Want to read the final version of this story in ebook or paperback? It'll be available soon. Sign up for my newsletter to be notified! 😊
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSp66TeOprC
Three Years Later…
Keegan
It’s been three years since Blue was taken away from me. Three agonizingly long years. But it’s almost over now.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7b5UgIF4p
It could have been a lot longer. Blue was originally sentenced to eight years in prison. Eight years. Just thinking about that now makes my stomach drop.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpkBwEqmCv
I cried out when the sentence was read in the courtroom. Like a fool, I screamed at the panel that convicted him. I screamed at the judge. I couldn’t control myself. The sentence seemed so unfair, so pointless.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtKF2oHuzP
Naturally, I was thrown out by the bailiff. So I didn’t even get to say goodbye to Blue before he was taken away.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBYGj9D6Zc
Devastated, I went home to my room at the ranch. I curled up into a ball on my bed and stayed that way for the next week.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlMJVEfjuF
I didn’t bathe; I barely ate. I just wanted to sleep all the time, to dream that Blue was right next to me, tangled up with me.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYC6pW4hUs
I didn’t want to see or speak to anyone. I was mad at the Army, mad at the world, mad at God.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVixFxOd8CE
Most of all, I was so goddamn angry at myself. If I hadn’t written everything down in my journal, none of this would’ve happened.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8QOzozB7t
I didn’t see any way to go on. Not without Blue. Not for eight years, without Blue.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMox6yASHe
When I finally emerged from my self-pitying coccoon and started acting somewhat sane, Virginia gave me the letter from Blue.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXK5NPi15kS
He’d intended for me to have it right away. But Holmlund was worried how it would affect me. So he gave the letter to my grandmother and asked her to give it to me when she thought the time was right.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63WJmfe9Om
I was pissed that she held it for so long. More than pissed. I was fucking furious at both her and Holmlund. How dare they make that decision?94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DC5TtZT1M
I screamed at my grandmother. I told her she had no right to withhold the letter from me. I stormed out of the house and into the barn, saddled Okie and took off at a gallop with the letter still unopened in my jeans pocket.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6TCG9mpHT
I didn’t read it until I reached the cabin. I went up to the loft, to the bed where I’d spent so many nights with Blue, ripped open the letter, and read it through, slowly, three times.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWBKPf6F7x
Then I cried for what felt like forever.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvEBbdMy8e
But after that, I got angry at Blue. I mean, I understood what he was trying to do. He was thinking of me, of what he thought was best for me.
But did he really think I would just walk away and forget I ever knew him? Did he really think I could do that?94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhNUbsGNUD
By the time I headed back toward the house, it was dusk. I took it slow, giving Okie his lead, moving at a gentle pace through the dark. I cried a little more, thinking about my romantic ride through the darkness with Blue several months ago. It seemed like another lifetime, when we did that.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7iy4q0CsX
But I also started thinking about something Holmlund told me earlier when he called to check on me and Virginia literally had to force the phone into my hand.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccAxCyqhbv
“Keegan,” Holmlund said, “do you remember I told you the day the verdict was read that it wasn’t the end, that I still had some tricks up my sleeve?94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZwF7Zb65D
I didn’t answer: I just stood there silently, sulking like a baby. But I was listening.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1uNj6tKwA
Holmlund went on, telling me about the Army Clemency and Parole Board.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrmwkdHHZL
“After nine months, Blue can request clemency from the board. That means his sentence could be set aside completely or at least reduced, if we can convince the board that he deserves it.”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpXKA0FxQ1
And that lit a little flame of hope inside me. Clemency. If anybody deserves clemency, it is Blue Daniels.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsHOIFSH7n
First though, we had to get through the initial nine months.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7N4da75PO
It took two months before I was allowed to visit Blue at Fort Leavenworth in Kansas. That’s because at first, he wouldn’t sign the permission form to have me cleared to come to the prison.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfuhCN86l2
He wouldn’t even make the collect call to the ranch that he was allowed once a week. He called his mother, but not me.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4CA1K4VZI
He was applying tough love, I guess. He wanted me to do what he’d asked me to do in the letter. He wanted me to walk away.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiR241puxF
But I was not going anywhere. And I was going to make Blue talk to me.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1rZVIkwuB
So I drove to Tulsa, to his mom’s house. A sympathetic Maria had told me when he was supposed to call her, and when he did, she answered and then handed the phone to me, walking away to give us some privacy.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bs5ccEOlB
I just stood there for a minute, holding the phone, debating what to say.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQqa7XxtmX
“Hello?” I heard Blue say. “Mama?”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPDHNWegDr
Then I exploded. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlYTdBJAqA
Silence on the other end. And then, finally, his voice, weak and uncertain. “Keegan?”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXN79Gek6IG
“Answer my question!” I snapped. “What is wrong with you? What do you think you’re doing, cutting me out like this? Do you know what it’s doing to me, Blue? Do you?”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdmXuE5PRn
He didn’t answer, so I barreled on.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrH66IkYaH
“How dare you send me a letter like that and then just expect me to walk away. Like I could even do that. What the hell were you thinking, huh? And, then, then, you pull this crap of not letting me come see you, not calling me?”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4icZpDgQV
He was still not responding, and I was working myself into a frenzy.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHKbSEVEdI
“You’re just a . . . a stubborn jackass! I’m not going anywhere, do you understand me? You are stuck with me. If I have to drive up to that prison and stand outside all day, every day, ‘til you sign that form, I’ll do it. You are not getting rid of me that easy. So don’t even think I’m walking away from you!”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWpF2fvZf2
Still, there was silence. I began to wonder if he’d hung up. But listening closer, I could hear his shallow breathing. The kind of breaths you take when you’re crying.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WCL0okusD
“For God’s sake, Blue, say something!”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIyqOBRFI1
There was another long pause. “Eight years is too long, Keegan,” he finally said, sighing, his voice small and miserable. “It’s just too long. I can’t let you wait around for me, don’t you get that? I can’t do it.”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFzerc9oFw
“You have no choice. Do you get that, Blue? You. Have. No. Choice.”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJSB6m63CY
My body couldn’t decide at that moment whether to start screaming again or break down crying.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmnyFaKOqI
“I’m waiting.” Now I'm half shouting and half crying. “And you are not shutting me out!"94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6oYBoXXwz
I let my words hang there a moment. Then I went on a tad more calmly.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppQeKmmAHK
"Besides, it won’t be eight years. Don’t you remember the clemency board Holmlund talked about? We already have a plan on that. So don’t think you’re getting rid of me. I told you, I will come up to that prison and stand outside of it every fucking day until you let me in. And I mean it!”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWc0NMVVY4
He did eventually sign the form, and Maria and I started taking turns driving up to see Blue. And he started calling me at the ranch as often as he could.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vvqyVUUIr
It wasn’t nearly enough. But it was better than nothing.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaG2F6FfJI
And that’s where Blue's music started to help. It was out there, being consumed, being shared, moving hearts and minds. Frasier Bryson was doing everything in his power to tell Blue's story, to advocate for him.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ062Kv0vg9i
At the same time, Virginia was pulling political strings, calling in favors.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZkYRE01fy
All of us—me, Holmlund, Virginia, Maria, Bryson —threw ourselves into the effort to get clemency for Blue.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21kWy0p9bw
His conviction generated headlines around the world, and we did everything possible to keep his name and face and cause in the public eye for those nine long months before he could apply.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkS7urreAi
And public opinion started to change. You could feel it.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaUcR9qtw4
I mean, there were still plenty of haters out there. I tried to avoid seeing the venom online. We still had to be careful with our own security.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hQIJ15C8R
But by the time Holmlund filed an appeal with the clemency board, public sympathy for Blue seemed at an all-time high.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQPLUw4UbW
And when the board met, Cunny’s mom miraculously showed up to speak on Blue’s behalf, saying she believed clemency was what her son would want.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wU3uopbL9
Blue broke down and sobbed as she spoke. So did I.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTJmjmUV9L
Even with all that, though, it took almost a year. The board dithered and delayed its decision. Holmlund said there must have been some strong opposition to granting Blue clemency.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiHbzDfV8W
But finally—finally—we got word he would be released just after his three-year incarceration date.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cboA0CE8U
And now, I’m on the highway, almost to the Leavenworth exit. I’m going to pick him up, bring him home to the ranch.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QLlRSNlHO
Maria was kind enough to let me come by myself, to give us a little time alone together. She’s waiting at the ranch for him, along with Bryson.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpc0PBq7Co5
They’re a couple now. I guess when they met, they made an instant connection. Kind of like me and Blue.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8bJz8LKKy
They were scared to tell Blue about it at first. They didn’t know how he’d react. But he’s been okay with it. In fact, I think he’s thrilled.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVLYvkOQL4
“Who would have thought?” he laughed in our last phone call. “Bryson and my mom.”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIJ7HsxZue
I’m beyond excited to get Blue out of prison. My body and my soul have ached for him every day, every second, that’s he been away. I’ve driven myself crazy thinking about what he’s gone through at Leavenworth.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhkpRkvMJT
I can’t wait for him to touch me, hold me, make love to me. I want him to be rough and tender and crazed with passion and wild with adoration, all at the same time.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCPP6JOAsM
But I’m also nervous about our reunion. About how it will be between us. Three years is a long time, and inevitably, we’ve both changed.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSubAA5Kkp
Blue’s sadder, more introspective. I can see it in his eyes when I visit, hear it in his words.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFGAKksYX0
He’s been a model prisoner, teaching music classes to inmates, writing more songs. He’s a better, stronger person now, I think.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVChw4pBIYF
I’ve changed, too. At least I hope I have. The last three years have helped me grow up.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSs901Z7Dbd
I’ve spent a lot of my time with my grandmother, helping care for her. That nagging cough that’s dogged her was diagnosed as lung cancer not long after Blue’s conviction.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBIfw9vNHm
Just when it felt like we were getting closer, building the kind of relationship we should have had all along, I may be about to lose her.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4PEgveMsp
I don’t know how much longer she has. The doctors say probably not more than a year. But they don’t understand what a tough old bird Virginia Cooke is. She may surprise us all.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUyTG3FbJE
She’s still prickly, still regularly gets under my skin. But I understand her a lot better now.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrVsZdAUdF
I’m about to finish my degree at OU. I couldn’t bring myself to go back to Ikana, assuming they’d have let me come back. It just wouldn’t be the same.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxlWu5UdRe
And I’ve applied for law school. Not because my grandmother wanted it, but because, after what we’ve experienced, I’m a lot more interested in becoming a lawyer than I ever thought I’d be.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7Ru5VylcY
I might still go into journalism. But I like the idea of having a law degree as well.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qgHbefsiA
In a surprising turn of events, my brother is now a student at Ikana. Buick is apparently breaking hearts all over campus.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmPxidfaML
But that’s another story.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2tkkU2qcI
I see the Leavenworth sign up ahead and turn on my signal.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraLIBVoc4r
“I’m almost there, Blue,” I say. “I’m almost there.”94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkj1edrEPR
~~~
Only two chapters left in this story! The final version of Tangled Up in Blue will soon be available in ebook and paperback. Sign up for my newsletter, and you'll be the first to know when it's ready!
Interested in Keegan’s sexy brother Buick? He's got a searing story of his own that will start soon here on Penana! Be sure to follow me so you don't miss You Belong to Me. 😊
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTd9PYpHvfm
