Keegan
Only a couple of people—one man, one woman, several empty seats between them—are in the bus station when I yank open the door.
They don’t even look up, just keep staring at the dingy gray floor tiles.
I’ve never been in a bus station before.
For some reason, in the seconds I stand there blinking under the harsh fluorescent lights and trying to figure out what to do next, I think of Megz.
She told me once she’s never been on an airplane; she’d only ever taken buses. She seemed ashamed of that.
Stop thinking about that criminal bitch.
I step up to the ticket counter and wait for the middle-aged woman sitting behind safety glass to look up from the magazine she’s reading.
When she finally does, I find myself speechless. Whatever I planned to say has just skittered out of my brain like a cockroach suddenly exposed to the light.
“Yes?” Her tone’s so indifferent it makes me even more nervous.
“Um...I...”
The man and woman in the worn-looking vinyl chairs are now staring at me.
“I need a ticket. I think.” I close my eyes for a second. “Look—”
The lady behind the counter raises one bored eyebrow.
I take a breath and start speaking in a rush. “My boyfriend is on a bus to Fort Sill. At least I think he is. And I have to find him before he gets there. I have to talk to him. He left without telling me, and he’s going to do something that I know he’ll regret for the rest of his life. And...”
The attendant looks slightly less bored.
“I think he already left on a bus from here going to Fort Sill, and I need to catch up with him and get on the bus and talk to him before he gets to the base.”
I pause to take a breath. “So I guess I need a ticket?” I go on. “Or I need to know what to do. I mean, can you tell me if he’s on the bus? His name is Blue Daniels.”
I’m almost panting now, and I don’t know what else to say. The woman purses her lips and sighs, shaking her head, making her dangly reindeer earrings sway back and forth.
“I have a daughter your age,” she says. “You girls, you just don’t get it, do you? Chasing after these useless guys.”
My jaw clenches and I can feel my face tighten with irritation. Who does this lady think she is, judging Blue like that?
Seeing my reaction, her expression softens, and her voice follows suit. “Honey, they’re not worth it. Believe me.”
“This one is worth it,” My voice starts out scratchy, but then gets stronger, firmer. “He’s absolutely worth it.” My voice sounds stronger now, firmer.
Seriously, what business is it of hers?
I pull out a credit card and slide it under the glass. “Can I catch up to the bus somewhere?”
She shakes her head again, but picks up the card.
“I can’t tell you who is on that bus, honey,” she says. “All I can tell you is that there’s a bus that’s already left here about half an hour ago.”
Her eyes shift to the screen in front of her. “And that bus is going to make three more stops,” she goes on, “before it gets to the town nearest the base. So if someone were to drive straight to the town of Percy, that someone would probably beat the bus there. Then that person could get on the bus that’s going to Lawton. Where Fort Sill is.”
She pauses, waiting for me to say something. “So do you want a ticket from Percy to Lawton, or not?”
I swallow. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
A few minutes later, ticket in hand, I floor it as I steer my Nissan back on the highway toward the town of Percy, Oklahoma.
It seems to take forever to get there, but when I pull in to the Percy bus station, it’s only been an hour. The station is smaller and shabbier than the one in Hickory Flat.
I park under one of the few working lights and glance at the clock on the dashboard before getting out. It’s 9:10 p.m. My ticket says the bus is due to leave at nine thirty.
I walk into the station, remembering just as the door swooshes shut behind me to hit the Lock button on my key fob.
I haven’t considered what to do with my car if I’m taking a bus to Fort Sill. I haven’t considered a lot of things.
No one’s waiting inside the ticket office. Another woman, a bit younger than the first one, sits behind security glass, earbuds in, moving her head to whatever she’s listening to.
I finger the ticket in my coat pocket and feel my heart fluttering in my throat; my throat is dry. I need a bottle of water.
I have to feed a crumpled dollar bill three times into a nearby vending machine before a bottle drops into the bottom. I pull it out and unscrew the top, gulping half of the water down.
I go outside and look up the road, hoping to see the bus arriving. A guy in torn jeans, ragged boots and a hoodie is leaning against the wall a couple of feet away; he’s dragging on a cigarette.
His eyes crawl all over me. My heart starts beating faster. I’ve just decided to go back inside when the bus lumbers into view.
Pulling my ticket out of my pocket, I stand on the curb, bouncing up and down on my toes, not sure if I’m excited or terrified. Or both.
Creepy guy takes another drag and throws his butt on the ground, then smiles at me. The smile does not reach his eyes.
You sure as hell better be on that bus, Blue.
I choke on the exhaust that spews out of the bus as it comes to a stop in front of me. When the doors open, I hop on and then fumble in my purse when the driver asks for ID.
Creepy guy’s standing so close behind me that I can smell his breath. He’s definitely been drinking.
I steal a glance into the darkened bus as the driver processes my ticket. I don’t see Blue.
Clutching my purse against my side, I walk slowly down the darkened aisle. Not many people on the bus, and most of them seem to be sleeping.
“Want to sit together?” The guy is right behind me, his lips brushing my hair. He reeks of smoke and body odor.
I pull away from him, curling my lips in disgust. “My boyfriend is on this bus,” I snap, pretending to be way more fierce than I feel right now. “Back off.”
“Sure he is.”
I’m beginning to panic. I can feel it seeping in as each step brings me closer to the back.
And then I see Blue.
He’s only a couple of rows from the rear. He’s asleep, his head leaning against the window, the orange-tinted light from outside slanting across his face.
I stop next to his seat and turn to glare at the weirdo behind me, who makes a point of brushing against me as he slouches into a seat on the other side of the aisle.
I stand there a moment, staring at Blue. His face is drawn, and he looks exhausted, even in sleep. I study his profile, the faint stubble that runs all the way from his sideburns down to the soft part of his throat.
I want to cradle his face, kiss away the strain. I also want to scratch his eyes out for what he has put me through.
So many emotions have seared my spirit in the last few days. I am reeling from all of it. But anger is ranking at the top right now. Some part of me is pissed off. Really pissed off.
I’m still holding the bottle with about a quarter of the liquid in it.
I don’t choose what I do next. Not consciously, anyway. But a wave of rage surges through me, and my hand seems to act of its own accord.
I toss the water in Blue’s face.
~~~
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