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I will be honest; all the recent coverage that the boys at the school were being hypnotised to believe that we were sissy boys seemed a bit far-fetched to me. I do not recall that I had to stare at a swinging pocket watch. The media were writing that we were being fed subliminal messages all the time. I even had to Google what this meant. “Subliminal messages are words or images presented below our conscious awareness.” For a 10-year-old like me, this sounded like something from a Star Trek film. So my first thoughts were that this was some rumour spread by people who hated the institute. As I thought about it, the adults in my life loved me, and they knew what was best for me. They would never rewire my brain to believe that I was a sissy boy.
Then I remembered that my sister and grandmother told me that they heard whispering voices in the bedroom. I never heard these voices. What if these voices were subliminal messages? As the days went by, I started to think that maybe these rumours had some merit. I did not want to be a sissy before I came here. I always thought that I accepted being a sissy because of the threat of punishment or because the other boys here were also sissies. That does not explain why I was happy to be a sissy boy now and why I felt like one. What if we were being brainwashed by subliminal messages? Surely that would be against the law. It would also be a form of child abuse. If all these rumours were true, I would feel as if I were being tricked.
Niki did not believe any of this. The way that Niki saw the petticoat treatment here, they simply found a part of us that was hidden somewhere in us. The institute was there to support boys like us, and we had to trust them. There was a lot of debate in the media, and the parliament was even debating a new law about places like the Victorian Virtue Institute. Niki had the theory that these rumours were propaganda that was meant to influence the politicians. One thing that Niki was sure about was that many people did not understand sissy boys. People thought we were either freaks or being forced by our parents and the institute to be something we shouldn’t be.
I was happy that I could chat with Emma on Discord. The only thing that she said about all this was, How does the institute know that we have gender identity problems? And why do all the boys that come here discover that they are transgender? Emma did not like the word "sissy," so she always used the word "transgender." Besides this, Emma and I talked about normal things. The more that we talked, the more we found that we had the same interests. We liked the same music and the same films. Emma even liked doing art. The only difference between us was that Emma liked studying and doing homework. Chatting with Emma every day on Discord was something that I looked forward to. It was nice that I could talk about normal things with someone.
Niki chatted with Blake every day. One day, Niki even told me that he was in love with Blake and did not know how to tell Blake this. Niki knew that he always liked boys but did not know if Blake also liked boys, even special boys like Niki. I could see that Niki's love for Blake bothered Niki, as Niki did not know what to do. I tried to help Niki as much as I could, but how could I? After all, I am only 10. I told Niki that he was only 10 as well, so there was lots of time for things like love. After all, we knew nothing about love. Niki agreed with this and said he would not say anything to Blake. Niki wants to be at least a teenager until he gets a boyfriend. I couldn’t help but tease Niki and ask if he would not be Blake's girlfriend.
As for the school, classes and life continued as usual. We were now doing what they call domestic lessons. This meant that we had to learn how to clean and cook. This may not seem difficult or like it should have been a big problem, but it was a big problem for me. As a prince, I always had a maid or cook do things for me. So I never knew how to clean or work. The other boys complained, especially about how perfect a bed had to be when we made our beds. It was not the same for me; I quite enjoyed cleaning, especially vacuuming. I did not like anything to do with the toilets, for obvious reasons. It was entertaining to see the other boys complain about domestic class. I, on the other hand, thought it was better than doing math.
Niki was following the news every day. It seems like petticoat treatment, especially in places like the institute. Niki was very afraid that it would end up with the institute closing, and then boys like us would have no place to go. This made me think of what I thought. I liked the boys and a lot of things that we did here. I just did not like their methods, and at the end of the day, we did not have a choice if we wanted to be sissies or not. Since Granny came here, I had a lot of freedom, but I still had to look at the other boys and how they were treated. I was not sure if the institute was the best place, but it was what we had.
A few days later, there was a lot of drama at the school. It was like a Hollywood film. The police had a search warrant and searched the whole school, including our bedrooms. They took boxes of things they found at the institute. We just stared at the police as they looked in every corner. I wondered what they were looking for. Did they think we were hiding drugs or guns?
A few days later, we found out. The police said at a press conference that they found small devices that sent subliminal messages. The messages were a constant reminder that it was good to be a sissy and that we were not boys. The messages were also that it was fine that boys our age were treated like toddler girls, and that we needed to wear diapers. The subliminal message said a lot, which explained why we became so compliant. It explained why I accepted being a sissy baby when I came here. It also explained why my sister and grandmother could hear whispers. Blake was right. This place was brainwashing us.
The latest confirmation that we were being hypnotised and brainwashed made Niki depressed. The way he looked at it, you were either born to be a sissy or not, and no amount of subliminal messages would make a difference. I disagreed with him but did not debate it with him. I was thinking about other things. It was me who rebelled against the system. The fact that I was a prince meant that the institute was in the spotlight. Was it my fault that the institute was under so much scrutiny and that I could be the cause of the place closing, which would result in the institute being closed?
Madam Criben did what she was good at. She talked with us all, told her not to worry about all the negative attention, and reminded us that the institute had always been criticised since it opened its doors. Madam Criben explained that the subliminal messages were to help us adjust to our new lives as sissies. Society has been telling us that it is wrong to be a feminine boy. The subliminal messages were just to help us discover our hidden identities and who we really were. Once again, she reminded us that we had to trust the adults who knew what was best for us.
This time, Madam Criben's speech and defence did not work. Within the next few days, half the boys at the institute left, as their parents did not want them there anymore. This was such a hard thing to experience. The boys at the institute were like family to me, and it felt as though my family here was breaking up. Niki and I were some of them that remained. The boys leaving also upset Niki, who thought that this was the beginning of the end. It was my mother and dad who would decide if I was to stay. I do not think that my mother would even ask me. She wanted me here. In a way, I was happy that I was not one of the boys that had to leave.
During this time, I was in the art room. Art was a place where I could escape and forget things all around me. Julian told me that I should paint my emotions. He thought that it did not help anyone to keep their emotions locked in them, and art was one place to let these emotions out. Maybe this was why I was no longer painting cute bunnies, unicorns, or kittens. My art was now more abstract, with lots of loud colours. Niki's favourite painting I did was just a pink heart in the middle of grey, dull clouds. As Niki said, that's the way he feels now, and it must be how all the boys here feel. Niki made me smile and told me that I should exhibit my art. I just shrugged my shoulders and told Niki that I was already enough in the media.
I got a letter from my sister Julia:
Dear Taylor,
I see that things are very bad where you are. Now we all know why you suddenly wanted to wear dresses and act like a baby. The people at the institute tricked you. Maybe you can potty train so you don’t need to wear diapers, and maybe you can get some help if you want to be a boy again. It's not that fun here at the palace, either. Mom and Dad are fighting all the time. This has been happening for a long time. The latest argument was that Dad wants you to come home, but Mom refuses to do this. I think our parents are separated as they live on different sides of the palace. I did not tell you this before, as I did not want to worry you. In any case, I think it's our parents who should tell us what's happening. Being a child can be hard at times, as our opinions don’t matter. At least we have each other.
Julia
It seems like my life was one big drama. I did not know what to do about my parents. They have been fighting each other since I came here. A few days after I got the letter from Julia, Niki found me and hugged me. He told me that he was so sorry to hear about my parents. I was confused as to what he was talking about and then found out what he was talking about when he showed me the newspapers. The headline was that “the crown prince and the crown princess were getting divorced.”. I could not believe my eyes. Mom and Dad were getting a divorce, and I was never even told. I was their son! Why could they not tell me? Why did I have to read about it in the newspaper?
This was not the only bad news I got. Niki told me that Miss Eva had also left the school...
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