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Lines of Devotion (Part 3)
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/Joy/
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I wake up before she does but I always linger at the doorway of her room watching her sleeping face. I can't help feeling like this is all a dream and it's gonna be taken away from me soon, so I soak it up and hold on tight. This gives me all the reason I need to fight harder than ever to find a solution to her medical problems even if that means I must contact Olivia for her contacts. But that's not gonna be today I have plans to spend with Cassie since we agreed to do some movie and book shopping. After a few minutes, I decided to make breakfast for her which normally wakes her up from sleep. I had to learn how to cook on my own but at least she enjoys the little things I can cook for her between studies and research I have also taken up cooking research to learn more. Not so long ago this wasn't a reality and I wasn't willing to learn things for another's sake yet here I am.
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Making breakfast was always fun with her I always made pancakes and cut a smiley into the pancakes. But she didn't think it was cute that I violate her pancakes before her so I decided to make a strawberry smiley. The first attempts were messy but I got it perfect eventually, that's a memory we both joke about often. Remembering what had happened yesterday I still don't know why I crossed that line I just acted, she didn't hate it but I feel terrible. I never knew how hard it was to fight against feelings and impulses but I guess I understand those two more now. I wish I could ask Astra how she resisted these impulses and feelings but that's not something I'm ready to open yet.
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After breakfast was made Cassie managed to wobble into a seat to eat what I made. I couldn't help but stare at her no matter what she wears beauty like a scarf and I'm just so captivated by it.
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Cassie; " You are staring again Joy"
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Joy; " Sorry I just couldn't help it"
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Cassie; " Mhhm come eat with me then so you can help the staring."
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Joy; " I can multi-task you know."
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Cassie; " yea now get over here and stop starting I haven't even cleaned up yet."
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Joy; " You don't have to when something comes naturally Cassie."
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Cassie; " Oh shush"
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That last comment ended up in our normal playful feeding ways, she tries to shove her food in my mouth so I don't speak. We do this nearly every day like my world's set to repeat until we step outside these walls. I may be selfish for wanting her to become the princess in the tower if it means I could keep her safe from the harm of the world. But I know I can't she needs help I can't provide to her and it eats me alive every day, especially when I have to speak with Olivia. Today I think we are gonna visit the Teddy Shop since Cassie wanted to make matching teddy bears which is why I fell so hard for her I think. She has an innocence about her that makes everything she does so cute and adorable, I can't help but wish I was a better person.
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Once we arrive at the store she becomes a kid no cares in the world just completely happy and that's what I love the most. I'm pulled along till she finds the right materials and teddy bears she wants us to use. Side by side we work together to dress up and decorate the teddy bears, with our normal playful banter.
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Cassie; " You are good at this you know."
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Joy; " I will take that as a compliment because I haven't a clue what I am doing. Just copying you"
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Cassie; " Hey your not suppose to copy me you know, make it unique."
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Joy; " What if I'm not unique and I'm as plain as a cheesecake"
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That earned me a punch and shove from her but she's laughing and smiling so I succeed again. I don't wanna see the sadness behind her smile or lurking on the rim of her eyes. Once we finish up we paid for them but she then swapped our bears and Cassie was once more as sneaky as always. Since she's gonna go get checked up tomorrow she wanted us each to have something we both created. Even though she's smiling I can see how much weight behind it so I tell her I will treasure it till she returns to me healthy as can be. We decided to gather up some dinner ingredients to cook a meal together so we mix and match our favorites. I'm often on cooking duty and I sometimes get her to make desserts but tonight was a shared cooking experience.
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