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The country has a new government and a new prime minister. Mrs Leary did not like transgender children or anything LGBT, for that matter. I am sure half the country thought that Mrs. Leary was extremely conservative and religious. As a royal member, I am not allowed to get involved in politics. So I kept my views to myself. However, the new prime minister gave me some hope. I am sure she would do what she promised and close the Victorian Virtue Institute. This was a huge part of her election campaign, and now she had to deliver. It seems like no one else at the institute is worried. Madam Criben never said politicians never kept their promises. I still had some hope.
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Miss Eva wanted to have one of those therapy affirmations. She was very worried about me. She thought that I was going back to my old ways. She did not want me to be unhappy and start being disliked again. This time, I stood up for myself.
“You think that because I wear a dress, I am suddenly a nice person?” I asked. “Since I came here, I have been forced to be a sissy and a toddler. How is it good for someone who was born as a boy to be forced to act and dress like a girl and even be forced to wear diapers and sleep in a nursery? When I came here, I was told it was discipline and punishment, then I was brainwashed into thinking that this was who I was—a sissy! I think that the dentist did something that made me lisp. This is wrong. If you really cared about me, then you would let me decide what I wanted. If you cared, you would let me go home. Madam Criben promised we could go home if we were not happy here. Let me go home!”
"Taylor,” Miss Eva replied, “you are confused and angry for no reason. I think you need to remember how happy you were when you accepted the petticoat program. You have to realise that we know what is good for you. You need to trust us. Being a rebel won't be good for you. It will only bring consequences that will be negative.”
I left as mad as I was before this therapy. Miss Eva did not even listen to me. She threatened me to get my act together, or there would be consequences. I am a prince, and no one threatens a prince! When I stormed back into my nursery, I wanted to destroy it. It was good that Niki was there. He told me he did not understand what was happening to me. Niki did not know what to say or what to do. All Niki knew was that he did not like to see me sad. He gave me a present, hoping it would cheer me up. It was new paint. I hugged Niki and thanked him, saying it was nice that someone thought about me.
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I was in the media again. Somehow, the press heard that I would not be going home for the break. I suppose my parents now know I had no plan of coming home. I looked on the bright side and saw that the press did me a favour by telling my parents. It also amused me how much they speculated that I was mad at my parents. This was not true; I was sure my parents did not know what was happening or the treatment and brainwashing I was getting here.
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We had an etiquette class. I went because I did not want to be spanked. The class was as stupid as it could be. We had to walk around with books on our heads. Madam Criben told us it was to teach us how to act and walk like a lady. I could not see the point. It was just another thing the institute used to brainwash and humiliate us. The other boys thought it was funny. Niki had a huge smile on his face and thought it was very entertaining. I had to admire Niki. He found the fun in most things and was always an optimist. I suppose it helped that he decided before he came that he was a sissy.
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After the etiquette class, I decided that I was not going to any more classes. I was going to fight the system. I may only be 10 years old, but I was not going to do things I did not like anymore. It was time I was a man and put my foot down. It would most likely mean that I would be spanked so much that I would never be able to sit down. However, at times, we must take a stand and protect our rights. I would be a freedom fighter. I would go down in history books as a freedom fighter who fought an unjust and cruel system.
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Strange enough, Madam Criben knew I refused to go to classes or dance. The only thing I did was go painting with Julian. I was not spanked. There was something that brightened my life during my freedom fight and strike. My little sister wrote me a letter saying that she heard that I was not coming home. This made her sad, as she was looking forward to being with me. This made me smile, as before we never wanted to be in the same room. I wrote back to Julia, saying that the plan was that I was going to visit Niki. It would be fun, and I didn’t have to go on that stupid national tour that Mom was trying to drag us on.
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A few days of my strike went by as I did not attend any classes or therapy affirmations. I still had to dress like a girl, as there were no boy clothes here. I needed to wear a diaper, as my bladder had not had any control for a long time. The only way I could protest was to avoid classes or the places where they tried to brainwash us. Madam Criben lost her patience with me. I was dragged into her office, where she once again threatened me to follow the programme or face the consequences. I justified myself by saying the consequences were not good if I followed the programme either. The petticoat treatment just wanted me to forget that I was born as a boy and humiliate me. The latest was that I started to lisp, and I think it was the dentist's fault.
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Madam Criben gave me a message from my mother. She has heard about my protests and my little rebellion. My mother wrote that I was to get my act together and trust the program. My mother went as far as to threaten me. I was once again reminded that I was a child and had no say. After I read the letter from my mother, I told Madam Criben that my grandmother (the Queen) promised that I could leave if I was unhappy here. Madam Criben did not even listen. She told me that this was my last warning.
I did not listen to her. I went up and hid in my hiding place in the attic. My rebellion was going to get more serious. This meant that I did not leave the attic. I even slept there. My idea was that I would stay there until they either had to drag me out or gave in to my demands. As I sat there, I was mad at the institution and myself. How could I even accept this treatment from the start and think that I was happy being a sissy? Why did I not have a choice? My only hope now was that the staff here would see that I was not going to give up. Either this or my grandmother would come to the rescue. My protest or rebellion was just not for me, it was for every child like me who felt that they were not heard.
Niki snuck some food up to me. I thought that this was very brave of him. He could have gotten into big trouble. It's at times like this that you can see who your friends are. The problem was that I was not a good friend. When he tried to visit me, he would try to talk and cheer me up, but I just remained quiet. Niki tried telling me that he did not understand my protest. He thought that I was so happy to be a sissy. At the same time, he wanted to support me and try to understand me. I did not answer or say anything back. I was tired of people not understanding me. For the last few weeks, I have tried to explain to everyone how I felt. No one listened to me. I was sure that Niki would not understand me. He was the happiest child in the world at times, and he was always an optimist. He was born to be a sissy. Could Niki understand that I thought I was being forced to do something I did not want to do?
Niki bought me food but did not stay long. He bought me a letter from Blake, who heard I was protesting. Blake wrote that he thought that I was so brave and was surprised that I was not punished. He also gave me the “I told you” speech, writing that he told me when I came here that I would be brainwashed and manipulated. The letter from Blake made me feel worse. It made me feel like a dork and I allowed all this to happen. I would have to intensify my protest. So one time, when Niki visited me, I asked him to mail a letter. He looked at the address and was confused that it was for the national TV station. I told him it was best if he didn’t ask any questions. Niki asked me about 20 times if I was sure I wanted to do this. I nodded. My final plan for freedom was put into action.
Niki told me a few days after that he could not stay as there was a testimony session. I told him that I wanted to go as well. So when we were in the classroom, I told Miss Eva that I wanted to give my testimony. She was a bit shocked but agreed.
“We are all told we are sissies." I started, “We are told that we are happier now and we should trust the program. We accept it, thinking that adults are wiser than us. Its not that bad when everyone else is a sissy, but when we are in public, we are humiated. When I came here, I was not given a choice. I was spanked if I did not comply with their petticoat program. I became a sissy because I was afraid. The adults here manipulated, threatened, and brainwashed me. No one ever asked me if I thought I was a sissy or wanted to be one. Madam Eva and Miss Eve told me to accept being a sissy and trust the program. This is not a petticoat program. It is a petticoat discipline to subdue us. Ask yourself if you want to be a sissy. Ask yourself, if you were given a chance, would you wear a dress and diaper?”
Needless to say, I was punished for this outburst. I was spanked and put in solitary confinement for a few days. This only fueled my contempt and my anger. Who deserves to be punished for telling the truth, according to me? I was just expressing my feelings. The way I looked at it, this was part of being a freedom fighter. I would have to be tortured and punished until people respected how I felt.
When I was no longer punished, I spent most of my time doing art until we had holidays. I already knew that I would not be coming back here. I would refuse to do this. The media was now covering the letter I sent to them. They did not know that it was from me, but it still managed to get the headlines. The headlines were that the Victorian Virtue Institute was brainwashing and abusing children. The children here were punished if they did not accept that they were sissies. The school was in a panic, especially Madam Criben. The other boys did not speak with me. I suppose everyone was smart enough to know that the leak to the media was from me.
Niki was by my side all the time. One day when we were alone, he was on the verge of tears as he noticed how I did not speak so much with him and that I seemed so bitter and mad. Niki was afraid that I was no longer friends with him because he was a sissy. When he said this, I felt so guilty about the way I treated him. I can be so selfish and egotistic that I never thought of Niki’s feelings. I hugged Niki and apologised, saying that he was my best friend and I was so sorry I treated him like crap. Niki let his tears flow, saying that he had never had a best friend before. To be honest, neither have I. We decided to accept each other as we were and not be afraid, to be honest and open with each other. We also agreed we would have fun at his grandmother's when we had holidays.
My mother did not feel the same way. She wrote to me about how disappointed and angry she was that I was still in my rebel mode. She did not like that the media was saying that this was some sort of child abuse. My mother could have threatened me, but I do not remember as I told my mom that maybe she should consider if the media was telling the truth that it was child abuse, and why did she not think of how I felt or wanted? I hung up the telephone.
The day before we had holidays and could go home, Julian (my art tutor) told me that he was impressed by my courage and determination. He told me that he wished he had had the same courage when he was a student here. Julian would still not tell me his story. He did give me his cell phone and told me to call my grandmother. My grandmother told me she was in her weekly meeting with her prime minister, but she advised that I enjoy my holiday with Niki, and she told me that she promised me that I did not have to be at the institute if I did not want to. She told me that I would not be returning to the Victorian Virtue Institute after the holidays.
Who knows if the institute will even be open after the holidays? The parliament was now discussing the institute and petticoat discipline. The letter I leaked to the media influenced the Parliament debate. I had a feeling that, despite I did not have to return, things would change for everyone.
Finally, the holidays came, and Niki and I were on the way to his grandmother.
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