how he had met her in college, her dad is an esteemed member of the community...blah blah blah...she had also made sure to tell me how she had told all her friends that i was pregnant and had tried to push it on Dev, then she had laughed and dared me to go outside.
I barely went out these days, John was so ashamed of me he made sure i was inside 90% of the week, i would go to the grocery store once in a while and i would get stares and snickers and people pointing and older people shaking their damn heads at me. I had never felt so alone in my life even with the baby. There were times when i had to keep reminding myself that a way out was coming soon and that i should hang on. I kept getting bigger and Hillary and John kept testing the limit of how much abuse they could get away with without hurting my baby too much. I hated it, I had started to lose weight and haven't been to the hospital since Jon left.
I was on the way to the store to get Hilary some tampons, the sun was hot and i was tired, each step made me feel like my feet was about to burn off, just thinking of the long walk just to get a box of tampons when she could have drove there to get it herself made me start crying without intent. I could not control my emotions these days and since getting angry was out of the question, all i did was just cry and be depressed. I was so sad and tired that i didn't realize that a car was following me and have been following me for a while until the owner honked right beside me, making me jump in fright and end up falling on my bum, I heard laughter and looked behind me, my heart broke even more when i realized that it was Dev in the car, probably a new one since i didn't recognize it. a closer look made me realize that he had his best friend and idiot Damon in the car with him, another friend that I’ve seen around and a very beautiful girl...maybe his new girlfriend? i saw them laughing hysterically while Dev just chuckled and looked everywhere but at me.
“hey whore, did you get fat or are you actually pregnant” i heard Damon ask. I looked up to Dev to say something but he kept on chuckling, which made the rest also chuckled. i was still on the floor, just shocked that Dev was the one doing this.
i saw Damon get out of the car and Dev whispered something..I started to get scared, I had never been close to the guy and i heard he is a go lucky dude but you never know, young adults can be mean, especially when they know they can bully you.
I watched as he got real close to me and got in my face.
“why did you think blaming my best friend for the pregnancy was a good thing?” he asked “was it because he was rich? don't you think if he was fucking you he would have told me? his best friend?, even if you did sleep with him, it probably meant nothing “ he said with a smile and then walked away. I looked up to see Dev already watching us with a frown, but quickly looked away when he saw me looking...I still sat on the grown, too shocked to move and quite honestly, it felt good to sit down, even if i had fallen, i continued watching Dev even as they drove away and i kept looking until the car was out of sight, ten and only then did i cry, heart wrenching gut hurting sobs, i’m not sure how long i sobbed for, i had realized that one or two people had walked or drove by as i sat there being pathetic and no one stopped to check on me. When i eventually stopped, I realized that i had probably been out for an hour now, Hillary was probably pissing herself angry and John was huffing and puffing, but i surprisingly felt better; like soul a little less heavy better. I got up dusted myself off and continued on walking to the supermarket.
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