As soon as Melody had returned home and settled in, she called Becky, but there was no answer. She tried contacting her two more times before bed, but no one picked up the phone. Melody figured Becky was at work while her mom and stepfather were out. Melody closed her eyes with a smile on her face and happiness in her heart. She had missed Becky terribly and could not wait to finally see her tomorrow at school. Before dozing off, Melody tried to imagine the look on Becky’s face after receiving all her gifts.
After a two week break, Monday morning seemed unusually long, but the lunch bell finally rang. Melody leapt from her seat and rushed to the cafeteria. She went to their usual table, but there was no sign of Becky. Melody began eating but kept her eyes in motion, watching for her. When Becky did not show up for lunch, concern settled in. Melody wondered if she was sick in bed. This was certainly the time of year for the flu to spread. But if she was sick at home, why didn’t she answer the phone last night? Melody was still deep in thought as she walked to her next class. After taking her seat in chemistry, Melody sighed, wondering if she would see Becky in Spanish class.
As Melody feared, the afternoon classes dragged by. She was sure there was a reasonable explanation, but she was still worried as Becky occupied her every thought. She doodled in class, drawing hearts and writing Becky’s name. Just as Melody thought anxiety would overtake her, the bell rang, and she hurried out of auto-mechanics. With great earnest, she walked through the hallways, cutting through the crowd, trying to get to the Spanish classroom as quickly as possible. When Melody arrived, she immediately saw someone else sitting in Becky’s seat. Bewildered, she sat down just as the bell rang. Melody quickly scanned the classroom, and saw Becky sitting in the front row. All through class, Melody stared at the back of her head, but Becky never once turned around. She was wearing a white, long-sleeve, turtleneck sweater, something she had never worn before. It certainly wasn’t her style. Melody wondered if it had been a Christmas gift. After waiting all day to see Becky, now she had to wait until class was over to finally speak with her. After what seemed another eternity, the dismissal bell rang.
“Becky!” Melody called out as she walked to the front of the classroom. “Where were you during lunch? Why are you sitting up here?”
Becky turned around slowly, knowing she would have questions to answer. “I think I need my eyes checked. I can’t see the board. I asked to sit up front.”
“What about lunch? Where were you?”
“I went to the nurse’s office to lie down. I had a splitting headache,” Becky explained while trying to avoid eye contact.
“I missed you so much,” Melody said, raising her arms to hug her.
Becky backed away quickly. “Not now, Melody.”
Melody could not have been more astonished. “Becky, what is it? What’s wrong?”
Still avoiding eye contact, Becky said, “I’m just not feeling myself today.”
“Are you working today? I can drive you, it’s cold out.”
Becky shook her head. “No. I’m off today. I worked all weekend. I’ll see you later, OK?” She then walked past Melody and exited the classroom without another word. Melody stared blankly for a moment while replaying in her head what had just transpired between them. She could never have imagined the day ending anything like this. As Melody walked out of the classroom with her head hung low, she wondered if it was her imagination, or if Becky was really missing some of her teeth.
The next day at school was almost a replay of Monday. Melody sat and waited for Becky at lunch, but she never came. After Spanish class, Becky blew off Melody again and left the classroom as quickly as possible. Again, she had worn the white sweater. On Wednesday, Melody searched for Becky during lunch period, but was unable to find her. She finally gave up and used her last five minutes to eat her lunch in the hallway. Melody searched for her again during Thursday and Friday lunch periods, but no Becky. After Spanish class on Friday afternoon, Melody approached Becky again.
“Becky, we work the same shift tonight. I’ll give you a ride, meet me at the car.”
Becky walked past her, without as much as a look her way. “I already got a ride.”
“With who?” Melody asked as Becky’s back was still turned to her.
Becky turned around angrily. “Get off my back, Melody! Leave me alone!”
Melody was stunned. She stood motionless, unable to utter a word as Becky charged out the door. This had been a very strange week. Something was obviously wrong with Becky, but what could cause her to be so evasive and angry? Melody left the classroom and headed towards her car, still wondering who Becky had gotten a ride with.
***
During their weekend shifts at McDonald’s, Becky ignored Melody as much as possible and asked anyone but her for rides. Melody noticed that even though it was warm in McDonald’s, Becky wore a long sleeve sweatshirt under her uniform. Becky purposely took her breaks at odd times in order to avoid Melody altogether. No matter how many times Melody tried to get her attention, Becky shunned her coldly.
As if Melody was not confused enough, the next week was even more mysterious. Becky never showed up for school at all. She had also been taken off the McDonald’s schedule for the entire week. Volunteers, including Melody, worked her shifts for the extra money. When Melody asked Henry whether or not Becky had quit, he answered that she did not quit, but had asked for the week off due to an emergency. By this time, Melody had given up trying to call Becky. No one ever picked up. Melody found it odd that with three people in the house, no one would answer the phone.
On Monday, Melody took different routes to her classes, hoping she would see Becky. When she did see her in the hallway between second and third period, she ran over to her. “Becky, where were you last week? Why don’t you ever answer the phone? Why don’t you call me?”
Becky immediately spun on her heels and walked away quickly without answering. Melody followed and put her hand on her shoulder. Becky turned around angrily. “Get your goddamn hand off me! Don’t you ever touch me again!” she growled. Melody was positive now; Becky was missing at least three teeth.
“Becky, what is going on? What happened to your teeth and why are you wearing that sweater every day?” Melody pleaded.
“Get lost, Melody. Mind your own fucking business!”
Without giving her a chance to reply, Becky resumed her course, blended into the crowd, and disappeared. Melody stood dumbfounded in the hallway, feeling as if she had just been punched in the stomach. As students hurried past her on their way to class, Melody’s legs remained frozen. Nothing about Becky had made sense ever since school started. It was as if aliens had captured the real Becky and replaced her with an evil replica. Melody was hurt and upset after this last encounter, but she still loved Becky and needed an explanation. She just had to figure out a way to get it.
***
Melody ignored Becky for the rest of the week to give her a taste of her own medicine, but she doubted Becky even noticed. Melody did not talk to Becky in Spanish class and gave her an equally cold shoulder at McDonald’s. Becky still refused to ask her for a ride, never called her, and had not once asked for any tutoring. On the surface, it appeared as if the years between them had never existed, but for Melody, it was only an act. Her heart was breaking. She stared at the back of Becky’s head all through Spanish class and looked at her whenever she could while they were at work. If Becky had found someone she liked better, it was a well-kept secret. From time to time, Melody would think of Becky with another girl, and her veins turned to ice. She had to know the truth; it had been almost three weeks now. Melody came up with a plan to make Becky talk, but it would have to wait until after work Friday night. She had seen the schedule and they both had the same shift, five to midnight.
On Friday, Melody showed up at work as usual and punched in ten minutes early. Becky had been at school, so she figured there was a good chance of her working tonight. As Melody worked the drive-through window cash register, she saw Becky entering the stockroom. She appeared again momentarily with a stack of large cups and brought them up front. Melody looked out the window as she took orders. It was cold outside, and the sky was threatening either snow or freezing rain.
Around 11:30, Melody told her manager she was going to start her car in order for it to warm up. Before going outside, she hurried into the breakroom and found the locker containing Becky’s purse. Melody replaced it with the note she had written.
Becky,
Your purse is in my car. I’ll be waiting.
Melody
Melody then ran out to her car, started it, and left Becky’s purse on the front seat. After resuming her work, Melody went over everything she wanted to say. Finally, she clocked out after cleaning the sink area and returned to her car. Melody sat nervously, staring at the steering wheel. She second guessed herself, wondering now if she should just leave Becky alone and not provoke her further. On the other hand, Becky’s silence was driving her crazy. Melody finally told herself she would rather have her heart cut out by the cold, honest truth, than speculate endlessly. She wedged Becky’s purse against the car door with her left thigh and waited with closed eyes.
After what seemed too long of a wait, she heard the front passenger door open. Melody sensed through closed eyelids that the dome light had come on. After hearing the door shut, she opened her eyes after the light went off. Melody did not turn her head but kept her eyes forward. She wanted to talk to Becky but was afraid to look at her.
“Well?” Becky asked impatiently.
“I just want to know why you are treating me like this,” Melody began. “If you don’t love me anymore, just tell me. You don’t have to treat me like garbage. I just want the truth.”
“There’s nothing you need to know,” Becky replied. “It’s over. Move on.”
“We’ve known each other since eighth grade. I’m your girlfriend, and that’s the best you can do?”
“Give me my purse and take me home,” Becky stated flatly.
Melody turned quickly to face her. She reached down into her shirt, pulled out her half-heart charm, and held it up for Becky to see. “Remember this?” she asked. “We were supposed to be in this together. You said you’d never break up with me. Tell me what is going on or I will rip this off, throw it out the window, and never wear it again!”
Becky looked at her like an experienced mother facing down a toddler about to throw a tantrum. “No, you won’t.”
“I’ll do it, Becky,” Melody threatened.
“No, you won’t.”
The girls locked eyes as Melody tried to harden hers. Becky’s face was half hidden in shadow, making her look sinister. Becky stared at Melody with an air of superiority, knowing she had the upper hand. Melody finally backed down; her bluff had been called. Defeated, she turned away and tucked the charm back inside her shirt.
“Can I go home now?” Becky asked.
“No,” Melody answered. “I just want a reason. Tell me why you are doing this, and I promise I will never bother you again.”
“Doing what?” Becky asked with annoyance in her voice.
“You won’t talk to me!” Melody snapped. “You won’t even look at me. You won’t let me touch you. You won’t answer the phone. Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong or did you find someone better? I need to know! I love you, Becky! Why are you so angry? Why do you-”
“I’m pregnant!” Becky shouted.
Those were the last two words Melody ever expected to hear. She thought she had prepared herself for anything, but this was beyond even the most outlandish thing she could have imagined. Melody faced forward again and leaned back against her seat. Her eyes grew blurry as her breathing lost its rhythm. Melody immediately wrapped her arms around herself and clenched her teeth to keep from shaking. This was no time to fall apart. However, she felt too many emotions at once, anger, jealousy, love, disappointment, and confusion. Though she tried to hold it in, Melody was only human. She suddenly erupted.
“How could you?” Melody screamed as her tears blinded her. “I’m gone for two weeks and you cheat on me, get pregnant, and treat me like shit?” Melody almost told Becky she was no better than her mother but bit her tongue. Even as the rage continued to build within her, there was still a voice of reason whispering in her ear. Instead of lashing out, Melody put her forehead down on the steering wheel and cried. Becky sat in silence.
Melody wanted to scream. She wanted to hit Becky. She wanted to cover her face with kisses. She wanted to throw her out of the car, but all she could do was cry. Her sobbing grew worse before the initial shock wore off, and though she fought it, Melody began shaking violently. As she cried, Melody wondered what the point was. Why had they gone through so much together, only to have it end now, like this? With a broken heart, shattered like glass, Melody finally asked, “Does your mother know?”
“My mother is gone.”
“What do you mean she’s gone?” Melody asked as she wiped her eyes.
“Right before Christmas, my mom and Walt had a huge fight. They were yelling and screaming and breaking stuff. I don’t even know what it was about. Later on, after Walt passed out, Mom packed her stuff in her car and left sometime in the middle of the night. She never even said goodbye. She just left me with Walt.”
Melody’s anger disappeared as her compassionate nature took over. “Oh my God! Becky, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Who cares.”
“Becky, you know I care. I’ll always care about you, no matter what.”
Becky sat silently, refusing to answer.
“Becky,” Melody asked cautiously. “Who is the father?”
“You wouldn’t know him,” Becky answered. “I don’t even know his last name. While you were gone, I experimented to see what sex with a guy was like. I liked it, so I guess I like boys now. I haven’t told him yet.”
Melody knew instantly that Becky was trying to shock her with a hurtful lie. Her answer was too unbelievable, despite her recent behavior. Melody tried her best to stop crying, even though she never knew she could hurt this much. Melody was not going to allow herself to become an emotional wreck in front of Becky. She could do that alone in bed after she got home. Melody had to keep her head and get to the bottom of what was really going on. She looked over at Becky as she stared out the windshield with a blank expression. Melody studied her profile and uncomfortable mannerisms. There was no doubt she was lying, but Melody thought it best to play along for the time being. She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself.
“You sure you’re pregnant?” she asked.
“I took four home pregnancy tests. They all came up positive, so yeah,” Becky answered. Melody wanted eye contact, but knew Becky avoided it when facing any situation that made her ill at ease.
“What are you going to do?” Melody asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Let me help you.”
“What can you do?” Becky asked sarcastically.
“We work the same shift tomorrow, ten to six. Pack a weekend bag. I’ll pick you up for work tomorrow, and then you can come home with me. Spend the night. Sunday morning you can come to church with me. I’ll make an appointment to see the pastor with you.”
Becky turned to Melody with disbelief on her face. “Are you serious?” she asked. “How is a preacher going to help me?”
“Maybe he can’t help you, but he can point you in the right direction, put you in touch with people who can. I know quite a few people he has helped. Can’t you give him a chance?”
Becky faced forward again. “I don’t know.”
“What else can you do? Walt is not going to help you, you don’t know where your mother is, and it sounds like you barely know the father. Becky please, let me help you. We can talk tomorrow night after work… Please!”
Becky nodded. “OK.”
Melody was unsure if Becky was really willing to let her help or if she was just agreeing so she could go home. She decided not to push the subject any further and put the car into reverse. After exiting the parking lot, Melody tossed Becky’s purse into her lap. The girls remained silent. Melody just wanted to go home, get into bed, and cry all night. She discovered she could not turn off her love for Becky like a light switch. Her feelings for her had grown so strong over the years that Becky had truly become a part of her. If it was truly over, Melody had no idea how she could go on without her. How could she handle seeing her day after day? Emotionally exhausted, Melody pulled up to the curb in front of Becky’s house. Though Melody wanted to kiss her goodnight, she knew Becky would never allow it. Melody looked over at her as she exited the car.
“I’ll pick you up at quarter to ten. Goodnight, Becky.”
Becky did not look back as she got out, but before shutting the door, she said, “Goodbye, Melody.”
ns 15.158.61.23da2
