● 無厘頭、創角、惡搞崩壞有,隨意寫。20Please respect copyright.PENANAj29b1exoDb
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喵喵在幾天前說想試試原世界的包餃子,我們就乾脆在學校內部找了個較沒人使用的大廳,讓參加者自行帶想吃的餃子餡來。因為之前有提醒他們要帶能吃的食物來,所以我想應該沒問題吧。20Please respect copyright.PENANAyaX5dougQX
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--豈料我錯估了火星人的餃子餡程度。20Please respect copyright.PENANAAQ8jy2Q0Px
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「學弟,你們不是要包那個什麼『腳子』嗎?」阿利一臉有過相關經驗、很理所當然地對我說:「上次我去原世界出任務,剛好有看到有很多人在包腳子。不過我沒想到竟然是那麼巨大的一顆腳子呢,今天我怕料不夠,還跟戴洛去獵了一隻腳最粗壯的山豬來--」20Please respect copyright.PENANAcdVpd5EA3y
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阿利學長你到底看到什麼!20Please respect copyright.PENANAHuJKhOTPH6
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當他跟戴洛兩人合力扛出一隻兩、三人那般高的大山豬,我震驚了。20Please respect copyright.PENANArIRr1Ssdvi
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才拿起杯子就口的呈予學姊瞪大眼睛差點噴茶,手捂住嘴咳了又咳,指著那隻山豬拼命咳嗽。20Please respect copyright.PENANAUNBLO571TE
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是說阿利學長你該不會看到哪邊的台灣鄉親在挑戰金氏世界紀錄吧!做全世界最大的餃子之類的!!!20Please respect copyright.PENANA98B2jLyWR0
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「啊,喵喵有帶巧克力喔!」無視這邊的混亂,喵喵很開心的舉手,「喵喵想做巧克力餃子!」20Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0pmmTWy8w
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「喵喵,餃子比較沒有人吃甜的。」 20Please respect copyright.PENANAHYPxvsWlnu
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庚學姊很委婉的開口。20Please respect copyright.PENANAbleKu5MIWi
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「可是原世界的湯圓不是鹹甜都有嗎?」喵喵很認真地發出疑問,於是庚學姊沉默了。20Please respect copyright.PENANAe0n7xqGLAo
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「……我有帶飯團。」似乎是有備而來,身邊放著一籃飯團的萊恩一手拿飯團一手拿水餃皮準備包水餃,然後發現包不進去後一秒變身沉聲喝道:「為什麼水餃皮只有一種大小!這根本是歧視飯團!」20Please respect copyright.PENANAE9vLAnmnZb
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因為沒有人會包飯團進去!!!20Please respect copyright.PENANAf2oRftQWqD
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我原本想跟萊恩這麼說,但看到他認真的眼神我只能建議他把飯團捏成小塊放進去。20Please respect copyright.PENANAN14plloZEl
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「喔喔、我有帶咕雞喔!」20Please respect copyright.PENANAtRWBJVgd6Q
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雷多很高興的舉起一個籠子,裡頭大概有十幾隻我之前看過的小咕雞。20Please respect copyright.PENANAabN6lJHj97
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「應該有人沒吃過吧?只要對著牠們喊一下牠們就會變大--」20Please respect copyright.PENANAjuuR6DUJEi
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「雷多、住手!」20Please respect copyright.PENANAbxSyLLaK3L
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發現自家兄弟想幹什麼的雅多立刻喝止試圖阻止可能有的混亂後果,但雷多早已現寶似地把嘴巴湊在籠子旁邊大叫,讓咕雞也跟著嚇得大叫。20Please respect copyright.PENANArFnIJd47ZS
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「咕---------!!!」20Please respect copyright.PENANAC8PT1l8RLF
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……我一秒看見氣球漲破。20Please respect copyright.PENANAsOYIFfG4iM
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不對、正確來說,是籠子被膨脹好幾倍的數隻咕雞撐破。20Please respect copyright.PENANAYgfSqRfQlV
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那群咕雞馬上咕咕咕地像顆球一樣地滾落地面到處橫衝直撞,整間大廳馬上充滿了咯咯咯咕咕咕的咕雞叫聲,還有絨毛在亂飛。20Please respect copyright.PENANAkCeA8rPbAx
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像是看著一齣非常荒唐但又偏偏身在其中的喜劇……我從來沒想過在學校還得負責抓雞。20Please respect copyright.PENANAOwx6lytF9D
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「抓雞啊!!!」20Please respect copyright.PENANAvF79mkct4b
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見獵心喜的西瑞很有氣勢地一腳踏在桌子上發了聲喊,然後被學姊一把打下桌。20Please respect copyright.PENANAIrsseNEonT
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「不要把腳踩在桌子上,要放食物的。」面對五色雞的發難,學姊很冷靜地說,然後扔了張冰符凍住一隻咕雞。20Please respect copyright.PENANAtic4uOemxY
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「妳把牠凍住了是要怎麼吃烤雞!」五色雞頭立刻抗議,然後爪一揮,這樣竟也一手一隻。20Please respect copyright.PENANAmovLcrhVt1
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「活的會動的肉--!!!」20Please respect copyright.PENANA6gWslrSqxX
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被帶過來的小亭看到滿廳巨大化後的咕雞衝來衝去,整隻興奮得加了十倍速度、甚至閃過夏碎學長阻止的手將嘴巴張到最大就對準一隻咕雞蓋過去。20Please respect copyright.PENANAIbm93BvPqx
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「小亭!住手--」20Please respect copyright.PENANAiOiuDv8ABc
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那隻雞原本在閃躲千冬歲的弓箭,躲過第一箭後我聽到牠很得意地叫了聲,然後在下一秒被小亭整個吞吃掉。20Please respect copyright.PENANAtaLrKniFte
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……我猜牠到死前還不知道那個黑洞究竟是怎麼憑空產生的。20Please respect copyright.PENANAcLgUmNCGnF
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看到這種場面的學長一臉青筋連話都不想說的樣子,結果卻有一隻不知道被誰斷頭的咕雞拋頭顱灑熱血地亂飛飛到他面前,讓學長一秒彈指『轟!』地一聲讓牠變烤雞。20Please respect copyright.PENANA0rox5KQr1f
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「學長……其實那是餃子餡。」20Please respect copyright.PENANAJPHRpM3Fex
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原本今天的菜單中原本沒有烤雞的。20Please respect copyright.PENANA14hZaVyLu9
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但是再這樣下去我懷疑我們今天只能吃烤雞!!!20Please respect copyright.PENANAFTi0HJlV5i
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「有種你就自己抓不要傻在那邊!」20Please respect copyright.PENANA4IJDmCt8jl
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「知、知道了。」我叫出幻武兵器,然後努力瞄準一隻正在亂跑亂跳亂叫的咕雞,發射。20Please respect copyright.PENANAsM3xa48Hda
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一個熟悉的王水泡泡。20Please respect copyright.PENANATdtN3qB9mN
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「不對啊啊啊我不是要用這個!」20Please respect copyright.PENANAAgjlFilLLj
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平常不都是子彈型態嗎!20Please respect copyright.PENANAFOVSwZukuF
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『容我提醒您,烤雞不適合吃太多,尤其是您在昨天深夜吃掉三塊蛋糕的情況下,膽固醇易攝取過量--』20Please respect copyright.PENANAgBVuKKHgxw
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腦中響起淡淡聲音,但我只覺得有時幻武兵器太熟悉自己的日常作息真不是件好事。20Please respect copyright.PENANAXILUuD9tm2
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米納斯妳什麼時候還兼任我的營養師了!而且我只吃三片!三片!!! 20Please respect copyright.PENANA6dHSVxgvXT
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「漾~」五色雞拎著一個只殘留肉屑的咕雞骨架給我看,「你是想做雞骨湯嗎?但是你竟然都把肉給溶掉!應該要把肉留給本大爺啊!!!」20Please respect copyright.PENANAfFRyNitAsV
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誰跟你做雞骨湯啊!!!20Please respect copyright.PENANALojOolN4AV
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「這隻也不能吃了。」20Please respect copyright.PENANAKB23zMGyV8
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五色雞頭一臉可惜地把骨架扔進垃圾桶,同時我還看見裡面有焦黑的成灰的被爆掉的不明物體。20Please respect copyright.PENANA8ktxlXANvX
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這樣超級混亂的一個下午過去,處理完咕雞(還有那隻巨大山豬)包了餃子,好多人直接就在大廳睡死過去,連我也不小心睡著。20Please respect copyright.PENANAxov7AiLdxs
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等我醒來後,只看到桌子上的大鍋咕嘟嘟地冒著黑泡。20Please respect copyright.PENANAyn4ULWICJz
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……等等、為什麼湯是黑色的!通常煮完餃子的湯不都是白色的嗎!!!20Please respect copyright.PENANAkpeJGcbhVY
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早就醒來在煮餃子的大家好像覺得沒什麼不對的聚在鍋子旁邊,一人撈了一碗就這麼吃了起來。我膽戰心驚地接過夏碎學長遞過來的碗,小心翼翼地挑了顆顏色比較正常的餃子,咬下。20Please respect copyright.PENANAsr9TkV5UKx
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『嘎啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊----------!!!!』20Please respect copyright.PENANA11cISbdZj4
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一秒那悽厲的叫喊整個貫穿我耳朵。 20Please respect copyright.PENANAMormKZVFUm
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靠、誰把蘋果包下去的!!! 20Please respect copyright.PENANALXEI0e3EPj
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「學弟,你那顆餃子大概沒熟,通常熟掉的蘋果是不會叫的。」20Please respect copyright.PENANAibSOsiXi9E
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阿利笑著跟我說,但是有人會特地把蘋果拿去燙熟嗎!20Please respect copyright.PENANAQ27OXJCcp9
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像是延續剛才包餃子的混亂,有人咬到一整隻帶殼龍蝦、有人咬到巧克力、也有人是咬到一整隻山豬蹄--這根本不是餃子了吧!!!20Please respect copyright.PENANA5gSUUkvv4a
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我突然覺得自己咬到萊恩包的飯團水餃可能還好一些。像呈予學姊,她才一口咬下水餃,就微妙地停住了。20Please respect copyright.PENANAMsspUNbgZv
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「…………這是什麼?」20Please respect copyright.PENANABcphPWsevo
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「喔,被學姊吃到了嗎?那是我去特地找來的食材,據說很補的。像是--」20Please respect copyright.PENANAA37dx3SyQM
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千冬歲瞄了一眼,順口報出他到底去哪裡找餃子餡。20Please respect copyright.PENANApGcLVVgvzT
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「很補的什麼?」20Please respect copyright.PENANAFO3EbT44xF
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我跟著湊過去看,只覺得那半顆怎麼看怎麼像……20Please respect copyright.PENANAT0r1vXIylX
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「奇里尼山喀伊阿額特牛的眼睛。」20Please respect copyright.PENANAcMkfqRoFFr
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「……………………」20Please respect copyright.PENANAuXgagnAFPf
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學姊整個凝固住,跟碗裡的半顆眼睛互瞪,接著在千冬歲滿意的目光下機械似地咀嚼吃光光。20Please respect copyright.PENANA438CaXZ7uG
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旁邊的夏碎學長露出非常同情的眼神,然後撈餃子的動作更加小心了。20Please respect copyright.PENANAsulDRUBzxI
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……我懷疑他把透視使用在這方面。20Please respect copyright.PENANAgofVWKby5h
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據說呈予學姊回去後臥病三天,接著用很長的一段時間仔仔細細地寫了一本《如何正確認識原世界》的書,推出後造成守世界的搶購熱潮不斷再刷。20Please respect copyright.PENANADfhHt6u6kU
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此是後話。
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