Growing up in Jamaica, every child is told Anansi stories: these amazing tales about a talking spider and his animal friends, usually containing some moral. Before, these stories seemed to serve only one purpose - educate children about the ways of the world in a palatable manner. However, after seeing a talking bull, is a talking spider really that far off? Growing up, I would hear stories of all kinds of wonderful monsters, beasts that lurk within the shadows. The Rolling Calf is one of the more popular ones, and everyone has heard duppy* stories, but then there are stories about Ol' Higue, the monster who sucks the life from babies; River Mumma, a mermaid-like creature, with her comb and golden table to lure victims to their death. If I saw a Rolling Calf, what stops all the others from being true? What's to say I won't discover a talking spider in the bathroom?665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKiOkks3DR
This is how I've spent the entire day, questioning everything. In my lab session today, I jumped back in fright when I saw a spider under my stool. I stared at it for a full 30 seconds before concluding that it is, in fact, a normal spider, and not Anansi. I was distracted for the entire day, and for the first time, I actually didn't know what to do; I ended up asking a classmate for help, which took him by surprise. He blinked at me, before answering. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREWNyZoALD
"Okay, so you pipette the acid into the beaker... and add a drop of phenolphthalein, and titrate the base drop wise-"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmIBA7gkP7
"I know that part." 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0JJUbJpoa
"- but the acid concentration is unknown, and the base concentration is stated here, so..." 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqW2frJM8b
It was actually a fairly simple lab, something that I'm sure I did in *upper six, something that I should have been able to grasp, but somehow was able to make me feel like an imbecile. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VDsWOL9T5
Yeah. So much fun. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliCLXG0vSi
I stopped at Sovereign on my way home, and picked up some *oxtail and rice and peas, which I had to fry plantain for once I got home. It was while soaking the food in BBQ sauce that I realised that I was about to eat the very thing that Kwamé is. Even though he isn't an actual bull, I still felt guilty - feel guilty - but not enough to stop me from eating it. I did spend a *thousand dollars on it, after all. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeiAWkKmX2
On the topic of Kwamé... I realise that my multitude of questions will not stop plaguing me, and that I should probably give asking him a second try. Be more insistent this time. Currently, I'm sucking the life out of an oxtail bone, trying to decide my next move. I'm sure he's somewhere outside, despite the fact that he was nowhere to be seen when I left home for school. On one hand, I'll get some answers. On the other hand, talking to a bull, real or not, can't be good for my sanity. In the end, curiosity wins, and I get up to wash my hands before going outside, the stones rough against my bare feet. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqSwjMUUYm
"Kwamé!" I whisper-yell before as I walk down the steps, not wanting to alert the other neighbours.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehbiDj9SE5
"Yes, darling?" I hear a familiar male voice asks, warmth wrapped in every syllable. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kPRmptrsr
For some reason, I didn't see him when I came home from school either, although I knew that he was there, just like this morning. Just then, something occurs to me. Why am I the only one in the complex to have seen Kwamé? 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRJcuLLfaB
"Are you invisible to other people? I mean, why is it that no one else sees a gigantic bull with fire balls for eyes walking about our complex?" I'm sure if anyone else noticed, thew would have called a pastor or an obeah man to cast him out. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU27Rtv6Yr6
"Because I've been careful. Haven't you noticed that the fire balls are gone?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpRrDwqV6j
Now that I look, and actually think about it, his eyes look normal, although if you look closely, you can see the humanity in his eyes. You'd never know that he's not an actual bull. The only outstanding thing is his size. How did I not notice that change? 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx48BHTmXhY
"Why were they fire balls in the first place?" I ask curiously. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHqfWyhaLN
"Whenever I feel any strong emotion, they naturally turn to fire, or at the very least, red." So both the legends of the rolling calf - the one with the red eyes and the one with the fire eyes - are real then. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteBR313kpJ
"What did you feel when you saw me?" I can't think of anything that would have caused him to react that way. "And when I looked through the window that time?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEz1dWrYgh
"Nothing," he tells me, and even as an animal, I can hear the smirk in his voice. "I was just screwing with you." I scowl at him. What an ass. He probably reads the words in my expression, or maybe he's just ready to shift the conversation, because he clears his throat, then gets serious. "Anyway, we're talking so low, to the point where no one can hear us," he points out. "So what they'll see is you talking to and playing with a bull. This is Jamaica; they probably think a farmer let his cattle loose and one ended up here. No one cares."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVT1MYNpI1
He has a point. I often times see loose cattle grazing on my way to school. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldb3PjBHwv
"I look mental, don't I," I say, my face turning a reddish hue once I realise how I look to the rest of the world. I'm talking to a cow. Even though it's less insane than talking to a rolling calf, it still makes me look ever so slightly touched in the head. "Just tell me how you know my name," I whisper under my breath, trying not to move my lips. Hopeless, I know, because even if no one sees me talking, they still see my hostile body language, showing that I am, in some way, trying to communicate with an oversized bull. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgWczWKm38
"I've thought things over," he responds. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyckBg2WD8r
"And?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6S2PS8e2E
"I will tell you some of what you want to know" he says, but I can clearly hear the "but" in his voice. "... if you tell me this: why did my mother name me Kwamé?" Why does he want me to figure that out? 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JOznvDNrX
"Give me a sec," I say, shamelessly pulling out my phone to look it up.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AZ3wnZB4e
"You don't get to do that."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTkGFOmPcm
"Well how the hell am I supposed to know?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kztqFOmY0
"Guess," he says. While I'm usually good at guessing and using my intuition, my game has been off lately. It showed in the lab. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnD7SrfACRb
"What month were you born?" I ask.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvfhlJft7E
"July. That's not it." Huh. We share the same birth month. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lCSHHfM51
"Can't we talk about this later?" I beg him. I think that my question is a much more pressing issue.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcwcmLv9wl
"No. Think."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTw6VoIhin
I exhale heavily in frustration, letting out some of my irritation so that I can think.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ721LrdW82t
"It sounds West African," I begin. "Probably Ashanti." I remember the name being mentioned at least once in a history lessen. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNi7PDM8uWP
"Yes," he responds, nodding. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVmomxSKlD
"And they name their children based on seasons."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOB21IproJd
"And?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SKghaNKH6
"Order of birth." 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCelJz3Mx5G
"And?" His voice has raised in pitch, letting me know that I'm close to the answer. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAO0b6zklZ
"...day of the week?" I guess hopefully. It's the only other thing that I can think of. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSMpcTwX9K
"Yes."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0umfHzcfex
"So your mother named you after a day of the week? The day you were born?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxV8LWNSHM
"Yup."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLheGkh8jy
"What day?" It's a question that comes rather naturally. I'm not trying to be overly inquisitive, but with the way the conversation has been going, it only seems natural that I find that out next. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQBLzvo3SM
"That's enough about me, isn't there something you wanted to know?" he asks expectantly.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEFnGlfc8i
"Yes, there is," I answer, getting back to my original quest. "Several things, actually. How do you know who I am? Do you have a purpose here? How long will you be here? Have you ever-"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Eai1O1KuS
"One at a time, Nya," he chides.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaq7qIAoDM
"Fine." I cross my arms and roll my eyes, much like a child. Strange how over the past day, my fear of him has pretty much disappeared. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Vvs5FEMau
"I'm here, because someone who loves you very much sent me." I almost snort. I've been living alone for the past 20 years of my life, and suddenly I have loved ones? 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd328IhQZKz
Hilarious. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sefLNTJgL
"I have no loved ones," I state, my voice holding no sadness, just certainly. I'm used to the idea of this. In a way, it kind of worries me that I don't mind it. It makes me question my humanity sometimes.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsfT1WZ8uh
"Oh, don't be so sure, darling," he says playfully.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfi1eYGyvV
"Who, then?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuC6kV9o7L
"Someone who you'd probability never imagine," he murmurs. Anyone could be someone I'd never imagine. So why say that? Is he trying to irritate me? 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeP0vch2Nxh
"Can you please just tell me who it is?" I shout, but quickly compose myself once I remember where I am. "I don't know, okay? No one cares about me. So just tell me, or do you want me to guess that too?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8NASBV9dJ
He gives me what I'm guessing is a shrug - one large movement of his beefy shoulders, but just as I'm about to scream, he laughs lowly.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oHIvRVOWE
"It's your mother, Nya." I blink, saying nothing, having no idea how to feel. Probably taking my silence as a lack of understanding, he continues. "Your mother wants you to come home."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJp2KNA4Vo
What?665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdFrubp84e
"I don't have a mother," I state lamely. Or I do, but she's either dead, or indifferent towards my existence. If ur was anyone else -- a sibling, cousin maybe -- I'd be willing to accept it. Not a parent. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyYZrU49Ft
My entire life, I've pushed everyone away, and used a lot of energy doing it, too. The concept of having a mother is not just foreign to me, it is completely unwelcome. I would rather have Anansi, Br'er Rabbit* and Kwamé the friendly rolling calf gather in my house and have dinner with me than accept the idea of having a mother.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLKQ6lhM7e
"Yes, you do."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDo4O6J1jM
"And what does this woman want? She didn't show me much love when I was growing up. You see, I kind of don't know who the hell she is." I don't want anything from her. The only thing that I'd want to know is why she gave me up, what happened to me as a baby. Under what circumstances could you possibly abandon your own child and never come back? No letters, no birthday presents, nothing? 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhurPc7z27
He inhales deeply, and then exhales.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9LxCUvfws
"It's complicated," he states, then visibly cringes, obviously hearing just how ridiculous his excuses sound.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9HRUVGNmx
"Now, I have heard that excuse so many times in my life, it has grown utterly tiresome."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgA8GGIy1i
"Nya, your mother isn't normal." His voice and words carry a certain weight to them, but I don't care. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKbmUvLO88
"You're right. Normal people don't put their children in the foster system, and then pop in when they're twenty. I'm not judging her for giving me up. God knows what she was going through. But she had so much time to come find me, have some kind of relationship with me. Yet, she waits until I'm 20 to send a rolling calf after me? Who does that?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwEQEYWvVk
"She was trying to-"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnwxVH9LFm
"-"protect me?"" I ask him sarcastically. "You have to come up with something a little bit less cliché, for the sake of a good story, if for nothing else."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAurPFGF50C
We stand there in silence before he lowers his shoulders, almost as if he's slouching. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT72xivXA33
"This is why I didn't want to tell you," he says with a sigh.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUSuX1BMNC
"Why? Because I wouldn't understand?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6bKnBEeOP
He looks at the ground and starts to grind hid right front hoof into the dirt. A sign of nervousness. Or frustration.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3UlpEWHhn
"I wish it were that simple. I've been watching you, looking at your habits, your mannerisms. You're quite content with your life the way it is. You don't want it to change. It's not so much that you don't understand, as if is that you don't want to."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5uNp89sLY
"You're right," I say with newfound realisation. I regret coming out now, regret asking him questions. I expected him to say something like "I've chosen you to go on an adventure," definitely not this. "I don't want to understand. I just want my life to stay the way that it has always been."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFK1n34BCw
"Well, she told me not to come back without you, so I guess I'm staying."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9bf1pGd1u
"Why are you taking orders from this woman?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wbhoj4Kg4
"She's my friend and she wants the best for you. And I can empathise with her." 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7kGqhEtfr
"Well, I can't," I reply stubbornly. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvmc2oHHCf
"Additionally... she's not a normal woman," he says as if I didn't make that comment. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmBnj0RHjt
"We've established that her particular style of parenting makes her far from normal." I'm sure that that isn't what he's talking about. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQzITmynw1
"She's an obeah* woman."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAjWAORaNY
"I'm going to bed." 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI86eOV6bu
I've had enough. Enough of being toyed with, enough of being made to believe stupid crap that should in no way shape or form exist - just enough. I don't want to face this anymore. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZWkvKxQeY
"Wait," he calls after me as I make my way to the stairs.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp84d1p3Xkh
"Just... leave me alone, Kwamé." Inside, however... inside, I am becoming really, really scared.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPmOkVGHaz
I've questioned the existence of Rolling Calves, but I don't remember the last time that I've wondered whether or not obeah is real. That's because I know that it is. And it can be very, very dangerous. Now, if I am standing here, talking to a rolling calf, then the idea of having an obeah woman as a mother seems very plausible.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UPpUBcCMw
"You must have noticed that your life has been... luckier than others. If you want to control that quote unquote luck, turn it into something greater, then come to your mother."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4dGIASpwK
"You really think that that will convince me?" I don't want to be convinced. I don't want to know. Please stop.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRt9u6qBm5
"You've never been curious of the identity of your true mother?"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYA7KKtJAPs
"Yes, but as I grew, I learned to resent her."665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5BItI9kax
"There is so much that you don't know-"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxa56FaIcI
"-and don't want to so please leave me, Kwamé!"665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUukas0Xld0
"Okay, I'm sorry," he says, backing down with the realisation that he won't change my mind tonight. He walks out of my field of vision. When I look up, he's gone. It's in his absence that I feel the full effect of the cold wind of the first time. In this moment, I have never felt more alone.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9DQXcZRlZ
***665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2YquYlxbz
For the record, obeah isn't the only thing that causes Nya to be the way she is. Obeah isn't this simple. At all. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5rS0895RA
*Duppy - ghost665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNUjtCaIuF
*Anansi - a troublesome spider that is the star of many Jamaican stories. The stories originate from the Ashanti people, where Anansi is actually a god in the form of a spider.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxu4QZyMTm
*Br'er Rabbit - Anansi's best friend665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzg3bO1vM4
*Bellevue Hospital - hospital in Jamaica for the mentally ill665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkgiBSMcsb
*Ward 21 - psychiatric ward at the UWI Hospital, Jamaica665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusW33XRIuc
*Obeah - a type of witchcraft, similar to voodoo, practiced in the Caribbean.665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQrxJPLW2V
*Upper Six: the highest grade in a high school, grade 13. Both lower and upper six (grades 12 and 13) are optional, and considered as college/tertiary education. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rvY275hbo
Oxtail - the tail of a cow, cut into little pieces, each disk separated from the others. It is seen as gourmet food in Jamaica, and is relatively expensive. 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCvsgKeUBb
Sovereign Centre - a mall in Jamaica 665Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDPTZQZmjp
A thousand dollars - we have a weak dollar, about 1 USD to 124.52 JMD at the moment. It's actually getting better, because it used to be 127.
ns 15.158.61.11da2
