"I'm so glad that you've decided to give our relationship a second chance," my mother gushes as I sit before her in the dimly lit living room. I've decided to make good on my promise with Kwamé, despite the high level of discomfort that I feel when in a room alone with this woman. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6dAjmkHs1
"I don't want to hate you anymore, and I'm trying to be a good example to Kwamé." When her eyebrows come together in confusion, I further explain the situation.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fTLOWqAkM
"I want him to forgive himself."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TE0yctc8w
"I wouldn't put much faith into that," she replies warily, as if it is not possible. This concerns me, seeing that she knows him much better than I do. So why would he promise... 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugH36uoXE8
"Why?" I ask her, eager to understand. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6y0oiUVzOa
"Because I've been trying to get him to do that for years," she informs me in a grave voice. "He's as stubborn as an ass. Nothing will get him to let that go."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIz2JxErg3
"Well, we made a pact." She looks at me as if the notion of a pact to change his mind is utterly idiotic. "Anyway," I say, changing the subject before I get upset with him, "I'm here now. So how about you elaborate on that tale you were telling me?"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yQ0jw1MsY
Her face shuts down as she desperately tries to hide her emotions. Always hiding something from me. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb26WEXJl6k
"I told you a lot. Honestly, what else could you want to know? And aren't you curious about unlocking your powers?"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4o8PFfBdX3
No, I'm actually much more concerned with the truth. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2pRp1GmHe
"Stop trying to change the subject," I demand. "I want to know more about this person who wanted me when I was a baby." I almost laugh out loud, remembering the ridiculous, pathetic excuse of an origin story that she fed me the last time we spoke. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgs8jtD4cG
"She's evil and she's in the past." 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQONunIGOk
Past my ass. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJJ9m6DzLI
I stomp my foot on the ground and then throw myself further back into the couch, like a small child. Something caused by me not getting what I want, because I'm so used to getting what I want. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcus7w3Wiks
"Why are you still afraid of her?" I demand. "What is she gonna do? Come and kill you?"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcQMcohhEn
"She might," my mother responds under her breath. I don't think that I was meant to hear that.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFT4qaSp1J3
"So she's not in the past, then?" I challenge. I refuse to let this go. I have every right to know the truth. And the way she's contradicting herself means that she's obviously lying about something. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZP6t85mXfD
"Yes, she is. I just don't think—"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXB5r1Ig2X
"That I'm ready for it?" I ask. I swear, this us getting very old, very quickly. "Because I assure you, I am. I don't think that there's anything that you could tell me—"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbWkMqC0bW
"She was a River Mumma," my mother rushed out, only to look as if she regrets it right after. Regrets telling me the truth. On the inside, I'm shaking my head. I am surprised (I thought that she would be human), but I'm not freaking out like last time. I'm not surprised that River Mummas exist. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJZM2FBMiE
River Mummas are mythical — well, apparently not so mythical after all — creatures that live in Jamaica's rivers. If I were to compare them to another creature, I'd go with the siren. They often sit on rocks and comb their hair with a golden comb. They say that if you see one, you'll fall into a magical trance and that she'll drag you into the river. Some say that she'll force you to live with her for eternity.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJmZY4245I
There is also the legend of a golden table that they can use to lure the greedy.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwyXOyqHqz
"The golden table—"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBQdgxljh8
"Isn't a myth. It's real. Is that really the first thought that comes to your mind? I tell you that you were almost abducted by a River Mumma and you ask about a Golden Table?" She's not trying to goad me into asking questions — I know that she doesn't want to talk about this — but I think she's just incapable of keeping her surprise to herself. I'd be surprised, too. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2JL2A33S5
I sit and think of a better question to ask her, but one that she won't refuse to answer. If she does that again I might jump her. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHSKUepkcM
"Um... if I'm human, how would she have gotten me?" What did she plan on doing? 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rGm5GAlHy
"Turn you into one." I'm beginning to realise that the answers to a lot of my questions are far simpler than I originally thought. I still have to ask, though. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTjuTrJBqL
"And our rivers aren't exactly wide or long," I continue. "They aren't all interconnected either. How come there aren't any news reports of sightings?"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2gI7u6R7W
"We have underground rivers. Remember that Black River especially is deep. And they know how to not be seen." That's a good point. "Additionally, they're water spirits. They are connected to the rivers of Jamaica. They can teleport." Still, in such a tiny country, I would have expected someone to have seen one in recent history. I've heard lots of stories about Rolling Calves, but no one has ever told me that they, or someone they know has seen a River Mumma.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFaFnLkK1R
I sit and think of anything else that I would like to know about in this situation.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡas2CuViJ70
"What deal did you have with her?" This is important. This, I have to know., but I also know that there's a possibility of her clamping up. Therefore, it's no surprise that as soon as the words leave my mouth, her face screws up.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7cld4jObu
"Uh..."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLyoSxU9dw
"You have to tell me that. It's important." My voice sounds demanding, and I can see that she registers it on her face. She looks at me uncomfortably with the expression of someone who badly wants to shit. I would laugh if I weren't so on edge. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopXNO4O9Vj
"It's complicated," she responds lamely. I have to fight myself to not roll my eyes at her. They do move, though, just a tad. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxCT0W0751
"That's the worst excuse in the history of life. You're starting to sound like Kwamé." When her face stays the same, I decide to let it go. "It's complicated" should probably be the new slogan for my life. Surprisingly, I don't feel like jumping her. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTKdSMaWVh
"So about my abilities," I begin, "what exactly can I do?" I guess it's only fair that we switch to something that she's more comfortable with. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1wBB5yZhk
"A lot," she answers, becoming animated, glad to be speaking of something other than her dealings with some water creature. "You must have already figured out that you can manipulate situations."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbyh1EpMLT
"Yes." Except for my getting sick the last time we met. "I've noticed that since I was a small child. It's worked to my advantage since."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eeWE3j35U
"Well, you can manipulate more than that. You can make prophecies, and change them. The future is never set in stone."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkPtN4YXxY
Shit. That's a lot of power... the kind of power that I don't know that I want. I don't know if that's good for me — for anyone. That only makes me more interested.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6udUFimym
"Kwamé said... that you can move things with your mind."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0tfol8LGI
"Did he now?"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02USbRtYy4
"It was implied." He didn't actually tell me that, after all. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0l4VlqR8f
She looks off to the side pensively as if trying to decide how to phrase her thoughts.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sSKPdBQay
"I'm completely at one with the universe," she begins, sounding more like a monk than anything else. "When that happens, you can feel everything around you — living and non-living. Then, with time, you can learn to... influence things. Without spells."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTg9TO9JVLD
"So in order for me to do that—"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9sN5seRoe
"You must first be at one with the universe," she answers. What the hell is this now? Avatar the Last Airbender? It sounds like something she just made up, pulled out of her ass, and knowing her, she probably did. On top of that, that sounds like a lot of work and effort. In other words, it sounds like something that I probably won't do.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqa8F6Nr9cm
"I understand if you're reluctant," she tells me, guessing my thoughts correctly, "but it's best if you at least get to understand some of your basic powers better, don't you think?"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3DPfmPdfi
I don't know. I honestly don't know how to feel about this. I mean, I'm now interested in learning, but I'm still unsure. It feels partly real, and partly like a scam. Let's say I do this: what if I can't handle the power? Too much power is never a good thing. Or what if I get sucked into some crazy war that's going on among the supernatural? Somehow, I get the feeling that this river mumma isn't done with us yet.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AXeCrdYX4
Isn't done with me yet.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIE9MDnDOM
In other words, I need to learn how to defend myself.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMn5T72iq3
But if that is the case... then I'm going to need Akatua.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zpI7wXlDV
I feel so conflicted, a feeling that I am no stranger to, a feeling that I've been drowning in recently. It's probably because decisions and such usually come to me with an unnatural ease, but now I'm struggling to figure my life out.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF96AmpM0wg
But shouldn't this, of all things, come naturally? 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnB6zUdovt
Damnit.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9F7wU3JcZ0
"Listen. Don't hurt your head about this right now. Just come back when you are ready to learn."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Wz5K39Qsp
When she says this, I don't feel as conflicted anymore. I start to relax, and all thoughts of this river mumma fly out of my head. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNkH1uAr6L
"Yes. I will," I tell her, feeling myself relax already. See? I tell myself. No need to worry.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9cOiU0uzN
I lean back into the couch and let my mind wonder — not about magic, but about the possibility of finally having a mother — someone who cares for me. Strangely, the thought makes me smile to myself for the first time, resentment taking a back seat. I've always heard the other children at school talk about the wonders of having parents, and the idea never appealed to me. Now, though, it seems rather... intriguing. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolyJBgR26x
"Nya," she calls, pulling me back to reality. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyGyITWHID
"Yes?" I ask, looking her in the eye. I see my own brown eyes looking back at me, smiling. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSTAgtQSqL
Her face smiles warmly at me. "Thank you for coming."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDq4QCJ8sQv
It is in this moment that I realise how much this means to her, how unfair, how selfish I was being for letting my feelings get in the way of making the only person on this earth who possibly loves me happy. It's not even as if it's something hard. She just wanted me to give her a chance, and it is in that moment that I feel a guilt like no other bind up in my chest, making me feel sick. Additionally, everything that she's done — that I've hated her for has been in the name of protecting me. Still, I turned her away. I feel tears sting my eyes as I fight to keep them at bay.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwoCxsw3vR
And Kwamé thinks that he is the selfish one.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJtKMCMZpL
"You're welcome," I tell her, my voice filled with newfound friendliness, and wobbling slightly because of my guilt. Its not just my voice that has changed; my entire mindset is now different. I will not be selfish anymore. I will give this woman a chance, even if she tells lies of omission in a misguided attempt to protect me.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0UbBo7tPZ
"Awe, Nya," she murmurs, "don't cry, hun." She wraps her arms around me and I return the gesture, tears still threatening.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlD8neKPtin
"It's just, you know," I begin,"I'm sorry," I rasp.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJkwvxSOmO
"Your feelings are completely understandable, dear," she reassures me, rubbing my back.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyl4uxsJ9lb
This is another thing that I'm not used to: affection. I've been hugged by people before, but it always felt so... unnatural. Akatua's warm embrace, however, is different. Hugging her feels natural. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3Zy58xsL7
At least something feels natural around her.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GWoswg9So
When it's over, I pull back and look at her. I have one request, one thing I need to ask of her.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshYy41zoub
"Akatua?"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHkLlLp0iz
"Hmm?"620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWkS5LccIL
I chew my bottom lip for a second as my eyes dry, trying to find the best way to word my thoughts.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOhMmcUmhh
"When it comes to telling me things," I begin,"if it's absolutely necessary, for example, if this woman — river mumma — is coming back... stuff like that," I clarify as she nods her head, but still, I have to say it out loud.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYUKkjYg4H
"Please tell me," I ask as she continues to nod her head solemnly. I'm not even asking her to tell me everything, just the important bits.620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETZDfNcEyj
"That's fair," she agrees. "I will try my best to be honest with you about things like that from hear on out."620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24SRT7Q86X
"Thank you, Akatua," I say genuinely. 620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwT7afsexFE
"You're welcome, Nya," she replies. It is while looking into this woman's face that I think to myself:620Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcpTvDOuxO
Hey, I guess family can be fun after all.
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