That feeling arose from the very short times we had actual interactions.775Please respect copyright.PENANAUg7JgLBQTZ
Nao always stormed off whenever I approached her and Aya together. It was like she wanted to be a good friend by giving Aya time alone with me. Or it could be she just didn’t like my presence. I mean she could stay a bit and chat with us instead of went right away, disappearing, fast, like a shooting star.
I once had a though that maybe Nao didn’t agreed on me getting close to Aya because she didn’t trust me. Maybe Nao kept quiet about it because she didn’t want to spoil her best friend happiness by not agreeing with her. Which could lead to a fight or even strain their friendship, so she showed it by avoiding me.
But then again, I remembered Nao was not that kind of girl who would keep quiet about it. She would rather just go and tell me to stay away from her best friend right on my face. So I was confused at that time. Did she or did she not support me with Aya?775Please respect copyright.PENANArKOyDtFjSa
Then I thought for a second that maybe the problem could be on me. I was thinking too much of it.775Please respect copyright.PENANANiXKfsitUg
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Having studied on the same school, of course we would bump into each other sometimes. At the corridor near the school entrance. At the stairs besides her class. On the hallway that lead to the school gym. Sometimes in front of any vending machines in our school, when I or she bought a drink.775Please respect copyright.PENANAyaj2ZuEVlc
And I called all of those “instant encounters” –of the two of us minus Aya. Why instant? Because all we did was -just- meet and greet.
We bumped > we said hi > either one of us said “you’re not with Aya?” > did chitchat for a bit > each of us stated our own initial purposes before we bumped into each other and the intention of continuing it > we said bye > we parted.
All above was done under 5 minutes. Just as instant as cooking a cup ramen. Thus, “instant encounters”.
It was a little bit hard to talk her. We never had a long talk. We met, greeted, small talks, parted. No more than that. It was a challenge for me to spread the conversation longer. So I said to myself that the next time we meet I would take the challenge and succeed on it.775Please respect copyright.PENANANqGKIFRT5x
And then, unexpectedly, the “challenge” came.775Please respect copyright.PENANAbwEZfLktbA
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One day, I had to do class chores with few other classmates after school and I finished very late. I walked out of school building toward the gate and then I saw Nao.775Please respect copyright.PENANAuOVKkHgcAi
She came from the direction of the school gym on her jersey and track pants. Her usual pig-tailed hairstyle was then absent and instead she tied it ponytail. That was new, because I never saw her without her pigtail. Or even her hair without being tied.775Please respect copyright.PENANANkJ5Od7v2z
Yeah, to think of it, even until now, I haven’t see Nao’s hair untied. Her hair must have grown longer. Or does she cut it on regular basis so it would stay at the same length as she prefer? I want to see it. I want to see her with her hair down. Do I? 775Please respect copyright.PENANA3Cfei72wK8
So, that afternoon, she walked slightly faster than my pace with her head down and a dejected look on her face. She passed me and seemed to not notice me, because her head was still down, and her face didn’t look as her usual self.775Please respect copyright.PENANAQIuucGpLjl
I said “hey” to her.
I said it twice but she didn’t respond to neither of them.
Just before she went further away I called her name with much bit louder voice than when I said “hey”. She stopped and the turned.
She then looked at me with that realization look on her face. It appeared as if she had just wake up from a daydream. Her dejected face which I saw earlier was gone as if it was vacuumed by a black hole in a speed of light.
She addressed me and then apologized for not noticing earlier. She admitted she was thinking of something. I told her not to mind it.
I asked her if she was on her way home, and would she mind if I walked with her to the station. She said okay. So we walked out of the gate and walked together to the station.775Please respect copyright.PENANAaM5XcDho6q
I knew it was reckless asking her to walk home together with me. Because the worst thing that could happen were awkwardness all over our travel.
But I didn’t want her, generally as a girl, especially as Aya’s best friend, to not trust me or even worst, hate me. So I thought this was a great chance to improve our relationship further.
So first was, of course, the small talk. I asked her if she just had a club practice. Because of her sport attire and her tired look told me.
The thing is, it is that easy to have a small conversation with her. BUT, you have to dive slowly deeper if you want to talk about something profound with her. Aya told me.775Please respect copyright.PENANA8ofVI6JxVI
If I have to make an analogy, it’s like swimming into a deep ocean. To reach the deepest level you have to prepare for everything.
You have to take a very long breath before diving in, or better yet have an oxygen tank. So that when you already deep enough, you wouldn’t run out of air and want to resurface soon.
Another one is a very good preservation. Remember when I said slowly, I mean bear with her small talk as long as you can. If you can’t, you won’t ever get that deep conversation with her. As if when swimming, you have to swim into the deep while preserving stamina. If you force yourself to swim with faster paces, you will finally get tired with no significant progress and the current may take you away until you might want to get out of the water.775Please respect copyright.PENANAWnjFTf3jsT
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So as we ran out of topics, brief silent ensued. Then, I braved myself to say the words that had been in my mind since I saw her in her sullen state before.775Please respect copyright.PENANAlMhFyOnNcz
I said “Are you okay?” to her; as honest as I could be.775Please respect copyright.PENANAJYroT8CB6h
She asked me why I asked that; with her face looked like she was trying to fool an opponent in a card game. It was like I was on the one side of a table with her on the other. I tried to guess whatever was on her mind and she tried to fool me with that face and asked me back with a question.775Please respect copyright.PENANA9rseRXhc5F
I told her that I saw her looking unhappy before. I said to her “You didn’t look like your usual self back then, when I said ‘hey’ twice and you didn't notice me.”
I told her that I couldn’t help myself to ask.
“What are you talking about, senpai?” She gave me a smile which I considered as feinting move.
Then she said that she wasn’t sad. She was just tired. Physically.
I knew what cards she held, but she denied it -still- with a face that wouldn’t tell that she was lying unless you knew she was.
Then she kept looking straight forward -with her face also straight- as we still keep walking on the way to the station. The sky was getting much darker as the sun waving its goodbye.
After a brief period, I talked more. I said to her “You can talk to me, you know.” She replied “I know. That’s what we are doing right now, isn’t it?”
I said that’s not what I meant. That time, I thought maybe she was plain clueless instead of being evasive. But no, it was the latter.775Please respect copyright.PENANAIDyW5cDpaJ