Kwamé has been here for over two hours, and has barely said anything. That has given me more than enough time to openly stare at him - and he's damn good looking. His face is perfectly chiseled, his brows perfectly arched, and his grey, almond eyes perfectly set in his warm caramel coloured face.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ijG6yNBtu
He's made me soup, taken care of me, made sure that I'm alright - but he's procrastinating. A part of me knew he would, knew that he'd be reluctant to tell me. In a way, he's just as indecisive as I am. He just sits there looking at his glass in his hands, not wanting to address the very large elephants in the room.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAIX3HS9yX
"You know that you're going to have to talk to me sooner or later," I insist.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXM4RKgj0V
"How about later?" he suggests as he looks at the beautifully designed green carpet spread out across the living room floor. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQhzy5HeUy
"Kwamé."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnMaHivxxk
"What?" he asks.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwemfTZCNuu
"Talk to me. Please."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbseRPhodfr
He looks down and sighs heavily, his grey eyes glued to the floor. "I don't know what to say."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3c72F7AhVA
"Let's address the fact that I'm seeing you in human form for the first time," I suggest. At the moment, it is the more intriguing topic. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJcDA6wLDA
"Let's not talk about that. I only did it so that I could take care of you."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWC8b1kEiXS
"Kwamé, this is big," I tell him, stating the obvious. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2tix2uw7x
"I know, and I hope it won't happen again. You need some friends."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXN4QECrc2I
"How did you know that I was sick?" I ask, changing the subject. I don't want to talk about my lack of friends right now. It's never bothered me before, so I don't know why it should now. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXoTya0Z1M
"I heard you sniffling and vomiting last night, and this morning, your breathing sounded off."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8cqnrUPZs
"Woah, wait- my breathing?" I ask, about an octave higher that my normal pitch. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoFCo6yorg
"Yeah, I hear things better than humans."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wddu4avKL
"So you heard our conversation last night?"686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQSBVEdubm
"I could hear you talking, but I wasn't listening to the words. I wasn't paying attention. I wanted to give you privacy."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8n53FRV2B
"How kind of you," I say, surprised by his behaviour. Then again, I don't really know him, do I? Where it me, I would probably eavesdrop. No, I would definitely eavesdrop. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBWDodib34
"Well, while I am inquisitive, I do have my limits."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZtBE7GoFS
"Well, that's good to know."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75XCwEWdGK
We sit in silence for a few moments, before he clears his throat.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmy2qw1yog
"So, I have a story for you."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRl23WVNaD
Finally.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXgfx0SLCx
I place the now empty soup bowl on the coffee table, and look at him, sitting in the chair opposite me. He mimics my actions with his glass. I wait for him to begin. For a moment, I don't think that he'll tell me. However, something in my eyes must encourage him, because I see it in his eyes the second that he makes his decision.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIR0hGlI4B5
He laughs without humour, and then exhales deeply.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYqbfdAm0A
"I was born on Saturday, July 7, 1677, to a slave mother and a white, plantation owner father. My father decided to keep me as a member of the household - not quite a son - instead of as a slave. I guess he couldn't stand the idea of having a member of his bloodline working in a field or as a house slave. He treated me with ambivalence; for my whole life, he was, at best, merely tolerant of me. The only person who ever showed me true love was my mother. When I was nineteen, my father died. He had no close relatives, but rather than let his father's plantation go to the government, he left it to his bastard half-breed son. That is all he ever saw me as, anyway." He stops to take a deep breath before continuing his story. "I, however, was overcome with the power rush of actually owning something for once in my life. He wrote it in his will to ensure my freedom, so that no one would try to take advantage of me, force me into slavery. I mistook my father's actions for love, and I forsook those who did love me. My mother, brothers, my sister, and all the other slaves... I didn't abuse them, but I'd be lying if I said that the power didn't get to my head. The problem isn't with what I did, though... It's with what I didn't do. I didn't free them."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Qvftgv9sa
"So when you died...?" I ask, trailing off. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbChwN5Ykl
"I died at age twenty six, a few days before my twenty seventh birthday. Pneumonia."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1lTsYSdLp
"Your mother?" I push, although I can take a pretty good guess as to what happened. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NoauCHOn8
"I didn't write a will, and I had no heirs, so when I died, she remained a slave, and the plantation went to the government. I could have helped her, helped them, helped all of them... but I was so damn selfish."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HAngli6ou
Damn. I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't that.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUetdxwB7n9
"So, you see, I'm a monster," he tells me with a painful smile on his face. I can see the hurt and anger deep in his eyes. Anger directed inwards, at himself. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhbmV8ia0W
"No, you're not," I reassure him. "Formerly an asshole, maybe. But from what I've seen, you're not a monster."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsZsHdw2VD
"So why have I been damned to this for eternity?" Despise the obvious feelings that can be read on his face, his voice is monotonous, devoid of any emotion. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4DZQXquyH
He has a good point.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡny6JkSQBsR
"Maybe, it is you," I tell him. "Maybe, it's a result of the way that you saw yourself when you were dying. How did you feel? What did you feel?" I ask him.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOvEaMypU9
He looks into my eyes, and then looks down, biting his lip, before letting out a huge sigh.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJujt2wygC
"Regret. Regret and self-loathing. I hated myself for not loving my family while I was alive. I called for a lawyer to get my will in place, but when he arrived, I was too far gone."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlk7LXnJiJ
Can you ever... move on?" I ask him.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxgZK0lWmn
He chuckles softly.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qwG3NaiMv
"No. I'm stuck like this forever."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRW3xEZAC3t
"If you can be human, why is it so bad?"686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxuvd8sGlS
"Because we always want to go back to being an animal. There's always that urge to be what you're meant to be- a murderous bull."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpJWY3tWWQ
"Murderous?"686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlX9t5xtih
"Yes. It makes you angry. Makes you want to kill, feed off of the fear of others, feel some kind of power and control when you've been powerless for so long." While he's talking, he stared into my eyes with great determination - trying to convince me that he is a monster.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvllyblSxBK
"Have you ever done that?"686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdAyPGBjDO
"Once. He was my enemy."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4u4xi1ych
"Oh."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxfM7Ir2G3
I can tell that there's more to the story, but he leaves it at that, probably in an attempt to scare me.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5DYzCb3yl
"I like you, Kwamé," I tell him. "And you don't scare me."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSHYD83hHZ
"I should."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ69R6ABrU
"But you don't." Truthfully, I see no reason to fear him. He thinks he's worse than he really is. Consumed by guilt, he's become this person filled with self hatred and self loathing, convinced that he's an evil entity.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4yYiHsveh
I don't believe that that is true. He needs to give himself another chance.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zSz1jWXZW
But if I am to tell him that... then I also need to be forgiving. I need to give my mother another chance.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OKuotPLOd
"Tell you what - how about we both learn forgiveness? You try to forgive yourself, and I try to forgive my mother. Starting now."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qcyzwdo5F
"You'll give her another chance?" he asks hopefully. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbVVA3Cx4t
"If you do the same for yourself. I'll meet with her soon."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbe7IBPr9L
Looking rather torn, he looks into my eyes as if searching deep into my soul for an alternative. When he finds none, he lets out a deep sigh.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBXnkL2AiX
"Fine. But I'm only doing this for your mother."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAAvmBn7Wy
I show my gratitude with a large smile stretching from ear to ear. As I look at him sitting there, unsure as ever, I know that I won't regret this decision. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3RcxoT8FM
***686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMo9KsymUPE
School has become one of the most boring, mundane things that I have ever experienced. Perhaps it's due to the supernatural that has filled my life in every other aspect. Still, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate in lab sessions, which is never a good thing. Today, though... today, I have a plan. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzH0dlHmI4g
After sneaking past a sleeping Kwamé laying on my couch - I didn't even know that he slept - I planned on going to do some research. The main library hosts an extensive collection of books, some of which must be on Jamaican folklore. I came up with this plan the last time I spoke to Kwamé, actually. I decided that I would try to find out as much as possible on the topic. However, as we all know, things don't always turn out the way we want. Or that's what I'm hearing now, since I've never had this problem before. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡto64WWS0Cg
"No ID, no entrance," the guard outside of the library says to me. The fact that I'm sick only makes me more irritable. I don't know if she can tell I that I'm seething, but she leans back in her seat, moving away from me. Of course, I would have to leave my ID at home today of all days. Of course.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAG8rasQ1o4
"Look, I'll give you my ID number," I try to bargain, sniffling a few times. "620114-"686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkFRmyWEZw
"No," she insists, "I need the actual ID."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nyJfOqc9N
So of course, my brilliant plan falls through.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wn74d8ixH
Instead of having a library of books available to me, all I have is the internet. Which is still pretty good. Sitting on the library steps in my oversized sweater, I pull out my iPad and type in Rolling Calf in the search engine... only to find nothing, because unsurprisingly, the WiFi is being a bitch and a half. I grind my teeth so hard, it feels as if they could crush diamonds. Exhaling steadily, I agree with myself that I will continue my search once I get home.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEBxSscvvY
This seamed like a better idea in my head, because once I reach home, and into my room with Kwamé in the shower outside (not the en suite one) the only things that pop up are things that I already know. Some of it I suspect to be utter rubbish, for example, throwing things on the ground for a rolling calf to count, and then running away. I can hardly imagine Kwamé stopping to count rice grains while his "victim" escapes, or getting confused at an intersection*. In terms of the river mumma, I knew this already, except for one small detail:686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvOWTbRFYD
During the times of slavery, sacrifices would be made to the river mumma during a drought, or when someone wanted to cross the river. The fish in that area would not be eaten, because they were thought to be her children. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeoH5FMorU
Paraphrasing a bit, but that's basically what it says. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5lJhzFEHB
I was aware of the part where the fish were her children, but the rest sounds like utter bullcrap. Then again, isn't anything possible at this point in time? 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMc3dt0gfZ
Duppies: been there, done that. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRO5YqKJl2q
However, there's one thing there that I don't hear about every day, even though I know about it: Ol' Higue. Ol' Higue... I remember read a poem about her for my CSEC* Literature exam. The creature is an old witch who sheds her skin and takes the form of what some say to be an owl, and what others say to be a ball of light - personally, I think that owl is more plausible, but who the hell knows anymore - and preys on people in their sleep, especially babies. Kind of like a vampire. If salt is placed on her skin she will not be able to put it back on, which will make her vulnerable. If you throw rice on the ground - why are we so obsessed with rice? - she will have to count it. This was thought to be an explanation to grieving mothers for SIDS, but knowing what I know now, it's probably true. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQymHhpFEg
But none of this helps me, since I already know most of it. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLbNMUB4eW
Sighing, I go to my bookshelf and pull out my "World of Poetry" book to look for clues. I sit and skim through the poems, some of which I was assigned. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRlBiEBqnM
"Ol' Higue... 'Le loupgarou'..." I stop dead when I spot a poem that I've never read before. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZZeWNYAi2
My Mother's Sea Chanty. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr62vc9Arjq
It's a poem about a woman who's mother is a mermaid... in the sea. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytuEf90hnU
With a huff of frustration, I slam the book closed. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyFP4YhZTv
Deciding to take a different approach, I research Obeah spells, abandoning my quest to explain Kwamé for the time being. It is rather odd to be researching something that scares the crap out of you, just for the sake of understanding yourself. In a way, it kind of means that you're scared of yourself. Depressing, really. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWI4lWqkBy
I come across an anti bad luck charm, something that I might need soon if I continue on this trajectory. It looks too simple, though, reminding me of a Harry Potter spell, like "Expecto Patronum". Still, I screenshot it, and continue my search. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl33NCWGw3G
It is then that I find something that is rather frightening. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ja8aJ9rxw
I come across a website that offers obeah spells, and says that payment is not needed until results are seen. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjqjyPCXHS
Now although I have always believed in obeah, I also know that many people who claim to perform "obeah" are scammers, preying on uneducated families with children who have mental illnesses or seizure disorders. It is a common misconception among many Jamaicans that seizures are caused by demon possession. But this... this is as real as it can possibly get. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9mVVg6zzc
Quickly, I exit the website, as if something is going to jump out the screen at me. I'm frightened, I can't deny it. If I did, my pulse rate and breathing would definitely give me away. But other than fear, there's something else... 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWZGHSBLsF
Excitement. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmilEYpLz6h
Oh dear God, Nya. You're in for a rough ride, aren't you?686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhOyeMpqWA
And for once, I completely agree with my inner voice, no indecisiveness, just acceptance. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgiBe1Bd1k
***686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuivx6zQ525
A/N686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGS8joGaJY
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUakqmZlDL
I actually found a website that said that 😅686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ198rxlAAJ6
Also, the thing about an intersection: supposedly, if you go to an intersection, the rolling calf will get confused. They are also afraid of being beaten by a whip (some say specifically a tarred whip in the left hand). They supposedly carry a chain and / or a bell, so you can hear them approaching, but I didn't want Kwamé to have that. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBsoiX71Bv
*CSEC: Caribbean Secondary Examination Certificate.
ns3.16.68.225da2
