Dear Tom,
Hi. It's me.
I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know what to say. This letter has been on my heart for a while, and I think I have the guts to do it now.
I just don't know where to start.
I'll just be honest and start from the beginning.
It was just friendship at the beginning. Just you and me and a pile of dirt when you turned to me and promised to marry me. But we were just kids. Only six years old. Do you expect a six year old boy to do anything different?
And then you left. I know it isn't your fault. It was your parents choice. But I missed you. Those five years were the longest of my life. I no longer had that friend to play with. To listen to me.
But the first time I saw you after those five years, I didn't know what to do. There you were, standing in the hallway, staring right back at me. You were now twelve years old.
I remember passing you notes during school, laughing and pushing each other around. We came up with nicknames for each other. You called me Donut. And I called you Tom. I acted like I hated the nickname, but I adored every time you called me that.
But things were different then. We were just kids.
Then we were teenagers. And things changed. Now all you wanted to do was hang out with the older boys. And win every sport competition you entered. There I was on the sideline, cheering you on, wondering if you even noticed me any more. If you remember how things used to be.
It was when we were sixteen, that I felt things start to change. Suddenly, you were there. Right by my side. Laughing and joking with me like how things used to be. But it wasn't the same.
You were the popular team captain of every sport, and then there was me. Just me.
Why were you hanging out with me even though you knew it would decrease your popularity points?
Seventeen was when you told me. We were at a summer camp. You just grabbed my hand and led me out onto a bridge over a creek. You turned to me and looked me right in the eyes.
I love you.
That was all you said.
I started to cry. You just held my face and said it again.
I love you.
How could you love me? Why would you love me?
We have a lot of expectations put on us from the people around us. I didn't believe you really loved me. It was just that everyone around us thought you did, so you really started to believe it.
That is why I ran. I ran to the other side of the country to get away from you.
I wanted you to live your beautiful life without me to hold you back. Maybe if I wasn't there, you could listen to your true calling, not what everyone was saying.
Maybe you really did love me when we were kids. Maybe I really did love you when we were kids. But that is the thing. We were just kids.
But now, five years after I ran, I want to come back.
Maybe you no longer love me anymore. Maybe I no longer love you anymore.
But, Tom, I can't go on any farther in my life without you.
Yours,
Donut
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