Gilayn Wang is flabbergasted. Phayak has been dwelling on this guilt from fourteen to thrity two. He knew Phayak couldn't fall asleep anywhere else besides hi home , which wasn't the Chen Mansion. He had moved to the showroom at that time. Gilayn thought his best friend was simply fed up with his Pa nagging and it was near his school and college... Apparently , Yi couldn't go home out of guilt
When Phayak was engaged to the younger guy and move out of his place Gilayn thought he didnt like Khun Diaw and that the engagement was against his will. However , his action implied other wise. If he had no feelings for Khun Diaw , he could make the younger guy stay somewhere else. Despite the multiple rooms in his apartment , he chose to leave.
What kind of madman kicked him selft out of his own home... the only place he could put himself to sleep? Besides , he moved to the condominium project nearby , only five hundred meters away. HE could see the roof of the show room from the window
"I thought i'd feel better and be able to deal with it , but couldn't look at him. The image of Lele jumping on him is still vivid in my mind. The sight of him panicking at the hospital , when he woke up and asked who i was... Its been eighteen years , yet i still dream about it."
"Its okay , Yi. Its okay. I get it."
If the incident had occurred when Phayak Chen was older than that , he would have managed and delat with it better. It couldn't be helped that Yi was only fourteen when it happened. He was a boy , and Nong Diaw was only seven. To Gilayn Wang , the seven year old Nu Kuea looked so soft that he feared he might hurt the little boy if he wasn't careful. If he almost put Nu Kuea to his death... he would be no different. Child hood traumas are impactful
"Listen , you have to forgive yourself. Lele is gone. I know how much you loved Lele , and i believe it understood. You didnt mean to hurt it. Yi , the person who's still with you right now is Khun Diaw , if you dont forgive yourself , how can you start a new with him?
"Im afraid he will remember everything if i stay with him. Im afraid Diaw will remember Lele. Im afraid he will remember when i shot Lele and got him showered in blood. Im afraid those things will come back and hurt Diaw the way they've done to me for eighteen years"
Gilayn Wang feels like punching his friend in the face , but this state is already pathetic as it is. Phayak is still Phayak. Even when he talks about himself , his expression remains unchanged , but his eyes are dead as if he is soulless. Had Gilayn not been his best friend for all his life , he wouldn't have been able to tell he was sorrowful...
Its such a strict love that Yi barely expresses his emotions. The older he gets , the more Gilayn nearly forgets his high school friend who laughed a lot more often. Phayak used to be the wild gang leader with cheeky and playful side
"Khun Diaw has forgotten it Yi. Its been so long. Eighteen years. He must have forgotten it all , and you should too. Half your life waste is long enough. Yi... if you cant really forget it , just pretend."
"Pretend?"
"Yeah. its been eighteen years. The seven year old Nong Diaw is gone , so is the fourteen year old Phayak. Focus on this moment , the present. You are Phayak Chatdecha Chen , the owner of the number one car dealership in the country. You're not the same person who couldn't take care of Nong Diaw. Give your current self the man right here , a chance Give yourself a chance okay?"
"Will i be able to do it...? He doesnt love me the way Nu Khuea as always loved you."
A realtionship cant be formed in one day. Phayak has always been jealous of his friend for having memories with Kuea Keerati since they were young until now. They are never strangers to each other. None of them is left in the lost memories
Phayak feels like his relationship with Tacha has ended since that incident. He still stands there , never stepping out
"Let it be the matter of tomorrow. Love can't bloom when two people are apart. You barely know him. You didn't even know he was strong enough to throw you down. You don't know what he thinks , his social circle or his lifestyle. Like wise he doesnt know what you think , what you do , or what kind of friends you have. How can people who barely know about each other fall in love?"
Gilayn Wang inhales the smoke into his lung , displeased with the fact that he learned about Yi's trauma this late. If yi had told him , he would have tried to help long ago. If he had pushed Yi to revealit .... he would have know long ago. What kind of shitty best friend is he?
"The seven year old Khun Diaw you knew and the twenty five year old Khun Diaw... can't be the same. People change every day. Be a new person. Both you and Khun Diaw can start over. Nu Kuea and I weren't the same people we had been either , but i tried. I tried to know Nu Kuea and let Nu Kuea know me. You have to give him the hard sell."
Phayak smiles at his friend's passionate advice. His situation must be similar to Lian's years ago. Phayak isnt stupid. He's just too blind to see the big picture of his problem , but from an outsider's point of view... He admits he's never thought of it this way. He'll give Lian's method a try
"You're so into this."
"Yeah. I am. I'll flirt with him for you at this rate. How fucking unfortunate of me to be your best friend. Well , im not surprised. Who else would be your friend except me...? I wish to be your best man , you know , the way you held the box of my wedding ring with a grumpy face. The guests must have wondered if you were my best man or enemy."
"What if i can't sell myself? Im not a smooth talker like you. You're fucking good at it. I don't even know what i should say to him first."
"Fortune favors the bold , dude. Even if you're not good at talking , try it anyway. Even if you dont know how to express your feelings with actions , try it anyway. If you're at your wit's end , write an essay. Use some tactics. Be cunning. Bring out all flirting skills. If he's not interested in your hard sell , offer him promotions. I mean , you can sell your cars with a zero down payment. Just give him extra tires and a warranty. Offer him extra whatever. Suffer from a bit loss is better than gaining nothing."
The cheeky smile of Phayak's best friend cracks him up. He lifts his eyebrow to ask if LIan did this when he pursued Nu Kuean , and his best friend raises his eyebrow as the answer... A prideful man like Gilayn Wang could even pull that off
"There is no win or lose in this situation. No pride involved. So what if you have to grovel like a dog? If being a dog means you get your lover , be a dog. I think dogs score higher than you. Yi , you were the one who told me how messed up the Wongteerawits were . If you let Diaw go , he'll have to return to those people."
Phayak grinds his cigaretter on Starbucks coffee cup again. He raises his sprained lef wrist and runs his fingers through his hair. He's aware that its time to make a decision because Tacha has chosen to leave him. If he doenst do anything he'll have to let Tacha go for real. And where will the younger guy be if not his home full of greedy people?
He still remembers when Tacha father pointed at his face and blamed him for Tacha's memory loss. That family demanded a large amount of maintenance , living. allowance , medical expenses and indemnity. His pa paid for those things willingly and even offered them a better option , The Chens would sponsor Tacha to live abroad
Phayak didnt know what his Pa was thinking back then , but the little boy's father accepted the offer. The tuition fee of the old school in England and the image of their family were more than worth it... When Phayak grew older , he learned Pa didnt want the little boy to grow up in a house full of selfish people
"When Nong DIaw marries you , the Chens will become his home. Better spearate him from the Wongteerawits right now so he won't get attached"
It might have started with Pa's adoration towards the little boy and his long term plan in the future... but they both know they will cut the Wongteerawits off someday. When that times comes , Tacha will have become his person... How can he let Khun Diaw go back home at this rate?
"OKay."
"What?"
"I'll start again. I'll pretend to forget as you suggested."
"Yeah , forget everything , go crazy do whatever you want. Dont think of anything else , Yi. Just think of yourself. That way , you wont be stressed over what you have said on the day you have an episode."
He has no idea to what extent he can try , but he will go all out as Lian has told him to. This is not about winning or losing , though he feels totally defeated
"Its not only that i want to start over. Now you're mentioned it , I realized there is something to take care of."
"What is it?"
"I didn't crash the car because of my carelessness. Something was wrong with my Ferrari. I've been with cars all my life. Im sure someone tampered with it. And there is one group of people that keeps messing with me."
"The Wongteerawits."
The two best friends hold each other's gazes and exchange a sly smile. The plan to fake having amnesia is bit thoughtless , but things will be easy to deal with once the news about his amnesia spreads. He won't have to care about anyone because he can't remember them. Being responsible for the business issues as the leader of the Chens is one thing. His problem with Khun Diaw is another. Its time to deal with everything once and all
Phayak sits up. He has to get out of the hospital for real this time despite his unrecovered body. There are heaps of problem to fix. He doesnt know that they're planning right now. As if they can fucking succeed.
"Where are you going?"
"Since you're so nosy , go and get me discharged. Tell the doctors to keep my condition a secret. I'm a grow up , so i don't need to report my health to my guardian. Other wise the doctors can see me in court."
Gilayn Wang shakes his head at his best friend's familiar manners. The way he tauntingly lifts his eyebrow. Puts on a condescending smile , gets cranky , and acts like the world is under his control is proof that this is the real Yi. He only lowers his pride when it comes to his Nong Diaw
"Which house are you going back to?"
He kicks the leg of his best friend's chair with his long leg the patient gown. Why is he asking the obvious question?
"You fucking house , maybe? Im going back to the showroom"
ns 15.158.61.54da2
