The following afternoon, Becky was working the rear drive through window. Business was slow, so she spent most of her shift washing stainless steel equipment in the deep sink. As her mind wandered back to the events from last night, Becky hoped she had been a help to Melody. Though she was used to not seeing Melody on Sunday’s, Becky missed her today. Looking at her watch, she assumed Melody was watching football with her father, an activity she had always envied. Becky thought to herself as the rinse water drained.
“Last night, Melody said she had to choose between me and God. If it’s such a difficult decision for her, she must love me. We’ve never been as close as we were last night. She practically bared her soul to me. So why didn’t she say it? Why couldn’t she tell me she loved me? Because it’s a sin? Ugh, that church and her mother have really messed her up. There should be a special church for gays only. Melody will want to go to church in Florida. One day she’s gonna want me to go with her. I’ll go, but I’m not taking anybody’s shit. If they won’t accept us, fuck’em.”
***
As soon as the final bell rang on Monday afternoon, Melody closed her Spanish textbook and quickly placed it in her bookbag. After standing up she turned to Becky. “Wish me luck.”
“Oh, Honey, you’ll be fine,” Becky said. “You went through a little slump is all. I’m sure Coach Heucke is looking forward to seeing you back to your old self.”
“Thanks,” Melody said. “You work tonight?”
“Hell no,” Becky laughed. “I worked all weekend. I don’t work until tomorrow. Hey, your first game is next Wednesday? I got to request that night off.”
Melody smiled.
“Hey, Melody,” Becky asked cautiously. “I’m not doing anything. Would you mind if I watched you at practice? I’ll just sit in the bleachers. I won’t bother anyone. I won’t be a distraction, will I?”
“No, not at all,” Melody said. “After practice, I’ll give you a ride home. C’mon! I gotta get going!”
In the locker room, Melody changed quickly. As she tied her sneakers, her face took on a look of determination. With nothing on her mind but securing her starting spot, Melody ran onto the court and began practice. Revitalized, Melody ran through her drills with a renewed sense of purpose. Hoping Coach Heucke was watching, Melody successfully blocked numerous volleyballs from crossing the net as the seniors tried to get them past her. Just as she jumped with raised hands to block a spike from Georgia Miller, the shrill sound of a whistle filled the air.
“Landers! Thompson! Mivshek!”
Upon hearing their names, Melody and Claire Thompson turned, and ran toward Coach Heucke. From the other side of the gym, Carrie Landers, the team captain, ran also and was standing next to Coach Heucke a moment after Claire and Melody came to a stop in front of her.
“Landers,” Coach Heucke ordered. “We got a week to get these two ready. Work with them on their serves.”
“Yes, Coach,” Carrie answered. Then turning to her teammates, she said, “C’mon, we got twenty minutes.”
Last season, Carrie had a jump serve known and feared by opposing teams. Now, as team captain, Carrie was determined to lead the Chieftains’ rebound after last year’s disappointment. Behind closed doors, Coach Heucke had told Carrie that both Melody and Claire had potential to be breakout players and intended to use them in heavy rotation throughout the season. While Claire had a dependable float serve, Melody had a knack for topspin serves. Now, it was Carrie’s responsibility to determine if either junior could master the art of the jump serve. As Coach Heucke observed, Carrie demonstrated her method. Then, both Melody and Claire attempted to mimic Carrie’s technique. Both girls repeatedly stood out of bounds, tossed the ball high into the air, ran, jumped, and struck the ball with their open palms. Melody found it a difficult maneuver and had poor accuracy. Sometimes the ball hit the net, other times it went out of bounds, and still other times, Melody’s timing was off, causing her to miss the ball completely.
“It’s not easy,” Carrie told them. “It took me years to get mine down. Keep at it and don’t give up. You will see it get consistent. The jump serve can really rack up the points, but not everyone can do it. From now on, you two are going to practice jump serves under my supervision at every practice. Hopefully more girls will be joining us soon. OK, let’s try again.”
When Coach Heucke blew the final whistle to end practice, Melody’s right shoulder was sore. She knew if she was going to be a star jump server like Carrie, she would have to increase her arm strength, jump higher, and work on her accuracy. Before taking a shower with her team, Melody spoke to Becky who had come down from the bleachers.
“You looked great out there!” Becky beamed.
“Thank you,” Melody said. “God, I want to play next week.”
“You will,” Becky assured her. “If Brigitte Nielsen doesn’t let you play, she can go suck her whistle.”
Melody laughed. “I’ll meet you at the car.”
***
The following Wednesday evening, in the Union High School gymnasium, Melody stood with the starting team as Coach Heucke spoke to them. Though she hung on her coach’s every word, Melody basked in the moment. In front of a cheering home crowd, she was proud to wear her uniform, a black, sleeveless jersey with an orange ‘19’ on the back and matching black shorts with an orange stripe on each side. After reviewing the signals and call signs, Coach Heucke left her team to meet with the opposing coach and referees.
Standing next to Claire, Melody scanned the bleachers, happy to see an impressive home crowd made up mostly of parents and Dowagiac female athletes. Knowing her mother was not comfortable in crowds, Melody looked further up the bleachers where there were less people. Finally spotting her, Melody waved with an exuberant smile. After her mother waved back, Melody looked for Becky. Unable to locate her, a look of concern crossed Melody’s face. Becky had promised to attend her game. Knowing Becky would never disappoint her on purpose, Melody became worried and instinctively suspected something had happened at her home.
“Melody!”
Whipping her head to the right, Melody saw Becky standing on the floor in front of the bleachers. In addition to her slashed jeans and Iron Maiden T-shirt, Becky wore her camera around her neck with the telephoto lens attached. Relieved, Melody resumed her smile and waved to Becky.
“Get it girl!” Becky hollered.
Minutes later, Melody was on the court with Claire and four seniors. Taking her position in the front row on the right side, Melody surveyed the top of the seven foot net. Directly behind her, Carrie Landers stood in the setter position with ball in hand, waiting to serve. Claire was in the opposite rear corner assuming the outside hitter position. Before the first match began, Melody observed the opposing Edwardsburg Eddies as they lined up. Though they were not the same girls as last year, Melody looked at their uniforms with contempt. As the home crowd cheered, Melody got hyped as the adrenaline began to flow. Just before the referee blew his whistle to begin the first set, Melody remembered the last thing Coach Heucke said. “This match is best three out of five. We’re winning tonight ladies, in three games.”
Carrie Landers tossed the ball in the air and jump served. After the ball rocketed over the net, clearing it by less than two inches, it dropped suddenly and hit the floor between two opposing players. The crowd cheered as the Chieftains scored their first ace of the season. The ball was returned to Carrie and she served again. This time, her serve was successfully bumped by a girl in the back row. The ball was then set up and launched back over the net towards Claire. With perfect execution, Claire bumped the ball to Gretchen Sheffield in the front left corner. Then, just as they had practiced hundreds of times, Gretchen called out ‘seven’ as she set up the ball laterally alongside the net. Positioned in the center front row, Megan Phillips acted as decoy and jumped with both arms extended high over her head. As soon as her teammate jumped, Melody sidestepped to her left, jumped, and smacked the volleyball soundly with her left hand. The ball came down on the other side of the net and hit the floor at the feet of a first-row defender. As the home crowd cheered again, Melody turned her head quickly to see Coach Heucke’s reaction. To her surprise, her coach was staring intensely at the Edwardsburg players without a hint of emotion. However, Melody was close enough to see her coach’s focused and calculating eyes as she measured up the Eddies.
Dowagiac won the first game 15-9. Before the second game began, both Melody and Claire were substituted out. After high fiving each other, they took their spot on the bench. As the second game began, Melody watched while sipping from a cup of orange Gatorade. Though she had wanted to keep playing, Melody accepted that other girls were just as eager to get in on the game. Looking to her left, Melody spotted Becky. She was down on one knee, holding her camera sideways as she looked through the viewer. Melody suddenly became interested in what Becky was doing as she moved to different locations, aimed her camera, and waited for the perfect shot. Smiling to herself, Melody was happy to see Becky doing the one thing she truly loved. The second game ended with an Edwardsburg victory, 15-11.
After Dowagiac won the third game 15-10, Melody was cheering enthusiastically along with the crowd. With one more win, the Chieftains would not only have their first victory of the season, but also their long-awaited revenge. Having played three sets in a row, Carrie Landers was now on the bench as Violet Baxter led the Chieftains on the court. The fourth game seemed evenly matched and after Edwardsburg scored, tying the game at seven, Coach Heucke blew her whistle and called time out.
Then, with authority, Coach Heucke ordered, “Eleven! Sixteen! Forty-two!” Upon hearing their numbers called, three players ran off the court. Then turning to the bench, Ingrid called out, “Three! Thirteen! Nineteen!”
Surprised to hear their numbers, both Claire and Melody rose from the bench and returned to the court along with a senior. They quickly took the positions that Violet directed them to as she received signals from Coach Heucke. While Melody took the back-center position, Claire assumed the front center, directly in front of her. Then, after the referee blew his whistle, ordering the game to resume, Edwardsburg served the ball. As the game ensued, Melody played hard, too determined to worry about making mistakes. On one play, when the ball came at her erratically after a haphazardly performed bump, Melody set it up perfectly for Claire who went for the kill and spiked the ball over the net, returning the serve to the Chieftains.
Finally, with game point on the line, Melody performed an adequate floating serve. After an Eddie in the rear right corner bumped it, the volleyball was set up for the Edwardsburg front line. As the ball came down close to the net, an Edwardsburg player timed it and jumped for the kill. Waiting on the other side, both Claire and Violet jumped with their arms up, to form a barrier. This resulted in the ball crashing down on the Edwardsburg side, sealing the match for the Chieftains.
Melody jumped in jubilation as the crowd rose to its feet and cheered. As the Chieftains huddled and congratulated each other, the losing coach crossed the floor to shake Coach Heucke’s hand. Following their coach’s example, the Eddies came to the net and shook the hands of the Chieftains. After exchanging empty yet polite pleasantries with the Edwardsburg players, Melody ran up to Claire.
“We did it!” Melody smiled. “You were great!”
“You were amazing, Melody!” Claire beamed, returning the compliment.
As the girls embraced happily, Becky called out Melody’s name as she approached. Turning her head, Melody saw Becky pointing her camera at them. Upon seeing this, Claire turned her body and put her arm around Melody’s shoulder as she posed with a thumbs up. After Becky took their picture, Melody hugged her and introduced Becky to her teammate. As the three girls talked excitedly, Barbara watched from her seat. Though she was proud of her daughter’s performance, she did not approve of Becky running onto the volleyball court clamoring for her daughter’s attention. Barbara frowned as she watched Becky closely.
***
By mid-October, not only had both Melody and Claire established themselves as solid, dependable players, they had become good friends. At every practice, they teamed up to work on their serves, and for road games, they always sat together on the bus. Coach Heucke, impressed with both of them, kept Melody and Claire on the court longer as they continued to improve. Because she had concentrated mainly on volleyball and her schoolwork, Melody’s sense of well-being improved as she worried less about her relationship with Becky. After she began sleeping better, Melody discovered she could again pay attention in class. Also, she was less emotional and dealt with her feelings better as she gradually embraced her sexuality. However, as Melody became more well-adjusted, it was Becky who began to falter.
Even though Becky saw and spoke with Melody every day, it was the closeness she missed. Despite her tough exterior, Becky was still a misunderstood, vulnerable girl. Things were not good at home, and without Melody’s support, it took a lot of effort for Becky to hide her depression. Though she had plenty of her own friends from lacrosse and the photography club, she had no one to talk seriously with. Knowing Melody was going through her own ordeal, Becky remained quiet and hoped Melody would accept herself soon so they could resume their relationship. For Becky, life was empty without Melody and she wanted her back. After another two weeks, Becky could no longer keep up her act.
***
On the last Friday of October, Melody was in her usual spot in the cafeteria, waiting for Becky. As Becky approached with her lunch tray, Melody sensed something was wrong. After Becky sat down, Melody tried to sound cheerful.
“Hi Becky!” Melody smiled.
“Hey,” Becky replied sullenly. Avoiding eye contact, Becky picked at her lunch.
“Becky, what’s wrong? You’ve been down all week. Is it your mom?”
Becky shrugged her shoulders.
“Becky? Becky, talk to me.”
“It’s nothing, Melody. I don’t want to bother you with it.”
“Hey,” Melody said with concern in her voice. “Since when do we not talk?”
“I don’t know,” Becky answered curtly. “I’ve lost track.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Melody asked. “What is it? Did I do something? Are you upset with me?”
“Melody,” Becky sighed. “It was my idea to give you time for yourself. We don’t have to bring up everything we talked about that night. We haven’t talked about us, because I haven’t brought it up. I still believe we did the right thing, but without you, I’m just… I’m missing the part of myself that means the most to me. I’m not OK, but I’m dealing with it.”
“Oh, Becky,” Melody said. “Honey, nothing has changed. I’m still a part of you. I miss you so much, but you were right. I’m getting better. I’ve used this time to grow up a little. You don’t want me back the way I was, do you? Crying and shaking all the time whenever things got serious? Do you want me to push you away again when we’re moments away from making love? I needed this time. I’m sorry I’ve been inattentive. That doesn’t mean anything has changed.”
Becky closed her eyes. “Melody, I just need to know one thing.”
“What is it?” Melody asked.
“Claire.”
“Claire?” Melody asked. “What about her?”
“I know I’m still your girlfriend, but who’s your best friend?” Becky asked.
“Becky!” Melody said taking her hand. “How can you ask such a thing? Every day I wear this charm around my neck. When Claire asked about the other half of the heart, I said Becky Valentine wears it! Have you forgotten everything we’ve gone through together? What we’re still going through? Becky… Becky?”
Melody’s mouth hung open at the sight of Becky’s tears. Becky quickly ducked her head and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. Melody sat quietly, unsure what to say. Thinking back to the night Becky cried in her bed, Melody wished she could sit next to her now and kiss her tears until they were gone.
“Becky?” Melody said softly. “What is it?
Becky looked up with reddened eyes. After staring at Melody for a moment, she said, “Talk to me about Claire.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you never talk about her. You spend so much time with her, but you never say anything. Just tell me what kind of a person she is.”
“Becky,” Melody said tenderly. “Claire is my teammate. We love volleyball, but it’s one of the very few things we have in common. She listens to rap music, plays video games, dates a guy named Josh that she’s gaga over, works at the thrift store, and has a life-size poster of Madonna hanging on the inside of her bedroom door.”
“You’ve been to her house?” Becky asked.
“I’ve been to her house a few times. I had dinner with her family once, but I’ve never spent the night. I invited her over a couple times to hang out, but that’s it. She’s completely straight, and even if she wasn’t, I would tell her I’m off-limits because I’m with you.”
“What do you guys talk about?” Becky asked.
“Stupid, irrelevant stuff,” Melody said. “When she’s not talking about volleyball or Josh, she talks about cooking. When I talk about going to Florida, she talks about going to Michigan State.”
Becky nodded. “I’m sorry, Melody. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ve just been so lonely. I’ve got my friends too, but it’s not the same. I miss…us.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Melody nodded. “Claire’s a nice girl and she can be fun, but to think she could take your place in any way is ridiculous.”
“I’m being stupid,” Becky said. “Great. Now I’m the one crying. When are we ever gonna get on the same page?”
“Would you object to taking a break from taking a break?” Melody asked. “It’s Halloween weekend. I can tell my folks I got invited to a Halloween party. Let’s go out on a date. Anything you like.”
Becky smiled. “Yeah, I’d love that. Let’s go to Decatur. We can go bowling.”
“Bowling?” Melody laughed.
“Yeah,” Becky said. “Let’s go bowling.”
“Since when are you interested in bowling?” Melody asked.
“Ever since I heard the back parking lot of the bowling alley is a make-out spot.”
“Yes,” Melody smiled. “Let’s go bowling.”
ns 18.68.41.140da2
