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So you know the moment when you see everything shifting and it gets really ugly, really fast? Yeah, that's exactly what happened after I got a big promotion. It was the so called "good life"; great job, beautiful family, nice car. All that. Except....it wasn't. Parking the car, I get out and walk through the car port toward the elevator at my "great" job.
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"Well Hello Mr. Cadell, it's good to see you finally made it to the top floor." This is Da, a tall arrogant prick who thinks he has to be right all the time. He's the manager of this company. "Good morning Dan" He gives me a look as if to say 'you've said that twice today' before walking away without another word. The elevator ride is slow but eventually we reach the top floor. It's just like I thought, the hallway is a mirror image of the other floors except there's only one door with no number. I open the door to reveal a small office with a desk and two chairs behind it. The walls are painted a soft yellow and the window blinds are drawn.
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Looks like I finally made it to the top floor. Shouldn't I be excited or something. Like, I don't know, happy now that I "made it".
A quick tap on the door and a beautiful woman with brown hair, and a short skirt, barges through my new office door.
"Um, sorry Mr. Cadell. I heard you just made it in and wanted to come and see...uh, in-introduce myself." She paused briefly, "HI! My name is Natalie. I will be your secretary over the new code 50 branch." She stuck out her hand as she stumbled over her words. With a gentle but firm grip I shook her hand maintaining eye contact. "Hello Natalie, you can call me Luke." She nodded and explained the small schedule given to her by Dan, my new first line supervisor.
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I signed a few papers then followed Natalie down the hall. She lead me through some doors and into an office decorated entirely in white. One wall is completely covered in windows, and the other with a large glass screen. A large conference desk sat in the middle and executive chairs rimmed the table. Many businessmen sat in the chairs with Dan at the head of the table.
"Mr. Cadwell, glad you can join us. Natalie here, will begin the presentation when she's ready." Natalie nervously nods as she unpacks her briefcase and prepared for her briefing. These guys seem so prestige in their executive suits and high class shoes.
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I thought to myself, sitting in an executive office, on a huge high rise in San Diego. I'm supposed to be so happy, but I'm not. It's like something is missing. It seems like all these important big shots are talking about me, while I sit here in the corner feeling like an idiot. I should try to act normal, but how can you do that when everything seems so fake?
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Natalie cleared her throat gaining everyone's attention. "Mr. Cadwell was just introduced, he will be working closely with our new team from accounting, to run the department." She continued introducing me, but I wasn't listening anymore. I was too busy staring at something outside the window. There's no way anyone could survive that fall. Natalie was going on about the details of my new position as the Software coding manager, and how our role is to improve an elite company. And shape the world with the new technological advances. I wish I had one of those announcer voices.
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"Without further ado, I give the floor to Mr. Cadwell." All the suits swivel in their chairs to face me. Suddenly, I'm sweating and my throat magically gets really dry. "Uh...Thank you for having me. I look forward to working with you."
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Great Job moron. Way to impress the elites with your great oratory skills. They give a blank stare at me as I sit back down. Then as if they practiced this a bunch, they swivel back to Natalie. She continues on the meeting while I drift in thought.
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Back in my office, I was unpacking my things and finished my last box when Natalie taps and barges in again. "Sure come right in." Natalie looks at me as she shuffles some papers in her hands. "Why do you even knock. It's like your lying to yourself about being polite."
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"So tomorrow you have an 8 o'clock appointment, followed by a new meet and greet with the code 50 branch...and then you have a lunch with Dan."
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"Wait, lunch with Dan?!" I said with a confused and appalled look. "Why?"
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Natalie was startled by my interruption. "B-because he wanted to congratulate you?" I sighed but accepted. I can tell Natalie was nervous. "Can I ask you a question?" She looked at me with a reluctant look and nodded. "Do you like coffee?" I asked her. "Coffee? Uh, yes sir I do."
"Cool, whatever's on the schedule, put that first on the list and meet me at your desk in 5 minutes." She clambers back out the door, holding her papers and looked confused at me while closing the door.
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Ok, so first of all, If this is my new job? I need a few changes. Putting on my coat, I head out the office and grab my car keys. Opening the door I look back at my office, a pile of papers and clutter. "See you soon mess." I said shutting the door. Natalie was busy typing on her computer when I walked up.
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"Hey Mr. Cadwell! I'm ready when you are." She says typing away. "You getting coffee in the break room, because I don't think there is any creamer."
"Don't worry about it Natalie. We won't need it." I said closing her laptop. She sat back and grabbed her purse. She went to gather some paper work, but I stopped her. "Just bring you." I told her as we headed to the door.
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Getting in my car, she settles in the seat and looks around rubbing the leather interior. "Yup it's a car, a real one."
"It's really nice, Mr. Cadwell."
"Please Natalie, just call me Luke."
"Ok, Mr...I mean Luke."
"Natalie, you really need to learn to loosen up." I said backing out the carport and exiting to the street. Driving down the main street, I pull into a nearby coffe shop, that wad next to a auto dealership.
After ordering our drinks, I pay with a credit card and wait patiently as Natalie sits awkwardly sipping her drink. Finally she sets the cup down. "Thank you so much Luke, I really needed a break."
"Sure thing, You really need to loosen up. Getting wound up like that, can cause anxiety issues."
"I'm sorry, it's just I want to really do a good job."
"Being tense all the time will cause you to forget things. You know stress is linked to all kinds of health issues."
Natalie sipped her coffee as she listened.
"Being the best isn't impressing everyone around you. It's you doing what you can, when you can. Sometimes there isn't a right answer."
Taking it in, she asked. "So what do I do? Can I just stay like this forever." She didn't look upset though, just sad.
"No Natalie, don't let yourself become trapped like this. There is always a right solution, but there may never be a right answer."
"That's what I do. When coding a program, it's not about right or wrong, it's about the path you choose to go. I want to get the finished product, but it's gotta function right. In others word, you gotta learn to sit back and analyze what is infront of you, so as to best handle it. Then when you start, it's no longer about, whether you have the right answer, because you know the solution. You just gotta get there from here."
Natalie sipped her coffee and smiled. "Thanks Luke, I really appreciate that."
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After heading back to the office, I finished up a couple more meetings and got my stuff ready to go home. Natalie gave me the schedule for tomorrow and thanked me again.
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After I got this new promotion, I bought a bigger house in the mountains to enjoy the view and give my girls a good place to live. As I drove through the gates, I couldn't help but wonder what life would be like, if I wasn't an adult. Would I still be sleeping in bed every night? What if my kids never saw me, until they were grown and then it's too late.
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Dinner was nice, I spent the evening with my wife and enjoyed the hustle and bustle of the kids. My wife and I had a nice night, cuddling as she fell asleep in my arms. I really love my family and don't want anything to happen to them. I figured, securing this promotion would help secure them for the future. Plus, I wouldn't have to spend hours in the office when all I have to do, is monitor people following protocols I built. Most of it was self explanatory. I had spent years coding programs for Brain Tech Inc. Creating thousands of programs and trouble shooting others codes. Considering my accomplishments, I really should be happy. But I'm not, why? This is a problem I can't solve by finding the right solution. I laid awake holding my wife, in a dream home. I have lots of money, nice car, beautiful kids but yet, I don't have it. What else should I be doing? I laid there for a while starring at the ceiling, until at last I drifted to sleep.
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A few weeks went by and it was the same ritual of work, home, fun with the family. Yet, there's this nagging loneliness, it's unsettling. Going in for two coffees, I stopped at the local coffee shop on my way to work. Placing my order, I sat down facing the crowd and observed people. Some were busy reading, others browsing on their laptops. Then there sat a man with a serious look, starring right at me. I made eye contact, but looked away when my name was called for my order. Turning around, the mysterious man was gone. Quickly, I made my way outside to see if I could see him. But there was no sign.
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Natalie was thankful for the coffee, it was a subtle reminder to relax. She seemed to really relax. I had made more changes around the office, loosening up some rules and put some better processes in place. I wanted to ensure our work was flawless, but also trying to keep a chill environment. Our office was getting good ratings in the company and a few employees made the employee of the month from my department.
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So everything was good.
As I finish my last client's paperwork and leave, I feel a vibration in my pocket. Pulling out my phone, I see a text message from my assistant.
[Hi Luke, Sorry but someone sent us some files you requested. We' re forwarding it to you now.]
"What?" I muttered under my breath, as I opened up the file. The folder contained a series of emails which detailed how my old team handled their recent projects. Looking over the email that came from this guy, I frowned deeply seeing the contents of the emails. He was basically saying that these projects weren't up to my standards, his words exactly. He didn't have enough trust in the project. That's just not going to fly for me. I looked at my watch, 7:30pm. Closing the email and sending it to myself, I took a deep breath and dialed his number.
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"This is Mr. Smith. What can I do for you, Luke." Mr. Smith answered.
"Hello Mr. Smith, is Chris still working at the company?"
"Yes, I believe so, why?"
"Well there's a little problem. Your reports show that there is no progress on those projects, and they are due for completion. You see, I'm having to take the blame for the lack of progress. I know that was your intention, but it will not be tolerated. These are very important projects to our company, but as far as the investors, shareholders and general company, we do our jobs to perfection."
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Mr. Smith spoke softly. "I understand Mr. Cadwell, but unfortunately there's not much that can be done. I'll try to find something, but I doubt it'll be possible."
"Fine, thank you Mr. Smith. Goodbye." Ending the call, I leaned forward grabbing my head in my hands. I worked hard to get to where I am today, how can I not deserve this.
Grabbing my phone, I scroll down to the email from Mr. Smith and see a different email come in.
I read the email again and again. Something didn't sit right. He mentioned a deadline but I thought for sure we had this cleared already.
I went to Natalie as she searched her files for this project.
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Back in my office, I was contemplating solutions when Natalie came in and said. "There is a man here to see you. He mentioned something about a hidden project."
"Sure tell him to come in."
Then a large man with a familiar face walked in. I didn't recognize him at first.
"I have a finished copy of the project you need, Mr. Cadwell." He handed me a large file with the words...Ares. Puzzled I flipped through it. It was a completed version of the project Smith was in charge of.
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"The name is Harold Avery. I have worked under Mr. Smith for sometime now. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Uh...sure, no problem."
"Everything is there to finalize the project. So please, call Mr. Smith when your finished."
I shook his hand and made eye contact with him, it was then that I remembered where I saw him.
The coffee shop, he was the disappearing man.
But before I could say anything he left. I followed quickly to catch him, but when I opened the door he was gone. I felt like I was being watched. I closed my eyes, trying to figure out where he could've gone from there. Thinking about it now, he did seem familiar. And there was that weird feeling I had that day, that I'd seen him somewhere else before.
I went to grab a pen and pad to write this down. As I wrote his name and office number down I realized I knew him.
He was the one who was in charge of my code that changed the course I had chosen to go.
"Are you okay Luke" asked Natalie.
"Yes I'm actually fine."
So he actually did it. I called Dan my boss to inform him, he was ecstatic. We decided to throw a party next week. The week before my trip with the girls to an adventure in the mountains of Colorado, courtesy of Mr. Dan.
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