Blue
I’m wide awake by five in the morning, and for once it’s not because of a nightmare.
I wake up with the image of Keegan’s beautiful tits in my mind, along with a painful case of blue balls.
I’ve also got Cunny’s voice in my head.
“No red-blooded, testicle-totin’ man would have walked away from a sweet, warm, willing piece-of-ass like that,” he scolds me. “Are you fucking kidding me, Daniels? Strap on a pair and nail the girl like she wanted you to.”
Yeah, Cunny would be ashamed of me.
And yeah, when we crawled soaking wet back into her room last night and stripped down to our underwear, she was definitely willing.
She was leading me over to the bed when I stopped her.
I already had a raging hard-on when I cradled her face in my hands and suggested we take it slow, spend a little more time getting to know each other.
Pretty sure I could hear Cunny screaming at me from beyond the grave.
But then an idea popped into my head. “Do you have any hiking boots?” I asked.
Keegan shot me an incredulous look. “What?”
“Never mind,” I said, waving my hand in the air. “Sneakers will do.”
Shaking her head, she’d reached into her closet for a robe and then tossed a towel from the back of the door at me.
I wrapped it around my slightly less obvious erection.
“Look, Keegan,” I said, determined to persuade her. “I want to take you someplace tomorrow. Someplace special. I know it sounds nuts, but I think you’ll really enjoy it.”
She stared at me as she tied the robe around her waist.
“Blue, I can’t go hiking tomorrow,” she said, raising her hands in exasperation. “I have to be at an editorial meeting at the paper at 5. All the reporters are required to be there.”
I pulled her into my arms then and promised to have her back at the house by 4. Then I kissed her over and over, and basically begged her to go.
And when she finally agreed, my erection and I practically ran out of the room before I changed my mind and took her back to the bed.
I check my phone. Still only five thirty in the morning.
I try to distract myself by focusing on the technical details of the day: All rappelling equipment needed? Check, already stowed on the ROTC bus.
Transportation method secured? Check, aforementioned ROTC bus already reserved with a driver lined up, assuming he shows up sober.
Enough qualified personnel to ensure a safe and effective exercise? Check, as long as you assume a bunch of hung-over undergrads looking to complete their Adventure Training hours fits the bill.
Plenty of the ROTC guys and girls have brought dates along on our unit’s weekend rock-climbing trips, but today will be the first time for me.
I’m not exactly sure how Keegan will react. Or the guys in my unit, for that matter.
It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, to suggest she come along on the training exercise I was already scheduled to assist with as a ROTC adviser.
And I’m hoping that after the rappelling, we can slip away from the group and hike downriver to this pretty spot I stumbled across last year: a secluded, lushly green alcove where the river tumbles over the rocks into a deep, clear pool.
Above the pool, behind the waterfall, is a cave just big enough for a blanket and a campfire.
Seriously romantic stuff. At least I hope so.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, Keegan’s standing over me, wearing leggings and a Daily T-shirt. And the high-top sneakers I'd suggested.
“I knocked,” she says, “but you didn’t answer so…” She taps her watch. “You did say 6:30.”
Her eyes travel down my body. I’m naked, covered only by a sheet. And I have to jump up and run to the bathroom before my hard-on takes control of the situation.
Jesus, what this girl does to me.
I hear Keegan laugh. “You okay, Blue?”
I slip on my boxers and come out of the bathroom, feeling like an idiot. The boxers do nothing to hide my interest.
“I’m actually looking forward to getting away from here, being outside,” she tells me, stretching her arms above her head. “As long as you’re sure we can be back by four.”
I return the smile as I quickly get dressed and slide my wallet and keys into my pocket. “I’m sure.”
We head outside. Just as I pull open my car’s passenger door for Keegan, Max comes bounding out of the backyard.
Someone—probably Hunter—yet again failed to latch the gate.
The dog heads right for the car and jumps into the seat.
“Aw, Max.” Keegan does an air smooch at him as I snap my fingers.
“Not today, buddy. Get out of the car.”
Naturally, he ignores me.
“Max!”
He looks away as if he has no idea I am talking to him. Little bastard. Or big bastard, considering his size.
I try to pull him out, but he hunches down in the seat, determined to put up a fight.
“Max! Get out of there, right now.”
I pull a little harder, and he finally gives up, jumping to the ground and then lifting his manipulative head toward Keegan so she can pet him.
“Aw,” she says, “can we just take him with us?”
I’m shaking my head before she’s finished with the sentence, and it occurs to me that I haven’t actually told her we’re going rappelling.
“We wouldn’t be able to take him where we’re going.”
"Aw," she says again, slipping into the passenger seat and looking up at me. The rising sun highlights the shades of amber in her eyes.
“And when are you going to tell me where that is, exactly?” she asks.
“It’s a surprise.”
I grab Max’s collar and start tugging him toward the back yard.
I’m suddenly nervous about the day I’ve planned. What if Keegan hates the whole thing? What if sliding down a sheer cliff on a rope isn’t her idea of a good time? Last night, it seemed like a great idea. Now I'm not so sure.
I shove Max into the backyard and latch the gate. He starts whining as I walk back to my car.
“Give it up, you damn dog,” I mutter.
I can’t help feeling bad, though. Max has both me and Keegan wrapped around his hairy paw.
I pull out of the driveway as Keegan looks around the Couple.
“Nice car,” she says. I can hear the question in her voice.
I wish yet again I hadn’t agreed to take my old man’s prize car after he died.
I’d been sitting at the kitchen table with my mother after my father’s funeral when Mama pushed the keys toward me.
I’d pushed them back. “I don’t want it, Mama. And I seriously doubt Dad would want me to have it, considering how things were between us when he managed to get himself killed.”
I hate myself all over again every time I think of my cold, sarcastic tone that day and the anguish it carved into my mother’s face.
I hadn’t apologized to her, not then, anyway. But I did take the Coupe.
All I had at the time was a rattletrap car I’d spent every penny I had to buy. It was always breaking down. I needed a more reliable vehicle.
So I gave in, telling myself I took the Benz to make my mother feel better. But who the fuck was I kidding?
And five years later, I’m still driving it.
“Thanks,” I say. “It was my dad’s.”
She puts her hand on my arm and rubs it with her thumb in a gesture of consolation.
We’re on the highway in a matter of minutes, headed west toward Red Rock Canyon.
I set the cruise control at 70 and let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.
It feels good to be driving along, watching farmhouses and fields, tree-studded hills and dying, one-horse towns slide by in a blur.
I thought about Oklahoma a lot when I was confined to a tank, rolling through the parched landscape of Afghanistan. When I finally stepped off the chartered DC-10 at Fort Sill, home for good, I’d gone weak-kneed. Good thing my old man hadn’t been around to see that.
I punch in one of my playlists, and we drive in silence, listening to the music.
But suddenly, Keegan throws up her hands. “Okay, I can’t stand it!” she explodes. “No more damn sixties music. How about something from the twenty-first century?”
I make a face but decide to indulge her. “What would you like to listen to?”
“Maybe something they actually play on the radio?”
I clutch my chest like I’m having a heart attack. “I’ll pretend I didn’t just hear that,” I mutter as she rolls her eyes.
She hits the radio button and searches for a station that suits her. Finally, she settles on some candified Taylor Swift song.
I stick a finger down my throat. But then I can’t help grinning at her.
The landscape changes as we get closer to our destination. The iron-rich soil has turned red, and the rolling prairie grass seems to go on forever.
Keegan’s staring out the window, tapping it lightly with her fingers.
I’ve just opened my mouth to explain what we’re going to be doing when I see the sign for Red Rock.
Too late for explanations now. She’ll find out in just a moment anyway.
Inside the park, we pull up next to an old school bus with Reserve Officer Training Corps painted on both sides.
In front of us loom the red sandstone cliffs that give the canyon its name.
The whole ROTC group is standing next to the bus, sorting gear. They turn as one to stare at us as I park the car.
I glance at Keegan, trying to gauge her reaction. Then I launch into an explanation.
“So I thought you might like to go rappelling. Um…with my ROTC group. I mean, I’m the ROTC adviser, and we do this several times a year, and I thought…” I’m babbling.
Why did I think this was a good idea?
Keegan looks wide-eyed from me to the group and back again.
“Look, it’s totally okay if you want to just watch,” I fumble, feeling like an ass. “I should have told you up front about it. I just—”
“I’d love to do it,” Keegan cuts me off as she’s opening the door. “Let’s go!”
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