My head hurts. Strange for me, because I'm not used to feeling physical pain. Takes me back to the time when I got sick. I always wondered what people meant when they said that they had a headache; it's a strange feeling; strange, and very unpleasant. It is honest to God spinning, and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX4sJWpfXZ
"What do you mean that I'm immortal?" The sound coming from my throat is closer to a croak than anything else.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrPkFOYqpX
"You can't die."591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtEcad7VsU
No shit. Obviously, I got that part, that I won't grow old and die; I want to know the extent of my immortality. I mean, even the vampires in those stories can die, right?591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4JDBXv9LZ
"Not even if someone cuts my head off or burns me?"591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUpX4Uggzr
"Nope. You'll just reform."591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzx1T43mlm
Well, I shouldn't be shocked. Should anything really surprise me anymore? 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAbrzJa6XQ
This does.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgQfgTk8LF
"When you turn exactly the same age as I did when I became immortal — 20 years, 49 weeks and 2 days — you will look exactly like me. That's another reason why I came for you. I wanted to prepare you for it. And once upon a time, I looked exactly the same as you do now."591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuzijxv4CA
It's so surprising, so unnatural, that I cannot wrap my head around it. She has shattered my concept of reality, making me realise that many things that I was sure of aren't real. It's like a child being told that Santa Claus isn't real. I never believed in Santa, but I know that many of the children in the orphanage did. They were told by Miss Andrea, one of our caregivers, that some old man with a big belly would sneak in and leave Charles chocolate for us, which we would consume on Christmas day. Of course, I had figured out that someone had put it out for us, because, come on, the story just sounds stupid. However, the Christmas when I was five years old, Miss Andrea was on bed rest because of complications in her pregnancy, and as a result, no chocolate came. When the children started to ask questions, they were informed by the other caretakers that Santa wasn't real. They were heartbroken, but more than that, they couldn't understand how it was that something that they had always believed, been convinced of, seen 'evidence' of was not real. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHk00ztHVF
The only difference is that Santa Claus isn't logical, so when they were told that he wasn't real, even as young children, they could eventually, after some convincing and explaining, understand why. The concept of immortality is not logical, not rational, and up until now, she has not given me a good explanation as to why it exists.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EDEszUpgj
I can accept everything else, but this is just downright insane. Funny how I can believe in river mummas and rolling calves, but I can't believe that I'm immortal. Maybe because river mummas are spirits, and rolling calves are already dead.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJ02K4CfVv
But is it logical that Kwamé can appear in the form of a man? A good looking man, actually... So why is it so hard to believe that you're immortal?591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZF5M0b8NQ
"I don't want to live forever." That's the God honest truth. That's how I feel, because who does? Who wants to walk the earth forever until their life loses all meaning, but still, they are forced to live on? 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcoz900AYA
Okay, fine. Immortality is something that many people desperately want, but I don't. Never had. I think of Kwamé, and I shudder at just how depressing his life must be. Hearing my own fate I am now able to truly better how awful his life must be. Fear can help one to better appreciate and comprehend certain situations.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62HGGLF1aO
"I'm sorry." Her voice, her face... it's full of guilt. I don't want her to feel guilty. I realise that my feelings of animosity towards her have changed. I don't know when and how, but it doesn't feel sudden. She must have been growing on me, and I didn't even notice. I decide to change the subject for the sake of her feelings. Rather than contemplating how dull and boring my existence will eventually become, and how painful Kwamé's predicament must be for him, I instead start to think about how her immortality has affected her. Torturing myself with depressing thoughts can come later.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UkrEDgNBk
"When you said that you made a deal many years ago, how many years ago was it?" I am honestly curious about this, considering the new factor of immortality. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVkJq8karl
She looks to the side and purses her lips, contemplating the question. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIP9BLFYYE
"About two hundred and fifty." The number is shocking, but instead of letting my mouth hang open, I pick up my coffee and take a sip. This just points out to me how serious this immortality thing is. Again, Kwamé springs to my mind. I begin to think about what he is going through, walking the earth with his demons and no possibility of relief outside of himself. Despite my sudden feelings of dread, I keep my express stoic. The last thing I want is for her to feel dreadful again. However, this time, she grins at me.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26BIEeS1MP
"What?" I demand, placing the cup down on the table. The question comes out a little bit more aggressively than I intended for it to. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzkXiLVkFI
She just shakes her head, amused. "It's just nice of you to spare my feelings by pretending not to be shocked. Afraid. I can tell that you are."591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8v4egZbRtV
"How do you do that?" The question has been burning a hole in my mind, on the tip of my tongue for ages now, but I haven't gotten the courage to ask her. How does she know everything? Any little unsaid emotion that I have, she seems to know about it. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwO34HFFvYE
She leans forward slightly, urging me to do the same. "I can feel your emotions. It makes me capable of making an educated guess as to what you are thinking." That explains a lot. It doesn't seem so creepy anymore. She bites her lip, as if thinking hard about her next words before saying them. "For example, I know that you've been generally gloomy lately, and I think I know why."591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jNhak4Ixm
The air leaves my lips in a rush, as I sigh in defeat. I guess I can't avoid talking about him. Maybe is should. Since the last time I spoke to him, outside of sleep, I haven't been able to go a full twenty minutes without thinking about him.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iKMKZLZsG
"Listen..." The dim lighting almost seems to emphasise the lines and creases of her face, making her appear older. than her supposed biological age of twenty two. "He'll come around. He just has his moments." 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqPZ2d326Q
I nod to let her know that I believe her. I didn't expect him to sulk forever, I just don't want him to feel like that. He deserves better. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjQ7NM6xMe
"I just wish that he didn't feel so worthless," I rush out.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmQQ7LTcRN
"Hey." She tries to make it sound as if she suddenly has an idea, but I know exactly what she's doing. She's trying to distract me. "Would you like to meet someone?" 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ98f3dICvZ
As in a random stranger? Or a possible mentor? Another obeah person? 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qqvWW4SkF
"She practices herbal medicine, and makes the most amazing ginuea hen weed tea that I have ever had." 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ybQtuGGEE
"But... why?" What does that have to do with anything? It's so random, and I can't make sense of it. I hope to God that it is nothing that will freak me out. I've had enough of that for today.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8EIjHBQCU
"It will give you perspective." 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJuwc0nI6n
I ponder her words and definitely not for the first time, I wonder what the hell she's talking about. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAQsdY6ONG
***591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGpLMm7R11
The first thing that I notice is the strong scent of lavender as I walk into the crowded greenhouse. Of course, the person — woman — that we're looking for would have to be in a greenhouse, not in her house, or a place that doesn't look like an enchanted garden. It's kinda scary; too many plants blocking the sunlight from fully illuminating the room, making it appear as of some mythical creature could charge forth at any point.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKmU9g5vwr
"Cecile?" she calls out to the seemingly empty greenhouse. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡix4r0wRNqQ
I hear a rustling among the leaves, and then the muted thud of a footstep. As the footfalls and movement of the leaves get closer and closer, this "Cecile" begins to speak.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBxQYDiMSA
"Akatua, my dear," she purrs as she comes into view. She is an old woman, wrinkles covering every inch of her skin. She cracks a smile, which enhances the crow's feet beneath her eyes. "It's been forever. Have you neglected me?"591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRSKfcGlOz
"It's been four months, Cecile," Akatua answers with a smirk. "I see that unsurprisingly, you haven't changed. At all. Still as melodramatic as ever."591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqlW1L7pyO
Cecile simply rolls her eyes and smiles at my mother.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdl5ogsRnaz
My mother? Since when have I started to think of her as that?591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6gVb21MeM
"I want to teach her herbal medicine."591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMZwt7abbT
I breathe a sigh of relief. This is probably the most normal things that she has suggested since I've met her. No magic. No obeah. Just herbs.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALyNLwGg7C
"Okay," Cecile gardens, nodding her head, and then turning to face me. "How much do you know about herbology, young one?" she asks.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SSFyrY62n
I swallow and clear my throat. "Not much," I answer. She nods her head and smiles.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCINnUSMse
"Well, let's see what we can do with you," she says. I smile back at her, positivity filling me up inside. This is something that I can manage; normal, manageable. Probably something that Akatua knew that I needed. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguN5RW814F
As always with Akatua, things were simple when said, but rather difficult to execute. Well, difficult for me. To start with, I can't cut or crush plants to save my life. Funny how I'm doing electives and classes in both biology and chemistry, but I can barely use a knife properly. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnUtgjwgu5
"It takes some time yo master, dear. Would've been helpful if you cooked more."591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKel10DUFh
Akatua laughs at this, but unsuccessfully tries to disguise it as a cough.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXk4hHkasGc
"Can't I just use a grinder?" I whine.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡay1Z2mynnd
"No," she responds. "A grinder doesn't work as well as a knife. And we aren't doing something that a grinder is used for, anyway."591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnilK7jswdd
Sighing, I put my knife down and rub my hands on my apron. "My hands are tired," I announce, causing them to both look at me in surprise. I don't know why; this is my fifth attempt at extracting Aloe Vera gel and I've messed it up just as badly as the other times. I hear Cecile smirk; it's a tiny sound, barely audible, but it still ticks me off. I turn to her and give her a glare that has her stepping back. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1hzYTPnJV
"Nya, be nice," Akatua scolds. I close my eyes and count to ten, pretending that they aren't there. When I reopen them, I feel significantly calmer, though not completely calm.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ3knQxCiE
"Why am I doing this?" I ask Akatua in a hushed voice. She simply shrugs.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQvMNox1FD
"I thought that it would be interesting to learn," she replies.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ngwajyfby
"Well, it's really hard."591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ttF9Tt9kl
"It just takes practice, dear," Cecile says to me. I almost forgot about her. I probably would have, if I couldn't sell her sweet scent, Pink Chiffon from Bath and Body Works if I'm not mistaken. 591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8caG4D5XL9
"Well, I think I've had enough practice for today," I comment. "Can we go home now?"591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ828qBsXGxi
"Actually, Nya... I actually came here for some of her herbs. Give me five minutes and I'll be right with you."591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0i0vk3FJlY
I stand in the middle of the green house while they talk and walk around, cutting off and pulling out pieces of plants. It's a typical Jamaican makeshift greenhouse, made from a green, synthetic fibre mesh rather than glass. They take their time, but rather than feeling alone and abandoned in a stranger's greenhouse... I feel at peace. Maybe I really was born to be in this strange position with Akatua mentoring me and being a mother at once. Maybe I was always destined for greatness.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaeWSGbUl6
Who are you kidding, Nya? You've always been destined to be more than what you were.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotI2kxym8c
It is because of this new epiphany, the full weight and reality coming down on me at once, that I have a good feeling about this.591Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4R0qiMAb5O
God, I really need to work on my mood swings.
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