Ch. 10
POV: KORI
There's a soft knock on the door, and Lorelei and I both turn as Ryland steps into the room. His mouth opens, and then he shuts it for a moment, clearing his throat. "Hey, mom, something's come up and we've got to go."
His eyes jerk over to me, and I stand quickly. "Oh. Yeah, okay." I look down at his mom, who's now looking at him with a sad gaze. "It was very nice to meet you," I say quickly, squeezing her hand in mine.
Lorelei turns to me, and she smiles. "Of course, dear. And you as well."
It seems like slow motion as I drop her hand, and I walk over towards Ryland. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mom," he says. "Rest up, alright?"
She nods. "I will. I love you."
Standing at his side, I watch him carefully. I’ve grown good at that; noticing the smallest distinctions in people’s reactions to things. It’s how I learned to read my dad growing up.
So, I watch Ryland, and I begin to notice things. The tightness in his breathing. The whitening of his knuckles as he grips the doorknob. Those are the only signs that Ryland gives away, the only signs that her words affect him. "I love you, too."
When he shuts the door behind us, the click of the lock seems to echo like fifty gunshots.
He's already halfway down the hall before I finally take my eyes off his mother's hospital door. I quickly jog to the stairs and hop down them, blinking when I step outside. The sun's already low in the sky, ready to set in less than an hour.
Ryland's already got the car started before I even open the passenger side door. I've barely got my ass in the seat before he jerks the car backwards out of the parking spot and floors it, gunning out of the parking lot and onto the street. We ride up on a minivan, and Ryland stays directly behind it.
"Ryland," I say, looking over at him.
"Shut up, Kiwi."
The minivan slides over into the right lane, and we instantly shoot forward. This time, I turn fully in my seat to face him. "Hey-"
"Shut. Up."
We almost ram into the car ahead of us, and after a minute they move over to the right lane. The driver holds up his middle finger to us as we pass, but Ryland's staring straight ahead. We're going so fast, it feels like we're flying. I face forward again and close my mouth.
After about ten minutes, I realize that the way we’re going isn't the way back to his house. But I stay silent as Ryland drives, turning down endless roads until we're in the middle of a dirt path surrounded by woods. With a jerk of the wheel, Ryland pulls off the road and slams on the brakes, driving halfway into a ditch. I grip the car door tightly as the car slides to a stop. Then, Ryland swings his car door open, stands up like he just parallel-parked at the grocery store, and storms off.
I sit in stunned silence for a good minute, trying to catch my breath. Then, I open my door to follow him. "Ryland!"
No response. Clenching my teeth, I surge forward. I see a dark figure pacing back and forth in front of a tree, and the crunch of the leaves gives my presence away.
He freezes completely when he hears me. "Fuck. Off."
"I can't!" I fling my arms out to my sides. "We're in the middle of nowhere, asshole!"
"You've got a phone. And here." He takes the car keys out of his pocket, wiggles them in the air, and then chucks them over my head and deep into the forest. "Now you've got keys. Have a good night. Happy new year."
"For fuck's sake, Ryland!" I spin around to race after the keys. It takes forever to find them, and when I come back to where we were, he's gone. Swallowing down curses, I start walking again.
I lose track of time quickly, but I finally find him again sitting with his back against the trunk of a tree, his knees pulled up to his chest and his face buried in his arms. The anger and confusion is swelling inside my chest, begging for an outlet, and I'm prepared for whatever he's going to scream at me, ready to scream back. We’ve been doing this since second grade. I can handle what he shouts at me. I can handle him.
But as I get closer, I see he's trembling.
Instantly, all the anger melts away. I stop a few feet away. Now this…I wasn’t prepared for.
"Hey. It's...it's alright." I fumble for the right words, trying not to sound stupid. "We'll figure something out. Your mom's going to be fine."
"I'm a fucking idiot," he mutters.
I kneel in front of him. "No, no you're not."
Ryland lifts his head, and his face is streaked with tears. "I can't save her this time," he says, his voice breaking.
"What are you talking about?"
He sneers at me. "My father was dating Archer's mom while seeing my mom on the side when they were younger. Then, he knocked both my mom and Archer's mom up in college. When he found out, my father was pissed as all hell. He cut off all ties with my mom, married Archer’s mom once they graduated so that his dad would let him inherit the company, and then basically pretended that me and my mom didn’t exist. I was the illegitimate child of Simon Park, but he let me stay with my mom to keep up his perfect image for his company, for his father. Basically, to keep me hidden. The loving father and parent, a man who always put family first. Simon Park would never cheat, would never lie, would never do anything like that. What a fucking joke." Ryland laughs, shaking his head. "But my mom got really, really sick when I was 6. We barely had enough to keep the lights on, so there was no way she could get treatment. But then one day my father appeared at the door and said he'd pay for everything, as long as I came to live with him from then on."
My heart pounds louder and louder in my chest.
"My mom refused at first. Said he'd taken everything away from her, but she wouldn't allow him to take me too. But then, my father turned to 6-year-old me. And he asked me what I wanted to do." Ryland's voice is hard, and I can't tear my eyes away from his. Another tear falls from his eyes, sliding slowly down his cheek. "I don't even know how he knew she was sick. Maybe he kept tabs on us all those years, the fucking bastard. But I didn't give a shit then. He told me all I had to do was live with him and be his son, and all of my mom's pain would go away. He'd solve everything. I just had to go with him.
"My mom was in and out of the hospital for months, but I wasn't allowed to visit her. Not once. All of my stuff was moved out of the house, and suddenly I had a new mom and a brother. A new life. I wasn't allowed to talk about my old life. No one was allowed to know I wasn't born from Archer's mom. If anyone ever asked, my father simply said I was adopted. Better to not be related at all than half related, I suppose. Adoption probably made him look better. And to make me pay back the money he spent on her treatment, he made me...do jobs for him. I didn't know any better. I was just a kid. But he let me visit her once a month, and those visits were what kept me going. Knowing that if I just held on one more day, one more week...I'd get to see my mother."307Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzQEXTQJrQ
I have the faint feeling of the world slipping out from beneath me.
"But now...now he's refusing to pay. He won't help her. He only helped her before because there was something in it for him, but he doesn't give a shit whether she lives or dies. He never did." Ryland shakes his head again. "Stupid. I'm so fucking stupid," he mumbles.
"You're not," I say, wiping at the water droplets hanging from my chin. How long have I been crying?
Ryland glares at me through lowered eyebrows, and he drops his head back into his arms. "Fuck off, Kiwi. Seriously."
"You really need to expand your vocabulary. You used to have such creative insults." I take his wrists, pulling them away from his face. Lifting his chin with my fingers, I lock eyes with him again. "I'm not leaving you."
A flood of pain looms behind his gray eyes, and the floodgates are breaking. "It's my fault," he says hoarsely. "He won't save her because of me. I've ruined his perfect image, and now he's punishing me. She's going to die, and it's my fault. I've killed her. I've...I've...Oh God." He tries to jerk his head away, but I don't let him.
"Stop it," I snap. I don’t want to hear what he’s saying. If this is a confession, I don’t want it. But more than anything, I want him to stop talking about himself like this. "Don't ever say that again. This isn’t your fault."
His eyes find mine again. "I don't deserve to live," he whispers, and it feels like all the air has been snatched from my lungs. "You have no idea what I've done."
"Stop it. Stop it! You're not a bad person, Ryland. You're not some despicable monster who deserves to die. You're a snarky asshole, but you don't deserve this. The way your father treats you is wrong. The way you had to grow up is wrong. And none of it is your fault! You’re just…you’re just a boy doing too much to please everyone. People take one look at you and already decide what to think about you based on who your dad is, or they compare you to Archer to point out all of your flaws. Your dad plastered this label on you from age 6, and you've been living under it ever since. Nothing you could've done justifies the shit you've had to go through. Because you deserve so, so much more than what you've got right now. You really do.”
Ryland stares at me silently, and I can't take it. It feels like he's falling, and I'm grasping for him in the dark but I can't find him, and he's falling farther and farther out of my reach. And I'd do anything to make it stop.
I'd make the world spin backwards if it meant he'd stop looking at me like this.
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POV: RYLAND
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I'm thinking of all the ways I can push her away far enough without hurting her.
She's holding my chin, telling me to stop hating myself just because she's told me to. It's fucking annoying. Her face is fucking annoying. The scent of her is clogging my nose, and her fingers on me make my skin feel like molten lava, and I can't take it. She's close. She's so close. And her voice shakes as she talks, like she actually cares.
I think I might kiss her before I push her away.
Push her away. Scream at her. Run off. Get lost. Maybe I'll trip on a tree root and knock myself unconscious. 307Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBipQ1VdwZ
As I stare at her, the thought springs up in my mind so suddenly, I inhale sharply.307Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQAPiWVAn8
I should tell her. 307Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcnfxMkIoi
I really should. I'll tell her everything that happened. I've wanted to tell her for years.
But my father. He knows about her. Has taken an interest in her. If he did something, what could she and Kansas do about it? Would their father care enough to stop mine? I've seen him take down some pretty powerful people before. My father has people everywhere, and when he sets his sights on something, he gets it. The thought makes me sick.
I think I'll do it. Kiss her. She's right here in front of me. Her lips are moving. I think she's still saying something, and I think I might kiss her.
I've never kissed anyone before. Because I've never wanted to kiss anyone but her.
She's definitely saying something.
"Please..." I say, and it comes out as so much more than just a plea.
She's shaking her head now.
And then she kisses me.
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TO BE CONTINUED...
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Happy ending this time, since last week’s wasn't.
Well, "happy" might be a stretch, since we're still in a weird place. Decent ending? I think this was a happy moment lol.
-Zuffy <3
P.S. I need ship names. Kyland? Rori? Korland? Idk man
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