I returned home alone. I parked my uncle's SUV and was about to open the entrance door when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and read the message from Rettle, “The better prepared your enemy is…”. “The longer the distance from which he should be attacked”, I said out loud, finishing the coach’s familiar dictum. I immediately turned, waiting for a sudden assault, but it was already too late. I felt a shot in my neck as if a bee stung me. The wave of incredible lightness spread across my whole body and after that the world around me started to blur.
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I came round, experiencing an unpleasant stiffness. When I opened my eyes, I realized that I was sitting with my knees bent, resting my legs against one wall, and my back against the opposite one. At first, I thought that I was in a wardrobe because there were less than 4 feet between the walls. However, the floor was concrete and the walls pleased the eye with the multifaceted beauty of undyed cement.
Standing up, I looked around. The surface against which my back had rested earlier appeared to be a door. I knocked on it. It responded with a dull sound of thick steel. Not really counting on success, I tried to break the door open. No luck. I looked around. There were no windows or even ventilation holes, only a lonely light bulb hanging from the ceiling. How on Earth did I get here? The last thing I remembered was a bee sting in my neck, after that everything started reeling before my eyes. I passed the hand over my neck – yep, there was a needle mark. A tranquilizer dart, I guessed.
So that’s what the last test for becoming a paladin looked like. And what was I supposed to do? Get out of here? I examined my new dwelling again. The door was solid and fitted well, so there were no cracks where I could shove something. Anyway, I didn’t have anything. My kidnappers left me only in my shorts and T-shirt again. I put my ear against the door – silence, absolute silence. Either there was no one on the other side or thick steel was blocking any noises. Probably, both.
Over the last month, Rettle had time to teach me everything that could be taught. One of his lectures was actually dedicated to captivity. First of all, in this kind of situation, the victim needs to examine all of the surroundings and find out as much as possible about the kidnappers. In my case, I had already completed the first task in a couple of seconds as there was nothing to examine. As for the kidnapper, I already knew him and, much to my regret, he was the smartest and the most dangerous person on the planet.
So, I proceeded right along to task #2 – saving my strength and waiting for the right moment. Because, as the coach said, sooner or later the kidnappers would come to feed me, take a photo of me holding a new issue of a newspaper with a “Please-mother-take-me-home” expression on my face, smeared with tears and snot, or they would just finish me off and send the head of the beloved child to the parents in a garbage bag.
And at that very moment, I could try to start up a conversation with one of the kidnappers, make him empathize with me, or better do a foot sweep and break his neck, squeezing his head between my knees. So the key was to wait for that moment. According to Rettle, many of those taken captive spend all their energy on pointless attempts to escape, and at the moment when they can actually do it, they simply don’t have enough strength for the last spurt.
I started waiting. And that’s when I understood what the main point of this test was. Sitting in a tiny cell, without a window, a TV, a book and even clothes was difficult as hell! In an ordinary prison, one could at least lie down and sleep, but I didn’t have a bed and it was even impossible to lie on the floor because of its tiny surface. After a while, a hunger had awakened in me. It meant that about five-six hours had passed since my kidnapping.
“Are they ever going to supply me with Bloodberry or what?” I thought indignantly. “Well, at least give me some dead rat and I’ll chew it, or maybe an old plaster from someone’s scratched knee, I’ll lick the remains of the blood off it.” Bessie told me that one of the disadvantages of being a vampire was an inability to store energy. A human can live without food for several weeks. Whereas a vampire will live without blood only for several days and in case of intense physical activity or stress can come to his end in 24 hours.
I tried to distract myself from maddening monotony as much as I could. For starters, I recalled all Rettle’s lectures, then Lumberjack’s and the others’. After some time I started dozing off. In spite of the cold and discomfort, I still managed to lie down or, to be precise, jackknife on the floor, resting my back and legs against the opposite walls. I tried to sleep. And then it became even more amusing. Turned out that there were a high-powered floodlight and loudspeakers under the ceiling. The moment I closed my eyes, the lamp illuminated the tiny room with such a bright light that I could fry eggs under its rays. And the song Kim by Eminem started playing out of the loudspeakers at the top volume.
I laughed. One of Rettle’s lectures was about Guantanamo. Turned out that they didn't give a shit about human rights there, and kept terror suspects behind bars even without bringing charges against them. And of course, they ruthlessly tortured their prisoners. So, one of the methods of ‘enhanced interrogation’ was sleep deprivation. The deprivation was implemented by using bright light and loud music, the efficiency of which I’d learned by experience. The coach picked that song deliberately. Kim was included in the list of the so-called ‘Best hits of Guantanamo’, used for deprivation together with Hell's Bells by AC/DC, Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen and even Dirty by Christina Aguilera. Besides, Rettle knew that I liked Eminem. Damn, that robot had a sense of humor!
The music and bright light switched off automatically five seconds after I would open my eyes. However, at first, I was so happy about the change of the scene that I was closing my eyes deliberately to entertain myself in this quite perverted way. Besides, Kim, although a very depressive song, was still giving me pleasure the first twenty times. After some time even this entertainment got me bored. But then it got really bad. My whole body was tormented by tiredness and cold, my eyes ached, as well as my head, my stomach whimpered like a beaten dog.
I seemed to start going mad little by little. As Rettle said, the main thing in such a situation was not to lose the sense of reality. And the reality lay in the fact that it was just a test. Somewhere out there the coach was sitting in front of the monitor, looking at me through the hidden camera. Rettle could be tough, but he would never do me real harm.
If something went wrong, he would stop the test. But the problem was that Jiminy Cricket’s tiny mad brother had already settled down on my shoulder and started whispering to me, “What if it’s not a test? What if you’ve been actually kidnapped? What if something has happened to Rettle and he simply can’t help you? What if the apocalypse began and NOBODY’s going to rescue you?”
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Not less than 48 hours had passed since I was kidnapped. At least that’s how it seemed to me. Hunger, cold, lack of sleep, impossibility to move, lie or sit properly – all of that exhausted me to the maximum both physically and morally. Perhaps I’d have gladly exchanged my imprisonment for the good old tortures with beating, searing with cigarette butts and putting needles under my nails.
I continued to actively go nuts. The mad cricket on my shoulder kept on whispering, “You’ll never get out of here! You’ll die here! It’s not a test! They just want to starve you to death!” However, I tried to resist this little bastard, “No! It’s just a test! I’ll pass it! They’ll let me out and make me a paladin! Rettle will never do me harm!” And then I finally got it! What a stupid idiot I was!
Rettle would never do me harm! Exactly! All this time he was watching me through the hidden camera. What will he do when he notices that I’m really dying? Of course, he will come to the rescue! So I need to feign a faint! The key is to be convincing. The coach is very smart and will recognize bad acting at once. And don’t overdo it!
I sat on the floor resting my back against the wall, but a bit sideward, to make it possible to dramatically slide down and fall aside. I morally prepared myself and closed my eyes. Eminem started yelling hysterically: «Oh, what's the matter, Kim? Am I too loud for you?». It seemed that I managed not to disclose my pretense. My eyes remained shut and even my eyelids didn’t twitch the moment the music switched on. And now the final trick. I started to slide down slowly to one side. My head was leaning closer and closer to the concrete and finally BAM! – it hit the floor with a thump.
The music grew even louder making my eardrums ache. It was Rettle checking whether I really went out. Heh-heh, old man! I’m not that easy to break! Unless blood comes out of my ears I will continue playing dead. You’ll have to open this damn door and save me or at least throw out my cold corpse! Either the blow to my head shook my already overstrained brain too much, or the tortures with hunger and cold dealt the final blow to me, but I really started blacking out. I tried to open my eyes but failed to do it. However, I stopped wanting it right away.
The long-awaited sleep, or rather a near-death slumber, shrouded me like a cozy blanket. Screw this test, screw the paladins and all the rest in this world. That’s it! I’m going to sleep… Already dozing off I heard the sound of the door opening somewhere from afar. Someone, maybe the Grim Reaper himself, dragged me out of the cell. I thought of opening my eyes and getting to my feet, but this thought sounded in my head like this: “I should…I should open my eyes….although…nah….Oh, look! The unicorns are galloping across the rainbow! So, what was I saying? Ah, it doesn’t matter ‘cause I’m riding a unicorn!”
I felt some liquid flowing down my face and neck, followed by an incredibly strong and heady smell. In the entire world, only blood smelled so overwhelmingly tasty and appealingly! Real, fresh, human blood, rather than that, synthesized in the lab or squeezed out of a piece of steak. I ran my tongue over my lips, licking off this nectar, and felt an inflow of strength right away. I opened my eyes. It was pitch dark around.
I began wiping the blood off my face and after every move I was putting my hands to my mouth almost up to my wrists, greedily licking every bit of blood off my fingers. My gums started aching under the pressure of my fangs breaking out furiously. I opened my mouth to its full width, baring my fangs, and gave an animal growl. Every cell in my body became saturated with the energy of the blood. I felt renewed and filled with strength like never before. It was so darn amazing!!! I’d never felt anything better than this in my whole life.
“Stand up,” Rettle’s voice sounded somewhere out in the darkness.
I leaped to my feet in one jump, waiting for the attack at any moment.
“So, have I got through? Have I passed your test?”
Human blood and euphoria overfilled me. I was ready for any fight, even with Rettle or a tiger, or the devil himself! I was invincible!
“Your test hasn’t started yet,” Stoker’s voice now sounded over my ear.
Before I had time to react, I received a hard blow and almost lost my balance. The training was over, now the blows were dealt in full force. I instantly sent a middle kick to the left, but only managed to hit the air.
“All of that was only a preparation,” uncle Mike’s voice sounded right in front of me.
In an instant, another hard blow slammed into my back. It pushed me forward, but I did a front roll and leaped to my feet again. A beast living inside of me, awakened by human blood, finally got infuriated by these blows. I let out another animal growl and strained all my muscles, feeling my body turning into a fighting machine. I started swinging my arms and legs in every direction hoping to catch any of the attackers.
“Now it is the blood that controls you. It overfills you with rage. You should fight not with us but with the blood in your veins,” Geek’s voice came somewhere from behind.
Someone’s incredibly strong hands grabbed me by the shoulders and smashed me against the wall with all their might. It could be only Lumberjack. I heard my ribs crunch under the blow. But I got up instantly and, again, started thrashing the air around me. With every blow, I was becoming angrier and angrier. Almost naked, covered in blood, with eyes filled with hatred, I probably looked like a demon, who was fighting his way out of the deepest depths of hell.
“You can’t defeat us unless you overpower yourself,” it was Rettle again.
A heavy low kick nearly broke my right leg. It surely was the coach. Another growl erupted from my chest, and I started dealing blows right and left. The next moment, my fist ran into something and I heard the sound of concrete breaking.
“In order to win you should surrender,” said Mike and smashed his fist in my stomach so hard that I almost spat it out.
“You should give up your animal nature,” Lumberjack landed a kick on my back, which threw me to the floor.
I stood up immediately and continued beating the surrounding space in search of invisible enemies.
“Only by getting weaker you will be able to win,” Stoker gave me a blow to the jaw that almost knocked me out.
Suddenly strobe lights went on, and I managed to make out the surrounding situation through epileptic flashes of light. It was the Order’s basement. I turned around several times – not a single opponent was there. There was another flash and Rettle’s figure appeared ten feet ahead of me. His scars gleamed ominously in strobe lights.
When teaching me, the coach had never strained himself, his body always looked quite relaxed. But not this time. For the first time ever I saw Rettle ready for the real fight. All his muscles were tensed and pulsating veins on his biceps and forearms showed through. His face seemed even more severe. He settled into a fighting stance, though still looking down. And then he raised his eyes and gazed intently into mine. Oh, that was very cool! At that moment Rettle looked so incredibly dangerous that he seemed to be able to break my bones with that hard look alone.
On any other day, I would probably have crapped my pants at the sight of such a threatening image, but not at that moment! Fresh human blood had been spreading through my veins, and now I felt intrepid, unconquerable, almost immortal…and extremely angry. Now I'll get even with the coach for all those punches and kicks he gave me and all those traps he made for me, for all those hundreds of times when I couldn’t hit him in return. My lips twisted into an insane smile and I took the same fighting stance, thereby inviting the coach to start the fight.
Strobe lights blinked once again, and in that fraction of a second, when the basement was plunged into total darkness, Rettle magically managed to reduce the distance between us from ten feet to zero. I saw the coach’s face right in front of me and at the same moment I felt incredible pain. His fist almost holed through me. The vampire rage alone that was filling my whole body helped me to overcome the pain and strike back. But of course, I missed.
Once again I felt terrible pain. Rettle’s kick rammed into my hip. For a moment I completely lost the ability to control my right leg. I threw a straight left and a right hook. But Rettle was no longer in front of me. The next moment he slammed his knee into my back. I roared in pain and endless anger, overfilling all parts of my body. The coach kept attacking me, changing his position every second. His blows were raining down from all sides, from above and below. It was as if I got into a huge thresher that was about to turn my body into a leather bag filled with crushed bones and internal organs.
“Let go of your rage. Draw back your fangs,” the coach said keeping up his execution.
But I didn’t listen to Rettle as I was rushing furiously from side to side in an attempt to catch him, growling like a wild animal.
“You should surrender.”
A fist smashed into my jaw.
“You should let go of your rage.”
An elbow strike was delivered to my ear, causing a terrible ringing in my head.
“Remember, what I taught you – retreat, settle your mind and only then come back to the battlefield.”
I took a deep breath and, cutting through the anger that was overflowing in me and now also fighting through the terrible pain from all those strikes, managed to catch the coach’s advice. Another deep breath. I started to calm down, trying to abstract away from everything that was happening. It was not that easy to do, given that Rettle still kept beating me.
They want me to give up? Ok, here I’m standing and quietly getting a storm of the hardest blows, turning my body into something like an overcooked potato. And how will it help me to win? The answer came somehow by itself. Suddenly I felt a lightness in my whole body. Rage left me, my fangs went back to their place deep in the gums.
Rettle threw another punch in my direction, but this time I managed to move my head off the line of attack. I succeeded in dodging a blow from Rettle himself! I did it once and will do it again! His front kick flew forward. I sharply turned, and Rettle’s leg went past me. Evading the coach’s blows resembled some kind of dance – head to the right, shoulder back, knees bending, torso turning, a step back. It was as if a divine revelation had dawned upon me and I’d learned the secret of conducting a battle. All Rettle’s punches went past me. Only then I decided to try to strike back. This time absolutely calmly, without rage, without hatred.
The coach’s fist flew in a wide arc to my jaw. I drew my head back and simultaneously threw my leg forward aiming a front kick. Rettle adroitly jumped back at once, turning his torso away from the kick, but I barely managed to touch his stomach with the very edge of my heel.
“Lights,” sounded the coach’s voice.
I instinctively covered my eyes with my hands just in time. The whole basement lit up with a dozen fluorescent lamps. The coach was standing in front of me in his usual pose, his arms folded across his chest. He wasn’t going to attack me anymore. Behind him I saw the paladins, standing at the far wall. They were all looking at me smiling, and my uncle’s eyes seemed to water with tears of joy. Rettle started speaking, “Samantha Masters, you’ve honorably passed the final test. Now you are one of us. Bear the title of the paladin proudly and swear to use the skills you’ve mastered only for a good cause.”
“I swear,” I pronounced in a rather uncertain voice, not yet fully understanding, what the heck was going on there. A moment ago they obviously tried to kill me and now they asked me to swear to something.
“Say it clearly. You should believe in your oath.”
I took a deep breath, embraced all the solemnity of the moment and repeated in a loud voice, “I swear. Swear to use the skills I’ve mastered only for a good cause.”
“Welcome aboard, kid.”
The coach offered me his hand that I shook for the first time ever. It was like greeting a granite statue. After a solemn handshake, my uncle and all the rest burst into loud applause and yells of approval. Mike squeezed me in his arms and my wounds responded with a sharp pain making me utter some quacking sound.
“Please, no hugging. I’m dying from your beatdown as it is.”
“Don’t worry, it’ll heal in a couple of days. You won’t believe me of course, but we beat you extremely carefully. Now it hurts like hell, but you don’t have any serious injuries. It will all pass after you soak in a bath with our super cream, drink a couple of bottles of the healing mixture, and stuff yourself with Bloodberry.”
“You’re right. I won’t believe you. I feel like I’m having excessive internal bleeding and all my bones are broken. I think I’ll die tomorrow.”
“Relax, everything will be okay. We’ll give you a couple of days to rest.”
“So, what was really the point of the test? To find out whether I’m able to survive kidnapping, imprisonment, and torture?” I asked.
“It was only the first part of the test. Actually, imprisonment was needed to exhaust your organism so that human blood could have a maximum impact on you. The main point of this test was to find out whether you would be able to conquer your inner vampire. You see, a paladin should know how to control his animal nature better than any other daytime vampire.”
“Why did you think I conquered my inner vampire?”
“You hit Rettle, right? Guided by anger, you would never do that.”
“But I didn’t hit him! My heel barely touched him. He probably hasn’t even felt anything.”
“In Rettle’s case, that’s ‘a hit’.”
“So, hasn’t anyone managed to properly lay one on him?”
Uncle smiled and shook his head.
“Oh that darn robot samurai!”
After taking several steps I felt weak and my legs gave way. Uncle managed to timely catch my exhausted body. He took me to my room where I could finally enjoy the warm and soft bed. Hell yeah, I’m a paladin! And now go to sleep, everybody!
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