I picked up the glass of water and took a sip of it. I felt relief as it flowed down my throat. I took another gulp before keeping it back on the nightstand. How I looked, she loved the way I looked. Was it only that day or always? Does she still love the way I look? Is she over me already?
My chest became heavy as these thoughts rang through my head. It hurts. It hurts to not know how a person feels about you. Do they like you? Does the way you speak irritate them? What is going on in their head?
Karen wrote it all down. Maybe not honestly, she left some things out, and I have no way to know. But she wrote down twelve things she loved about me. I can't wait to see what the remaining eleven were.
I flipped to the next page and start reading.
Your Glances.169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaqD8X1yLv
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCWvaQONOR
if there's something else that drew me closer to you, something else that got me even more attracted to you, was the way you glance around. Your innocent looks always got me. You had a cute way of looking at people, I don't think you would have noticed it, but it was cute, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one that thought that way.169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjHZ4wJSu0
The day after my introduction, you had your first glance at me. It was special. To me, it was like a first kiss, but a first glance. Lol, dumb right?169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaD7TIGPcV
You turned back in your seat to talk to the person behind you. I could already tell something was bothering you, you looked annoyed inside, but you tried to keep it cool on the outside.169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2A4HgIrMvR
We were grouped into two and tasked with an assignment to write an essay of five thousand words on the topic "Muslim Hakim Al-Hikma as an inspirational figure to the society."
Up until the moment we were given the assignment, I had never heard that name. Neither had Blake and we were both on the same team. We each had to write our version. She, the teacher, made it clear that the only way to pass is if both people on the team wrote theirs.
She revealed that it was what we will be graded with. We both have to write if we were to pass. And Blake didn't do his. That was what we were talking about when you saw us, Karen.
I sighed and then continued reading the letter.
After talking to your friend, you looked away, and as you were looking away, you glanced at me, and our eyes met. The whole world stopped. I felt as if you kept looking at me and didn't avert your eyes.
I felt a flush in my stomach and just like that, my face was all red. You still didn't look away. Or maybe it was just me Cole? Were you looking at me? Or was I just imagining it? I guess I wouldn't know.
At that time? I don't think I was looking at you. I knew I had just failed a test because of Blake. But I did get a glimpse of what you looked like. Your hair was long and dark brown. It fell over your shoulder to rest on your back. Sapphire-blue eyes that complimented your light skin. You had black lipstick on, it wasn't too much, but it was visible. Your nose looked like that of an artist I use to have a crush on, Yeji.
A smile formed on my lips, I tried to hold it back but I couldn't. I recalled when I told her that when we were on a date. I told her that her nose looks like Yeji's. She didn't know who that was, so I looked up the picture and showed it to her. She started blushing after seeing the picture then she covered her face and ran into the car. I remembered the conversation vividly.
"Oh my god, you're kidding," she said, her face turning red.
"Take a look, you know I'm right, the same type."
Then she covered her face. "Cole stop, oh my god." Then she quickly ran to the car.
I sat there for a few more minutes laughing before following her to the car. I still dream of the days and nights we spent together. I'll never forget them, and I… I wish she'll never forget them either.
After what felt like hours to me, you looked away. My heart was racing, and fast, way too fast. My chest kept rising up and then fell. It was so much because I kept reliving that moment when you looked at me. The girl sitting behind me tapped my shoulder and asked if I was okay. I wasn't, you were on my mind all day and night. I couldn't sleep. I kept wondering if you'll look at me the same way again.
The door swing open and my mother walked in. I involuntarily closed the book and hid it behind me. She looked at me and smiled. "Hey honey, are you okay?" She asked concerned.
I forced a smile and nodded. "Yeah, I'd err-- I'm fine yeah."
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"I err--" my mom knows about Karen, maybe she told my dad too, I don't know. When she learned that Karen and I had broken up, she kept trying to comfort me, saying she'll come back if she truly loved me, and that I should give her space and time.
So I don't think I should tell her that she sent me an entire notebook of things she loved about me.
Mom cupped my face in her hands. "You can tell me anything honey," she stated.
"I…" I held her hand with mine and pulled it down from my face. I sighed before speaking. "It's just I have to figure out my whole future before tomorrow. It's just kind of too much mom," I lied, well not completely a lie. I had to, but I did, already.
"You'll figure everything out." She kissed me on my forehead and smiled. "Come down for dinner," she said.
"Mom I need to--"
"Your dad insisted," she chipped.
She ran her hand through my hair before leaving the room. I sighed loudly and picked up the book, running my thumb over it. I want to read all of it, I want to know everything she loved about me. I want to know it all.
I pulled a drawer and kept the book in it before heading downstairs to the kitchen. The stairs announced my arrival and it made a loud noise.
Mom, dad, and Abigail are already seated and eating. I smiled lazily then sat on a chair next to Abigail and opposite dad
He looked at me and then at mom before returning to his food. I pulled the plate of potato chips to myself and put some in my mouth.
"Cole I liked the drawing you made, I'll sleep early today so that you'll draw more for me," Abigail said, breaking the silence.
I smiled and tapped her head.
After another long silence, my dad cleared his throat. He picked up a napkin and wiped his mouth and hands. "So ehm, Cole, in a few months you'd graduate high school," he started. "Do you want to enroll in university? Or maybe you want to take some time off, get a job or something, you could come and work for me," He asked.
University huh? My mom looked at me and raised her brow. I don't know. I just… I just want to be with Karen. Wherever she is, I want to be there.
"O-of course I'd continue my study," I stuttered.
Dad smiled. "Okay, I was thinking of the university of Oxford. Aunt Clair stays in England, you could live with her," he suggested.
My breath hooked in my throat as his husky voice hits me. England? That's where Karen is right now. Why is he suggesting this? Does he know? Did mom tell him? Why England?
Seconds ago I wanted to be anywhere she is, but now that I actually can, I don't think I want it. What if she doesn't want me to be there? What if she hates me now?
Dad exhaled softly. "I'll leave you to do whatever you want, it's your choice." He stood up from his chair. "Good night," he said, walking out of the kitchen.
End of chapter.
