It had been a day since Lilac came to realise her feelings for Grey, and her admittance to Joanne.
She stood by the locker, rearranging her books and other miscellaneous things while lost in her thoughts.
That morning, she woke up and did her usual routine; refreshed, get dressed, eat breakfast and waited till Joanne drove them both to school. Unlike most heroines or protagonists in stories and movies when they're aware of their feelings, her heart didn't thump with the realization that she was going to see her crush at school, nor did it gave her mind a headache into thinking how she'll react around him.
Instead, what took up the space in them was the fact that she had a test the following day.
And she had forgotten to prepare herself for it.
"Why the sad face?" Someone said next to her.
Blinking, she turned towards the male voice and found Jaxon, her classmate in Band class, grinning.
Lilac groaned and rest her head against the locker once she shut it. "I think I've screwed the test."
Jaxon shook his curly blond locks and pulled his beanie down on his head, a confused look on his tan face. "Which one?"
"Social Science."
Jaxon slung an arm around her shoulders and said, "Hey, now. You're the best student I know. You'll do great."
"Jaxon, I think you're confusing me with Pamela, your ex."
For a brief second, Lilac could almost see the cogs in his mind working. And then, he grinned sheepishly. "Right. Haha. But I know you, you're great at what you do."
"We aren't even in the same class…"
"Just take my word on it, Lilac." Jaxon patted her shoulders with a confident grin on his face.
Rolling her eyes, she let him guide her to the next class and almost faltered in her step when she saw Grey lounging with some of his friends.
Instinctively, she ducked out of Jaxon's shoulders and wanted to make a turn but he already saw her. Lifting a hand up, he waved at her with an easygoing grin and damn her, for the first time since her morning class, she felt her heart flutter. She stood a few steps away from him, unsure of what to do. Should she run or just smile at him?
Beside her, Jaxon snickered lightly.
"You look constipated." He whispered while trying to contain his laugh.
Horrified, Lilac gave him a glare that made him chortle. "Don't you have somewhere to be, Jaxon?" She hissed frantically as she noticed Grey was now making his way towards her.
He stared at her mischievously and glanced back and forth towards Grey and Lilac but a dark glint in her eyes made whatever ideas he had dissipated as he nodded, the smile playing at his lips.
"Right." He chuckled. Then, in a louder voice, he continued, "Well, I'm gonna go see if my ex is willing to help me out. If you know what I mean." He threw in a wink before walking away.
Lilac screwed her eyes shut for a moment and looked at the floor.
Oh my God!
Why on earth did he say that? What if people think she was just refusing to give him some 'favours', as he intended it? No wait, she thought as she stared discreetly at others. People are already thinking that by the grinning look on their faces.
Jaxon, you ape!
Lilac willed herself to not let it get to her head or she couldn't control the embarrassing feeling that would certainly manifest on her cheeks through blushing.
Steeling herself, she brought her gaze to meet with his and was puzzled that his expression seemed…unreadable.
Is…this a good thing? Or massively bad, as in I probably won't have a chance with this guy, sort of massive? I can't even tell.
She shook her head away from those thoughts. First of all, how dare I even think that I have a chance with him? This is probably a one-sided thing from me, anyway.
Despite the self-depreciating pep talk, Lilac found herself actually calming a bit.
"Hi, Grey." She schooled her expression into a curious interest.
No. Too forced and weird.
"Hello." What are you, some indifferent British girl from the 19th century?
Damn it Lilac just calm down. At this point, Lilac wanted to kick herself for being foolish.
"Hey, Grey."
Now that's more like me, she nodded in satisfaction mentally.
All the while she was unconsciously making sure her greeting was just right, unknowing that she had spoken them to him, Lilac only realized she had done just that when she took notice of Grey's funny expression.
"Err…Grey?" She raised an eyebrow curiously at him.
A soft 'pft' sound escaped his lips before he said, "Hello to all your greetings."
What?
When her expression echoed her thought, that's when he lost it and laughed, the deep sound reverberating through the hallway. A few students looked his way but Grey didn't pay them attention.
While she gave him a blank, unamused look because she had a feeling somehow that the laugh was direct – well are still directed to her, her mind decided to play the words she said to herself earlier. Did I say them out loud…?
As the thoughts played in her mind, it seemed to make sense even more that he was laughing because she actually said those words aloud.
Oh my God, how much more of an idiot could I be?
Her cheeks reddened but she met his laughing gaze defiantly.
He chuckled. "You do realized you said them aloud?"
"I do now." She muttered in embarrassment.
Grey lost it, he laughed again which brought some stares to him but he didn't seem to mind. Lilac felt her cheeks pinked before she glowered at him, though it looked as though she was pouting. He laughed even harder.
After a few minutes passed, she only raised an eyebrow at him in irritation. "You done?"
Heaving a sigh, he nodded and wheezed, "Sorry…but yeah."
Lilac shook her head at him before what happened yesterday flashed in her mind. Specifically, the part where she walked away from him when she realized her feelings.
In a sea of rowdy students in the busy hallway, the both of them faced each other without another word. Lilac tried to look at him without blushing and started a little awkwardly, "So…"
A lopsided grin graced his lips when he said, "So…," he trailed off. "You alright?"
She knew he was referring to that afternoon at the court. The thing she worried most when she mulled over everything the night before was how to act around him but seeing that he wasn't affected by her weird behaviour made her feel a little at ease.
As well as flattered that he cared enough to ask how she had been doing, although at the same time there was an unknown and heavy feeling that settled within her gut.
She was nonetheless relieved that he didn't make a big deal out of it, however.
"Ye-yeah. Sorry if you got weirded out yesterday." She laughed a little. "I just remembered about something that I needed to do." A lie. A smooth one, but still a lie that she couldn't believe came up at the top of the hat.
Grey stared at her, a bit longer than he normally would before a smile broke out of his face. "Don't worry about it." The bell rang at that moment. Chuckling, he said, "Well, I'll see you around later."
Even though her nerves were aware that he was within reaching distance, she tried to not let her emotions get to her, lest she became a bumbling, blushing fool in front of him. She did managed a wide grin at him and nodded. "Yeah, later Grey."
She watched Grey walked away and greeted some guys and girls as they passed him by, unaware of someone's presence behind her.
To someone who knew Lilac on a passing glance, they wouldn't suspect anything going on; after all, there's nothing unusual about a guy and a girl talking to each other in the hallway before their next class, or that it was odd that said girl looked like she had something under her sleeve with her ear to ear grin. They also probably wouldn't notice she was trying her hardest not to show anyone that she had a crush on the guy in front of her so hard, she could barely keep her composure.
But Joanne, who knew her on a familiar level, could recognize all that, having seen them when she came around a corner and managed to catch some parts of their conversation as she drew inconspicuously nearer towards them.
Hiding behind an open locker beside the classroom, she waited until Grey was out of their sight before making her presence her known.
Lilac gave a short startling squeak before turning around to glare menacingly at her best friend.
After calming herself, she shook her head and scowled. "You're not normal because normal people don't do that when they greet people."
Joanne shrugged. "Eh, that's fine 'cause I don't wanna be boring. And I only said 'boo'." She said in a 'duh' tone as she rolled her eyes.
"Whatever." Lilac sighed. She adjusted her bag on the shoulder and started walking, Joanne fell into her pace beside her. Casually, Lilac asked, "So, how's your test?"
Joanne made a 'tsk' sound and said, "I probably did enough to pass it. Better yet, how's you and," at this part, she whispered to Lilac's ear with a grin, "loverboy going on?"
Lilac's face became flushed and she push Joanne's arm with her shoulder and said, "The heck? Don't say that word!" She looked around hastily at the almost empty hallway, making sure no one heard that. Who knows, he might have some friends loitering around who could have heard that.
Joanne looked at her in disbelief. "It was just a whisper." Then, she pursed her lips. "Calm your tits."
It was Lilac who now looked at Joanne in disbelief. "Really? And what is with that word? I don't get why people say that whenever someone's having a crisis!" She blew away a strand of hair in front of her eyes and sighed. "And I tried to chill. I really did but I barely managed it. I don't know what to do, Jo. Did you know, that for one second," she held up her index finger and wag it in front of Joanne dramatically, "I almost wanted to run away from him? Reflex! Seeing him today suddenly drives my hormones insane!"
Lilac looked like she wanted to tear her hair out and Joanne put her arms on her shoulders. "Okay, just take a breather for a second. I know you're freaking out but you need to chill. Or the whole school is gonna know you have a crush on him. If this is the state you're in now, what are you gonna do then?" She gave her a pointed look.
Shit, I don't even want to think about it!
Okay, breathe.
She needed to pull it together. Putting a hand on her chest, she massaged it gently and tried to calm her erratic heartbeat.
"Okay," she took a deep breath in before exhaling it out. "I'm calm."
Joanne nodded. "Good. Remember our conversation, just be yourself. And one more thing which I should have said yesterday but it slipped from my mind…remember that pep talk you gave me whenever I get anxious about something? Well, I'm saying it back to you."
Joanne held both Lilac's shoulders and mustered her serious look, the expression she wore when she was about to kick someone's ass in volleyball. "You're the one who's in control of your emotions, not the other way around. You're a sensible girl who will not be defeated by her own thoughts and emotions." Then, she smiled. "Okay?"
Lilac blinked. "I…did say that before, huh. Wow…that was long and I had no idea how I memorized th – "
"Lilac." Joanne's voice was flat and unamused.
"Got it. Focus." She replied quickly. Now's not the time to be distracted.
"Good, just repeat them to yourself and don't forget it. You're the one who taught them to me, anyway." Joanne grinned.
Lilac mentally repeated them and when she did, she remembered the time when she had said them to Joanne before. She stared at her best friend softly and let out a little chuckle. "You remembered, huh."
Joanne gave a 'duh' look. "That made me realize some things so of course I did, you dummy."
Lilac laughed. "Thanks, Jo. You're a great friend."
Joanne flipped her hair and cocked a hand at her waist. "Well," she drawled confidently and waggled both eyebrows at Lilac. "You can say that again."
Lilac rolled her eyes though she smiled. "And unbearable. Oh, and please don't call him loverboy." She pleaded Joanne with a wincing look.
Joanne cackled, which at that moment reminded Lilac of Henry. "Oooh, but you know you want him to be~"
A weary sigh. And then, "You do know that I have a thick Econs book with me, right?"
A quick reply. "Right."
At lunch time, Lilac met with her friends, Joanne and Jaxon by the table outside the cafeteria. Across from her, she saw Grey's friends walking in her direction but Grey wasn't with them.
Henry, the Mohawk haired guy with two more of his friends stopped by and Lilac greeted them. Henry exchanged greetings with Jaxon and her but he ignored Joanne which was completely reciprocated by Joanne as well.
Lilac balked inwardly. Never would she have thought that since they've met, both Joanne and Henry would ignore each other's presence and not bicker.
She wasn't sure if this was heaven sent or trouble brewing and therefore found herself a bit befuddled by this. Lilac glanced at Joanne but the girl just looked around her as she sipped her carbonated drink.
As Henry and his posse were passing her, she couldn't help but ask, casually of course, "Um, where's Grey?"
Henry smirked, something he wore whenever he found something amusing. Lilac raised an eyebrow. I'm pretty sure I did not make a joke.
"He's behind you."
Her eyes widened and she turned around quickly to see Grey smiling that lopsided grin of his.
He raised his eyebrow and Lilac was certain he was only teasing her when he said, "Missed me already?"
As if on cue, her cheeks heated up and she tried to hide the blooming smile as she cast her gaze at his shirt. Clearing her throat quiet, she looked up and gave him a 'ha, funny' look.
"You wish." She blurted out quickly, before getting herself together and opted a casual look - it was an attempt, albeit a poor one, to ease the erratic beating of her heart.
Grey grinned at her and put his hands in his pockets, before shrugging with a waggle of his eyebrows. "Oh I wish, alright." He then patted Henry on the back and fist thump some of his friends.
Lilac didn't even attempt to hide the blush tainting her cheeks, nor calming down her pounding heart.
Damn it, Grey. Don't do this to me!
The way he said it made Lilac hoped for a miniscule moment that he somehow, maybe, probably had some feelings for her – and was it just her or was he totally flirting with her? She couldn't tell, which frustrated her because she didn't have this sort of problem with other guys when they made a move on her.
Wait, can I even call this a move?
Alright no, this is ridiculous. Grey is a funny guy, which I know and this tone of his…this teasing tone – I've heard it before even when he was making jokes to his friends.
Yeah, okay I'm reading too much into this.
Lilac sighed in quiet frustration at herself, her brows furrowed as she looked away from them, but when she looked back at her friends, she caught Joanne's and Jaxon's gaze.
Theirs spoke of something she'd seen about a thousand times. After all, she had also done the same thing when one of her friends were caught in something like this.
They were indirectly telling her that she has got it bad for Grey.
Not only Joanne, but now Jaxon also knew I've got a thing for Grey!
She shook her head to herself. Lilac was beginning to accept the idea that she was already helpless when it came to him, and that only fuelled the heating hues on her cheeks and made her feel more overwhelmed at how quick all of this are moving for her.
Damn it. I don't think I am sensible enough for this.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
