Life has a twisted way of giving and taking away.
That was the way with Harper.
Thirty-two and working two dead-end jobs just to try and pay off a debt she took to move across the state with her childhood sweetheart, Leon.
She was just a number at work. Spat on over the wrong sauce on a burger at her hospitality job, and then screamed at because she couldn't refund an item bought from another store at her retail job.
To them she was 307 and 56432. To her boyfriend, she wasn't even worth that.
She had been with this man for twelve years, even when he wasn't even a man yet.
He gave her dreams of motherhood and promises of the cliche picket-fenced house in a field of flowers. Twelve years and they were still using terms for each other that they had in high school. Harper wanted more and felt greedy for that.
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Even though they slept together, the bed always felt lonely. Eating felt like she was being judged while her boyfriend picked at every little thing.
What she was eating, how she ate, how slow she was going. Nothing was good enough for him; not since she dropped her life and moved in with him.
Her own parents told her she was welcome back anytime, like she was nothing more than a visitor in her own home. They were waiting for the day she would leave, and relished it when they could abuse her over messages for how she was isolating them now that she had abandoned them.
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Harper lived a dead life with a dead body.
She was exhausted all the time and absolutely hating her life. She cried to songs she once loved when she drove to work, and then again when she returned home. It was the only time she could let her emotions loose without having people trying to hand her sympathy or thinking she was seeking it.
Life gave her a new start in a new state, but then absolutely screwed her over by dumping her in an existence she felt like a husk in.
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It shouldn't have been a surprise when Harper found out Leon was cheating on her with someone new he found on his gaming chats.
Although Leon was the one who was throwing Harper away for a newer model, Harper was the one who had no choice but to turn a blind eye.
Leon had signed the house in his name. Harper didn't have parents to depend on and couldn't go crawling back to them and thier cruelty. She had no money and no car. Leon's home and vehicle was her only option above living on the streets.
Harper went to work, knowing at home Leon was straying further from her. She forced smiles and ran from one job to the other in the half hour she had given herself to make it possible. She needed to look like she had some shred of decency pulled together for the crowds of eyes passing judgment on her.
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Work took its toll on Harper; chipping at her slowly day by day, month by month.
When the pain happened, Harper ignored it. She had to focus on the paycheck rather than things that could be trying to steal it from her.
Gradually, the pain grew.
It gnawed every time she ate, and then twisted her gut whenever she tried to drown it in water. Then, it burned her bowels to the point that the water was more red than anything else.
The doctors said it was colon cancer. Then, they demanded thier payment for giving her such news like it wasn't tearing her apart.
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Leon took this as his excuse to finally be free from Harper. He told her to take her things and leave, despite the rain pouring onto thier home and flooding the road. He didn't want someone disgusting like her. He couldn't deal with cancer around him; like he wasn't huffing it into his own lungs every day.
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Everything Harper owned fit into one knotted garbage bag that was thrown into the back of the car barely keeping the rain out.
She didn't have anything of value. All of her clothes were either years old and falling apart, or her neatly pressed work clothes.
She didn't have anywhere to go. All she could think about was her shift tommorow and how she would find a shower to be ready for it.
Then, she took the car and left it all behind.
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Harper couldn't breathe through her tears as she drove further from the only place she had. The rain hammered the car, shoving it like it was punishing her too.
She sped on, letting her thoughts wonder to what she could do now. She couldn't turn to her bosses; they only saw her as expendable. She'd be replaced now that she was suffering and slow. If that happened, she really would have nothing to keep her from living out of her garbage bag.
Harper only had a half tank of fuel and no destination in mind. She would let the road lead her to somewhere close to work so she could put on her brave face and barely make it to that next paycheck.
Thirty-two and suffering with arse cancer.
Harper had to snort at how fucked she was.
Through it all, she was grateful she had the car to keep her sheltered from the storm. Leon wouldn't care she had taken it until the registration papers came in the mail. She had three months until that happened. She already knew when her time was going to expire and was trying to scrape together the hundreds of dollers she simply didn't have.
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Harper turned out of town and felt the reality of it all stab into her chest heaving behind the steering wheel.
Maybe she should have begged to stay. Promised to not be in Leon's way and keep her body to herself. At least then Harper wouldn't currently be trying to fight a storm determined on blinding her from the road.
Harper frowned at the thought and gripped the wheel tighter.
She wasn't that desperate. He had called her disgusting; the same person who said he'd travel to the ends of the earth for her. He threw her away so he could enjoy life again, like she should have been doing.
Twelve years. Twelve damn years, gone; wasted.
She'd let her body wait for him until it was too late. He simply didn't care that she was putting all her dreams on hold to work herself to the bone while trying to believe a spark was still there.
Harper sobbed for what could have been while she waited at the traffic lights. She wiped snot onto her sleeve, trying to breathe through her dribbling lips and whining breaths.
She could have had that baby she always wanted. A little girl.
Harper had already saved the name from her childhood she was going to give her; Daisy.
Leon had scoffed when he first heard it. He said it sounded like she was naming a cow rather than a human baby.
Harper held it close to her heart. To her, Daisy was a whimsical name that sparked joy and reminded her of peace. She wanted to run in a field of them with her little Daisy; giggling as they did.
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The car behind her blared Harper back to her miserable reality, and she quickly crossed the intersection so the impatient person behind could hold down thier horn as they passed, swearing silently to Harper who could barely see out her fogged windows.
The road ahead was drowned with water that they ploughed through to pour walls of brown muddiness everywhere.
Harper carefully followed, but hesitated when she saw how choked the causeways were.
Ducks with thier swarms of ducklings frolicked in the makeshift rivers either side of the road. Garbage floated on top, some clinging to the bending reeds.
Then was something else there too. A collapsed carboard box already swallowed by the water. There was a checkered blanket being tugged down stream, caressing dirty furred lumps strewn in the box.
Harper veered to the side of the road and made sure she wasn't about to risk her fresh clothes and warmth for someone's trash.
But, she knew what she saw.
Climbing out of the car and instantly being pelted with rain, Harper hugged herself while she sprinted around the warm car and towards the box.
As she approached it, her heart sank and fresh grief rolled over her.
Five puppies, barely with thier eyes opened, had been abandoned to die. With the sudden storm that rolled in, all of them had drowned in thier own box or had been tangled in the blanket Harper heaved from the water to lay the bodies onto.
There was one who had survived, crying and barely afloat inside the box threatening to collapse around it.
The little puppy yowled and blindly searched for warmth through eyes barely blinking open. It's fur was plastered down and it's shaking bones clearly visible.
Rushing it back to the car and holding it to the heat, Harper prayed through fresh tears for this little one to make it. She rubbed life into the body with her drenched jacket while letting the heater fog up the interior.
Instantly, she knew she loved this creature more than her own life. They were both survivors and needed each other. Harper didn't realise how desperate she was for the comforting company until she saw the life return to the puppy she quietly begged over.
She wasn't going to be alone out here in this storm. If she was going to face what life had to throw at her, then she was going to do it with something who actually wanted to be by her side.
The puppy warmed up and started to grow more desperate in its demands. With it straying further from the brink of death, Harper cradled the helpless creature, fished out a new jacket, and tucked it inside before swiping herself a little window into the fog and pulling back onto the road with a destination finally in mind.
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Daisy filled Harper with undying love and joy when she greedily suckled from the bottle of puppy formula Harper held.
With her tiny little body snuggled into the crook of Harper's arm, Harper never felt closer to being a mother.
She knew she'd do anything to make sure her everything stayed right there. Daisy was her baby she had been waiting all this time for.
With her wallet drained and her hopes renewed, Harper laid back in the seat with Daisy planted on her chest.
She couldn't keep living the way she was. With a young puppy needing constant doses of formula, Harper couldn't risk leaving Daisy for hours on end while she went to work, knowing her own reason for living had slowly starved to death waiting for her.
No. She was expendable. She was just a number to them. She would dissappear.
Harper smiled at the wild thought and laid her hand over the nuzzling puppy.
Anything had to be better than that. She had three months to take her adventures wherever she wanted until it would be too risky. Three months was more than enough time to live a life of wonderlust, seeing the sights Harper had only dreamed of.
And now she had someone to share it with.
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Harper didn't know life could be so freeing with her growing Daisy.
With no work tying her down, she could experience things that had been pushed aside for far too long. Once the last of her paycheck trickled dry, Harper claimed benefits and was amazed at how much more she was recieving a fortnight.
Harper could get her pain medication and iron tablets to keep her alive on days she felt most dead. She even fought her embarrassment to buy some disposable underwear to help easier with the constant bleeding now accompanied by spontaneous bladder failures.
Apart from the essentials, she could afford a new dress; the first she had bought in three years.
She cried when she slipped into it and admired her body without shame. Everything felt right with Daisy always there to lend an enthusiastic compliment or infectious smile.
With the fresh start, the first place on the list of adventures was a sunflower field that spread for kilometers in the bright afternoon light.
Daisy, barely higher than Harper's ankles, ran as fast as her little legs could carry her. She still stumbled and fell, wagging excitedly when Harper scooped down to pick her up, plant a kiss on her forehead, and let her go again.
They got lost in the flowers together, posed on the peeling furnature, and indulged in matching sunflower keychains; one for Harper's car keys and one for Daisy's coller.
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Harper made sure Daisy would be able to see everything the world had to offer.
By living off the cheapest noodles and remaining grounded at a campsite in the woods for four long weeks, Harper was able to save the money she needed to reregister the car into her own name for twelve months. Daisy thought it was all a fun game filled with new smells. She made the struggle bearable just by being there.
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After finally being free of the woods, the next adventure took them straight back into a winding dirt road surrounded by forestry. It spiraled and turned until it pulled out at a majestic waterfall speckled with awestruck people soaking in the serenity of it all.
Daisy was more than happy to dash for the water pooling below the waterfall and leap in to paddle excitedly. Her sunflower swung from her coller that fit her more snugly than before.
With her wet nose pressing against Harper's knee, Daisy was more than happy to play with the strangers giving her the attention she craved.
Harper felt like a proud mother gloating about her child's achievements. Daisy was thriving, and it flooded her with pride.
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A beach dyed by the sunset was one of the most beautiful sights they shared.
Eating icecream together while sitting on the hood of the car overlooking the lapping waves spilled with colour truly was a sight to behold.
Daisy was level with Harper's shoulders when they sat there. She had grown so much in the time they spent together. It was hard to imagine this was the same puppy that Harper once held in her hands perfectly.
With Harper distracted, Daisy leant over to lap at her icecream before being caught, quickly wolfing it down and running off to enjoy the spoils of victory.
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Travels on foreign roads took Harper and Daisy to towns frozen in times long forgotten, through vineyards with elaborate mazes, up mountains overlooking spanning towns, down into the darkest caves where glowworms lived, and onto steamtrains turning through areas untouched by civilisation.
Daisy was still as excited as when she was a puppy. Although she wasn't able to express it so enthusiastically anymore, Daisy still filled Harper with love and laughter anytime they arrived somewhere new.
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More adventurous sights had to be pushed aside for ones easier on Daisy's body.
When she started struggling to walk, Harper knew thier times of adventure together would have to become a bucket list.
She was still happy every time. Any time the car door opened and Daisy was lifted down, she still had a wide smile on her face and a sweeping wag of her tail ready to show her appreciation to Harper.
She couldn't keep up, but she still loved every sight she got to see with Harper until she couldn't see them anymore.
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Daisy's legs failed her long before her spirit would allow, and she stiffened in pain whenever she tried to walk.
Soon, it was just the two of them sharing a car seat and watching over a rolling daisy field from the car. Daisy couldn't see it, but Harper always explained what she saw to her smiling baby still peering out blankly.
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Harper knew what was coming and she hated herself for it.
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With Daisy clearly suffering, they took thier last trip together.
Daisy was treated to a foamy cup of milk she smeared all over her face. She got to lay in the sun and smell the seasalt passing by her twitching nose. She got scratches on her side, just how she liked it, and soaked up every moment of her speckled fur being brushed.
Then, they drove, for the last time, together.
Daisy had her head out the window the whole time while Harper held back tears. Seeing her so oblivious made her hopeful, but she knew this was fleeting and her poor Daisy would be suffering once more.
New sights and new smells made her so happy. Even the ones at the vets Harper carried her into.
A candle at the front desk was lit and Daisy got her own place on the steel table.
She smiled and her tail wagged the whole time. Harper held her paw to rub it, muffling her sobs against her other hand as she watched the needle pinch Daisy's neck.
There was a whimper, then nothing. Daisy turned to Harper as her heart shattered, and gently licked the hand comforting her. The sunflower on her coller rubbed on Harper's hand with each gentle gesture.
Daisy's head lowered slowly bit by bit, as if she were going to sleep, before her eyes closed for the last time to leave Harper crying in the back room for her baby to come back.
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