To my crush:
I get why they call it a crush. It’s like my feelings for you are crushing down on me, like the pressure is building up. Every time I look at you, let alone think of you, my knees get weak, my palms get sweaty, and I forget the English language.
I’ve had crushes before, but honestly I don’t think I knew what love meant until I met you. Every single one of my crushes has failed miserably. I’ve had three before you. They don’t compare to how I feel for you.
When you’re around me, it’s like I’m at peace. I just know you’re ok, and that I have time with you.
When you said goodbye today after tennis, my heart dropped into my feet. I wonder if you saw the look on my face. You avoided eye contact, balancing a ball on your racket. So many words needed to come out of me, but all I said was “see ya.” I almost cried right then and there.
I wish you know how many times I replay our talks in my head. How they make me smile for no reason.
Youre the one I think about in bed, who I fantasize my life with, and the worst think is, I know you aren’t doing the same. I’m sure there’s some other girl you have your eye on. I bet she’s 17, like you. I bet she’s really good at tennis. I bet she’s everything I’m not.
Oh well. At least I’ll have our summer memories. Maybe they are irrelevant to you, but they mean the world to me. Just like you do.
From Me, the hopelessly hopeful 💕
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