Holly came down the stairs and walked into the kitchen where Douglas and Barbara both sat with anxious faces, waiting for answers. Holly sat at the table and rubbed her forehead, unsure how to begin.
“Douglas, is there any more coffee?” Holly asked.
“I’ll make up some instant,” he said and began going about it.
Holly concentrated on a paper napkin she had begun folding and unfolding. Despite learning so much about Melody, Holly intended to keep her promise and only say what was necessary. Fully aware she was about to walk a fine line; Holly knew to watch her step. From across the table, Barbara frowned at her. With her arms crossed and eyes filled with mistrust, Barbara was a picture of unquestioned authority with no intention of being pleasant. The continued silence was fertile ground for the tension to grow between them. Holly now wondered if Barbara had originally objected to her visit.
Barbara had certainly not been pleased to see her daughter reach out to her aunt in such an unabashed display of grief. Staring at her sister-in-law, Barbara sized her up, still at a loss to understand why she needed to compete with this woman for Melody’s affections. Unable to remain silent another moment, Barbara broke the silence.
“Is Melody a homosexual?” she asked. The word was so vulgar to her that she spit it out as if it were poison.
“Yes,” Holly answered.
“I can’t believe this. What did that Becky do to her?” Barbara demanded.
“Becky didn’t do anything, Barbara. They fell in love. It’s as simple as that. After they accepted their feelings, themselves, and each other, it just happened. There is no explanation.”
“Love?” Barbara scoffed. “It was an abomination! How dare you try to legitimize their actions with that word.”
“Whether you agree or not, Melody loved Becky the same way I love Frank and you love Douglas,” Holly argued.
“Ridiculous!” Barbara snapped. “Homosexuality is a disgusting sin. A woman cannot love another woman in the same way she would otherwise love a man. It’s impossible! Becky was a sick girl with a diseased mind, I think we can all agree to that. Melody gave into temptation during a time when her faith was weak. That is what happened.”
“I am not here to debate you, Barbara,” Holly said, trying to remain calm. “Nor did I come here to start a holy war. I am only here to help Melody.”
“How are you helping?” Barbara asked. “By telling her unnatural pleasures of the flesh are acceptable in this day and age? That God blessed their despicable acts? Becky did not love Melody. She was a tool of the devil, sent to twist my daughter’s mind and lure her into a trap.”
“And you wonder why Melody never comes to you with her problems?” Holly retorted. “Are you even listening to yourself?”
Barbara’s face turned red. “I suppose you approve of her gallivanting around with a female behind our backs and then sneaking her into this house during our absence? What they did under this roof disgusts me. I can’t even stand the thought of it. Such a fool I was to let them sleep in the same room.”
“I do not condone any sixteen-year-old girl having sex, and she was wrong to exploit your trust, but what’s done is done. You need to stop dwelling on what happened in her room months ago and start worrying about what is going on up there right now!”
“What is going on?” Douglas asked as he put fresh cups of coffee on the table.
“She’s tearing herself apart Douglas, and she’s scared. She’s blaming herself for everything that happened to Becky.”
“That’s nonsense!” Barbara exclaimed. “How could she think such a thing? She wasn’t even here!”
“It’s not nonsense to her, Barbara. To Melody, this is all very real.”
“I raised my daughter to obey the Ten Commandments and to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. That is what’s real. She turned her back on God and that is the only thing she needs to be worried about. She’ll be fine as soon as she comes to her senses and returns to the flock. It is the fear of the Lord that will set her back on the narrow path.”
“Fear of the Lord?” Holly asked in astonishment. “Did you actually just say ‘fear of the Lord’? Your daughter lives in complete terror of the Lord. She sincerely believes that Becky’s death was only the beginning of some divine punishment. She burst into tears and fell to the floor claiming God will continue to punish her until she finally kills herself and goes to hell where she belongs!”
Barbara lost what little color she had in her face, even in her lips. “What?” she whispered.
“Melody has been meticulously planning her suicide down to the last detail. If I did not come here today to talk some sense into her, tomorrow would have been the last day you ever saw her alive. She’s alone, confused, and frightened. Now will you please treat this seriously?”
“What was she planning to do?” Douglas asked.
“That’s not important,” Holly sighed, “But she was serious. I know she was going to go through with it. She needs our support, or she will never get through this.” In spite of herself, tears formed in the corners of Holly’s eyes.
“Barbara,” Holly continued. “You are wrong about Becky. She was not a tool of the devil. She was just a lonely girl who needed love and acceptance. For Melody’s sake, can’t you show some pity for what that poor girl went through? Becky’s death broke Melody’s heart and she has no one to turn to. I am sure Melody no longer plans to kill herself, but we have to keep an eye on her. If you had to identify her body at a morgue, your attitude would be different. All you would want is your Melody back and you wouldn’t care about the sins that you are so convinced she committed.”
As if she had not heard a single word, Barbara spoke firmly. “Jesus is the answer. She needs to pray. If she repents, her heart will find its way back to salvation. She knows this. Why does she ignore everything she’s been taught?”
“She’s not ignoring it, Barbara. In fact, you taught her all too well,” Holly answered. “God sees every sin we commit. It’s not a game. Jesus knows if you are lying. To be forgiven you must be truly sorry and promise in your heart to never commit the sin again. Never ask for forgiveness unless you are sincere. Even an impure thought is a sin, and one day we will all be held accountable. That’s what you told Melody when she was five years old and she has never forgotten.”
Barbara sat in stunned silence as Holly continued.
“She can’t ask for forgiveness because in her heart she will never be sorry for being in love with Becky. That girl has more faith than anyone in this house, but it’s her distorted understanding that twisted her mind, not Becky. Melody believes all their loving thoughts, tender moments, and kisses were sins. Sins that can never be forgiven. It only gets worse. Melody convinced herself sex with Becky was the final straw that caused God’s wrath to rain down upon them. All those terrible things that happened to Becky was God’s punishment. After Becky’s death, Melody started dreaming about hell. She saw Becky there and believed she deserved the same fate. Finally, Melody judged herself, believing suicide was the will of God. Can’t you see what your religious views have done to her? Melody is a devout Christian, but she’s also a lesbian. Neither of you ever knew the constant pressure she was under!”
Melody’s parents sat in silence. Douglas bowed his head, knowing Holly was right. He should not have yelled and manhandled his daughter. It was the worst thing he could have done. This was not the first time Douglas felt guilty for being away from home so much, but now he winced as thoughts ran through his mind. He imagined himself rushing home after getting word Melody was missing, waiting by the phone, frantic with worry, and finally, seeing two uniformed policemen at his door, bearing news no parent should hear. The thought of burying his only child was too much for him. Douglas silently thanked God for Holly’s intervention.
Barbara, on the other hand, only became angrier. With a rage she could barely control, she blurted out, “You cannot alter God’s laws! Homosexuality is a sin that He will not tolerate. The truth will not change, not even for Melody.”
“Jesus taught tolerance because we are all sinners, even you,” Holly answered. “It is going to take Melody some time to get over Becky. It may be years before she is ready for another relationship, but one day, Melody is going to meet someone. Don’t let her go through this again. Let the girl fall in love without feelings of guilt and shame. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“The child is just confused right now,” Barbara replied, standing her ground. “Once this Becky business is finally behind her, she can move on and become normal again.”
“No,” Holly disagreed. “Lesbianism is not a disease you cure with a two week prescription. This is not a phase, Barbara. Melody is gay. There’s no way to sugarcoat it for you. If your family is to stay together, you must see Melody for who she is and accept her. Melody has no control over this. She can no longer fight or deny it. Can’t you see how fragile she is right now? If you reject her, you could lose her forever!”
Barbara had no reply. She could only sit in silence, refusing to believe this strange new reality she found herself in. Barbara tried to convince herself that this was all a mistake, that Melody was just being a rebellious teenager, trying to prove a point. Barbara shook her head; she was not ready for this. She wanted everything to be as it was, back to the time when she could simply ignore and deny the obvious signs. Staring into her coffee cup, Barbara began mumbling to herself.
“No…No… Melody is my sweet little girl with ribbons in her hair. She wears dresses and plays with her jump rope. She likes coloring books and helping me in the kitchen. My Melody is a good girl. She’s my sweet little girl who sits next to me in church.”
Holly slapped her palm on the top of the table to get Barbara’s attention.
“Through your eyes, Melody will always be your little girl, but upstairs, there is a young woman dealing with very adult situations that she was not prepared for. I cannot have children. I will never be a mother, but I love Melody, and I support her.”
“How is it you can see inside her?” Barbara shot back. “How did you get through to her so easily after she shut out the entire world? What is it about you she adores so much? How can you possibly understand her better than me? For years, I have tried to get as close to her as you are, only to fail miserably. I’m her mother! How did I become the bad guy?”
As Barbara trembled in anger, Douglas took her hand.
“Barbara, you are a wonderful mother,” Holly said with all sincerity. “You have raised a beautiful, loving daughter that is the envy of every mother she meets. Who could have possibly thought something like this could have happened? We are a family and we help each other. Right now, Melody is our concern and we all have a part in this. Just listen to her. Talk to her. Remind her how much you love her. She is almost grown and wants to go out into the world. You will not agree with every decision she makes, but don’t interfere or turn her away. Pray on it and ask Jesus to interfere. Melody has a big heart and she listens to it. You gave her a good foundation and her faith is strong. In the end, she will always do what’s right.”
Barbara nodded, but her Christian heart was turning dark. She could not say to this woman what she was truly thinking. Nothing in this world was more important than her Melody, and she did not need this California cocktail waitress to fly here, wave a magic wand, and fix it all in a day. Barbara was bitter. Holly had stopped Melody from carrying out her suicidal intentions, plans that she herself knew nothing about. Barbara felt pushed aside by Melody’s confidant, this woman, who was inexplicably revered in her daughter’s eyes. Barbara wished her brother had never met her.
Douglas raised his head. “Melody?”
Barbara turned to see her daughter standing by the edge of the table, silent as a mouse. She had showered, washed her hair, and changed her clothes for the first time in four days. Barbara gasped, seeing now the weight Melody had lost. Her loose fitting jeans were cinched with a belt. Melody’s figure had obviously suffered as her blouse hung loosely from her shoulders, but it was her face that startled Barbara the most. Her gorgeous cheeks had sunken in and her face was pale from lack of sun and exercise. Melody’s hair had been combed back to reveal the once beautiful eyes even her mother was sometimes envious of. Those ice-blue eyes that had once sparkled with an inner magic, were now dim and devoid of life. There was nothing behind them that Barbara could recognize as Melody.
“Melody, have you made up your mind?” Holly asked.
Melody stood silently without moving.
“Dear? What would you like to eat?”
“Philly cheese steak... onion rings... strawberry milkshake.”
“Oh, that sounds perfect. I’m having the same.” Holly turned to Douglas. “Where can we go for that?”
“There’s a truck stop about ten miles north of here on Fifty-One,” he answered. “Look for the Shell station with the diner. It will be on the left. Take the Aspen.”
***
For the first few miles, Melody remained silent as her aunt drove. Then she asked, “How did it go?”
“As well as could be expected,” Holly answered honestly. “They love you so much, Melody, and they want the best for you. Your mother is very set in her ways, but she understands you will be leading your own life very soon. Go easy on her, Melody. She’s had a very sheltered life. To her everything is black and white, there are no gray areas with her.”
“I know.”
“Your father did not say much, but he’s always been a man of few words anyway. Spend some time with him like you used to. Sit with him tomorrow afternoon and watch the game. You know he loves that.”
“How long will you be here?” Melody asked.
“As long as I’m needed.”
“What about Uncle Frank?”
“I am sure your uncle is off with his friends this weekend playing poker and smoking stinky cigars. He has a deployment to Portugal and Spain coming up and he’ll be gone for six months. I believe this will be his last one. I’d like to be back before he leaves, but if not, he has asked a young sailor to house sit until I return.”
“Thank you, Holly,” Melody said. “But get back before he leaves.”
“We’ll see,” she smiled. “He’s concerned about you too you know.”
“I have so much catching up to do at school, and I need to get another job. I don’t even know if I’m still on the volleyball team.”
“Melody, there are only twenty-four hours in a day so don’t try to get everything done at once. You were only out of it for two weeks. Once you get back into your rhythm, it’ll get easier.” Holly saw the truck stop diner Douglas had suggested and turned off the road into the parking lot.
“C’mon Honey, let’s eat.”
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