By late October, Melody believed she had her future planned out. Although it paled in comparison to the life she had wanted with Becky, Melody felt confident in the path she had chosen. She was also sure her parents would go along with it. As far as Melody could tell, her plan was sound, without holes or insurmountable obstacles. It was practical, realistic, and most importantly, would not cost her father a dime. Melody spent the weekend mentally preparing to present her plans at Sunday dinner. After watching the Lions play the Houston Oilers, Melody and her father entered the dining room just as Barbara placed a pot roast on the table. After grace and allowing her parents a few moments to begin their meal, Melody began her proposal.
“Mom, Dad,” Melody began. “I know what I’m doing after graduation. I just want to run it past you guys.”
“What do you have in mind, Sweetheart?” Douglas asked.
“First, I’d like to state my long-term goal,” Melody explained, trying to sound as mature as possible. “Then, I’ll explain how I plan to get there.”
“We’re all ears,” Douglas said with a smile as he scooped up a spoonful of mashed potatoes.
“On my thirtieth birthday, I plan to be living in a Florida beachfront condominium. I will own my own garage and have three diesel mechanics, a parts manager, a tow-truck driver, and a receptionist working for me.”
“Your own garage?” Barbara asked. “Where did you ever get such an idea?”
No sooner had Barbara asked her question, when both her daughter and husband darted their eyes toward one another. Douglas quickly looked down at his food with a slightly reddened face. Before Melody could answer, Barbara continued. “Douglas! You told our daughter to open a garage in Florida? What in the world?”
Turning to his wife, Douglas answered, “Barb, we’ve talked about a lot of different careers. I didn’t know this is the one she decided on. Let’s hear her out.”
Turning to Melody, Barbara continued. “After all these years, you are still hellbent on moving to Florida?”
“Mama,” Melody answered. “Becky and I had planned to drive to Florida the day we graduated. Yes, I still want to go. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Now that Becky is gone, I can’t go for at least six or seven years. I have it worked out, but I need to live here until I’m ready to go.”
“Tell us what you have in mind,” Douglas said with encouragement.
“All those packages that have been coming in for me are from technical and vocational schools,” Melody explained. “I have decided to attend the two year course at the Diesel Institute in Kalamazoo. This summer, I can sign up for the classes beginning in January. Until then, I can keep my job at the market, and work a second job. With Becky’s money, plus my savings, I already have enough to pay my tuition. If I work both jobs until December, I should have enough for a reasonably priced car.”
“Dear, what about college?” Barbara asked. “Wouldn’t you rather go to college?”
“Yes, Mama,” Melody answered. “I’ll go to community college and night school after I get my Michigan diesel mechanic certification. I can work in a garage and pay my way through school. It will take a little longer, but I’ll have a lot of work experience by the time I get my business degree.”
“Can’t you just get your business degree?” Douglas asked. “Why do you need to be a mechanic?”
“Daddy, diesel mechanics is a male dominated field. You know that. If I just go to college, I’ll have a degree, but no experience. I won’t know anything about the real world. I need wrench time to earn respect. While I’m working, I can observe how a real repair shop operates. I’ll ask the manager questions. I may need to manage a garage before I can get my loan and open my own.”
“Melody, why a mechanic?” Barbara asked. “Do you really want to roll around in oil puddles and bust your knuckles day after day? There must be something else that interests you.”
“Mama, I can’t make a living at volleyball or skateboarding. Engine repair is the only other thing I like. There will always be a demand for mechanics, and I’ll make enough money to do the things I enjoy.”
“I think you’re on the right track,” Douglas said. “But why are you so adamant on doing all this on your own? Don’t you think your mother and I want to help you?”
“You will be helping me, Daddy,” Melody answered. “While I’m at school, work, and college, I need to live here. I need to eat your food. While I’m attending the diesel institute, I’ll keep my job at the market, but will probably only make enough money for gas and car insurance.”
“He meant financially, Melody,” Barbara said. “Your father can help pay your college tuition.”
“No,” Melody said forcefully. Turning to her father, Melody continued. “Daddy, you work hard and have supported me all my life. I know we’re not rich. I am not going to let you go into debt and be straddled with student loan payments. Once I get my certification, I can pay for college myself. I won’t be going full time, so I’ll pay my way as I go. It’ll take longer, but at least when I graduate, we won’t have any debt.”
Barbara and Douglas looked at each other for a moment. Then, Barbara turned back to Melody. “I suppose Florida is nonnegotiable?”
“Mama, you know I’ve waited my whole life to go down there. I don’t want to spend the majority of my twenties in Michigan, but I have no choice. I’m going to Florida as soon as I have my degree. By the time I’m ready to go down there, I’ll have enough work experience to get my Florida certification.”
“It sounds like your mind is made up,” Douglas said.
“I can’t come up with anything better,” Melody sighed. “I can do it, Daddy. Mister Shaddock says I’m one of his best students. I know a diesel engine isn’t the same as an internal combustion, but I want to learn. I can start reading books to give myself a heads up on what I’m getting into.”
“What about volleyball?” Barbara asked suddenly. “I’m sure you’re eligible for a scholarship. You’re the best player on the team!”
“Oh, Mother.”
“I’m serious, Melody,” Barbara continued. “When I sit at your games, I listen to what people say about you. Everyone sings your praises when you’re on the court. Your coach must be able to get you a scholarship.”
Melody shook her head.
“What’s the matter?” Barbara asked.
“If I go straight to college after high school, it will be in state. No college in Florida is going to give me a full scholarship. I’m just a girl playing on a small town, high school team in the sticks. Coach Heucke said there would be scouts, but they’re all from Michigan. If I go to Michigan State with Claire, I’ll graduate, get an entry level job somewhere, and I’ll never get to Florida. I want to work my way through college so I can stand on my own two feet and go where I want after I graduate.”
“Melody, please,” Barbara said. “Think about what you’re saying. You plan to take night courses after working all day in a garage. When will you sleep? Dear, we don’t want you burning yourself out. We can help you attend Western Michigan. Later, you can get a nice place in Benton Harbor or South Haven if you want to live by the water.
“Mama, I have to go to Florida! I can’t explain, but I belong there! Becky believed in me. She wanted me to go! Please don’t make me live in Michigan!”
“Melody, what if Florida is not everything you expect it to be? You’ve never been there! You may get there and decide you don’t like it!”
“But I already know I don’t like Michigan!” Melody protested.
“OK, timeout,” Douglas said. “Let’s all cool our heads and finish dinner. We have plenty of time to discuss this. It’s only October, graduation is still a ways off.”
“Daddy, I thought you’d agree with me,” Melody sighed.
“Honey, I’m glad to hear you are thinking seriously about your future, and I’m proud of how determined you are. Just don’t commit to anything yet. Promise me you will keep an open mind and not set this idea in stone. Think of backup plans. It’s always good to have a backup plan or two.”
“Yes, Daddy,” Melody answered as she resumed eating.
***
Later that night, behind closed bedroom doors, Barbara wanted to continue the dinner conversation with her husband. Lying in bed, Barbara rolled over to face her husband in the dark.
“Douglas, did you tell her to be a mechanic?”
“No, of course not,” Douglas answered. “She asked if mechanics made good money, and I said yes. Melody and I have talked about lots of careers sitting in front of the TV. She’s asked me about working on cruise ships, being a flight attendant… She even suggested joining the Coast Guard.”
“Well, it sounds like she’s set her mind on being a mechanic.” Barbara sighed.
“Weren’t you listening, Barb?” Douglas asked. “She doesn’t want to be a mechanic. She wants to be a business owner. I have to agree with her. If she wants to run a truck repair shop, she’ll need to do her time in the trenches. Without that experience, she can’t talk to the mechanics, customers, or insurance companies as a business owner.”
“Douglas, in all your years of driving, have you ever seen a female mechanic at the truck stop service centers?”
“No, I haven’t,” Douglas admitted. “That doesn’t mean Melody can’t do it. She can hold her own.”
Barbara sighed. “All my life, I’ve known one thing. Melody is just like my nomadic brother. She’ll find her way out of Michigan one way or another. Why can’t she be happy here? I thought by now she would have outgrown her obsession with Florida, but she’s only become more committed. Do you realize once she gets to Florida we’ll probably never see her again? We’ll just get postcards in the mail like Frank used to send.”
Douglas nodded. “I know I’m only home on weekends, but I spend a lot of time thinking about Melody when I’m on the road. She’s her own person, Barb. She’s different, in a lot of ways, but we have to accept her for who she is. We also have to let her make her own decisions. If she stays in Michigan because of us, she’ll be miserable. I don’t want to see that.”
“It’s hard enough to accept she’s a lesbian,” Barbara admitted. “I’m still dealing with that as best I can. I want to be supportive, but above all, I want Melody to be happy too. It just breaks my heart to know that she will only be happy once she gets away from us!”
“She’s not going to disappear from our lives,” Douglas said. “And she does not want to get away from us. She’s just leaving the nest. Don’t you remember how your mother cried at our wedding? Even though she was happy for us, a part of her wanted you to stay on the farm forever. It’s time to start letting go, Barb.”
Barbara was quiet for a moment. Above all, Barbara loved being a mother and did not think she’d ever be ready for Melody to be an independent adult. For a moment, she wished she could turn back the hands of time and make Melody a little girl all over again. Then, she reflected on her own childhood. She had always loved her family’s farm, but it was an easy decision to leave after realizing she loved Douglas more. Barbara supposed it was the same with her own daughter. Melody loved them both, but her heart was leading her away. Like herself, so many years ago, Melody had no choice but to follow it. As hard as it was for Barbara to accept, she surrendered to her own voice of reason. Not only could she not hold on to Melody, it would be wrong for her to do so.
“Hey,” Douglas said, nudging her. “You OK?”
“Douglas, isn’t it time we told her?”
“No.”
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