I recall, it was a certain Monday, two weeks after our school held the opening ceremony. Our high-school is one among the favorites in the city. New students who manage to be in the ceremony, most of them, would feel very proud about it. Ironically, I was an ungrateful stupid of a kid. I had a take-it-for-granted attitude when I was first accepted into the school.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wI4aCL1Z4
That certain Monday morning I sat on the bench as usual. I opened my bag only to realize that I forgot to bring the book I supposed to read that morning. The night before, I read the book until I got sleepy. And then I put it on the desk. I went to bed as fast as I could because the weariness was unbearable.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAMK7Yz9j6
I didn’t realize I went to school without it in my bag. The book title was “Easy Ways to Remember Math Formulas”. Math was my weakest subject. My last test score was only slightly above average. This was why it was important for me to work on my weakness. Before I finally take the university entrance exam because that time, I had less than one year left.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ062CGZXqRs
With no book to read, I sat in a frozen state on the bench. My legs were too lazy it refused to move to the class. And even if I were in the classroom –still I would have nothing to do until the first bell ring.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9C8HnnWUkp
So I had no choice but to see those repetitive sights, again.
That time, to get rid of the boredom that could get me sleepy, I made a simple conjecture:915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSUc4vb0vr
(A) First-year students’ motivation to go to school during the first two months is at their highest. Therefore they do not want to be late.
(B) The seniors’ motivation decreases in a considerable amount since their first year of school (real fact). Therefore they will not be expected to be at school so early in the morning. With the exception of they who are in the student council or an honor student).915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGNuuXBmGb
(C) Assuming point (A) and (B) are true, then, the highest ratio for “Students Who Will Come Early on the First Month of School” is first-year students.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe88e7VVy7E
Then the proofs showed themselves.
After 10 minutes the only people I saw were first-years (because the faces seemed new to me). 15 minutes later, only couples of second-year which I recognized.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq97jRluIMI
Even after 25 minutes, only two students from my class showed. Our class rep and the class’s bookwo-, I mean a very academically smart student with thick round glasses. They came earlier than any of my 27 other classmates.
The conclusion came 10 minutes before the first bell rang. My deduction was true. Well, I guess anyone could make such that easy syllogism. One does not need a cigar pipe and a doctor friend to deduce it.
And then the “rush hour” came. I decided to go to class as well and prepare for the first session of the day. I stood up from the bench and felt the relief after sitting down for almost an hour. Before I lifted my leg and took my first step, I saw her for the first time.
She was someone I hadn’t ever seen that time, so I was sure she was a first-year student. No, it was not the L word, but that first sight was for sure piqued my interest.
There were two girls walking side by side as they entering the school gate. They were walking with almost no invisible wall between them. You could say that their personal-space bubbles almost merged.
Even from distances, I could tell that they were close friend, from the way they talk to each other. They talked as if they had known each other for ages.
There was no nonchalant aura in their morning talk. They show appreciations when they talked. Respect, joy, and a little bit of adoration, those were all I could see from them.
I mean, what could be so interesting about morning-talk? We, boys, always yawn before greet each other in the morning. We couldn’t be bothered to see each other dead-fish eyes whenever we talk. But I guess boys will be boys.
So, the first thing I did was to wait for them to walked passed by me. Then I started walking beside them with a distance hoping that they wouldn’t notice. It was an act of impulse.
I remember when the first time my dad brought me to a modern art museum. There was this sculpture in a bizarre shape which I couldn’t comprehend. But I was very much attracted to it, and almost crossed the “do not pass” line to see it closer. But my dad pulled me back so I, or he, would not get scolded by the museum staffs. 915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZ6Sc141oA
I got closer but not closer enough for the girls to notice. They wouldn’t notice me as there were also people on the other side of, in front of, and behind them. That’s right. I blended in the crowd. We were just students who were walking together -but individually- to class.
The closest to me was this girl whom I would later know as Nao.
Nao was a girl with the brightest smile and energy among the two of them. She had a pigtails hair with an even bang. If her hair were to let down, it would be down long to her shoulder.
The short-sleeved shirt revealed her white skin on her hands. But it was slightly darker than her friend. Her slender body and the small chest made me assume that she was an athletic-type of a girl. She could move a lot with a body like that. Running, jumping, swimming, and jumping (I did mention it twice on purpose) with no –physical problem whatsoever.
But the charm was her eyes which fashioned her undeniably cute face.
She wasn’t even looking at me but I felt that if she did, she could drown me in a pool of admiration or left me lost in the maze of wonder.
The other girl -whom I would later know as Aya- was a little bit taller than Nao. She had a long sparkling hair down to her waist. It was a clear win on her bust area over her friend as she had -significantly- way more volumes than Nao’s.
Because of an act of impulse (again) –or more likely a boy’s instinct, for a while there I imagined many things. Aya running with that chest, jumping with that chest, swimming with that chest, and jumping with that chest (again, on purpose). I stopped of course, before my imagination went out of control, and my decency went AWOL.
If Nao had her eyes, Aya had her smile. That smile could melt away anything from the universe. Be it Saturn’s huge ring or even the large Jupiter planet itself.
I saw her smiling when she responded to Nao’s jokes and still grateful that I am still breathing right now.
Nao talked with a louder voice and cheerful tone while on the other hand, Aya sounded quitter and more serene than her friend. If I were to make a comparison it would be a trumpet and a flute.
We eventually reached the school building. I climbed the stairs to the third-floor building where my class was. The girls went to a corridor which would lead to their own respective first-year classrooms on the first-floor.
And that was “that” first time. Of course my curiosity did not stop there.
As days passed, I kept doing my morning habit, sitting on the bench near the gate. Reading a book and Mr. U’s coffee became cloaks of my true intention. I wanted to see her again. So morning after morning I became what people call a “secret admirer” for about weeks or so.
But nobody knew who I was admiring of. I kept it to myself, so my friends who recognized me in the morning didn’t know why I was sitting on that bench.
My close friends had already started invented nicknames even long before. They teased me by calling me "The Bench Man"or "The Man on the Bench" and it never even bothered me. In fact I thought it was kind of cool. "The Man on the Bench" I could use that as a novel title, except I am not good at writing prose.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIVhLIgk2Z
I use too much adverb and adjective in narrative it makes me looks like I am a lazy writer.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7s0Rdi3XDw
I am not efficient in using words and it makes some sentences very hard or even boring to read. I care so much in the content rather than the presentation, but I know it would never be an excuse for bad writing. Simply put, I would never be a good a writer.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jk3wilGky
It takes a month for me to write the first page of the first draft because writer's block comes all the time. Like that spam on your phone. You CAN NOT stop it from coming. While inspiration come so rare just like a morning rain in a summer days. You CAN NOT make it come to you deliberately.
That is why I am satisfied with just reading books or stories made by other people. Even though I am tempted every once a while to write, I would never write a story. It's because, I could not write a good story. Period. 915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5ZKduegEm
Finally, after many times of silent observation, my reasoning started to whisper in my head.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2NkdiqXh9
Come on stupid! How long are you going to keep this pathetic tedious act of cowardice? You got nothing to lose! Just go and ask her name! You dim-witted version of me. 915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynChs8GVZi
Despite the useful disposition, I was not sure the one who said that to me in my mind had a golden halo or two red horns.
So one day, on the bench, I decided.
I will at least ask her name now.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7vUVVEfc6
My mind decided so but my body seemed to betray it. Even though I had stood up from the bench, I couldn’t move even a single foot. What stopped me for a moment was, yet again, my reasoning.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQZ4syJdl3
Wake up, hopeless dreamer! Who do you think you are to make you believe that you are worth talking to an exquisite person like her? She is one of a kind, and you are next to nothing. Sit down!
And then the other “voice” butted in inside my head. Again I could not distinguish between the "halo guy" or the "horns guy" as both of them appeared to be foul-mouthed. 915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEV4wKkHjl
No, you stupid! Are you going to keep waiting until bears lay eggs? Or you going to be a man and at least die with pride. It is now or never, youngster!915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDFy46FYSi
It was the second hardest internal mind-debate I ever had. The first was when I wanted to put a mayonnaise on that spicy ramen I had for dinner.
It was like:
Put that white thing as the topping NOW or you may wake up every morning wondering how it would taste for the rest of your life! 915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfO0vbttsBl
And the other one was like:
OH NO YOU DON’T!
I felt like my former reasoning was partly right.
I mean, what could I say to her? There’s got to be many other guys who had tried to approach her, right? She would think of me as none other than just one of those insignificant hitters. Then she would probably brush me off like she always did anyone before. Assumptions after assumptions.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ziTuYfoJY
The clock ticked second after second as I was busy trying to figure out the way to approach her. People often say "just go" but hey, anybody can talk. It wasn’t easy even for a 17-year-old boy especially when he didn’t have a frank side to him. I was thinking some lines to say but any of them would have ended in failure.
Like:
Hey I’ve been watching you for many days all these weeks. You may not notice but I just can’t help but to look at you every single morning on this bench over there. But the frustrating thing is, I don’t even know your name. 915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3Mm9f7USS
I definitely couldn’t say that, because she would call a teacher. And the teacher would call my parents. My nickname would change to the infamous “The Stalker on the Bench”. A title for a suspense crime novel.
Then the amazing thing happened.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aglF4xSWl
As I still stood up with hectic things going on my head, Nao and Aya entered the gate. They walked few steps until they were finally at my line of sight. Then, while Nao spoke with her, Aya glanced at my direction and our eyes met for a divine brief moment. After that, she looked away quickly and what I saw next was her bashful little smile.
But THAT was NOT the amazing thing.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQjhIlo3cV
The amazing thing was when Mr. U –who happened to be there, saw me and Aya exchanged a glimpse of gaze. Then, He told me that Aya had once -politely- asked him about me. She asked my name, my class, and why did I sit on the bench every morning.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfZmTxhigL
From that moment, I knew it was a green light for me to go.915Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBY20eiq5o5
