I took a deep breath and turned to the last page. It was the final thing she wrote. My heart was racing fast. I was scared. I swallowed hard and started reading.
How dumb you can be sometimes.
I don't think this should be part of this list, but there are things here I need to call out. And I sometimes like it, how oblivious you can be sometimes.
After our kiss. You dropped me off at home and kissed me again before leaving.
That night, was when my mom told me. My mom informed me that we were moving to England since my dad had gotten moved to that location for his job.
A normal kid will be happy, maybe because they'll finally get a change of pace. But I wasn't. It was, not what I wanted. I was going to be far away from you and I couldn't have that.
I was miserable and ended up not sleeping well.
When I saw her in classes, she looked like she hadn't slept for days.
I quickly rushed to the school to tell you about this, because my parents were eager to leave. I searched everywhere, looking for you, but couldn't find you anywhere. It was as if you were avoiding me.
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I told you everything that happened through text and asked you to meet me at the back of the school after classes.
I wasted no time and rushed to our meeting place immediately after my class, which you weren't in either. It was as if mother nature wanted to end our relationship so badly.
I didn't attend most of the classes that day, because I was in some student council meetings which took a lot of time.
I was expecting to receive a hug from you the moment I arrived. But instead... instead, I was stabbed by the sight of you making out with Agathe.
It wasn't my fault Karen. I arrived at the place where you asked us to meet ten minutes early, and Agathe was there. I don't know what she was doing there, but she was there.
She started blurting out different words, saying she has been thinking about me since our kiss at her party. And then suddenly, before I could process anything that was happening, she threw her lips on mine.
I was already hurting, and you only worsened what I was going through Cole. I opened my mouth to talk, but couldn't make out any word.
Agathe rolled her eyes at me and left. I am pretty sure she knew we were dating.
You walked over to me, your eyes, staying away from mine as much as possible. I finally got the energy to speak.
"You saw my message?" I muttered.
You nod yes. "I'm really sorry Karen, I don't know how that happened..."
"Cole," I chipped. "We leave next week. But I can try to convince my dad to let me stay. He likes you already," I said.
Still avoiding my eyes, you spoke. "I'm really sorry Karen," you apologized again. "I swear I had not the smallest feeling for Agathe..."
"Please stop apologizing Cole," I said with a tearing voice.
"I... I don't think you should stay away from your parents because of me. I..."
And then I walked away.
Karen.
I kept glancing back, thinking, no, hoping that you were going to call me back. You didn't Cole. You broke my heart.
I waited, day after day, night after night. You neither called nor texted. It was as if my whole world was crushed. And I was close to giving up on life completely.
I was hurting too Karen. But I didn't want to keep you away from your parents.
Cole Anderson, what I wanted wasn't for you to apologize for what happened with Agathe. Though it was painful seeing you with her, it didn't bother me much. What I wanted was to hear you ask me to stay. Tell me not to go. I had already compelled my parents, and they agreed to let me stay here while they go to England alone. But you didn't. You kept apologizing. And said I shouldn't stay. I thought you liked, no... I thought you love me?
But despite all that Cole, no matter where you are,
I'll still love you.
This is just a snippet of the things I love about you
Teary, Karen.
Everywhere is quiet, I am completely lost. I can barely even hear my thoughts. I closed the book and slipped it into my drawer. I dug my hand into my hair. All this while, all this while I had thought she left because she saw me making out with Agathe.
But all I wanted was for her to be happy with her parents... I was her source of happiness. God, I'm so stupid. I should have told her to do what makes her happy. I should have at least stopped her and talked to her. She probably thinks I have moved on now.
I opened the drawer again and stared at the book. My head felt heavy, and my vision was a little blurry. I'm really stupid.
I picked up my phone and scrolled down to her contact info. My thumb lingered over the call button. I exhaled deeply.
***
I walked downstairs to the kitchen where mom, dad, and Abigail were seated. I sat next to mom and dig into my plate. They were all silent, no one said a word. Just the sound of utensils slapping each other.
It stayed that way for a while until I spoke. "So dad," I said, and they all raised their heads to look at me.
"I... sat down, and thought about it for a while. And, I think I'll continue my study in England. "
He was stoic for a few seconds before a smile slipped off his lips. He looked at mom and then at me.
"Really? You are sure this is what you want to do?" He probed.
I smiled, and nod yes. "I'm sure that is what I want."
"I want to be wherever she is. I'm not going to let this relationship end. No matter what!"
End of story.
