My head hurts. Strange for me, because I'm not used to feeling physical pain. Takes me back to the time when I got sick. I always wondered what people meant when they said that they had a headache; it's a strange feeling; strange, and very unpleasant. It is honest to God spinning, and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3jfR27xuv
"What do you mean that I'm immortal?" The sound coming from my throat is closer to a croak than anything else.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHK1hRpNo7
"You can't die."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOV7TpAqr4
No shit. Obviously, I got that part, that I won't grow old and die; I want to know the extent of my immortality. I mean, even the vampires in those stories can die, right?620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7g9UUJ1Au
"Not even if someone cuts my head off or burns me?"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC39SZfXcw
"Nope. You'll just reform."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFve8v5E2Et
Well, I shouldn't be shocked. Should anything really surprise me anymore? 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1P46PT0Xge
This does.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VRNsBJEJH
"When you turn exactly the same age as I did when I became immortal — 20 years, 49 weeks and 2 days — you will look exactly like me. That's another reason why I came for you. I wanted to prepare you for it. And once upon a time, I looked exactly the same as you do now."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKbxFPco1o
It's so surprising, so unnatural, that I cannot wrap my head around it. She has shattered my concept of reality, making me realise that many things that I was sure of aren't real. It's like a child being told that Santa Claus isn't real. I never believed in Santa, but I know that many of the children in the orphanage did. They were told by Miss Andrea, one of our caregivers, that some old man with a big belly would sneak in and leave Charles chocolate for us, which we would consume on Christmas day. Of course, I had figured out that someone had put it out for us, because, come on, the story just sounds stupid. However, the Christmas when I was five years old, Miss Andrea was on bed rest because of complications in her pregnancy, and as a result, no chocolate came. When the children started to ask questions, they were informed by the other caretakers that Santa wasn't real. They were heartbroken, but more than that, they couldn't understand how it was that something that they had always believed, been convinced of, seen 'evidence' of was not real. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEv8kUGzo8C
The only difference is that Santa Claus isn't logical, so when they were told that he wasn't real, even as young children, they could eventually, after some convincing and explaining, understand why. The concept of immortality is not logical, not rational, and up until now, she has not given me a good explanation as to why it exists.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacl8ondsAc
I can accept everything else, but this is just downright insane. Funny how I can believe in river mummas and rolling calves, but I can't believe that I'm immortal. Maybe because river mummas are spirits, and rolling calves are already dead.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTwiSfO8G5
But is it logical that Kwamé can appear in the form of a man? A good looking man, actually... So why is it so hard to believe that you're immortal?620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItsa3Yyqkt
"I don't want to live forever." That's the God honest truth. That's how I feel, because who does? Who wants to walk the earth forever until their life loses all meaning, but still, they are forced to live on? 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuju0bClguz
Okay, fine. Immortality is something that many people desperately want, but I don't. Never had. I think of Kwamé, and I shudder at just how depressing his life must be. Hearing my own fate I am now able to truly better how awful his life must be. Fear can help one to better appreciate and comprehend certain situations.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUq7Cg278q
"I'm sorry." Her voice, her face... it's full of guilt. I don't want her to feel guilty. I realise that my feelings of animosity towards her have changed. I don't know when and how, but it doesn't feel sudden. She must have been growing on me, and I didn't even notice. I decide to change the subject for the sake of her feelings. Rather than contemplating how dull and boring my existence will eventually become, and how painful Kwamé's predicament must be for him, I instead start to think about how her immortality has affected her. Torturing myself with depressing thoughts can come later.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pzrBwjkLE
"When you said that you made a deal many years ago, how many years ago was it?" I am honestly curious about this, considering the new factor of immortality. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1NOYtVoTK
She looks to the side and purses her lips, contemplating the question. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZHwAlsc5E
"About two hundred and fifty." The number is shocking, but instead of letting my mouth hang open, I pick up my coffee and take a sip. This just points out to me how serious this immortality thing is. Again, Kwamé springs to my mind. I begin to think about what he is going through, walking the earth with his demons and no possibility of relief outside of himself. Despite my sudden feelings of dread, I keep my express stoic. The last thing I want is for her to feel dreadful again. However, this time, she grins at me.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBae5qUKnH
"What?" I demand, placing the cup down on the table. The question comes out a little bit more aggressively than I intended for it to. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHFd90b81c
She just shakes her head, amused. "It's just nice of you to spare my feelings by pretending not to be shocked. Afraid. I can tell that you are."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5aUOCUSVH
"How do you do that?" The question has been burning a hole in my mind, on the tip of my tongue for ages now, but I haven't gotten the courage to ask her. How does she know everything? Any little unsaid emotion that I have, she seems to know about it. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5V1HoxNSB
She leans forward slightly, urging me to do the same. "I can feel your emotions. It makes me capable of making an educated guess as to what you are thinking." That explains a lot. It doesn't seem so creepy anymore. She bites her lip, as if thinking hard about her next words before saying them. "For example, I know that you've been generally gloomy lately, and I think I know why."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkVz19Z0xN
The air leaves my lips in a rush, as I sigh in defeat. I guess I can't avoid talking about him. Maybe is should. Since the last time I spoke to him, outside of sleep, I haven't been able to go a full twenty minutes without thinking about him.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ej8zLF1Ee
"Listen..." The dim lighting almost seems to emphasise the lines and creases of her face, making her appear older. than her supposed biological age of twenty two. "He'll come around. He just has his moments." 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXTfvI34e9
I nod to let her know that I believe her. I didn't expect him to sulk forever, I just don't want him to feel like that. He deserves better. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBfOx4KQBc
"I just wish that he didn't feel so worthless," I rush out.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhyiULqYGY
"Hey." She tries to make it sound as if she suddenly has an idea, but I know exactly what she's doing. She's trying to distract me. "Would you like to meet someone?" 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFBFa0E5Xo
As in a random stranger? Or a possible mentor? Another obeah person? 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEA2Z0uVSwU
"She practices herbal medicine, and makes the most amazing ginuea hen weed tea that I have ever had." 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hExFDRvId
"But... why?" What does that have to do with anything? It's so random, and I can't make sense of it. I hope to God that it is nothing that will freak me out. I've had enough of that for today.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lxgcnujrc
"It will give you perspective." 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BHemiKwQy
I ponder her words and definitely not for the first time, I wonder what the hell she's talking about. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsCcZOI9dJ
***620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctpC7SoOVS
The first thing that I notice is the strong scent of lavender as I walk into the crowded greenhouse. Of course, the person — woman — that we're looking for would have to be in a greenhouse, not in her house, or a place that doesn't look like an enchanted garden. It's kinda scary; too many plants blocking the sunlight from fully illuminating the room, making it appear as of some mythical creature could charge forth at any point.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuQyvCGtaM
"Cecile?" she calls out to the seemingly empty greenhouse. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNot9KQG1N
I hear a rustling among the leaves, and then the muted thud of a footstep. As the footfalls and movement of the leaves get closer and closer, this "Cecile" begins to speak.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AcTYGstQ8
"Akatua, my dear," she purrs as she comes into view. She is an old woman, wrinkles covering every inch of her skin. She cracks a smile, which enhances the crow's feet beneath her eyes. "It's been forever. Have you neglected me?"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfLvDkMMBT
"It's been four months, Cecile," Akatua answers with a smirk. "I see that unsurprisingly, you haven't changed. At all. Still as melodramatic as ever."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegGnCgCohs
Cecile simply rolls her eyes and smiles at my mother.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tyubjDZ6q
My mother? Since when have I started to think of her as that?620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8LUdLQMM2
"I want to teach her herbal medicine."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMm8AyaSKAG
I breathe a sigh of relief. This is probably the most normal things that she has suggested since I've met her. No magic. No obeah. Just herbs.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPyOXjrCNh
"Okay," Cecile gardens, nodding her head, and then turning to face me. "How much do you know about herbology, young one?" she asks.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJpke3CS9e
I swallow and clear my throat. "Not much," I answer. She nods her head and smiles.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKsdvuQ844
"Well, let's see what we can do with you," she says. I smile back at her, positivity filling me up inside. This is something that I can manage; normal, manageable. Probably something that Akatua knew that I needed. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjQnLFGTtt
As always with Akatua, things were simple when said, but rather difficult to execute. Well, difficult for me. To start with, I can't cut or crush plants to save my life. Funny how I'm doing electives and classes in both biology and chemistry, but I can barely use a knife properly. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oeAUiabZk
"It takes some time yo master, dear. Would've been helpful if you cooked more."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitwe9InvVu
Akatua laughs at this, but unsuccessfully tries to disguise it as a cough.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YHks6vIer
"Can't I just use a grinder?" I whine.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8f4SGqf5F4
"No," she responds. "A grinder doesn't work as well as a knife. And we aren't doing something that a grinder is used for, anyway."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpl7gavSQV4
Sighing, I put my knife down and rub my hands on my apron. "My hands are tired," I announce, causing them to both look at me in surprise. I don't know why; this is my fifth attempt at extracting Aloe Vera gel and I've messed it up just as badly as the other times. I hear Cecile smirk; it's a tiny sound, barely audible, but it still ticks me off. I turn to her and give her a glare that has her stepping back. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsx1pacKoAs
"Nya, be nice," Akatua scolds. I close my eyes and count to ten, pretending that they aren't there. When I reopen them, I feel significantly calmer, though not completely calm.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEalqWIFanp
"Why am I doing this?" I ask Akatua in a hushed voice. She simply shrugs.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8FIBdYKfG
"I thought that it would be interesting to learn," she replies.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvHjmlD4T1
"Well, it's really hard."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxCaH9VM40
"It just takes practice, dear," Cecile says to me. I almost forgot about her. I probably would have, if I couldn't sell her sweet scent, Pink Chiffon from Bath and Body Works if I'm not mistaken. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8765xUKQR
"Well, I think I've had enough practice for today," I comment. "Can we go home now?"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGM0hAO1C4d
"Actually, Nya... I actually came here for some of her herbs. Give me five minutes and I'll be right with you."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqLzOAaUaN
I stand in the middle of the green house while they talk and walk around, cutting off and pulling out pieces of plants. It's a typical Jamaican makeshift greenhouse, made from a green, synthetic fibre mesh rather than glass. They take their time, but rather than feeling alone and abandoned in a stranger's greenhouse... I feel at peace. Maybe I really was born to be in this strange position with Akatua mentoring me and being a mother at once. Maybe I was always destined for greatness.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTqLAHHfrT
Who are you kidding, Nya? You've always been destined to be more than what you were.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkC6BKlwNNo
It is because of this new epiphany, the full weight and reality coming down on me at once, that I have a good feeling about this.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WjsQEL2gx
God, I really need to work on my mood swings.
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