Chapter Seven
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSpqvbR3Bc
“And that’s a wrap!” I clapped my hands as I took another snap of Charlie which is dressed beautifully in the grounds of her university.
She gave me another smile and I took another snap, “I told you it was a better idea to hold the interview here. Plus, if those photos are good enough, it will both promote the gardens of the Preparatory and accentuates my features. The lighting here is so good!” and I chuckled at her giddiness.
I packed up my laptop and camera and got ready to go.
“Hey River…” Charlie called
“Yea?”
“You want to tour the school?” she asked quietly. I actually don’t want to because I’m thinking of going to a hotel to reserve a room then I’ll just lie about my parents going back early. Funny how the first thing back in Michigan, I would want to lie to Sterling again.
I carried my bags and nodded.
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPELcx21JoC
As we went through the halls, I knew that Charlie just wants to talk to me and doesn’t really care in touring the school. Finally, she spoke up, “River… Are you sure about that person you’re going to marry?”
“Of course.” I said simply.
“Why can’t it be Sterling? As far as I know you guys pretty much loved each other back in high school and then you going away and us moving happened. Why can’t it just be you guys together? You guys were in love.”
“Charlie…” I hold her hands, “Sometimes people that are meant to fall in love with each other is not meant to be together. You know what I mean? There are these instances that you guys met at the wrong time or in a wrong place, in the wrong situations.”
Charlie looked up at me with watery eyes, “Did you love Sterling?”
“Of course.” I said simply.
“Then why didn’t love find a way? Isn’t love enough?”
I took a deep breath as I felt my chest tightening because of the feeling of nostalgia. “Just know that your brother didn’t do anything wrong. This is all on me.” I said to her and let go of her hand as I walked away.
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXoB1APg9J
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUN5lcwFLTO
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeURwTutNsT
In the middle of my packing I heard the front door open. I wish it was Charlie because I don’t think I could lie to Sterling again.
Speaking of the devil, Sterling came straight to where I was and leaned on the doorway. “Leaving so soon? Are you parents’ home?”
I bit my lip and continued with my lie and finished packing. I was going out of the room when Sterling blocked the door with his arm, “You think I don’t remember how to catch you lying?”
I dropped my bags on the floor and sat on the bed exasperatingly sinking my face to my hands.
“What’s the problem?”
“You!” I exclaimed, “You are the problem again! You have always been my problem since back in high school!”
He scoffed, “I am the problem? Don’t you mean you are the problem? Why do you keep lying to my face? Do I look like a fool to you?”
I composed myself, “I don’t”, I hope my face won’t show any emotion right now just like I was after I last saw him.
“Then why did you lie to me back then? You know I came after you after all the things you’ve said but then you suddenly disappeared. Where did you go?” he searched my face for answers.
I smirked, “What’s the point of going back Sterling? Everything that happened before is nothing compared to what’s happening now”
“Was I really nothing to you back then?”
“Yes” Another lie.
“Was I nothing to you now?”
“Yes” I whispered… Another lie.
When I looked up the next thing I know is his lips crashing into mine and that’s when the what-ifs were replaced with now.
What if I didn’t lie? What if I didn’t tell you that you were nothing to me back then? What if our love story didn’t stop and continued until now? What if love was enough? What if it was the right time, right place and right situation? What if we were really meant to be together? What if I just told you the truth? What if I just told you I have a heart disease and you are becoming the death of me? What if I didn’t get that surgery? What if I didn’t meet Evan at all?
And that’s when I snapped back to reality.
I pushed him away and whispered through my heavy breathing, “No…”
“I never stopped River.”, he held my face with both of his hands and faced me to him, “and I know you never did stop either.” Those deep blue eyes I missed those deep blue eyes that I dreamed of staring at me. “Let’s try this again. Maybe this is destiny working on us. Please don’t fight it again, please let us be us again.” And he kissed me deeply again and once again I was drowned in the past.
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktx3FSlWQT
My ringtone snapped me back to reality and I quickly answered it before Sterling leaned in again, “Babe?” it said.
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpb0muCGBy
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeb8rc7pKFp
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQpeuu0P0n
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnAjz0WIZR
July 31, 2008
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0XQoWp50r
Dear S.W.
I’m sorry that I had to lie to you to get you away. I’m sorry that I have to hurt your feelings in order to spare them, or so I think.
You asked me what you did wrong. The thing is you didn’t do anything wrong. I made up these things that you were so slow and that I fell out of love and that I found someone new.
I’m sorry that I even have to contact your friends to tell them to tell you to just don’t come after me, to tell them that it’s over, that I didn’t love you the same.
I blamed it all on us not having a label, but the truth is I love how we just go on with our lives without having to please everyone and that you keep on reminding me that other people’s opinions are not important as long as I know who I am, as long as we know what and who we are.
You were always there in every bit of my senior year and I just hate it that I won’t be in yours. You were such a big part of my life even for just a year and a half. You were there when I took responsibility in school office, you were there when I sang in front of the whole school, You were there on my graduation nodding as I read out my valedictory speech. You were there through it all and I’m sorry if I can’t be in yours. You were my like my lifeline when everything went bad. I’m sorry if I’m letting go of your hand now.
You told me you would wait, but I told you not to because I don’t want you waiting on something that is unsure. I don’t want to raise your hopes up. I don’t want you to feel abandoned.
It’s the only way I could spare your feelings.
I told you that if we are meant to be together then destiny will find a way to let us meet again. I am looking forward for that day, that day that I could see you again, that day when we are older and wiser and that I didn’t have to make this petty move to spare our feelings.
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LVpFFmuat
854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLjl1bIU1B
I will go through my transplant operation today. I just wish that my letters will find themselves to you if I didn’t get to wake up from the hospital bed anytime now.
I just wanted you to know that I didn’t regret falling for you even though it has come to this. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I wish that I was the same to you.
Love,
R.Y.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuGXjsweKF
