In the moonlight
It was an uneventful Saturday night. Caroline and Prim had insisted on making an early dinner by themselves for me, and we were just sitting around talking. Katniss was seated by the fireplace watching the flames.
When the doorbell rang, Caroline popped up and got the door. In a minute she called me over, so Prim and I went.
At the door there were two lovely blonde ladies decked-out in their best dancing clothes, all smiles. Looking back at the smirks on Caroline and Prim's faces, I deduced that it was obviously a setup. I knew the girls; I even knew the dresses.
Delly and Madge had known me from childhood. Delly had on those lovely boots her father made for her and her pale blue dance dress. Madge had her favorite white dress on too, and it was obvious they were on their way to the school dance. Both Madge and Delly did a small chuckle and a very formal curtsey and said, "Peeta Mellark, Madge Undersee and Delly Cartwrite would like to request your company to the school dance."
I laughed. "I'm afraid I don't attend school anymore."
The girls got up, giggling, and Madge said, "Peeta, we have a very clever scheme to sneak you in: we'll hide you between two beautiful girls."
"Peeta, come on!" Delly chimed in. "It will be fun! Everyone has been asking why you haven't attended before. I can promise you will have fun—there is not a girl in town who won't want to dance with you."
"What's keeping you?" Caroline chided. "Go on!"
"Go on—have some fun," Katniss said, having abandoned the fire to peer over my shoulder.
I couldn't help but smile. "Well, I guess I should change into party clothes."
"Come on, what you're wearing now is already going to show up every boy there," Prim said assuredly. "Give the other boys at least some chance."
Delly and Madge each grabbed one of my arms, and they started to drag me off. I yelled back to my three girls on my doorstep, "Don't wait up for me!"
Caroline answered, "We won't."
The school cafeteria was its own cinderblock, pale green building. It had large windows and fans to help with the summer heat, and really didn't look like much. On the last Saturday of every month they would take out most of the chairs and tables, build a makeshift stage, put up sashes and ribbons, disable most of the lights, and use their best imagination to convert the pale green monster into a grand ballroom for the young people to meet each other. I loved those dances; I never remember ever seeing Katniss at them, but I never missed one. I loved the girls, the dances, just being with friends, shooting the breeze. From what I saw of parties in the Capitol, they were a million times more expensive, but still—these people could teach the Capitol so much about how to have fun.
Even before we got into the cafeteria we were mobbed by a group of people. I was surrounded. All around me were smiling couples, eagerly watching me.
Someone said, "Come on, Peeta. Show us your magic!"
I look around at their eager faces, and I did want to give them what they requested, but I was afraid. Could I really project to them all to see the same thing? What would happen if someone saw something else? "I don't know. I've never done it for so many people before."
The girl on my right said, "How does that matter?"
Well, sooner or later I would have to try it on groups, so I relented. "Okay, okay, anyone have something small—something I can hide in the palm of my hand?"
The girl on my right pulled off her little wooden leaf earring and put it in my right hand. I closed my hand and told her, "Okay, now blow on my hand, will you?" She obeyed; I opened my hand and pushed, with my mind, as hard as I could, making me feel a little nauseous. I opened my hand. I quickly scanned their faces to see if anyone didn't see the rose. They all seemed to say in unison, "Wow! How did you do that?"
I closed my hand and opened it again. "Here's your earring again."
The whole group applauded and congratulated me, though I heard one of the boys explain to his girlfriend how I palmed the earring as they walked off. I turned to Delly and Madge with an uncontrollable smile. "Well, who wants to dance first?"
I danced and danced. After Delly and Madge there was a seemly endless series of beautiful young girls. For once it was really nice to be me, to be so famous it seemed every girl wanted to dance. Some of them did not dance as well as others, but they all seemed so nice and interested in me and everything I said. I felt like the world's greatest wit.
Between dances, all the guys wanted to talk to me too. Not a single serious word, no games, no Katniss—just jokes and gossip. The guys would pull their hidden flasks from their hiding spots and refresh my drink, and they too would laugh and laugh at my jokes. Dance, laugh, drink and then more; I did it for hours. I felt those people's love for me. The love was partially relief that they hadn't been thrust into the games as I had, but there was more than that. They were not only proud of my survival, but how I survived. Katniss and I had somehow kept our humanity, giving hope to those people.
All the alcohol was getting to me, and I was starting feel a real buzz when I first noticed her: Delly had her pinned in a corner, talking her ear off.
Tess had on a very simple, very small black dress—maybe too small. I stared at her for a while, enjoying her discomfort and her legs. What nice legs she had; my eyes slowly trailed over her black high heels, ankles, shapely calves, knees, wonderful thighs, and then I pulled away to stare into my drink.
So many wonderful girls were there, and I had Katniss. I should've stayed away from that one—that one was trouble; I could feel it in my heart. Still, the little black dress clung so nicely to her. It may have been simpler than anything in the Capitol, but still it put to shame every other girl there. I was in deep trouble.
I chuckled to myself, thinking about poor Tess having to deal with Delly, when I felt a shove. I glanced behind me: Katniss looked mad and was waving for me to save Tess. Not even thinking of what talking to Katniss would look like to onlookers, I said to the confused couple dancing behind me, "Okay, okay, I'll go save her."
When I got to Tess I said to her, ignoring Delly, "You owe me a dance."
Tess put down her drink, looking concerned. "Okay, but are you sure you can dance? Maybe we should sit for a while."
Delly grabbed my arm and tried to pull me to a chair, saying, "Oh, Peeta, you've had too much. Why don't you sit down here? We were just talking about the old days . . ."
I grabbed Tess' arm and started to pull her away; I knew there was nothing I could say to stop Delly from talking. "Come on, Tess, you promised."
Tess waved good-bye to Delly, and we moved amongst the couples. They were dancing a slow dance, and we had to force our way into the crowd.
Tess looked confused as she said, "I don't remember promising you a dance."
"Well, do you want to go back to Delly?" I muttered with a smirk.
She chuckled slyly. "Well, no."
I simply whispered, "Okay," and extended my hand. She took it, her fingers tenderly lacing with mine. As we tried to figure out how to start, we gazed into each other's eyes a little too long, and I felt my nerves creep up.
I managed to break the intensity of the way I stared at her beautiful blue eyes and began the dance. I was always proud of my dancing skills, but she was fantastic! She anticipated my every move, gliding around me with controlled precision. She wore a simple grin, proving to me that she was enjoying it, but her gaze was steeled on my chest, avoiding my eyes.
I was really enjoying our little dance when I stumbled and she caught me. We clutched each other tightly, supporting my weight together. We were completely in each other's arms, and at first she watched my eyes with concern, then with fascination. After we broke apart, we starting circling each other slowly, exploring each other's eyes. I couldn't imagine ever wanting to stop, and I knew she didn't want to either. It felt so nice.
I wasn't sure how long the exchange went on; I had completely lost track of time when I finally noticed out of the corner of my eye that the room was empty. I felt a panic—what had I been projecting? What did Tess see? What did everyone else see?
The room soon filled with people again, so I said to Tess, "Maybe some fresh air would be good." What did they see? As I pulled Tess through the crowd, I heard some guy say, "Where did they come from?"
As soon as we passed through the doors, we were bathed in the cold glow of a bright summer's full moon. The music was still loud, even outside. Katniss was nowhere in sight. When I looked over at the smiling Tess in that so-short black dress, I forgot why I even brought her out there. I shouldn't have drunk so much.
Tess put her arm around me, obviously worried I might fall. "You okay, Peeta? Do you feel ill?"
"No. You didn't see anything, did you?" I asked nervously.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing. I guess I shouldn't drink so much." I looked around, but there was no Katniss and no Tom. "Where's Tom?"
"Oh, he knows how to be invisible when he wants to." Tess put her hand on my chin, directing my eyes to hers. "Peeta, maybe it was my imagination, but we just . . . you know . . . had a moment."
I was shocked. She just said it. I was trying to figure some way to dance around it and then she just said it. "I guess so."
She wouldn't let me fluff it off. "Do you like me?"
I wanted to fluff it off. I obviously liked her, but how could I tell her I was holding out for a dead girl? "I suppose that's a simple question, but can you understand why I don't feel free to answer?"
She finally let go of my chin and murmured, "I understand it. I don't like it, but I understand it. Peeta, I'm not trying to force anything on you. You've been through a lot, more than anyone should have to go through. All I want to do is help. I just wonder if maybe I could help more if you trusted me more."
I felt caught; nothing I could do would feel right. Trying to be as honest as possible, I said, "I do trust you. Maybe I don't trust myself. Would you feel better or worse if I said I trust you only second to Katniss?"
She smiled. "I think I would be honored. Maybe we should get you home."
"Yeah, I think that would be a good idea."
So we slowly started walking back to the Victor's Village, our arms wrapped around each other. Although we only needed to hold each other so close to keep me upright, I couldn't avoid thinking of how much I enjoyed it.
"So," I began, "how does a dance in a school cafeteria in District 12 compare to the Capitol's grand ballrooms?"
"You'd be surprised how many really bad dances and parties I've been to in the Capitol," Tess admitted. "What makes life and parties really interesting are the people, and most people in the Capitol are bores. My grandmother knew Snow as a boy and how this all started, and she survived. She's interesting. Tom has survived dozens of life-and-death situations. He's interesting. People whose only accomplishment is organizing a party are bores."
"You really do like Tom, don't you?" I asked.
"I love Tom. He's here protecting me because he wants to. My father died many years ago in a purge, and Tom has become family to me. I know he never talks in front of you, but when no one is looking he really is great company, and I know no one will ever harm me as long as he lives. In some ways he reminds me of you and Katniss. He's just so brave and honorable."
For the rest of the walk home I tried to avoid any serious talk by teaching her some of my favorite songs. So we sang all the way home. When we finally reached my front door, I turned to face her. Her eyes sparkled with moonlight, and she looked so eager and cute; I figured I'd just give her a quick friendly little kiss to let her know how much I appreciate her. I bent down; her other arm curled around me, and our lips just locked together.
What felt like a bolt of lightning ran down my spine as her body seemed to melt into my arms. When we finally parted, I gasped, just then remembering to breathe. Tess had such a satisfied smile on her face as I quickly said, "Ahhh . . . goodnight!"
She whispered, "Goodnight . . ." as I hurriedly closed the door on her. Damn, I am in so much trouble! What have I gotten myself into now? Damn, she's a good kisser! My knees began to shake, and that was the last full memory I have.
When I awoke in my room it was filled with light and a cool breeze. It must have been near noon. I had a terrible hangover, but what got my attention was Katniss lying on the bed right next to me. She was stroking my hair and crying. I wasn't sure what was going on; I started searching my memory for clues, and then I got really worried.
I started to say, "Katniss, it was nothing—" when she covered my lips with her hand before giving me a long, loving kiss. She pulled back so she was just an inch from my face, and I started to play with her hair, too.
She merely said, "She's the one."
Damn, she must have seen the kiss! I am in so much trouble!"No, Katniss, I was drunk! You can't hold something against a guy that he does when he's that shit-faced!"
Tears were running down her cheeks. "Peeta, it's okay. I'm happy, really."
This can't be happening! "Listen, I was projecting to everyone there, hundreds of people, and I didn't even feel ill! I could have danced with you. I could have put you right there in the middle of the crowd and danced with you! I would have. I should have."
I could see the angry face of hers I'd come to know all too well as her voice raised. "Don't talk crazy! I'm dead!"
"You are here, so you can't be dead!" I yelled back, knowing how the argument would end.
She pulled away and got out of my bed. "I may not be able to leave you completely, but if you keep talking like that, I'll stay away from you."
I could feel my anger build building as I yelled, "Here we go again! You're going to run off and hide from me!"
"What else am I to do?" she pleaded. "You're just so unreasonable!"
My face had grown heated, turning redder by the second. "I'm unreasonable? Maybe I am, but you thought better of my unreasonableness when it was trying to save your life!"
"That's over, Peeta. I'm over. You can't hide from the facts forever!"
She never seemed to understand it, but I tried again. "If you are over, why are you still here?"
"Forcing everyone else to see me doesn't solve your problems! You need to face your problems!"
I pointed at her and said, "Right now my problem is you telling me what to do!"
A panicked banging was rattling my door, and I heard Caroline yelling with a trembling voice, "Peeta, are you okay? What's going on? Please, Peeta, open the door!"
Katniss was crimson as she screamed, "Do you even listen to yourself? Sometimes you sound so crazy!"
It was all so predictable. I know where it was going, but this time she was going to pay. "Crazy! Unreasonable! That's it—you can just live with a tail!" For a second she stood transfixed on me; I had truly shocked her. Then she slowly looked behind herself: she saw a long, hairy tan tail with a puff of hair at the end—a lion's tail. She looked back at me with an anger I've never seen directed at me. She screamed and ran right through me, into the wall. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach.
I opened the door to see a terrified Caroline with eyes as big as plates. In the calmest voice I could muster, I managed, "Oh, good morning, Caroline. I'm afraid I had a terrible nightmare. Could you get me a cup of coffee? Thanks." Then I slammed the door in her face.
As soon as the door was shut I called out, "And naked!" The walls started to shake as pictures and books began to fall, and I could hear Katniss knocking thing down all over the house. The train of chaos slowly got further and further away.
In the hall Caroline was screaming in panic from all the chaos, and I yelled out, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I lost my temper! You can have your clothes back!" Damn, she could make me angrier than anyone I have ever known. I never lost my temper with anyone like that before, not even when my mother beat me! Then I added under my breath, "But you can keep the tail."
I wouldn't see Katniss for a long while. I wondered how long.
How did I screw up so badly?
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