Then I explained everything to Nao. I told her that I got the feeling that she didn’t trust me at all, and I was kind of worried because she never actually told me so. I told her, I even thought that maybe she didn’t like me being close with Aya.734Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDdejesBlh
She then laughed for quite some time and managed to grab attentions from some people around us on the way. Then after she seemed satisfied, she asked me why I would think of that.734Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaSTV3Qbee
I said “It’s because you were always avoiding me. Every time I approached Aya and you when you were together, you always scrammed right away. With excuses such as, had to do club practices, had to finish some tasks, had to borrow notes before you forgot, or had to return some books to the library.”
Then she stated that I had misunderstood. She said, that time, everything she said was true.
She did have to return some books to the library. Because she was late on returning the books she borrowed from the library. She said that she had to read it few times before she fully understood the contents.
She told me she did have to borrow notes from someone from her class. She confessed that she was not that good on academic fields and only slight above average. She always borrowed notes on some lessons that she didn’t understand. She had to or else her grades could fall behind.
And about the club practices. That was also true, she noted. Physical exercises were always her best expertise. That’s why she entered the cheerleaders club on her own choice. As a first year, she knew that she had to work harder than anyone else in the club. That’s why she showed her devotion by putting more efforts and also times because she didn’t want to betray her own decision.
After I heard what she explained, I understood that the problem was actually me. She did not dislike me. I thought too much of it.
But I wasn’t to one to be blamed, because I didn’t know how girls think or feel. I just made presumptions and assumptions based on what I knew. And the results were nothing near my conclusions.
I said to her “I see” with a huge relief because it was not what I thought of.
“So you do trust me?” I asked her a question. She replied “That it is of course different matter”. I was about to get disappointed until she told me that she was joking. That girl was such a teaser.
She then said that there was no more joy than being able to see her best friend (Aya) happy. She said that she would always supported Aya in any way she could. Because she knew that Aya would do the same for her. "No. I believe she will." she corrected herself.
I was so relieved and happy for it in a way. I was thinking of how Aya was lucky to be her best friend, and vice versa.
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We kept walking on the sidewalk, and I said “If you trust me, then you can tell me anything, right? For example, the reason you looked sad before. But of course you don’t have to and I don’t have the right to force you to. But I just want you to know that I’ll be there for you, if you need anything. Because you are important…”
Nao looked at me and probably wondered whether I had finished my sentences or not. Then I finished it with “… you are Aya’s best friend, after all.” Along with my subtle laugh.734Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEu6tLNwtA
When I thought I should give up on asking the sad-looking face that I saw before, she started to speak again. This time, she wore off the masked and showed her true skin. The lights in her eyes turned dim and her voice tuned down to her lowest range of vocal.
She said to me “Thank you senpai, but it’s nothing, really. I told you I am just tired” with a smile that looked very heartbreaking. For a moment there, I couldn’t believe myself that this girl, this very girl was showing me a sad smile like that. But then I remembered that she was only a girl.
So I gave all my attention to hear what she wanted to say which I believed there was going to be more of it.734Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCp6TdlWvv
Despite all the noises that occurred –some people who were relentlessly trying to get customers into their stores as we walked on some shopping district; the rackets that were made from the crowds who were bargaining with the seller; and the loud music from a mainstream-popular band that came out from the TVs that were showcased on an electronics storefront– I only focused to listen to Nao’s quiet voice as she spoke.734Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDHounbo1Y
I listened to her with ears wide open while she stated what’s on her mind.
She said she was on the track team when she was in middle school. Her parents who had already known her as a sporty type, insisted her on joining it. So she joined.
She trained for only one purpose. To run faster, she said. Faster than anyone, faster than herself. So she ran and ran.
She told me that she never knew she would win, but she won competitions and collected trophies. Her parents felt so proud of her than ever.
But when Nao was entering high school, she decided that she wouldn’t do track anymore. She told her parents what she really wanted to do. And they said okay, as long as it could make their daughter happy. So she joined the cheerleaders club on her own will. “It was the first time in my life I made a huge decision on my own.” She said, with eyes filled of conviction.
At that point, I suddenly knew the answer to my question. Even so, I continued to listen.
She said “I never did this kind of thing before, you know. All the others girl from the club, they’re so cute and pretty. At first, I felt out of place. But I pay no mind and focus on training, because I choose to be there on my own, and I don’t want to have any regret. I thought I would be good at this, because this is just another sporty activity, not too different than running. But I was wrong. I am falling behind. The seniors always scold me and they say I am the worst of all the first-years. I know they tell me that out of kindness. So that I can improve. That’s why I work harder than anyone else in the club. I practice morning and afternoon. It’s not to impress anyone, really. I just don’t want to disappoint myself.”
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