Blue
I don't want to fuck this up.
Just lying here on the ground—my arms pinned by Keegan, her perfect breasts almost touching my face—I'm so turned on I'm in danger of ruining this moment.
Jesus, get yourself under control. It's like I'm fourteen years old again.
I close my eyes, trying to slow the momentum.
"Blue?"
I open my eyes to Keegan's quizzical smile. Her eyes are hooded, her nostrils slightly flaring.
She wants me. And God knows, I want her.
"Keegan," I groan. My plan to take it slow with her doesn't seem to be working.
I sit up, easily breaking her grip.
Grabbing her face, I kiss her, maybe a little rougher than I should. Then I yank my shirt off and toss it too close to the fire.
"Goddamn it," I mutter, stretching my fingers toward the shirt. Keegan is still sitting in my lap. I do not want to dislodge her.
I manage to tug the shirt far enough from the fire to save it. Then I turn my attention back to the girl before me.
The crackling flames give her brown eyes a golden hue; a playful smile curves her lips. "You are so beautiful," I whisper, tracing the outline of her mouth.
Then I draw my finger slowly down her throat, kissing her chest as my hands cup her breasts. The one closest to the fire is warmer to the touch. My thumbs loop her nipples.
Keegan lets out a delicious moan. "God, Blue." She's got her head tilted back, her eyes closed.
The ends of her silky hair caress my hands as they curl over her shoulders and down her back. I take a deep breath, savoring the coconut fragrance of her shampoo combined with the smoky smell of the fire.
Keegan opens her eyes, then takes my face in her hands and gives me a long, deep kiss.
I come to my feet, bringing her with me. We stand there a moment, staring into each other's eyes.
I drop more kisses over her breasts as she moans again.
Then I unzip her pants and tug them down her legs, dropping to my knees as I lift her feet one at a time and toss her pants to the side.
I kiss her thighs, feeling drops from the waterfall on my lips.
Keegan moans and digs her hands into my hair.
Then I drag my fingers slowly along her calves and over her thighs, circling her clit with my thumb as I gently push into her with my index finger.
The sound she makes is almost more than I can stand.
"I want you so much, Keegan," I whisper. "I've wanted you since the moment I met you."
After a few more moments of pleasuring her, I step back a little and tug off my pants.
Keegan's smile gets wider as her gaze wanders down my body. My desire is obvious.
I've just opened my mouth to ask her, once more, if she's sure about this when she seizes my forearms and pulls me to the ground.
I stretch my body over hers, sighing at the luxurious sensation of our melded skin. Then I realized I've forgotten something.
"Shit," I spit out, scrambling awkwardly to my feet. "Sorry, I'll be right back."
Cursing myself for possibly spoiling the moment, I snatch my pants off the ground and reach into the pocket for the condom I'd stuck there this morning.
Keegan raises up on one elbow and lifts an eyebrow. "So...what happened to taking it slow, Blue?" she drawls sardonically. "Or do you always keep a condom in your pocket?"
I shrug and throw her a grin, then tear open the condom and turn away slightly while I slide it on. "Old Boy Scout training," I quip as I stretch out next to her again. "I'm always prepared."
We kiss for a few moments, and Keegan drags her fingers down my back.
I battle the urge to pull away. It's the same instinct I have every time someone touches my scars. It triggers memories and feelings I desperately want to stay away from.
I've had plenty of one-night stands since I got out of the Army. I've tolerated the touch long enough to get the job done and get out of there.
But I don't want it to be like that with Keegan. I want it to be much more than casual sex.
How can it be, though, if I can't be honest with her? If I can't tell her about the day that forever changed my life?
I grit my teeth, determined to focus only on this moment. I don't want to deal with anything else right now.
"No, no, no." It takes me a second to realize I've said those words out loud.
Keegan stops kissing me. "Blue?" She frowns. "Is something wrong?"
I shake my head vigorously and weave my hands into hers, clenching us together.
"Not a damn thing," I say as I push into her in one swift motion.
To hell with all my doubts.
Keegan gasps, and her nails dig into my back as I begin a slow, steady rocking inside her. She feels so good: warm and tight and all-encompassing.
She closes her eyes, mouth ajar. "Blue. God, Blue."
The soft noises she's making send prickles of electricity across my scalp. I could stay like this forever.
I kiss her again, my tongue exploring her mouth. Then I make my way around her face and down her throat.
I'm whispering her name over and over again and squeezing her hands in mine. I'm trying to take my time, trying to make sure she's right there with me.
But the feel of her nipples against my bare chest and the way she's moaning is driving me crazy. I can't hold out much longer.
Keegan's hands roam down my arms, over my back, around my ass. Every part of me is tingling and burning at the same time.
She closes her eyes as her thighs curl around me.
"Keegan," I growl, "look at me."
She opens her eyes; I can feel her breath on my cheek.
"I want to watch your eyes," I whisper. "I want to see everything you're feeling." I brush my mouth across hers. "Okay? Just don't take your eyes away from me."
She nods and then cries out as I thrust into her again and again.
Her eyelids flutter like she wants to close them. But she widens her eyes and focuses on me. Her gaze is blazing, full of contradictory things. I want to fall into whatever she's seeing. I want to drown in her arms.
"My God, Keegan," I gasp, never taking my eyes from hers. "You feel so good. Keegan, you feel so—"
I stiffen against her, and she matches my cries, grabbing my shoulders as I call out her name again and explode into pieces.
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