Kwamé has been here for over two hours, and has barely said anything. That has given me more than enough time to openly stare at him - and he's damn good looking. His face is perfectly chiseled, his brows perfectly arched, and his grey, almond eyes perfectly set in his warm caramel coloured face.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrh3m4CIZw9
He's made me soup, taken care of me, made sure that I'm alright - but he's procrastinating. A part of me knew he would, knew that he'd be reluctant to tell me. In a way, he's just as indecisive as I am. He just sits there looking at his glass in his hands, not wanting to address the very large elephants in the room.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbLQFAoVuM
"You know that you're going to have to talk to me sooner or later," I insist.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wgTJDaLol
"How about later?" he suggests as he looks at the beautifully designed green carpet spread out across the living room floor. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfLdwJ9e7L
"Kwamé."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKGJ1QPhhn
"What?" he asks.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9uv2ifixI
"Talk to me. Please."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8YlGsQnWU
He looks down and sighs heavily, his grey eyes glued to the floor. "I don't know what to say."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPfz9yngCE
"Let's address the fact that I'm seeing you in human form for the first time," I suggest. At the moment, it is the more intriguing topic. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrA1wz3nej
"Let's not talk about that. I only did it so that I could take care of you."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXkYOtfmSn
"Kwamé, this is big," I tell him, stating the obvious. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50kDsnSjsX
"I know, and I hope it won't happen again. You need some friends."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNZnbh2mB8
"How did you know that I was sick?" I ask, changing the subject. I don't want to talk about my lack of friends right now. It's never bothered me before, so I don't know why it should now. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2u40PsVZoq
"I heard you sniffling and vomiting last night, and this morning, your breathing sounded off."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEGnHVjj3I
"Woah, wait- my breathing?" I ask, about an octave higher that my normal pitch. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3CC4f2JfA
"Yeah, I hear things better than humans."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePABJzRDOJ
"So you heard our conversation last night?"607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bRKEuJcEB
"I could hear you talking, but I wasn't listening to the words. I wasn't paying attention. I wanted to give you privacy."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtl9RwDZL2
"How kind of you," I say, surprised by his behaviour. Then again, I don't really know him, do I? Where it me, I would probably eavesdrop. No, I would definitely eavesdrop. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3uxGOuRh7
"Well, while I am inquisitive, I do have my limits."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vyPHWhxlL
"Well, that's good to know."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMewswoERMP
We sit in silence for a few moments, before he clears his throat.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuthbvzD21j
"So, I have a story for you."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOhVbJnLmd
Finally.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PRFHYwXWO
I place the now empty soup bowl on the coffee table, and look at him, sitting in the chair opposite me. He mimics my actions with his glass. I wait for him to begin. For a moment, I don't think that he'll tell me. However, something in my eyes must encourage him, because I see it in his eyes the second that he makes his decision.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMfCcSbncz
He laughs without humour, and then exhales deeply.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKbpyuEngK
"I was born on Saturday, July 7, 1677, to a slave mother and a white, plantation owner father. My father decided to keep me as a member of the household - not quite a son - instead of as a slave. I guess he couldn't stand the idea of having a member of his bloodline working in a field or as a house slave. He treated me with ambivalence; for my whole life, he was, at best, merely tolerant of me. The only person who ever showed me true love was my mother. When I was nineteen, my father died. He had no close relatives, but rather than let his father's plantation go to the government, he left it to his bastard half-breed son. That is all he ever saw me as, anyway." He stops to take a deep breath before continuing his story. "I, however, was overcome with the power rush of actually owning something for once in my life. He wrote it in his will to ensure my freedom, so that no one would try to take advantage of me, force me into slavery. I mistook my father's actions for love, and I forsook those who did love me. My mother, brothers, my sister, and all the other slaves... I didn't abuse them, but I'd be lying if I said that the power didn't get to my head. The problem isn't with what I did, though... It's with what I didn't do. I didn't free them."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbfrCykY4B
"So when you died...?" I ask, trailing off. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8QIpTbA3J
"I died at age twenty six, a few days before my twenty seventh birthday. Pneumonia."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMLYEpr4tf
"Your mother?" I push, although I can take a pretty good guess as to what happened. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEztwcjA6F
"I didn't write a will, and I had no heirs, so when I died, she remained a slave, and the plantation went to the government. I could have helped her, helped them, helped all of them... but I was so damn selfish."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VPPS9d205
Damn. I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't that.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJh1Xngsvt
"So, you see, I'm a monster," he tells me with a painful smile on his face. I can see the hurt and anger deep in his eyes. Anger directed inwards, at himself. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSt2mWaw6m
"No, you're not," I reassure him. "Formerly an asshole, maybe. But from what I've seen, you're not a monster."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eVz82E5NW
"So why have I been damned to this for eternity?" Despise the obvious feelings that can be read on his face, his voice is monotonous, devoid of any emotion. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLAjeQfLui
He has a good point.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEpD7xwd4f
"Maybe, it is you," I tell him. "Maybe, it's a result of the way that you saw yourself when you were dying. How did you feel? What did you feel?" I ask him.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp5i8y3URY
He looks into my eyes, and then looks down, biting his lip, before letting out a huge sigh.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBi34F6zIH
"Regret. Regret and self-loathing. I hated myself for not loving my family while I was alive. I called for a lawyer to get my will in place, but when he arrived, I was too far gone."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0ORSZF3p6
Can you ever... move on?" I ask him.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ewn4kJiZt
He chuckles softly.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAh5ixcxb8D
"No. I'm stuck like this forever."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBaIUFEIjE
"If you can be human, why is it so bad?"607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qbVRipQhM
"Because we always want to go back to being an animal. There's always that urge to be what you're meant to be- a murderous bull."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTGc5PpLme
"Murderous?"607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dCiwlOsSW
"Yes. It makes you angry. Makes you want to kill, feed off of the fear of others, feel some kind of power and control when you've been powerless for so long." While he's talking, he stared into my eyes with great determination - trying to convince me that he is a monster.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1w2BV1J2C
"Have you ever done that?"607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHg5GlLJRy
"Once. He was my enemy."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLG1WFaiG9k
"Oh."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHSl7hHFTw
I can tell that there's more to the story, but he leaves it at that, probably in an attempt to scare me.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKFMsSJHDn
"I like you, Kwamé," I tell him. "And you don't scare me."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQF5Ly3MIZ
"I should."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNlMn2W4eI
"But you don't." Truthfully, I see no reason to fear him. He thinks he's worse than he really is. Consumed by guilt, he's become this person filled with self hatred and self loathing, convinced that he's an evil entity.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjqX7rT4Uf
I don't believe that that is true. He needs to give himself another chance.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6rMe9dJGg
But if I am to tell him that... then I also need to be forgiving. I need to give my mother another chance.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsRSbRKEXE
"Tell you what - how about we both learn forgiveness? You try to forgive yourself, and I try to forgive my mother. Starting now."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAl3Dtik940
"You'll give her another chance?" he asks hopefully. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFIpF5BnlS
"If you do the same for yourself. I'll meet with her soon."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHkAsmkZCy
Looking rather torn, he looks into my eyes as if searching deep into my soul for an alternative. When he finds none, he lets out a deep sigh.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZq61TzaYE
"Fine. But I'm only doing this for your mother."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nnXRa2JLI
I show my gratitude with a large smile stretching from ear to ear. As I look at him sitting there, unsure as ever, I know that I won't regret this decision. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7xLq3GIar
***607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqFYJ8bZWp
School has become one of the most boring, mundane things that I have ever experienced. Perhaps it's due to the supernatural that has filled my life in every other aspect. Still, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate in lab sessions, which is never a good thing. Today, though... today, I have a plan. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJaAlieHIz
After sneaking past a sleeping Kwamé laying on my couch - I didn't even know that he slept - I planned on going to do some research. The main library hosts an extensive collection of books, some of which must be on Jamaican folklore. I came up with this plan the last time I spoke to Kwamé, actually. I decided that I would try to find out as much as possible on the topic. However, as we all know, things don't always turn out the way we want. Or that's what I'm hearing now, since I've never had this problem before. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFtbrRhIdG
"No ID, no entrance," the guard outside of the library says to me. The fact that I'm sick only makes me more irritable. I don't know if she can tell I that I'm seething, but she leans back in her seat, moving away from me. Of course, I would have to leave my ID at home today of all days. Of course.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvAITkZrR1
"Look, I'll give you my ID number," I try to bargain, sniffling a few times. "620114-"607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BK6w8EN4V
"No," she insists, "I need the actual ID."607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSL9kwvPgp
So of course, my brilliant plan falls through.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicGwRtpRWk
Instead of having a library of books available to me, all I have is the internet. Which is still pretty good. Sitting on the library steps in my oversized sweater, I pull out my iPad and type in Rolling Calf in the search engine... only to find nothing, because unsurprisingly, the WiFi is being a bitch and a half. I grind my teeth so hard, it feels as if they could crush diamonds. Exhaling steadily, I agree with myself that I will continue my search once I get home.607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCoTe9puGz
This seamed like a better idea in my head, because once I reach home, and into my room with Kwamé in the shower outside (not the en suite one) the only things that pop up are things that I already know. Some of it I suspect to be utter rubbish, for example, throwing things on the ground for a rolling calf to count, and then running away. I can hardly imagine Kwamé stopping to count rice grains while his "victim" escapes, or getting confused at an intersection*. In terms of the river mumma, I knew this already, except for one small detail:607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4C2ObzrOG
During the times of slavery, sacrifices would be made to the river mumma during a drought, or when someone wanted to cross the river. The fish in that area would not be eaten, because they were thought to be her children. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowRugFgBGU
Paraphrasing a bit, but that's basically what it says. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKLWPbMQc5
I was aware of the part where the fish were her children, but the rest sounds like utter bullcrap. Then again, isn't anything possible at this point in time? 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEemDnfBXjm
Duppies: been there, done that. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qfMxDiskA
However, there's one thing there that I don't hear about every day, even though I know about it: Ol' Higue. Ol' Higue... I remember read a poem about her for my CSEC* Literature exam. The creature is an old witch who sheds her skin and takes the form of what some say to be an owl, and what others say to be a ball of light - personally, I think that owl is more plausible, but who the hell knows anymore - and preys on people in their sleep, especially babies. Kind of like a vampire. If salt is placed on her skin she will not be able to put it back on, which will make her vulnerable. If you throw rice on the ground - why are we so obsessed with rice? - she will have to count it. This was thought to be an explanation to grieving mothers for SIDS, but knowing what I know now, it's probably true. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0XCBbYubP
But none of this helps me, since I already know most of it. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYh8HhfAwe
Sighing, I go to my bookshelf and pull out my "World of Poetry" book to look for clues. I sit and skim through the poems, some of which I was assigned. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoXbr6uVKK
"Ol' Higue... 'Le loupgarou'..." I stop dead when I spot a poem that I've never read before. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaxIvuKec3
My Mother's Sea Chanty. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02BBjzNlL5
It's a poem about a woman who's mother is a mermaid... in the sea. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYahyNIE8a
With a huff of frustration, I slam the book closed. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYH1o1bPdLC
Deciding to take a different approach, I research Obeah spells, abandoning my quest to explain Kwamé for the time being. It is rather odd to be researching something that scares the crap out of you, just for the sake of understanding yourself. In a way, it kind of means that you're scared of yourself. Depressing, really. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSB9s2HxE0
I come across an anti bad luck charm, something that I might need soon if I continue on this trajectory. It looks too simple, though, reminding me of a Harry Potter spell, like "Expecto Patronum". Still, I screenshot it, and continue my search. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUK9NEjeNeq
It is then that I find something that is rather frightening. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9D1phRM84
I come across a website that offers obeah spells, and says that payment is not needed until results are seen. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxZ0IeccjZ
Now although I have always believed in obeah, I also know that many people who claim to perform "obeah" are scammers, preying on uneducated families with children who have mental illnesses or seizure disorders. It is a common misconception among many Jamaicans that seizures are caused by demon possession. But this... this is as real as it can possibly get. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZruf6M7LO
Quickly, I exit the website, as if something is going to jump out the screen at me. I'm frightened, I can't deny it. If I did, my pulse rate and breathing would definitely give me away. But other than fear, there's something else... 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvXOzp4U35
Excitement. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkN3XpqFR1R
Oh dear God, Nya. You're in for a rough ride, aren't you?607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZqdZrmQq4
And for once, I completely agree with my inner voice, no indecisiveness, just acceptance. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsHQiraxez
***607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbLNBJFuM1
A/N607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQNnAxHVY6
607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVYkbGwMid
I actually found a website that said that 😅607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27pPdRDOom
Also, the thing about an intersection: supposedly, if you go to an intersection, the rolling calf will get confused. They are also afraid of being beaten by a whip (some say specifically a tarred whip in the left hand). They supposedly carry a chain and / or a bell, so you can hear them approaching, but I didn't want Kwamé to have that. 607Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYKqHKIwTo
*CSEC: Caribbean Secondary Examination Certificate.
ns 64.252.185.142da2
