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/Cait/
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After leaving Ash and saying my half assed goodbyes I half expected to have my life turn out worse. I didn't know what the hell I was doing and if Victoria didn't find me I probably would have ended up worse off. I just wanted to fix my life but I had no idea how to, I thought I could do it if I left everyone behind and grow on my own. But that really wasn't the answer, thankfully I was blessed with Victoria finding me. The day she found me I felt like a literal kitten taken home, I just had no idea she was so straight forward. She asked questions and the moment she spotted bullshit she called me on it. Eventually she pulled the truth of everything out of me. Normally I had to be drunk for me to be so honest but Victoria had a way to get the truth out of someone.
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Me and Victoria had a weird relationship starting out, she didn't ask just told me I was gonna work at her cafe. I was not usually one to back down but she made damn good reasonings as to why I was gonna work for her. For the following couple of days I worked by her side, and eventually found my self staring at her. Well the way she called it was undressing her which I guess I was doing that to. She told me nothing could happen between us at all till I figured out the first step to my life, which was fine at first till I grew more attracted to her. I couldn't understand what she meant and I felt like she was just playing with me or playing hard to get.
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One day I tried to drink but she caught me and told me I couldn't take the easy way out. If I couldn't find the answer on my own without intoxicating myself, then she wasn't interested in me. That's when I lost control of it and just started yelling which turned to crying quickly. Words rushed to the surface and just started flowing out, I normally got drunk when I felt like words not my own was coming up. But she wasn't letting me and I just started venting out loud for the first time without being intoxicated. I admitted openly that I loved Ash but was afraid and after awhile it got buried beneath other stuff. I admitted how guilty I felt for the way I treated those closest to me, never really telling them I needed help.
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That night of my venting let me clearly speak my mind and I finally realized what she wanted from me. That night she let me sleep in the bed with her and she held me, from all the partner's I was with she felt different. Usually Ash made me feel the safest but she managed to make me feel just as safe and warm in her arms. The next day she said I finally took the first step in solving my problem, that's when we started dating. After that every day she would ask if I was ready to make amends with everyone I left behind. But I just kept saying I needed more time to get my words in order. I was just procrastinating because I thought I would be hated and I was afraid to pick up the phone.
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She didn't make any weird rules or requirements for us to start dating once I took my first steps. Even though she knew I was a mess and I admitted to still Loving Ash we still dated. She took the lead on everything nearly in our relationship which was different for me. Since i was new to relationships it felt nice to be in one finally, no more one night stands and different people. Just Victoria who was opening my eyes to many things i took for granted. And on days when I would try to go back to my old ways of drinking, she reminded me softly what part of me I would lose.
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And today you stroll right back into my life Ash, I don't think we could have met if not for her. But I know I will still be that woman Victoria sees in and I will make proper amends. After closing up the cafe Victoria couldn't help but wanna talk about Ash showing up. I figured we may have gotten awkward or drifted apart with Ash back in my life. But that just shows I still have some growing up to do because she was happy I found my other half. And even more excited to be introduced to my family during our triple date, I hope whoever Ash is dating is like you Victoria. Because she's been damaged worse then me and she deserves that much from life.
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That night me and Victoria sat up talking about everyone that means everything to me. I know I was excited but I could tell Victoria was to. Because she was going to meet those most important to me just like she was. And that's why I fell for her she was so honest and straightforward. She would always smile at me when I was at my worse. She saw something I never did and I wanna be that woman for her. That night after Victoria went to bed I called Dan up, I was so happy to hear his voice. I could hear Jean in the background which made me happy, they could have been mad at me but that's not how they are. They had so much concern for me and just so happy I returned which means I have a lot to make up for, I really can't thank you enough Victoria.
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They asked if I called Astra but I told them she found me and I felt the tears start slowly. Because again Ash found me but this time she found me in better circumstances for once. I talked as late into the night as I could about Victoria and me an also trying to catch up with Jean and Dan. I think I apologized a lot during that call because they had been searching all over for me. This is definitely my family and I really love them so much.
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