I address this letter to the person of whom I truly love.
I suppose that until a few days ago I never thought of you as someone I should even be anywhere near. I suppose that somehow throughout my entire life I with all seriousness believed that I just deserve love. Maybe that part of me was right all along, the part of me that never even tried but for once in my life I'm willing to try. So I beg you to see me as the person that I truly am.
There is nothing stronger in human nature than our overwhelming want to be truly seen. Our overwhelming desire to be truly loved and cherished by someone we hold close. I wish for you to be that person to me, I want you to become the person that knows me better than anyone else. I’m sorry for coming off so strong, but I am ecstatic with the thought of finally procuring a person that I can spend the rest of my life with.
Yes I’m aware of the fact I’m living in a rose-colored fantasy to approach you so boldly with this but there has to be something that I can do to stand out. Something that I can do to prove that I’m special so that I can be the center of attention for your wandering eyes. Is there anything that I can do to assure that I can achieve that dream, something so that I assure that we one day will share the same lives and the same dreams?
Perhaps if I revealed to you the hectic patterns of my everyday life and all the dreams I have in the spaces in between. Is that enough for you to finally take interest in the display I have prepared for you? Or maybe if I showed you those little flaws that rest in between what others might see to be as perfection. Or maybe you would like me to point out all the wonderful things you have done for me and the reason you have even caught my attention in the first place.
It was a morning like any other rushing to get everything prepared, afterall my article was far past its deadline, and another day of delay would result in another slip up. However I should have known myself a little better to know that I would drench my papers in my coffee that I wasn’t even going to drink anyways. I decided to just give up and call in sick and instead I drove the fifty mile to the next town to hang out with you.
I don’t why my instincts were to call you first, I’m not sure why you were the first person to pop into my head. Maybe it was because I knew that you would brighten up my super crappy day, or maybe it was because I’m an idiot and I actually have absolutely so idea what I’m doing half the time. I really think that it was because I was questioning our relationship as friends and I wanted to confront you face to face about it while I still had the chance.
I knew that you were the only person who would leave their life behind for me without a second though. I knew that you would leave civilization with me even if it was a last minute decision and we had no other plans. What I want to know even more is that if we left this world together would you cradle me between your arms and let us become one as the whole world. Would you do that for me without a second thought?
I know that it’s selfish of me to think that you ever would do something as stupid as that. I know that when I have those kinds of fantasies where I take out of the city hand and hand to spend the rest of our lives gazing at stars to never return I’m not considering you. I promise that I’ve been paying attention to you still and all your little mannerisms in fact I could list them out.
Whenever you hear anything surprising you start laughing even if it’s not funny, it’s just your natural reaction. Whenever you care a lot about something you try to make it seem like you actually don’t even though you’ll ask about it constantly, like you do for me. Whenever you lie you pretend to pick dirt out from under your fingernails even if there’s nothing there. Whenever you’re trying to focus you rest your cheek against your palm and scrunch your expression. What I love most though, is how whenever someone needs help you never invade their personal life or try to come up with explanations, you’ll just simply listen and be there and that’s more than I could ever believe that I deserve.
So please I want no one else but someone like you, and I know for a fact that you’re the only one like you. I don’t know how you’ll respond but it will give my heart closure. That's what I need more than anything right now.
I look forward to hearing from you soon. Please take care until then.
With my love, your best friend.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
