145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicpEINp5fZ
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWoCA4GeeJ
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aGB3MVQFC
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFyBBk68e8
「咁耐嘅？」他問。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOHDsDl2Ai
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTFnnTOfo2
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4a8AunCuWM
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvCKPxTxhA
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4cQWRU30J
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNxESJBTNi
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9WaC4FjMp
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSO4xs236H
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDVyxdAOok
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡew3qqo6e0S
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpspEyg5Pe9
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMFaJYZsUH
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQjsBdRJRc
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLU0IWhjYro
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZztv9GVkK1
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTZChPv4C0
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPCm8WnhAw
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeFGzwn389
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQ2iL5MHqE
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkkvnhUNOy
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZUWNZxDfg
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7AUdLP51L
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2MGq3vTHn
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrSquWY9oy
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvScxOItzQ
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdjgDCH8KU
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3ZfU8ErQM
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4F10k2xtqo
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4H940ESqD
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVl6iTYortY
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkB20I78OrN
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyc1J2urPB0
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XnQlwqCVr
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEbEWaeuAD
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Re1rqPtLK
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDEyg1d1eY
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EmhaKokrj
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ByU2RA5CO
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbJezAkRsd
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwHIMJPh2T
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpVL0nFWA5
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQTw9INE1T
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93CEDekffa
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIU2zxWSvv
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTy0rYP5xK
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86G31rPXvE
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJziJY60PVt
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPE2Z3P7VKK
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYUcDVFULw
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBO9rHjEi6b
「點解咁講？」我問。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdksM5GRyNg
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXettNoK4Nh
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtXcCIToyf
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRSSZdXpCc
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVWjRNpAdg
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEfApDwfuR
「唔會，我唔會接受。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSnXCzPRti
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUGOONVsiA
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpkBHiWfP2
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTgNz4adky
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLVwVVQf10
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY69zOUa1TL
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkCpa2FGOd
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4C0uOVItGY
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbpbReTAJr
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjOUbJfdaP
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11V6kArDQI
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXAvxPNNtt
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qqPZUW4st
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXYbjZBQ5F
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxe0X4o9GU9
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumCQ7iBFFF
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvm3yrOayZi
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOobHbfyPz
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49k3IN915b
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZL8TkcXKi
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jsCzS74QW
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlmjPGSTqa
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElwuX9OYhJ
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLFaZPfTsf
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgCgojDGBy
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6l2jONwgVX
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwmZBbFvqN
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGXNQ6C0Xk
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbjTElrgZk
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFs6KsZ2fs
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4HYt3dv6d
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWvHjVG5mz
我為未發生的事情擔憂。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxElqwbt6Ug
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHDY5o5qMf
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdD5mLEhh4D
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhvjwtpEfF
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nDEJFeBNQ
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOVIKtSUoC
「無呀。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwVHC5mLwv
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGGcVnnzGr
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡli7wGsTDEm
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihTLMl98NF
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7P82GPqc6p
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryblfeH0qH
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0t0afXZW8S
145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzirPYecFYz
難過。145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqufSqLddyk
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