九月有如夏天的殘溫,熾熱依舊。
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而在高溫肆虐下,一群學生還得擠在空調故障的禮堂,觀看無聊的反毒宣導,可說是生不如死的體驗。
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腦袋被熱氣蒸得昏沉,柳思堇低頭抱膝,意識朦朧。耳邊充斥同學的躁動,台下紛紛湧出怨言,台上的人卻絲毫不理會,繼續呆板的活動流程。
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「近年來,『啞德(Yaad)』的通路流入校園,成為未成年族群最容易接觸的毒品。」主任黃教官手握麥克風,唸出開場詞,「為了徹底實施反毒宣導,我們請來台北地檢署緝毒專組的梁若玄檢察官,來跟我們分享毒品的相關問題。」
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「謝謝王教官。」
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一名身穿紫邊黑領長袍,一頭俐落鮑伯頭的女性接過麥克風,沉穩地導入,「各位同學好,我目前任職於北檢,主要負責緝毒相關⋯⋯」
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關於新興毒品的存在,早佔據近幾個月的新聞版面,不想知道也難。為了防止毒化校園,政府要求各校戒慎恐懼,實施掃毒政策。
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「根據《毒品危害防制條例》,啞德被列為三級毒品。」
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「針對國高中校園,非法藥物的取得對象,主要以『同儕』和『藥頭/毒販』各佔近40%,藥丸呈花朵形狀,透明帶粉色,因此,常被以為是糖果而誤食。」
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「而大專院校中,常見的是食用啞德製成的墊子煙彈,販毒份子謊稱可合法取代大麻,讓學生趨之若鶩嚐鮮,釀成終生悲劇。」
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柳思堇用錢包裡僅剩的五十元打賭,大家寧願去有冷氣的教室上微積分,也不要聽這些無趣的介紹。
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說實際點,對真正會濫用毒品的人,宣導根本毫無用處,沒有找到源頭並阻斷,根本於事無補。
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好想睡啊⋯⋯
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除了燥熱與乏味,她想快點離開的還有,還有一個——
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巫祈海並不在這裡。
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開學後,她升上三年級,應考為重,大部份的活動都被改為自習,理當不會出席。
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柳思堇歪頭,腦中浮現那晚在頂樓的畫面。已過去一週,仍心存餘悸。
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親吻之後,直到離開學校前,兩人一路牽手,卻沉默不語。柳思堇並不會流手汗,卻反常地感覺掌心濕潤,心跳強烈到似乎能開膛而逃。
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她知道那不是尷尬,是緊張、生澀、心動、激動等情感綜合體。
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分別後,兩人沒再見面,只有訊息上的「交流」。與想像中的熱戀情侶不同,巫祈海如往久久回一次訊息,甚至還向老師一樣,監督起自己的暑假作業進度。
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柳思堇並不希望聽到甜言蜜語,或者說,這種無關緊要的對話,更令她安心。在容易迷失的年紀,她並不想要誇誕的山盟海誓,成為彼此的束縛。
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而且,光用文字,是不夠的。
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柳思堇覺得自己一定是被熱到失魂,才會想每分每秒觸碰對方。
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記憶中的巫祈海肌膚柔軟,雙唇冰涼保有彈性,接吻時會發出帶有鼻音的低吟,只要稍用力,就能感覺她渾身發顫,一切都是那麼誘人⋯⋯
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「欸!柳思堇,妳最近不遲到了耶!」
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沉浸回味之際,有人拍了下肩膀,柳思堇渾身一震,「靠!嚇死我了!」
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徐梓庭好奇地瞪大眼,「看妳暑假作業也乖乖寫,難道升二年級想改邪歸正了?」
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哈,還不是因為有個斯巴達教練⋯⋯
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柳思堇本不想多提,卻被表情出賣了。
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「幹嘛傻笑啊?」見眼前的人滿面春風,徐梓庭皺眉,「妳該不會吸毒了吧?」
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「哦?可能吧⋯⋯?」柳思堇恍惚地喃喃自語,「嘿嘿嘿,吸了太多幸福的毒⋯⋯」
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「徐梓庭跟那個誰!不要講悄悄話!」
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風紀股長一聲有如轟天雷,柳思堇趕緊轉頭,一邊心想都二年級了,還不記得自己叫什麼嗎⋯⋯真是邊緣到連校狗都不如⋯⋯
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此時,台上正在進行最後的問答環節,梁若玄檢察官從箱子裡一抽,清晰朗讀紙條上的字,「二年仁班,37號。」
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⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯
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一顆懸著的心,最終還是死了。
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周圍再度騷動,見目光紛紛投射在身上,柳思堇緩緩起身,無語地低聲碎念,「靠北,這就是墨魚定律嗎⋯⋯」
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徐梓庭在後方吐槽,「是墨菲定律啦。」
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「隨便!煩死了!」
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「37號在哪裡!快點上來!」
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無處可退,柳思堇迅速跑上台。
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站定位後,梁檢察官將麥克風湊近,「同學,妳叫什麼名字?」
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「柳⋯⋯柳思堇。」
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下一秒,未曾謀面的人卻皺起眉,眼中閃過一絲錯愕。
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⋯⋯為什麼一副看到鬼的樣子?
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「很特別的名字呢。」短暫停頓後,檢察官繼續提問,「那麼,請問下列哪個選項,不是食用啞德後產生的副作用?A:噁心頭暈嘔吐,B:呼吸困難、反應遲緩,C:思想與記憶混亂,D:以上皆是。」
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自封猜題大王的柳思堇,二話不說回答,「D。」
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「回答正確。」檢察官從口袋拿出一包糖果遞上,「來,這是送妳的小禮物。」
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像星星一樣五顏六色的,柳思堇立刻認出是日本的金平糖。
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沒想到還能跟運氣沾上邊,原先低落的心情,瞬間好轉不少。問答結束,整個活動也告一段落,柳思堇順著隊伍往禮堂外走去,拎著糖果的手雀躍搖擺,迫不及待想要跟巫祈海分享。
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「柳同學。」
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才準備要跨過門檻,就被人喊住。柳思堇回過頭,眼前是梁若玄檢察官。
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「剛剛在台上忘記給了。」她笑著送上兩張票券,「還有電影票,也是禮物。」
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「謝謝。」
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「看樣子,妳有好好長大呢。」
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顧盯著電影票,柳思堇沒聽清,「嗯?」
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梁若玄再度眉頭一皺,露出困惑的神情。
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「我——」
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「柳思堇!」
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另一個熟悉的嗓音打斷詭異的氣氛,柳思堇還沒回神,熟悉的濃厚香水味溢滿鼻腔。
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「妳班導在喊人!還不趕快去!」
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⋯⋯范老師怎麼在這?又在當薪水小偷嗎?
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「哎呀,不好意思,沒看到妳們在說話。」范歆雙手一攤,站在梁若玄前方,露出親和的笑容,「不過,梁檢查官,這樣霸佔一個學生寶貴的時間,有點太過份了吧?」
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梁若玄也以笑容回覆,「我只是把獎品還給她而已,耗時不到三分鐘,說不上霸佔吧?」
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此時,柳思堇耳邊傳來范歆的悄語:「快溜。」
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要說自己有什麼與生俱來的能力,柳思堇能肯定地說,就是看眼色和高速落跑。
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於是,她拔腿就跑。
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而她不曉得的是,背過身的瞬間,兩人臉色勃然一變,如臨仇家般,冷眼相覷。
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✦
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結果,范歆只是在唬人。
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班導根本沒找,還莫名挨訓了一頓。柳思堇的心情曲線,再次墜入谷底。
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轉眼來到放學時間,學生們成群結隊,走廊間人聲鼎沸。她一邊聽著徐梓庭抱怨打工,心思早已飄向遠方。
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夏堇開花後,需要照顧的次數變少了,兩人也沒有明確講好分工,就連今天巫祈海是否會出現在頂樓,也是未知數。
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經過幾天觀察,花吐症沒再復發,但誰也無法篤定它已百分百痊癒。柳思堇偶爾會感覺胸口被一陣莫名的燥熱盤踞,不曉得是不是後遺症。
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繼續亂想,感覺又要每下愈況,還是先當錯覺好了⋯⋯
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低頭望著新鞋,柳思堇承認自己犯賤,回家查了價位後,拉高了焦慮值。想給巫祈海同等的回報,目前卻沒有能力。
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要好好打工才行⋯⋯嗎?
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還是乾脆畢業後就去工作,早點開始賺錢吧?但文憑是基本的時代,一定得上大學吧?考得上嗎?要選什麼科系呢?要做什麼呢?208Please respect copyright.PENANAmyvBji5RfC
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——我到底,想成為什麼樣的人呢?208Please respect copyright.PENANAphbsSK0BFj
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沒想到才跨過一個學年,煩惱就增殖了。208Please respect copyright.PENANABkVbnfn960
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「然後啊,我姊她竟然——」208Please respect copyright.PENANAw7WgvXW5Wb
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無心聽徐梓庭抱怨手足,柳思堇埋頭苦惱,餘光一晃,映入熟悉的身影。208Please respect copyright.PENANA11O2lZIGH3
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整天朝思暮想的人,正從走廊對向走來。208Please respect copyright.PENANAtzFYXWAswG
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⋯⋯該裝作不認識吧?208Please respect copyright.PENANADUpIePU7Rr
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設想千方百計後,柳思堇最終選擇看向一旁的窗戶,打算就這麼交錯。但就在擦肩而過的瞬間,一陣強烈的疼痛,從腳踝處綻放。208Please respect copyright.PENANAnns05pXWFQ
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「——!」208Please respect copyright.PENANA381OGwtkh6
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柳思堇發出無聲的吶喊,飛快蹲下,幸好沒一屁股落地。208Please respect copyright.PENANA0Jsz3TTGVN
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「欸?柳思堇妳在幹——」徐梓庭欲言又止,頓時態度一改,朝眼前的人鞠躬,「學、學姐好!」208Please respect copyright.PENANAz8X0XomrVO
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「不好意思,我有點恍神,才不小心撞到了。」巫祈海彎身,朝按揉腳踝的柳思堇伸手,「還好嗎?有哪裡受傷嗎?」208Please respect copyright.PENANA2ds6lgvNI9
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——什麼不小心啊!是故意踹的吧!208Please respect copyright.PENANAg3zYh9qpdC
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柳思堇憑卓越的動態視力看見了。重疊的瞬間,巫祈海確實伸出了無影腳。208Please respect copyright.PENANAzaoI3dm0rR
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沒搭住她的手,柳思堇一手撐地,準備起身,「哦,是沒受傷⋯⋯」208Please respect copyright.PENANAt27xZO0R6V
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「學妹,不要逞強。」巫祈海卻突然扶了上來,滿臉擔憂,「很嚴重吧,得去趟保健室才行。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAYUs07Y9I2v
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「啊?沒有啊?」柳思堇無法理解,嘗試轉著腳踝,「還能動啊?」208Please respect copyright.PENANATktxKTDTgT
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「⋯⋯⋯⋯」208Please respect copyright.PENANA6kHxrvAFB9
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從巫祈海目光中隱現的冷意,柳思堇才搞清楚意圖。208Please respect copyright.PENANAXVgEQCv8wh
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於是,她立刻軟下膝蓋,以媲美國小生的彆腳演技,發出一連串呆板的哀嚎,「啊啊啊!痛死我了!不行了!學姐!請幫幫我吧!拜託!」208Please respect copyright.PENANAuGbqbMPZ1E
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「情況危急,我先帶她離開。」巫祈海望向呆滯的徐梓庭,露出和善的微笑,「學妹先離開吧。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAvVLwiUdLOj
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「⋯⋯好,那我先走了。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAfA4CE7iO7l
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徐梓庭從視線離開後,突發鬧劇總算結束。見她似乎有話想說,柳思堇便順著走,最後來到偏僻的樓梯間,兩人一上一下,中間相隔三個階梯的距離。208Please respect copyright.PENANAjEH7RNCEQy
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巫祈海背著身,語氣是與方才完全不同的低沉,「她是誰?」208Please respect copyright.PENANAWfRzT3Ay9z
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柳思堇愣了半晌,才知道是指徐梓庭,「同班同學而已。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAgIFc9JwtbX
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「為什麼要裝沒看到我?」208Please respect copyright.PENANAlowK58LFad
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⋯⋯原來她早就看見了啊?208Please respect copyright.PENANAqA7YWoOdGp
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「呃,就⋯⋯感覺不太適合?」沒想到被看破手腳,柳思堇有些支支吾吾,「人那麼多,感覺被看見學姐跟我交⋯⋯有交情,可能會引起一些討論。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAzb9D0iC20o
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「妳在意?」208Please respect copyright.PENANA0Amc4Tqxp7
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「⋯⋯如果是針對我說閒話,我不在意。」柳思堇搔搔頭,「但,針對學姐的話,我無法忍受。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAnefLljdQLO
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「我會讓他們閉嘴的。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAFKnuk6EMcy
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「喂,別使用暴力。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAsJMCEhcaD6
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「當然不會。」巫祈海轉過身,勾起資本主義的笑容,「是用錢堵住他們的嘴。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAGILNeMFFts
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「那也算一種暴力好嗎!」208Please respect copyright.PENANAv9ceou3xUq
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「總之,不用擔心妳的行為會造成影響,自然就好。」巫祈海平靜地歪頭,「我也會自然面對妳。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAOke5bLOAKn
208Please respect copyright.PENANAb7WR9x7s8j
「⋯⋯妳指的自然,就是在走廊上用力踹我一腳嗎?」208Please respect copyright.PENANAhyE6zqLhCx
208Please respect copyright.PENANAJi9dOw39pp
「我瞄準的是妳的鞋口。」巫祈海往腳底一指,「依這雙鞋子的材質,妳不會輕易受傷。」208Please respect copyright.PENANATOPmvgzoEx
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靠!果然是故意的!208Please respect copyright.PENANAvszq4W4NAe
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時近傍晚,窗外一片橙黃。放學鐘聲再度響起,儼然不該再繼續逗留。208Please respect copyright.PENANABjXXLYmJ1a
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柳思堇低下頭沉思,脖頸間的燥熱依舊。208Please respect copyright.PENANADlFOCqtWom
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察覺這股低落,巫祈海低頭詢問,「怎麼了?不開心?」208Please respect copyright.PENANAtbRcaj3Pf6
208Please respect copyright.PENANA3AyOdu9xHj
柳思堇抬頭,嘗試表達內心的複雜,「哦,不是不開心,就是有些⋯⋯可惜吧⋯⋯」208Please respect copyright.PENANACGOjdDAX2H
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「可惜?」208Please respect copyright.PENANA7QZ6nrVrf5
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「一想到之後能見面的時間不多,就覺得⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯」208Please respect copyright.PENANAJqNnjTn5DS
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她突然意識到,這話十分偏頗。巫祈海是應考生,正值人生重要的轉捩點,而自己只考慮戀愛上的心情,確實有些自私又幼稚了。208Please respect copyright.PENANAwF3vEnqaKp
208Please respect copyright.PENANAy8rk7LKCgC
「啊,這是我單方面的想法,學姐聽聽就好。」思及此,柳思堇立刻補述,聲音漸弱,「現在應該要思考更重要的事才對,哈哈,我又在逃避⋯⋯」208Please respect copyright.PENANAwuEdsmhnLy
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「我也覺得可惜。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAl4qJx8haxa
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柳思堇睜大眼,「哦?」208Please respect copyright.PENANAoa4D6rXcSi
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巫祈海紫灰色的雙眼一瞇,「不,是到可恨的程度。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAgHFfH8zbz4
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「⋯⋯哦?」208Please respect copyright.PENANAMiEb5DNrHn
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「無法在放學之後見到妳。」巫祈海走下階梯,一鼓作氣拉近兩人距離,雙手一攬,將唇貼往對方的耳畔,「這非常可恨。」208Please respect copyright.PENANA9IekPLp0yE
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「所⋯⋯所以?」208Please respect copyright.PENANAhUgbYnfjwK
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不通風的走廊間,肌膚不斷分泌汗液,柳思堇極力調適呼吸。這時她才發現,巫祈海的後背包上,掛著自己送的骷髏頭吊飾。208Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1yL3LjME7
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遠處嘈雜的人聲漸遠,一切彷彿被按了靜音鍵,只留下她低沉沙啞的音軌。208Please respect copyright.PENANAEGf6Eq8scm
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「來我家吧。」208Please respect copyright.PENANAFdyDlkZGnc
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柳思堇蜷緊手指,難耐地在內心咆哮。208Please respect copyright.PENANAzwOoU5aZMV
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——最可恨的,是這句話才對啊!208Please respect copyright.PENANA8OFrlFmyyf
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