After cleaning up, Melody and Becky went upstairs. Barbara remained downstairs, took over the television, and continued yet another crocheting project. Once in Melody’s room, Becky sat on the bed and placed her overnight bag on her lap. She invited Melody to sit next to her as she unzipped it. The bag was full of magazines, cassettes, and makeup.
“What’s all this?” Melody asked.
“Time to learn what they don’t teach in school,” Becky teased as she took out several magazines. The ones on top were all music related, Hit Parader, Circus, and Metal Edge. Underneath those were Cosmopolitan, Vogue, and other magazines showcasing hair, fashion, and makeup. Melody’s eyes were wide with wonder as Becky handed her a Hit Parader.
“How did you get all these?” Melody asked.
“I swiped them,” Becky giggled.
“You shoplift?”
“Not exactly,” Becky explained. “Stores don’t sell all their magazines every month. When the new issues come in, they take all the old ones off the shelves and box them up. Some stores leave them outside overnight along with the other pickups. I got all these from a place called Marty’s, a little gas station not far from our place when I was in Detroit. Before school started, my girlfriends and I would take a box or two and divide them up at later.”
“I had no idea,” Melody commented as she thumbed through a year-old issue.
“As soon as I know which stores to hit, I can do the same thing here,” Becky continued. “I got to keep up with my guys.”
As Melody turned the pages, Becky pointed to each picture, telling her the name of the band, all the member’s names, their latest album, and whether they were an opening act or headliner. It took Melody no time to realize Becky was a living encyclopedia of heavy metal, while she herself was clueless.
“This is Motley Crue,” Becky said dreamily, pointing to a full-page photo. “They are the greatest band in the world.”
Melody looked at the photo. Four dangerous looking figures were dressed in black leather outfits and wearing makeup. Melody thought two of them were women.
“This is Vince Neil. Isn’t he dreamy? I want a guy just like him,” Becky said. Then she asked, “Which one do you like?”
Melody flipped a few more pages, looking questioningly at outrageous and bizarre photographs depicting bands she could not identify. Finally, she settled on a photo of a band playing on stage. A man with long blonde hair had kicked his leg high over his head.
“Him,” Melody said as she began to blush.
“David Lee Roth?” Becky asked. “Do you even know who that is?”
Melody shook her head.
“Oh Melody,” Becky stated as she hung her head in disbelief. “This is Van Halen. Diamond Dave is their star frontman. Have you been under a rock your whole life?”
“I suppose I have,” Melody admitted. “I don’t know who any of these people are.” She then placed the magazine down and picked up a similar one.
“Well, be happy you got me now,” Becky laughed. “So tell me, what are you going to do? Stick around this town after graduation, marry a farmer, and milk goats for the rest of your life?”
“I’m going to Florida,” Melody stated with confidence. “I’m not sure what I am going to do there, but that’s where I belong. What are you going to do? Go back to Detroit?”
Becky held up another picture of Motley Crue and pointed to Vince. “I’m going to California,” she answered. “I’m gonna do this.”
“You’re gonna be in a band?” Melody asked unbelievably.
“No. I want to be a photographer,” Becky explained. “I’ll get press passes, backstage passes, all access passes... I’m gonna take pictures of all the rock stars and get them published in magazines all around the world. Not only do I get to meet all these guys, the rags will pay me top dollar!”
Melody sat and listened, becoming sincerely interested in Becky’s plans. The more Becky went on, the more exciting the life of a photographer sounded.
“Don’t you have to write articles too?” Melody asked.
“No, I don’t have to write, but maybe I can try that too. Who knows?”
As Becky and Melody went through the rest of the music magazines, Melody noticed the most popular bands had full page color pinup photographs in every issue. Besides the photographs there were record reviews, advice columns, song lyrics, advertisements, and contests. When they finished the last magazine, Becky piled them in a stack and placed them on Melody’s lap.
“These are all yours,” she said. “I cleaned out my closet and these are all the issues that I had two copies of. Now, please get some thumbtacks and hang some pictures up. This looks like a room at the nursing home.”
Becky then reached into her bag and placed three cassettes on top of Melody’s magazines. Becky had dubbed them from her own tapes, hoping to turn Melody away from Top 40, at least occasionally. Melody looked at the cassette tapes one at a time. The first one read, ‘Judas Priest/British Steel’, the next one read, ‘Motley Crue/Shout at the Devil’, and the third one was ‘Quiet Riot/Metal Health’. Melody thanked her and put everything aside. She was more interested in the women’s magazines now and did not want to hear about another band for the rest of the evening.
Becky gathered her stack of women’s magazines and tossed an issue to Melody. The cover featured a bikini clad blonde with headlines reading, ‘Make him Crazy in Bed’, and ‘How to Lose 10 Pounds in 30 Days’. As she turned the pages, Melody saw articles concerning oily, dry, and combination skin, how to make the most of her cleavage, the best sex positions, the latest fashions, best bathing suits for different body types, orgasms, and much more. This was a world that she, and probably her mother, knew nothing about. As Becky chattered away excitedly, Melody became aware that Becky was familiar with all the adult subject matter while she herself knew almost nothing. Melody still considered herself closer to being a girl than a woman, even though the mirror told her she was developing rapidly. Melody wondered if the other girls in her class knew about this stuff too, or if Becky was just too advanced for the small-town girls of Dowagiac.
After closing the magazine, Becky tossed a thick edition of Cosmopolitan onto her lap and scooted next to her. Melody opened it, and saw that most of the magazine was advertisements. The girls flipped though the issue together, occasionally giggling. They attempted to take a sex quiz, but Melody could not answer what she did not understand, and even Becky had to skip most of the questions. Then they went through the fashion section and pointed to different dresses they liked. Melody thought all the models were very beautiful as they posed in exotic settings.
“Oh, she’s pretty,” Melody said, pointing to a photo. “She looks a little like your mom.”
Becky turned the page without acknowledging the comment and continued talking as if she did not hear her. While Melody was mostly interested in basic makeup tips, Becky seemed obsessed with hairstyles. After going through all the issues, a small pile lay at their feet. Melody felt as if she had just been given a cram session on womanhood, although she thought it was a little silly for an eighth grader to read about attracting a co-worker without management taking notice.
“You can keep all these too. I don’t need them anymore,” Becky said. She was about to suggest her mother ought to read them too but held her tongue. “So, where’s your dad? I thought you said he was home on weekends.”
“Usually he is,” Melody admitted. “But his truck broke down and he’s stuck in Ohio waiting for repairs.”
“Do you like him?” Becky asked.
“Of course!” Melody said, surprised at such a silly question. “I love him. He’s my dad.”
“That’s cool. I don’t remember my father. I never knew him,” Becky admitted.
“What about your stepdad?” Melody asked. “How’s he?”
“Walt?” Becky replied with a cracked smile. “Ugh. I only wish that guy was gone all the time. He’s a creep.”
“Well at least you got your mom,” Melody said, trying to sound reassuring. “She’s seems nice, and she’s so beautiful.”
“Yeah she’s beautiful alright,” Becky said, throwing herself back on the mattress while keeping her feet on the floor. “That’s half her problem. The other half is, she’s easy.”
Melody was perplexed. She had never heard anyone speak of a parent in such a way. Yet again, Becky was the only girl she knew whose parents were divorced. Like the music and women’s magazines, this too was another world Melody knew nothing about. She looked over her shoulder to look at Becky’s face. Becky seemed undecided whether to continue.
Becky had shared a lot with Melody and considered her a close friend but was not sure if she was ready to give Melody a peek behind one of her curtains. It was not something Melody needed to know, but Becky didn’t want to keep it bottled up anymore. Sitting up suddenly, Becky said, “Melody, you have to promise me that you will never tell anyone this.”
Melody nodded her head and touched Becky’s shoulder to reassure her. “I won’t tell. I promise. Nothing leaves this room.”
Becky closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“My mother got pregnant with me when she was sixteen. So, do the math, she’s not even thirty. She dropped out of high school as soon as she began showing. Her parents were furious and told her to abort me, but instead, she married my father with his parents’ consent. While he was still in high school, she moved in with them because her own parents made life impossible for her. To this day I have never met them. After my dad graduated, he got a job at the auto plant just like everyone else. I was too young to know, and I don’t remember anything, but my parents did not make a good go of it. Finally, after two years, my father could not take it anymore. He abandoned us.”
“You mean he just left?” Melody asked, wide eyed in disbelief.
“Yeah,” Becky nodded. “I don’t remember him, but I do have a picture. Mom doesn’t even know about it. She thought she got rid of all his pictures, but I found one and have kept it a secret. I don’t know why I keep it. I don’t even know where he is.”
Melody tried to imagine her parents getting divorced and never seeing her father again. The thought was heartbreaking.
“My mom and I bounced around from house to house, finding any friend she could stay with, but nothing was ever permanent. We ended up at a homeless shelter run by a church. It was awful. There was no place to play and strangers would watch me while my mom was gone. We lived there until I was eight. All my clothes and shoes came from the donation bins. Kids at school knew who I was and where I lived. I was always in fights. Everybody made fun of me.”
Becky paused as sadness transformed her face. Melody put her hand on top of Becky’s and waited silently for her to continue.
“So, I guess it’s a good thing my mom is good in bed, because she landed Walt, even though she was homeless and had baggage. We moved in with him and he eventually married her. He lived across town, so I went to a new school. Even though I had a fresh start at school, I had all new problems at home. I refused to call Walt dad, and I would not let him touch me. I just wanted to be left alone, but Mom called me ungrateful and threatened to send me to an orphanage. She slapped me once when I refused to sign a Father’s Day card for him.”
“What?” Melody exclaimed. “Your own mother?”
Becky had tears in her eyes now. “You don’t understand, Melody.”
Melody had never seen Becky like this. She was always so confident and tough. Now, she was on her bed crying. Melody wanted tonight to be fun. She began blaming herself for ruining the evening by mentioning Becky’s mother.
Becky faced Melody and pleaded with her to understand. “Melody, ever since I can remember, all I have been to her is a burden. How would you feel knowing your very life was an accident? She uses every opportunity to remind me that I’m a mistake. Every time she gets mad or upset over anything at all, she brings it up and says if not for me, she could have been a model, a dancer, or whatever else she thinks up. She screwed her boyfriend in the back of a car and got knocked up, yet I’m to blame. She will never forgive me for something that wasn’t even my fault.”
“But she must love you, Becky,” Melody said, trying to be of some comfort. “She kept you when you were born and didn’t give you up for adoption.”
“She doesn’t love me, Melody! I wish she had put me up for adoption the day I was born! But as long as she has me, I’m her scapegoat. Without me, she has no excuse why she didn’t do anything with her life. Don’t you see? It’s so much easier for her to just say that she got pregnant at a young age and lost her opportunities while raising a baby as a high school dropout. In Detroit, she had everyone believing I was the reason she never amounted to anything. Fuck her!”
“You don’t get along with your mom or Walt at all?” Melody asked.
“I’m pretty much ignored. We are not a real family. It feels more like two people who are stuck with me. They clothe me and feed me, but there’s no love in the house. It’s just empty. That’s why I don’t invite you over. I don’t want you to see what it’s like. I’d much rather have what you have. I never want you to see what it’s like at my house.”
Becky could hold back no longer. She threw her arms around Melody and hugged her tight. Melody hugged her back and remained silent while Becky sobbed on her shoulder. Melody rocked Becky gently, trying her best to console her. Becky continued to cry but spoke softly. “I’ll show them. I’ll show them all. I’m going to be a famous Hollywood photographer and they can have their miserable lives in this hick town.” Becky slowly backed away from Melody and wiped her eyes with her hands. “No offense to all you goat milkers,” she smiled.
“None taken,” Melody smiled. “I don’t care what your mom thinks. I’m glad you’re here.”
Becky finished wiping her eyes, reached for her overnight bag, and began taking out makeup. She then picked up a copy of Cosmopolitan off the floor and stood up. “C’mon, take me to your bathroom.”
“What?” Melody asked.
“It’s time for your makeover. You owe me after making me watch that stupid movie.”
In the bathroom, Becky flipped through the magazine as Melody looked in the mirror. Except for Halloween, she had never worn makeup and was excited to see what she would look like. She rinsed her face with warm water and pulled her hair into a ponytail while she waited. Becky finally stopped turning pages after finding what she was looking for.
“I think I’ll try this. This will look good on you,” Becky said as she began sharpening an eyeliner pencil.
Melody stood patiently as Becky worked on her. The pencil tip near the bottom of her eye frightened her a little, but she trusted Becky and remained still. As Becky applied the cosmetics, she told Melody she had beautiful skin, lashes, and lips. Melody could only blush, not knowing how to answer such strange compliments. As Becky continued, she told Melody makeup was not that difficult once she had some practice.
“Just follow the instructions in the magazines,” she said. “A lot of them are step by step with pictures. It’s easy.” Becky finished Melody’s transformation with light pink lipstick. She took a step back, tilted her head and said, “All done! Take a look!”
Melody turned toward the mirror and saw a stranger looking back at her, an older girl, maybe sixteen or seventeen. In less than ten minutes, Becky had transformed her into someone who belonged on her own magazine cover. Becky reached over and pulled out the ponytail holder, allowing Melody’s hair to fall around her shoulders. It was the final touch that made Melody gasp.
“You’re gorgeous, Honey,” Becky said in awe. “Your daddy better start keeping a shotgun by the door.”
“My mother would never allow this,” Melody replied. “She’d never let me leave the house. If I went downstairs right now, she’d have a cow.”
“I’ll tell you a secret,” Becky said, looking at both their reflections over Melody’s shoulder. “Start off small. When we go to high school next year, just wear a little lip gloss. After a while, wear some eyeliner. By the time we’re seniors, you’ll be spending a half hour on your makeup every morning. Don’t worry about it right now. You’re just as beautiful without it. I swear, you have the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen.”
“Actually, I love yours,” Melody admitted.
“Oh, bullshit.”
“No! I’m serious!” Melody explained. “I’ve seen pictures of the Gulf of Mexico. The water down there is a beautiful green, just like your eyes… There’s nothing more beautiful than the ocean.”
Upon hearing that, Becky smiled. “You’re sweet, Melody. Sweet as candy.”
Melody smiled. “I’m glad you came over tonight.”
“Me too!”
After washing her face, Melody and Becky brushed their teeth together and returned to the bedroom to change. They had seen each other in the shower so many times at school, that they did not mind changing in the same room together. Melody put on her pajamas and got into bed. She saw Becky get into her sleeping bag wearing nothing but a bra and panties. Melody assumed it was because the sleeping bag would get awfully warm for her. Melody wondered if it was right to allow her guest to sleep on the floor. She considered using the sleeping bag herself and offer Becky her bed. As she thought this over, she heard Becky wish her goodnight in a sleepy voice.
Around 3AM, Becky woke up and had momentarily forgotten where she was. After looking around curiously, she remembered she was in Melody’s room. Becky thought about what she had told Melody this evening and decided not to regret it. She would have had to tell her sooner or later anyway. She was a little mad at herself for crying in front of Melody, but with a little more thought, she supposed it was no big deal. Becky lay indecisively for a few more minutes, then finally uncovered herself. The sleeping bag had not been zipped, so she got out of it easily and without a sound.
Becky rolled over onto her belly, then crawled on all fours. As she approached Melody’s bed, she slowly moved into a crouching position. In the moonlight, coming in from the window, Becky could see Melody sleeping on her back with her head nestled in a soft pillow. Becky paused a moment, watching Melody’s chest rise with every breath. She then stood up and took a step towards the bed. Becky was unsure if she really wanted to go through with what she had been thinking of doing ever since she laid her head on Melody’s shoulder. She remembered how soft Melody’s hair was, how good it felt on her cheek, and the protective feeling of her arms holding her. Becky took another step, ready to fall to the floor if Melody moved, even in the slightest. This naive, small-town girl was the only person in the world she cared about now. This girl, who could skateboard past a crowd of boys without knowing the attention she drew, was stealing her heart. This girl, who had never heard of Motley Crue, who had never worn makeup, and actually got along with her parents, was constantly on her mind. Becky took small quiet steps until her legs were touching the side of Melody’s mattress.
Becky stood over Melody while peering down at her. In her eyes, she was a perfect, sleeping angel. She stared at her hard, wanting the image burned forever into her memory. Quivering with both anticipation and fright, Becky raised her arms to pull back her hair and held it tightly in her left fist. Shaking now, Becky hoped for instant death if Melody woke up. How could she ever explain herself, standing over her in nothing but her underwear, lurking like a psycho?
Becky leaned down without ever taking her eyes off Melody’s closed eyelids. She knew it was crazy, but if she didn’t do it, she’d never get back to sleep. As her own face drew closer to Melody’s, she held her breath. Becky felt a pain in her chest as her heart pounded like a hammer. She could not tell if she was sweating, but when her lips were an inch away from Melody’s, she felt her face flush. With her knees shaking, Becky kissed Melody. She savored the softness of Melody’s slightly parted lips and bravely pressed down harder with her own. Suddenly overcome with fright, Becky raised her head. She fled, retreating to the safety of her sleeping bag. She covered herself completely, even her head. After a few minutes, Becky uncovered herself down to her waist and saw that Melody had not stirred. She had gotten away with it. Becky let out a sigh of relief and silently congratulated her own bravery as she drifted off to sleep with a smile. She had given Melody her first kiss, and nothing could ever change that.
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