Kwamé has been here for over two hours, and has barely said anything. That has given me more than enough time to openly stare at him - and he's damn good looking. His face is perfectly chiseled, his brows perfectly arched, and his grey, almond eyes perfectly set in his warm caramel coloured face.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9p2w3AzIs
He's made me soup, taken care of me, made sure that I'm alright - but he's procrastinating. A part of me knew he would, knew that he'd be reluctant to tell me. In a way, he's just as indecisive as I am. He just sits there looking at his glass in his hands, not wanting to address the very large elephants in the room.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4wLokfko9
"You know that you're going to have to talk to me sooner or later," I insist.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdCfHRfe2r
"How about later?" he suggests as he looks at the beautifully designed green carpet spread out across the living room floor. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ODjXEfWgs
"Kwamé."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOseA464HR
"What?" he asks.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6TtrefaPf
"Talk to me. Please."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rtLwg5HE3
He looks down and sighs heavily, his grey eyes glued to the floor. "I don't know what to say."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzD8zBSLsH
"Let's address the fact that I'm seeing you in human form for the first time," I suggest. At the moment, it is the more intriguing topic. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhObIE19kO
"Let's not talk about that. I only did it so that I could take care of you."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnInt9SJnsg
"Kwamé, this is big," I tell him, stating the obvious. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiM5k2AfJoK
"I know, and I hope it won't happen again. You need some friends."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEmU1cWfk2
"How did you know that I was sick?" I ask, changing the subject. I don't want to talk about my lack of friends right now. It's never bothered me before, so I don't know why it should now. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpaX7BmVBO
"I heard you sniffling and vomiting last night, and this morning, your breathing sounded off."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3T2fAK8unC
"Woah, wait- my breathing?" I ask, about an octave higher that my normal pitch. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqvAZB0nMe
"Yeah, I hear things better than humans."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Jhggx7hmR
"So you heard our conversation last night?"616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyMQ1FWHsr
"I could hear you talking, but I wasn't listening to the words. I wasn't paying attention. I wanted to give you privacy."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUwDj1iS3E
"How kind of you," I say, surprised by his behaviour. Then again, I don't really know him, do I? Where it me, I would probably eavesdrop. No, I would definitely eavesdrop. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUs5yKKrZvM
"Well, while I am inquisitive, I do have my limits."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZtOobAVIk
"Well, that's good to know."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7HAw8PaQ4
We sit in silence for a few moments, before he clears his throat.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZJR28ckJE
"So, I have a story for you."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvE3bV1Pej
Finally.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybInQLJCOv
I place the now empty soup bowl on the coffee table, and look at him, sitting in the chair opposite me. He mimics my actions with his glass. I wait for him to begin. For a moment, I don't think that he'll tell me. However, something in my eyes must encourage him, because I see it in his eyes the second that he makes his decision.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jcgcAXLJ0
He laughs without humour, and then exhales deeply.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NEzoBl00t
"I was born on Saturday, July 7, 1677, to a slave mother and a white, plantation owner father. My father decided to keep me as a member of the household - not quite a son - instead of as a slave. I guess he couldn't stand the idea of having a member of his bloodline working in a field or as a house slave. He treated me with ambivalence; for my whole life, he was, at best, merely tolerant of me. The only person who ever showed me true love was my mother. When I was nineteen, my father died. He had no close relatives, but rather than let his father's plantation go to the government, he left it to his bastard half-breed son. That is all he ever saw me as, anyway." He stops to take a deep breath before continuing his story. "I, however, was overcome with the power rush of actually owning something for once in my life. He wrote it in his will to ensure my freedom, so that no one would try to take advantage of me, force me into slavery. I mistook my father's actions for love, and I forsook those who did love me. My mother, brothers, my sister, and all the other slaves... I didn't abuse them, but I'd be lying if I said that the power didn't get to my head. The problem isn't with what I did, though... It's with what I didn't do. I didn't free them."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnNhdwfcyE
"So when you died...?" I ask, trailing off. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuUwD26TBU
"I died at age twenty six, a few days before my twenty seventh birthday. Pneumonia."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvKS3icaVI
"Your mother?" I push, although I can take a pretty good guess as to what happened. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofGiSsVzEd
"I didn't write a will, and I had no heirs, so when I died, she remained a slave, and the plantation went to the government. I could have helped her, helped them, helped all of them... but I was so damn selfish."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgBgzDUgTi
Damn. I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't that.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RkEZZ3vF4
"So, you see, I'm a monster," he tells me with a painful smile on his face. I can see the hurt and anger deep in his eyes. Anger directed inwards, at himself. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfuKIYnDSW
"No, you're not," I reassure him. "Formerly an asshole, maybe. But from what I've seen, you're not a monster."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEZbkC2K1V
"So why have I been damned to this for eternity?" Despise the obvious feelings that can be read on his face, his voice is monotonous, devoid of any emotion. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHk8X7pQKk
He has a good point.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5MzJpiHkx
"Maybe, it is you," I tell him. "Maybe, it's a result of the way that you saw yourself when you were dying. How did you feel? What did you feel?" I ask him.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiBLvFHapl
He looks into my eyes, and then looks down, biting his lip, before letting out a huge sigh.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG78oRS2OHv
"Regret. Regret and self-loathing. I hated myself for not loving my family while I was alive. I called for a lawyer to get my will in place, but when he arrived, I was too far gone."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQSbcqmGsh
Can you ever... move on?" I ask him.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnVDyPiKwK
He chuckles softly.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IHRKNrxj5
"No. I'm stuck like this forever."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPBSXixgB2
"If you can be human, why is it so bad?"616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVh7Fcm90j
"Because we always want to go back to being an animal. There's always that urge to be what you're meant to be- a murderous bull."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPmVpQv2eG
"Murderous?"616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpGK5SYnOy
"Yes. It makes you angry. Makes you want to kill, feed off of the fear of others, feel some kind of power and control when you've been powerless for so long." While he's talking, he stared into my eyes with great determination - trying to convince me that he is a monster.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUM42EE0fG
"Have you ever done that?"616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeT2ZKkcrwI
"Once. He was my enemy."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkogbM01kjx
"Oh."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKzA7wPQXR
I can tell that there's more to the story, but he leaves it at that, probably in an attempt to scare me.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocQNp991Xu
"I like you, Kwamé," I tell him. "And you don't scare me."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7kf9Q628y
"I should."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ERQ0i0WrY
"But you don't." Truthfully, I see no reason to fear him. He thinks he's worse than he really is. Consumed by guilt, he's become this person filled with self hatred and self loathing, convinced that he's an evil entity.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGficAWM3cb
I don't believe that that is true. He needs to give himself another chance.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQaswTQ5Ew
But if I am to tell him that... then I also need to be forgiving. I need to give my mother another chance.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhy6x6FuGv
"Tell you what - how about we both learn forgiveness? You try to forgive yourself, and I try to forgive my mother. Starting now."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcmTeiv2RQ
"You'll give her another chance?" he asks hopefully. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekjbWHbxrm
"If you do the same for yourself. I'll meet with her soon."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ349jnGw8N
Looking rather torn, he looks into my eyes as if searching deep into my soul for an alternative. When he finds none, he lets out a deep sigh.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BRHY4cbSW
"Fine. But I'm only doing this for your mother."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4V9lzoK9H
I show my gratitude with a large smile stretching from ear to ear. As I look at him sitting there, unsure as ever, I know that I won't regret this decision. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMweGvdfZqz
***616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvV7AZaNzU1
School has become one of the most boring, mundane things that I have ever experienced. Perhaps it's due to the supernatural that has filled my life in every other aspect. Still, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate in lab sessions, which is never a good thing. Today, though... today, I have a plan. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuXDMj7tly
After sneaking past a sleeping Kwamé laying on my couch - I didn't even know that he slept - I planned on going to do some research. The main library hosts an extensive collection of books, some of which must be on Jamaican folklore. I came up with this plan the last time I spoke to Kwamé, actually. I decided that I would try to find out as much as possible on the topic. However, as we all know, things don't always turn out the way we want. Or that's what I'm hearing now, since I've never had this problem before. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7hbngM4gk
"No ID, no entrance," the guard outside of the library says to me. The fact that I'm sick only makes me more irritable. I don't know if she can tell I that I'm seething, but she leans back in her seat, moving away from me. Of course, I would have to leave my ID at home today of all days. Of course.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczbDLrJt7o
"Look, I'll give you my ID number," I try to bargain, sniffling a few times. "620114-"616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7uTRNS3hQ
"No," she insists, "I need the actual ID."616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFZbEz0psA
So of course, my brilliant plan falls through.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuwVYzt3F7
Instead of having a library of books available to me, all I have is the internet. Which is still pretty good. Sitting on the library steps in my oversized sweater, I pull out my iPad and type in Rolling Calf in the search engine... only to find nothing, because unsurprisingly, the WiFi is being a bitch and a half. I grind my teeth so hard, it feels as if they could crush diamonds. Exhaling steadily, I agree with myself that I will continue my search once I get home.616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNf2M7TpitT
This seamed like a better idea in my head, because once I reach home, and into my room with Kwamé in the shower outside (not the en suite one) the only things that pop up are things that I already know. Some of it I suspect to be utter rubbish, for example, throwing things on the ground for a rolling calf to count, and then running away. I can hardly imagine Kwamé stopping to count rice grains while his "victim" escapes, or getting confused at an intersection*. In terms of the river mumma, I knew this already, except for one small detail:616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tpypSLGEx
During the times of slavery, sacrifices would be made to the river mumma during a drought, or when someone wanted to cross the river. The fish in that area would not be eaten, because they were thought to be her children. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07r7O6ynlB
Paraphrasing a bit, but that's basically what it says. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInZliPClaU
I was aware of the part where the fish were her children, but the rest sounds like utter bullcrap. Then again, isn't anything possible at this point in time? 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaPTQjqZ81
Duppies: been there, done that. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIxYn3b2HC
However, there's one thing there that I don't hear about every day, even though I know about it: Ol' Higue. Ol' Higue... I remember read a poem about her for my CSEC* Literature exam. The creature is an old witch who sheds her skin and takes the form of what some say to be an owl, and what others say to be a ball of light - personally, I think that owl is more plausible, but who the hell knows anymore - and preys on people in their sleep, especially babies. Kind of like a vampire. If salt is placed on her skin she will not be able to put it back on, which will make her vulnerable. If you throw rice on the ground - why are we so obsessed with rice? - she will have to count it. This was thought to be an explanation to grieving mothers for SIDS, but knowing what I know now, it's probably true. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6vtH8jsf7
But none of this helps me, since I already know most of it. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXFPpmEMZs
Sighing, I go to my bookshelf and pull out my "World of Poetry" book to look for clues. I sit and skim through the poems, some of which I was assigned. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCyoVdV96R
"Ol' Higue... 'Le loupgarou'..." I stop dead when I spot a poem that I've never read before. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboqUJMQhRU
My Mother's Sea Chanty. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdqJGOzOeI
It's a poem about a woman who's mother is a mermaid... in the sea. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrTqzhHFYO
With a huff of frustration, I slam the book closed. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bzmTT6ZLf
Deciding to take a different approach, I research Obeah spells, abandoning my quest to explain Kwamé for the time being. It is rather odd to be researching something that scares the crap out of you, just for the sake of understanding yourself. In a way, it kind of means that you're scared of yourself. Depressing, really. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DwK3p51YH
I come across an anti bad luck charm, something that I might need soon if I continue on this trajectory. It looks too simple, though, reminding me of a Harry Potter spell, like "Expecto Patronum". Still, I screenshot it, and continue my search. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjiSrF0TvW
It is then that I find something that is rather frightening. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wCVsWMKJn
I come across a website that offers obeah spells, and says that payment is not needed until results are seen. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5lki1ChUp
Now although I have always believed in obeah, I also know that many people who claim to perform "obeah" are scammers, preying on uneducated families with children who have mental illnesses or seizure disorders. It is a common misconception among many Jamaicans that seizures are caused by demon possession. But this... this is as real as it can possibly get. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50voqjEXSJ
Quickly, I exit the website, as if something is going to jump out the screen at me. I'm frightened, I can't deny it. If I did, my pulse rate and breathing would definitely give me away. But other than fear, there's something else... 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NhzVY8bhf
Excitement. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡislsYg265h
Oh dear God, Nya. You're in for a rough ride, aren't you?616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINv4ggQRjP
And for once, I completely agree with my inner voice, no indecisiveness, just acceptance. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAuj1wkbzj
***616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8XwSGhjxl
A/N616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHXDfSoen6
616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6saW2keFzd
I actually found a website that said that 😅616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpB47mZdb0
Also, the thing about an intersection: supposedly, if you go to an intersection, the rolling calf will get confused. They are also afraid of being beaten by a whip (some say specifically a tarred whip in the left hand). They supposedly carry a chain and / or a bell, so you can hear them approaching, but I didn't want Kwamé to have that. 616Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFDKC3NC06
*CSEC: Caribbean Secondary Examination Certificate.
ns 15.158.61.17da2
