By the time l leave my mother's house, it is dark. The only source of light is the moon, along with the occasional street light along a the sidewalk. It is so dark, that initially, I don't see Kwamé waiting for me outside.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06FDNUiarZ
I am both elated and disappointed to see Kwamé standing outside of my apartment; elated because he's there, and disappointed because he is a bull again. I guess I was hoping to see him as a human more than I realised. My emotions must show on my face, because when he sees me, he hangs his head, his pointy horns in full view.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUr4BVsr2Tr
"You must have known that this was coming, Nya," he grunts, raising his head again. When I look into his beady eyes, I can see what my mother was talking about — he wants to be my friend. He wants to have someone to trust, but he's just too damn stubborn to let anybody in.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAVloAiwML
"I can't say that I'm surprised," I mumble with a grin that feels painfully plastic on my face. Shaking my head, I move my mind out of the spiral of depression that it currently resides in, and plant a seed of optimism. "We still have to go to the children's home and read to them," I remind him ever so gently. He simply grunts in response, so I continue. "I mean, it's not as if you can go there as a bull."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnPZYTpjIV
As soon as the words leave my mouth, he looks up at me; the look he gives me says it all. It tells a story of a tortured soul, of untold pain, of a person who can't bear to exist with themselves, bet doesn't really have a choice — and I say "exist" because he isn't alive, not really. Who said that death brought peace? It's been over three hundred years, and he still hasn't found his. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZCmrf8zK4
That look... is the look of someone in fear.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZZtiNgvo0
"You have to come," I insist. For once, I don't have to ask what he's afraid of. He's scared that the children will see in him what he sees — a monster. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAf0irozl5V
"I can't be around children, Nya," he insists, shaking his head and grinding his hooves into the ground. "I've thought it over... and I can't." He actually sounds sad, as if he wanted to go. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTjubLNByf
"No one sees that, you know," I tell him assertively. He has to know that. He has to know that he's not what he thinks he is. "No one sees a monster." His eyes come up to meet mine again, and when they do, I can swear I see tears in them. Only for a second, though, because then they turn to fire. I jump back in fright.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vuR2o527x
"Tell me what you see," he insists.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VZjMUVVqH
"Stop it, you idiot!" I hiss, quickly scanning the area before looking back at him. "What if someone sees you?" 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtEhlPi5T6
"What will they see? A monster?" he snarls at me, stepping forward, and since he is so huge, his face is eye-level with mine. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgo5jbCTR7
He's hurting, and he wants to push me away. Even though I barely know him, I'm not heartless. I want to help him. I won't let him.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouvA3J3a4H
Sighing gently, I lean my forehead against his warm, fur-covered one. The moment our foreheads meet, the orange light from the fires in his eyes go out. Arguing with him is exhausting, and I hate it. In the silence I hear the crickets chirping, and the television playing in my neighbour's house, but it can't distract me; it is only background to the moment that I am sharing with him.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuGwPVXys5
"It's what's on the inside that counts," I tell him as I bring my hand to his face, rubbing his cheek. My heart splinters all over the floor when I realise that it's wet, that he's crying. I don't want to see him cry. Knowing the kind of person that he is, he probably doesn't want me to comfort him, probably doesn't think that he disserves it, so I'm at a complete loss as to what to do.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASXqevMmr1
"You're the only person who I've ever considered as a friend," I tell him. I decide to go with honesty. That can't hurt. Honesty is always best. "I must see something in you. You're really not as bad as you think."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrPC9j1EPw
"Don't," he sniffles. "Don't do that to me."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTHpbQqgix
"I'm being honest," I insist, pulling back to look him in the face. "I don't like people, but I like you."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8nYz4IHuo
In the darkness, I see him wrinkle his nose, sniffling a bit. Even on his inhuman face, I can see the pain in his expression. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeyPueheGD
"I should go," he mumbles, hanging his head again. I feel a pang of disappointment, as well as guilt, because I know that he's doing this because I pressed the issue; he's avoiding me.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYM5E49EXtl
"I'm sorry," I apologise quickly, hoping that it will change his mind, but I know that it's too late; he needs some space.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0ZXwkyGvP
"It's okay, you know," he assures me. I can see a tiny smile on his face. "You don't need to feel guilty. I just need some space. Please."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbR5PIyqJqW
I have to respect that. Even though I don't want him wallowing in his self-hatred, I understand his need to be alone.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFo30w1XZt
"I understand." My voice is depressingly hopeless. He looks at me with pity in his eyes. Even as he is in pain, he is pitying me. "Take as long as you need." My voice doesn't even sound believable to my own ears. I can't help it; apart from Silver, he's all I have.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCjOQkL44h
He just nods, but he looks as if he doesn't really want to leave. He slowly turns around, and walks away from me, reluctance in every step, his entire body hunched over. He looks so... broken. I feel so frustrated because I want to help. Strange for me, because I've never felt the desire to really help anyone before. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTySQRJNhK
After he walks off, I do not immediately go inside. I just stand there, as if waiting for him to come back. I want him to. I guess a part of me is hoping and waiting for that, although I know that he won't. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjf0x8r2Xv2
I could stand there all night — if it's not for the biting wind that hits me, whipping against my skin. Reluctantly, I go inside and close the door behind me.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMTWwiIrz8
***617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLqU1RjVdI
Two days have past since I last saw Kwamé. I think that part of the reason why he might be avoiding me, is because of the fact that he faces some uncomfortable topics when he is around me. Additionally, he probably thinks that I deserve better friends.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr31Agzqnrz
Utter rubbish.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQ4SEjs2uc
I've waited for him to come around, but I guess that I'm more impatient than I thought. That's probably why I've found myself here, outside of Akatua's door at two minutes past twelve, the heat causing my yellow cotton blouse to stick to my sweat covered skin. I only have to knock three times before I hear the telltale noises from inside the house, indicating that she is on her way.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EGMQh3dOs
"Nya," she greets with a smile, her flower themed sundress bellowing as a sudden gust of wind rushes into the house.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPHihBA9gL
"Have you seen Kwamé?" The desperation colours my voice. Usually I'm not this rude, and I've never been this desperate for anyone , but my pride is officially gone with the wind.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZT07ssmW3I
Her smile falls, giving me my answer — the answer that I don't want.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CvcoQkNWz
"No. I haven't seen him since the other night."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkIjP6nGJr
"Okay." My reply is that of a broken soul. My mood is now crushed, all hope gone, not that there was much to begin with. I turn to leave, but she stops me by calling my name.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAdpQqYyj5
"Yes?" I ask.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61F1uFjkq9
She bites her lip and fumbles with her fingers a little bit, looking at the floor. It's clear to me that she's uncomfortable. "I was actually going to come over to your house." She chuckles nervously, drawing patterns on the ground with her foot.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuvNaV9FPi
"And why would you do that?" My interest is piqued. She knows that I am hesitant in my relations with her, so whatever she was coming over to discuss with me could not have been trivial.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XCZZJOpJc
She rolls her shoulders, as if preparing herself for a big moment. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEPYiknssQ
"I was going to tell you the truth about why I left you in that orphanage."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX44GoLXJkH
I am completely flabbergasted. Whatever I was expecting... it definitely was not that. The strange thing, most peculiar about this situation, is that I've been waiting for this moment for so long, but now that it's here, I'm not quite so sure that I'm ready to hear the truth.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaipK60KGIk
"Come inside," she insists, stepping to the side to let me into the room.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3DbnenP1Y
I eye the interior with uncertainty and discomfort. Deep down, though, is the knowledge that this will have to happen at some point. With a certain degree of reluctance, my feet take me into the house.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hDKEyxbMu
***617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlT99cY9Ejn
We sit latitudinally across the rectangular, wooden table from each other, a cup of coffee between each of our hands. The caffeine has given me an extra zing of energy. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDRvjQrJU7
"I don't know where to start." Her words are barely audible, just above a whisper, but I hear them clearly.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq472igatPP
"From the beginning. Who was this River Mumma and what business did you have with her?"617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dd78iOqrZ
Her fingers tap a nervous beat on the side of her coffee cup. "It's a strange story, but please bear with me."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWC8KOWjmE
I nod in assertion.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf71u5Fvau2
"Okay." She released a nervous breath. "It was many, many years ago, when I made a deal with her," she begins. "Her name is Lu'lu, a descendant of the West African spirits, now known as Mami Wata. When the slaves came over, some of them came over too, but the island changed them, made them more vicious. The rivers here are smaller, more uncomfortable for them. Additionally, they had to watch the people they came to care about go through some horrible things. They became apathetic, even hateful, to cope with it.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0x9xKVX6Q
"This one girl, Lu'lu... we made a deal. I'd give up my first born child in exchange for her help. I agreed because, of course, I had no intention of having a child. Never wanted one. What she didn't tell me was that she intended to get that child whether or not I was willing." She gulps, and I know that whatever she tells me next won't be fun. "She had someone put a tonic in my drink... a tonic that would cause me to clone."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa56im9JIQ8
At first, I think that I'm hearing wrong, because she just told me that she cloned to form me. I'm her clone.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrdLDGi1ER
"What?" My tone is one of incredulity.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbng4ISPDtu
"I became pregnant with someone who was genetically identical to myself."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATbHoZr5Je
I try to think of something, anything to refute her argument. She can't be right. This has to be a joke.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGk7mBF3v00
"We don't look the same," I point out. "If you were my clone, we'd be identical. We look similar, but not identical."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCwhWB2D4c
She gazes to the side and places her coffee mug on the table, as if trying to think about how to express her thoughts. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKANhd9Eg4D
"One day, we will."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSdFyWMgq6
I take a long drink from my coffee. This is a lot to absorb, not just for myself, but for anyone. I'm past not believing things anymore; I accept that there are weird things out there. However, just because I'm capable of believing it doesn't mean that it's not overwhelming me.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg88RJ97tM3
"So when I found out that I was pregnant," she continues, "I tried to save you from a live of misery, of slavery. I tried to abort you." She whispers the last part, and I can tell that she's worried about offending me. I'm not offended, though. Were I in her position, I would have probably done the same thing. Scratch that, I would have definitely done the same thing.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcbutZ3Hhj
"But you... you wouldn't die." Her voice wavers slightly, and for a second, I think that she might cry. "I tried everything. The spells and tonics wouldn't work, and when I turned to other methods... I wouldn't die, either." She takes a deep breath, and I feel tears well up in my eyes. What is that I'm feeling? Guilt. How could I have ever judged her?617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNO6EyoHcG
"I was about to cut you out when Kwamé walked in on me. He'd heard me crying and came to check on me... convinced me not to... He told me that he'd help me to hide you. He told me that he knew that you'd be special." She smiled at me, and this time it's a real smile — bitter-sweet, but genuine. "And here we are."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdL3bPooC1
I can't help but smile back at her.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoP7XPuXUK
"Yes," I answer, setting the mug down on the table. "Here we are." I can finally do something that I wasn't able to do before: I can forgive her. I realise that I never really did.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2AoHjtsiK
My mind sorts through a lot of things. Of course, one of them is Kwamé. So Kwamé knew me before I was born? More importantly, he saved me from this Lu'lu? How could he think that he's a bad person? Kwamé aside, something else comes to me. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguN8RRSAca
"Tell me something," I begin, leaning forward, a small, but important detail that has been overlooked suddenly jumping out at me. "What was the deal that you made with this woman?"617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNAdJGVBzw
"Uh... It's kinda hard to explain." I raise one brow, and she sighs. "I was fighting a great evil at the time, and in order to do so, I had to make myself more... durable. She helped me."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZ8sRRjZ4Q
"How?"617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfb4WxgISK
"She let me drink her blood," she deadpans. 617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0c2TXXfbcL
Well, that leaves me speechless. I really need to mentally prepare myself for these things. Note to self: when Akatua starts to act oddly, or says something like "it's hard to explain", know that she's going to say some really weird, possibly gross shit.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCscXhSnhNC
"So..." I begin, not quite recovered from what she just said, "what does that do?"617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueZW9QjxfL
As nonchalantly as ever, she says, "it makes you immortal."617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXpe9t50n8
What?617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5j7G7dXt9b
"Huh?" I grunt, sounding like a cave woman.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhR3cJHYZ4Q
She picks up her mug and takes a slow sip from it. She then takes her time to put it back down. As if I'm not here. As if I'm not waiting for answers. Placing it down, and licking her lips, she clears her throat.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xudJM7joG
"I'm immortal, Nya," she tells me, staring determinedly at the space above my head. A long, deafening silence follows her statement — but not as deafening as her next words.617Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5GOf6nZeD
"And you are, too."
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