Dear Myself,
The moment I closed over the last page of my answer paper in the final exam, I knew for sure that my fate had been firmly sealed. Months of talking, countless number of times I had thrown my notes across the room in frustration and then the question surrounding if University really was the right place for me, hand on heart I can truly say that these exams don't showcase all of the skills I thought that I could offer. It was a long time coming, the sixth form suggested that I should retake year 12 last year but me being me, I chose to push on with year 13 and then decide in the end which route to take. Mum and Dad both support me and that is something I find truly grateful but deep down, everyone feels disappointed in me and I could have done so much better.
The Business Studies exams weren't all that negative which was a welcome bonus and after those papers, I felt my grade could have gone up by a little bit. But for Psychology and English Literature, that's a different story altogether. Totally paranoid about whether I spelt all of the author names correctly in my question since I always seem to get the right letters but the wrong way round. Luckily, the City College is only asking for GCSE grades and not A-Level ones otherwise I would be screwed with trying to find some employment or another place to study at. My application form finally got sent off and I've yet to hear back about an interview date. My cousin on Facebook messaged me and said I should do Business Studies instead but my heart currently is telling me that working with children is the right way to go. The course I selected is a BTEC in Childcare Practical Route which means I spend the majority of the course time in an actual nursery which is just down the road from the campus. That DBS check is going to be a little daunting but Diary, I definitely don't have any criminal convictions and never will have one!
Now that my exams are all over, I don't have to be at the sixth form anymore (yay!) so instead, I'm going to dedicate my time to the following things; Reading, Writing and Editing. I won Camp Nanowrimo which is totally amazing and celebrated with a packet of Oreos that I stole from Damien’s bedroom. On my iPad documents sit a 33,000 word story that now has a title: Haley’s Adventurous Summer which I may change at a later date who knows? But after reading some blogs with handy tips for finishing writing a story, most suggested to let your story sit for a while, celebrate and then re-visit the writing with fresh eyes and start to edit. That is the plan and since I wrote The End on the last day of April, I haven't touched anything on my documents. Exams, baby, break, all in one.
Mum and the baby named Jasmine Rose Betts are both back home and happily relaxing until Jasmine needs feeding or a nappy change and then she kicks off. Weighing seven pounds, twelve ounces at birth, she has big bright eyes and the cutest fingers which she wraps around Dad’s hand as if to say I love you. The congratulations cards have been flooding the mailbox each day since the birth and to my surprise, some had some money for me in which I have no idea why I deserve any money but still made me smile nonetheless. Holding my little sister in my arms felt weird and incredible at the same time, maybe a close bond will form between us? That would be amazing. Some of my old baby clothes were in the family loft so Damien agreed to climb up the ladder and find some to give to Mum for Jasmine. One of the old t-shirts had an apple picture on it and underneath the word yummy stitched in with blue thread. Putting it on her, she giggled at this new experience making the rest of us chuckle.
One of my summer goals is to use Twitter more often for chatting about books, writing and Jasmine and sure enough when a live chat was about to happen, even though my hands were shaking with fear as to how other people would react and on starting to post, I met a great number of users who were into the same things as me and lived all over the globe. One girl called Scarlett lived in Melbourne! Despite the massive time difference, our conversation, swapping stories about our daily lives and family members took me long into the night. 2:30am was when my head finally hit the pillow, no wonder the snooze button was slammed down five times later that day. I think the whole excitement of meeting new people and making friends online actually doesn't seem so bad. Obviously the whole stranger danger thing every Primary School child was taught still lingers in the background but that won't me stop me from talking to people like Scarlett at least. She was such a lovely person and responded quickly to my messages which was convenient and helpful so that time wasn't wasted.
This morning before I started writing this, my email had two messages in from school. One about a meeting towards the end of the month for me and my parents to catch-up post exams and work out where my education will go next and the other about the annual year 13 Leavers Ball held at a local hotel about twenty minutes’ drive from the school. To be honest, I hadn't really thought about going to the Ball but at the same time, what would Leia think if her best friend pulled a no-show? The deposit for the Ball hasn't been paid yet but there's still a little while before the money needs to be submitted to the head of sixth form.
I'm going to try and write some poetry now, wish me luck!
Yours,
Morwenna.
ns 15.158.61.6da2
