89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhMOzOYqEd
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOL9Dn4HYq
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKW95y45CVn
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXidm5gklVM
「咁耐嘅？」他問。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb2eIr8LaN
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPyLhmdXJC
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zDevx7WRg
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTukHydLw6J
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfS7PFSzQC
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9x8AXlYQy
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvmHm65uHK
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqftYmip1V2
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnJkZDbRGK
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHIzRMJyU8
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8CwFP0ExA
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOZOQZPczk
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLX8ODA30C
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDwFUAQWWK
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8iXagKlTP
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZldyrjqZj
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ako89L6GV
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbyPV8QD82
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNojsDNNNu
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEO4XY21im
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4fqj9yz9I
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeB04HG4BZ
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vXrpZHsZ6
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYcr95yu8Y
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnPCupG4Xa
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHvQeWwYds
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xeTfrAzZK
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqSgSJ38F5
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmlQ3JnxiD
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQTbTx8Yc8
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMljQygQVb
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWQZG2vhUM
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4QJbuqnhu
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj8uzMuXKm
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeFYEiSs8o
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19v1a8sc0M
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuY5W829N56
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEVvwG68Hj
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriBLWUlzXP
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡene2NsVzLO
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiHPkNyh9S
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3PyIfqXCq
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvHIV60gFG
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡph23aG4Ken
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79AIr1N1Lx
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qAqXhtcAp
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QjNmB8UVJ
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDUBi1Hj35
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lh34u3Che
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRsMrYqeGm
「點解咁講？」我問。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDV3RmpK2G
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfn0LiylhNe
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhN8rn0sKl
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iMzKmSPpi
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RN7CsPjH2
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9iTJvyQZU
「唔會，我唔會接受。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVxqA8SkYZ
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1UVwmBH27
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DZQnuxPfl
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPQpzVsxfM
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcYyQx1pq1
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6w4rEza1Y
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMOb4ID7kA
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpl2I0yZ5x
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmTzi7w4Hh
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqH5CoYCVM
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonM4IEOZhK
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppmnD5g2Lc
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCEnbf68tL
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0sg8Mwu8n
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0qU7eK4bx
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQ7WDLhNGD
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnpxz9fkXK
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PFe9Eqr4C
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7A5Ur1leXW
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5PLTl555a
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAeKHEe5Vy
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzjbAksMdl
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacYrTjDDjN
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhL4RuEwVzB
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3sVPs7OK3
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjR0KhUIEDr
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLxcuSWpny
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbDcQBEA2C
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8RyuILSjs
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcLJAVSJkh
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEnC9vBEMd
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bVsi6qjHu
我為未發生的事情擔憂。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbvJUZMTak
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEjASa3dif
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOwq26ehPN
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOU65L9ocX
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlh0VgGCcG4
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fNCPWP97L
「無呀。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRfH3SIBIr
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGVPO438Xf
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRhux9pRlU
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPK2YHLvWy
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcSpbdC5JZ
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLv3qqdx5X
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DewN7noe6
89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykep03jhxi
難過。89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5X9Dyyha6
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