The human body is fundamentally different than our Angel bodies are. For an Angel, the body is really nothing much more than a convenience. It’s mostly energy and the mind. For us initiates, it’s slightly different in that we require the bodies. Not for living, but otherwise we would just disperse and disappear.
For a human thought, the body is essential. The mind cannot exist without the body, and there is so much going on inside. There are so many fluids and so many tubes and pouches and sticks. It’s really hard to grasp how everything works for the first time. And the humans’ feelings are so much stronger, so much more difficult to control, so… animalistic.
As I was thrown into the world, I needed to learn all of this, and it was horribly difficult. It took me almost two hours to be able to walk, three to run, four to understand that I needed to eat and drink and five to understand that what goes in, comes out.
I had been provided with keys to an apartment, I think they called it. It had a place for a bed, a sort-of in-the-wall kitchen, and a place for a table. It wasn’t big, but I loved it from the first second. In Heaven, the only place I had was a shared sleeping chamber, with dozen other initiates. My only possessions were a small chest that contained stuff that I had found outside. And that was it. Everything else was common property, even clothes.
But now I had a place of my own. I had a bed of my own, a table of my own, and clothes - although not many - of my own. I was excited about this. All of it. Then I got a reminder that this wasn’t a permanent solution, nor was it a vacation. I got a Visitation from a higher-up. They almost scared me to death - which is an experience I care to repeat - and blinded me with their light show. They reminded me about my mission and to ‘get on with it’, which I think meant that I needed to go out and observe. I have been provided by a place in a place called "University," which sounded terribly close to what I had at home.
I woke up the next morning feeling groggy, which I hadn't done before and I was curious about it for like five seconds and then decided that’s not me. So I tried to clear my head and it didn’t work like it used to. I rose up and looked through the cupboards and found something called ‘tea’, and it smelled awesome. I read the instructions, made myself a cup of it, and I can truly say that it was by far the best thing I had ever put into my mouth. Afterward, my head cleared, I dressed up (who in the wide world designed this thing called a ‘bra’? Why is it so uncomfortable and difficult to put on?), and got out.
I walked towards the University building and noted there were lots and lots of other humans walking in the same direction, and everyone had basically the same expression on their faces. It was a nice and sunny morning, so I didn’t really understand what was wrong with them. I arrived at the room and it was huge, there were literally dozens and dozens of seats and one in the middle at the front, presumably for someone to present something really important.
The room filled about half-way up before the lecturer arrived. It was slightly ironic, that the first lecture I attended was a philosophical discussion about if Angels really existed. When the lecturer asked for opinions, I really wanted to speak, but my instructions were perfectly clear: to observe, not to take part.
The lecture ended in a stalemate in which some of the students fully believed that Angels exist, some of them didn’t at all and the overall consensus was that Angels are an ideal and not anything as specific as individuals and definitely not anything resembling humans with white feathery wings. Well, I couldn’t really argue with the last part with my light-stripe noodles of wings.
We had a break and everyone went and ate something. I ate something called a ‘bagel’ and a cup of ‘coffee’. I can say that ‘tea’ was a billion times better than this bitter liquid, but the bagel was delicious. On the break, the students gathered into groups, just like us in the Heavens.
I tried to look for any individuals, but only spotted one and she hightailed it immediately when I looked at her. I guess this is going to be much harder than I originally thought. I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to observe here, and how should I do it. Just looking for the outside didn’t seem like I could get the real idea about humans at all.
We gathered back after the break and continued the lecture on a more historical basis and studied old texts about Angels and otherworldly powers. It got really difficult to not speak up when they mixed up Michael and Henael, and when they showed a picture of Gabriel with Uzael’s wings. It was just wrong. The only thing I learned from that lesson, was that humans are ignorant, stupid and it hurts like hell if you bite your own tongue.
Speaking of hell, I hadn’t yet found a single demon, contrary to Heaven’s teachings that they are everywhere trying to tempt the humans. I sensed a faint hellish influence among the students, but it might as well been that someone had sinned recently, which the humans apparently did on a daily basis, according to Heaven.
After the lectures, I went back to my apartment and sat at my table for the rest of the day, and basked in the feeling that everything around me was mine and not to be shared with anyone. Then I went to sleep into MY bed, under MY blankets, my head on MY pillow.
ns 18.68.41.148da2
