Oh, the future. A terrifying, glorious, beautiful and horrible thing. We look forward to it like we look forward to a good meal when we're starving, and maybe consume it as such. ...Okay that didn't make sense. Moving on.
I think a lot of people will agree with me when I say the future scares the living daylights out of me. Sure, the prospect of following my dreams and seeing the world are all amazing and great to look forward to in their own right, but getting across the stepping stones to reach those possibilities are what makes the future so damn scary.
Especially for those of us, like myself, who are in their last year of high school. Thinking of what we want our lives to look like is rough. I know that I've had a hell of a time trying to figure out what university I want to go to. First, I thought 'oh! Maybe I could try for UBC...no, it's hella expensive...maybe this o- oh. No. Expensive...doesn't have what I'm looking for...' etc, etc. Just about every university I looked at wasn't perfect for my needs and the courses I want to look at. Even now it's still hard to try and choose from all the universities in the world.
I've considered studying abroad in England, going across Canada, everything. But nothing seems to fit. However, I'm lucky enough to know that I want to be a published author. Okay, so then I just need to look for something as simple as an English degree or a Creative Writing degree. Found that? Good. Time for price - OH. Not so good. What does student loans give me? That much? Okay, maybe. Put it on the maybe list.
That's basically how I've forced myself to look at things. Yeah, because of finances I have seriously limited options, but ohhhh glorious day. Scholarships.
I've been applying for any that I can get my grubby little hands on, writing cover letters, essays, anything that was needed. Most scholarships are never even given out to people, because no one ever applies for them. So! I decided - apply for all the little ones, and some of the big ones. The little ones will add up oh so nicely, if I get them, and yeah a big one would be SUPER nice, but I'm less likely to get it. There's always a way around finances, even if it means writing so many things...so, so many things for a simple $150 scholarship. It will be worth it. I have high hopes for that, at least.
So! For me, I think I'm going to apply at a nearby university, take only a couple courses, enough to keep me busy and also advance my trail to being a writer while also working on the side to pay any additional fees and also saving up for the next year when I might not have so many scholarships and their money at my disposal.
It's my best bet, and I can still live at home while doing it, so that's already a lot of expenses gone. Whoopee!
Yeah, I'm still scared about the future, but in terms of schooling, I think I might just be alright. A lot of things are uncertain, which bothers me, because I like to know how certain things will turn out before I jump into them, but I suppose it's just a risk I'm going to have to take to get through it all.
So it's been awhile since I last wrote on this (in the middle of an issue too, wow. So professional) and I can successfully say I made it through one of the craziest parts in life. College is coming quick - and I can't wait.
I can finally just be me, do what I want to do, and enjoy it.
And, you know, panic over exams.
But I think I'll be alright, all things considered. It's amazing to see how far I've come.
Also I think I should probably put this issue out soon, and start on the next in due time. I always forget that this thing exists.
So, here we go.
I'm off to enter an entirely new aspect of my life.
Lord help us all.
ns 15.158.61.8da2
