I paced downstairs slowly, trying to not make any loud noises to disturb others that are asleep. The night was cold and I had a hoodie on, but I still shivered, not only from the cold. I looked through the curtain over the window and there wasn't a single light outside, everyone is probably asleep. How long have I been up?
It is so quiet that I could hear the murmuring sound of the pigeons. I smiled as I recalled the words my mom used to tell me when I was little.
"Don't stay up at night honey, those coos you hear outside, they are ghosts calling out to you, if you keep listening to it you'll fall into their trap and you'll be lost in their world, forever, do you want momma to lose you?"
She use to say that to get me to sleep at night because I use to stay up all night playing pubg. I can't believe I believed her stories, it sounds silly now that I think about it.
I walked into the kitchen with my cup and stopped at the water dispenser to pour myself some water.
"Cole?"
I turned to see Abigail walking down the stairs. I picked up my filled cup and stridden up to her. "What are you doing awake?"
"I was thirsty," she revealed.
I smiled and gave her the water for her to drink. Staring at Abigail made me remember when Karen use to joke that Abigail was the only reason she was still with me. I still have Abigail, and she's not here. My eyes start to water and I tried my best to hold them back in.
She passed the cup back to me. "Go back to sleep now."
I refilled my cup again before returning to my room. I lie down on my bed and took my phone from the nightstand. I shrank in my blanket as the thought of calling her raise in my head again. I felt a throbbing headache in the back of my head as my thumb lingered over her number. I shouldn't call her now, at least not until I finish the entire letter. I barely even remember what she sounds like anymore. It feels like eons since I last spoke to her.
I returned the phone to the nightstand and picked up the book. I flipped to the page stopped and continued reading.
How you make me feel better.
It was silly, I know I was being stupid. At that time we were just friends it doesn't matter what you did with other females. But seeing you with Agathe-- it… it broke me. I rushed downstairs, my face all covered with tears and a broken heart. I thought you were going to chase after me, who was I kidding, I was only delusional.
I pushed past the people and quickly ran for the door. I had no idea where I was going. I just ran down the street like a crazy person until I saw a bus that was heading to my street. I got on and sat in the backseat, alone and sad, broken, in pain, hollow in my stomach, and completely vulnerable
You probably think I'm writing you this to make you feel guilty or sorry, well if that's what you think, then yes, that's one of the reasons I wrote all this.
I managed to let out a chuckle underneath all the sorrow in my heart.
I managed to get back home alive, and hey guess what, it was 1 am, and my parents were utterly scared as they couldn't find me in my room. Now I return home, late at night, a complete mess. A nightmare, it was.
I got mad at literally everything. Refused to eat, or do anything. And didn't even come to school anymore. Everything suddenly pissed me off.
Yes, I recall it now. It was the first Monday after the party, Karen's seat was empty, and her friend Susan wasn't present too, I had no one to ask about her. She left me in utter horror. I was worried sick.
And just like that, I came down with a fever. Even though I was mad at you, I kept wondering how you were and hoped you weren't worried about me.
Oh Karen I was.
I tried to call Susan to inform you that I was fine, but she wasn't picking up either, and I later found out that she traveled with her parents and lost her phone.
Three days later, I was back. I tried so hard to avoid you. I didn't know what to tell you, what will I say to you? Was I to apologize? I had no idea, I sometimes even miss some classes just to avoid you, especially music class.
Which got pretty obvious. Because, she could be coming downstairs and when she noticed me, she turn and vanish, thinking I didn't see her, even that wasn't a pleasant feeling, I thought I had lost her.
But then suddenly, you appeared next to me on the roof one day. I was sure I managed to conceal my presence around you, but you found.
She told me before the party that she liked hanging out on the roof, it gave her time to clear her head and think peacefully. So all I did was waited for some days and let her clear her head.
And then all of a sudden, you apologize. "I'm sorry Karen." That was what you said. And I was confused. Why were you apologizing? You weren't obliged to, you did nothing wrong.
I no longer felt all the anger I felt any more. Suddenly, I felt like everything was okay, and I had nothing to worry about. I knew instinctively at that moment, that you also felt the same way. I knew, that you also liked me.
Cole Anderson, you dummy, you made me the happiest girl that day.
End of chapter.
