18Please respect copyright.PENANAuqbRmFgdAk
I was sitting at the desk, doing my maths homework. If there was one thing my vampire brain had a hard time doing, it was logarithms. WHO on Earth would need these things in real life??? Fortunately, a conspiratorial voice behind my back came to my aid, “Sam.”
I turned and saw uncle Mike’s head, sticking out of the door. His face expressed the same enthusiastic expectation as of a kid’s on Christmas morning.
“What’s up?”
“Today’s your first melee weapons handling lesson!”
Mike had announced it in a way that made me feel like I should have immediately understood all the incredible coolness of the forthcoming event. It was as if he had said, “Sam, BTS are coming to us, and we will ride unicorns together and eat a rainbow!”
“Sooo?” I drawled inquiringly.
“Come quick!”
I rose from the desk and left the room.
“Guys, it’s Sam’s first knife handling lesson today!” uncle shouted to the other Order members, who were in the living room, and waved toward the basement.
I still couldn’t understand where all this excitement came from. Geek, Lee, and Stoker joined us. The whole crowd went downstairs.
“Let me guess. You came here to hinder me from giving a training lesson, didn’t you?” Rettle addressed our small solemn procession.
Everyone but me nodded harmoniously. I turned to Uncle and asked, “What the heck is going on here?”
“Sam, you already know how awesomely cool Rettle is in fighting, don’t you?”
I nodded.
“So imagine something a million times more awesome!”
“Sylvester Stallone fighting with Arnold Schwarzenegger, both riding battle dinosaurs with machine guns and laser cannons?”
Uncle jokingly prodded my shoulder.
“You see, Rettle is incredibly cool at wielding a sword. So much that you won’t believe it until you see it with your own eyes. But the problem is that he doesn’t like to show his mastery merely for our entertainment. That’s why we see this awesomeness exclusively when another member of the Order is going through his first melee weapons training session.”
Rettle started speaking again, “And you won’t leave me alone till I put on a show for you, will you?”
Everyone shook their heads in unison. Rettle turned, went to his workshop and returned back, holding two wakizashi swords. What happened next was beyond description. Rettle started brandishing his swords with such a speed that the blades themselves dissolved into thin air. I saw the sword handles and noticed the glitter of silver particles ingrained into the material of the blades. But that was all – I didn’t see the blades themselves. The impression was that a swarm of tiny glittering flies was hovering in front of Rettle’s face.
“Have you brought the props?” Rettle’s voice sounded calm and relaxed as if he were lying in a hammock rather than swinging his swords at hypersonic speed.
Lumberjack brought a basket with tennis balls from somewhere. Everybody took one.
“Whenever you are ready.”
The moment Rettle pronounced these words all Order members at once threw balls at him. A moment later fourteen tennis ball halves lay on the floor at Rettle’s feet. It was unbelievable! All the balls reached him almost at the same time and from different sides. How on Earth was it possible to cut seven balls in one second? HOW?
Uncle was right. It was indescribably cool!
“And now, Sam, get ready to contemplate a death trick.”
Mike took a deck of cards out of his pocket and fanned it out. All Order members took three cards each: one card in each hand and the third one clutched between their teeth. They surrounded Rettle and froze in different poses.
“Ready,” Uncle mumbled with a card between his teeth.
Rettle raised his swords at the ready…and closed his eyes! Then he swept past the Order members like a ball lightning, dissecting the cards right and left. A moment later everything was over. At first sight, everyone was alive and well.
I looked at the floor, now strewed not only with tennis ball halves but also with pieces of cards. I looked closer and opened my mouth in surprise again. Rettle cut every card into three pieces! Consequently, during the second the trick lasted the coach had time not only to hit each of the eighteen cards with his blades but also to do it twice! Without having chopped even a mere pinkie off anyone out of six of them. With closed eyes! I was lost for words!
“Is everyone satisfied?” Rettle asked sheathing his swords.
The Night Guardians nodded all at once.
“Then clean the floor and leave the room. Sam and I have a training session.”
Rettle motioned me toward the door of his workshop. I followed him.
There was a surprise waiting for me in the coach's ‘cave’. Standing in the middle of the room was a huge metal table with a collection of bladed weapons. There were a couple of swords, resembling Rettle’s, a machete, about a dozen of daggers and knives of every possible shape and size, and even the dream weapon of any teenager – ninja stars.
"What's that?" I asked pointing at something like a miniature scythe.
"That's kama, a weapon, developed from a sickle for reaping crops. It became widespread after Japan annexed Okinawa and banned all traditional edged weapons there."
"And this?" I picked out a dagger whose hand grip was shaped like a chair back – two parallel bars connected by two cross-pieces.
"Katar – an Indian push dagger. It's held this way," Rettle put his fingers in between the blade and the crossbar so that the dagger became an extension of his hand.
"And this?" I pointed at a bizarre dagger with three thin blades.
"German trident dagger with traps for the opponent's sword. If you don't mind, Sam, I’m going to start our lesson. You'll get a chance to study different types of weapons later – I'll give you all the materials you might need."
I nodded and Rettle began, "In close combat, a bladed weapon is much more versatile and dangerous than a firearm. Knives never run out of bullets or fail to fire. Whereas a gun is only good for shooting, a knife has a thousand different purposes. It can be used to kill an enemy, disarm a bomb, cut wires of a CCTV, or slice ham on a lunch break. In our operations we rarely have opponents at a distance bigger than the effective range of a knife, let alone a sword. Besides, only bladed weapons allow you to develop skills that make up a true warrior."
Rettle took two knives from the table and gave one of them to me.
"This is a prop Ka-Bar, an army combat knife used by the Marines. In this case, the blade is made of rubber. Even so, a vampire can seriously injure a human with it, provided he makes an effort. With stabbing, speed is everything. Even a blunt pencil can go all the way through a human body."
I pictured Rettle wreaking havoc with improvised weapons made from objects seemingly useless in combat. One moment, he's stabbing an enemy with three pencils wedged between his fingers like Wolverine claws. Next, he's squeezing a stapler in his hand so rapidly that staples shoot right through the bulletproof vests. Rettle the Office Ninja! I wondered if he also knew how to smash someone's head with a party balloon.
"Compared to a gun, a knife is much harder to wrestle out of the attacker's hand. Here, try it."
Rettle pointed his knife at me. I grabbed his wrist the way he taught me to disarm someone with a gun.
"Good. But what do you do next? If it were a gun, you could grab the barrel and wrench it sideways. But that's not something you can do with a knife, unless, of course, you've been practicing that for many years."
Rettle gestured for me to swap roles with him. I pointed my rubber blade at the coach. With incredible speed, Rettle threw his arms forward and trapped the blade between his hands with a clapping gesture. He then jerked the knife sideways, and it flew out of my hand.
"Don't try repeating that. You’ll surely cut yourself. Besides, the blade could be made of silver."
"So what should I do then if I face a knife?"
Rettle gave me back my Ka-Bar.
"Use the foundations of mechanics."
The coach grabbed my wrist and with a powerful move twisted it to stick the knife in my chest. The blade was made of rubber, but it was still unpleasant.
"The way our extremities are built, they can always be bent at the joints no matter how hard you flex your muscles. If your opponent is strong, use both hands."
Rettle showed me the move once again, this time pushing on my elbow with his right hand.
"This maneuver works well against right-handed people. You stick the knife in the opponent's aorta, and he's dead in a matter of seconds. And it's just as effective against vampires. You'll just have to wait a bit longer."
"And what should I do in this situation?"
"First off, block the knife with your other hand."
We changed roles again. I tried to stab Rettle with his knife, but he put his other hand on top of mine that was holding his wrist, stopping the knife. After that Rettle taught me how to wield a knife so that the enemy did not have time to intercept it. Then there was a demonstration of attack and defense from different sides, at different angles and with different types of knives. We trained until the very dinner. It was fun, almost like acting in a cool blockbuster. And I wasn't too bad. I even thought that another two weeks of practice could make me worthy of the paladin title.
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