Dabbling in Poetry - An Apology to Anonymous

An Apology to Anonymous

Sep 6, 2016

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A/N: This is the second part of the two part thing. Again, interpretation is up to you lovelies. Thanks for reading! As always, feedback is appreciated and welcome! 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjv7vc115AS

An Apology to Anonymous840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCxH9H2avS

I know, okay?

I know I messed up.

I'm the one to blame.

Always have been.

Always will be.

I just need to feel again.

When I had your approval

Or your scrutiny,

I could strive for something.

But you left me in the dust,

Telling me I wasn't good enough,

That I wasn't going to make a difference.

I'm stumbling blindly about,

And I don't even know if I'm on a path anymore,

Or if I'm walking back the way I came,

Or if I'm just lost.

When your eyes lit up,

Seeing something they liked in my work,

That moment was my oxygen,

Keeping me alive.

But your eyes never lit up brightly enough

To light my way out of the prison

You locked me in.

I couldn't see four feet ahead of me

And you laughed at me,

Trying to stay on my feet in the dark,

Trying to find some way into the world

Outside of these bars.

I relied on what you said

And did what you wanted,

And for one glorious moment

I was able to feel!

How do I continue living

When I've lost every reason to go on?

Maybe if I apologize,

That would help.

I doubt that any words will make anything better,

But I can try.

So, I'm sorry, okay?

I know you hate me,

And you're justified in doing so,

But I need your presence.

How am I supposed to write without you?

Come back,

Please,

I'm begging.

I know I write only for you and myself,

But I can change that,

I swear.

Please, just help me again.

I need to feel comfortable in my own mind again,

Despite what you say

And despite the fact that you tore down the walls

I worked so hard to build.

You made me feel comfortable with myself,

And without you I can't even pick up a pen

Without feeling a weight on my chest.

I can't do the thing I want most to do.

Did you abandon me

To find someone with more skill?

More talent?

You wanted more,

So did you finally find that?

If you did,

Are you happy now?

Or is it still not enough?

Just return to me.

I promise I will finally measure up to your expectations. 840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7xOMHr5lF

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