They were in Joanne's room, Jaxon sitting on the bean bag, looking like he would need the company of a toilet soon based on his sickly expression. He was bloated over eating a few servings of mac and cheese and pretzels.
As did their prediction, he sought the bathroom.
Lilac and Joanne both laid on their stomach on the bed, shaking their heads at him as he rushed towards it. Despite them telling him to stop shovelling more food into his mouth, Jaxon seldom listen to them and so, they could only watch now as Jaxon paid the price for his greediness.
Lilac was telling them about what happened after Joanne left, from what he said to his reactions when Liam made a joke.
The sound of Jaxon's retching made them pause momentarily, both looking at one another before sighing. The got up and neared the bathroom.
"Jax, you alright in there?" Lilac shouted, hand already on the doorknob.
Retch. Moan. Retch.
Jaxon's response was a mixture of a low moan and a growl.
"Oh boy." Lilac muttered, her face wincing before turning it. "I'm coming in!"
"He's lucky he's our friend. I'll go get some wet towels." Joanne sighed.
Half an hour later found a slightly better looking Jaxon on the bed, with Lilac and Joanne on the floor. Both Lilac and Joanne knew that Jaxon was in no way fit to even speak, but they wanted to prolong his torture a little bit for not listening to them earlier.
"Jaxon, if you can participate in this conversation, the ball's in your court." When he didn't acknowledge it, she continued, "Say something."
He let out a deep grunt.
Satisfied, Joanne grinned at Lilac. "Okay, let's get back to the topic." Her smile feel and in place, a scowl. "Did I hear you wrong just now? Did you just said he rejected you?"
Lilac pause in thought before saying, "Not exactly but his reactions should be telling enough, right?"
Joanne tapped her lips with her finger. "Well….uh. Jaxon, what's your say in this?"
Jaxon moaned and whined. He was trying to get them off his back. Taking pity on him, she said with a deep sigh.
"Fine. Next time, please listen to us when we tell you to stop, got it?" At his moan-grunt, Joanne relented, Okay…we'll leave you be then." Joanne nodded understandingly.
"But we'll throw some points for your attempt, Jax." Lilac couldn't resist saying. Then, she added to Joanne, "I know he didn't say it himself. But Jo, you should have seen his face. He…he looked so uncomfortable, like even the thought of being in a relationship with me made him sick."
She felt like bursting into tears at the thought of it, but held herself. She couldn't keep crying every time her mind brought her back to Grey. She blinked rapidly.
Joanne bit her lip at the sight of her lovesick yet heartbroken friend. "Aw, Lilac." She pulled Lilac down with her and they were now lying on the bean bag, side by side.
A moment later, Joanne continued. "You know what I think? I think…there's more to this story than what it is. I mean, really, in all the times you've known Grey, did he ever do something that would make you think that before? Has he said that he's uncomfortable? From what I see, he doesn't strike me as someone who seems repulsed whenever he's with you. And Jaxon can vouch for that if he's…" Joanne looked up to see Jaxon sleeping, curled to the side. "Yeah, he's knocked out."
"No, but that's because we're friends." Lilac said quietly, and then added, "I'm just… what if what happened today is a sign from the universe…or something."
Joanne cracked a smile. "The universe, huh? Indeed. But it could also be a sign of something better. Of course what you feel and think are valid. I just think that you should hear his side of the story too."
Lilac stayed quiet as she ponder on her friend's advice.
Indeed, she was quick to judge. Despite her still believing that confessing to Grey most likely would not end well for her, but she should at least hear what he had to say, should she confess to him. It was the only way to dispel her thoughts about the 'what ifs 'and 'maybes'.
"Thanks, Jo. I'm so hopeless at deciding, even though you've given me great advice. Both of you."
Joanne chuckled. "Don't mention it." She patted Lilac's hand. "What are best friends for, right?"
Lilac giggled and hugged her friend. Then, a thought occurred to her and she asked Joanne in curiosity. "Is there something going on with you and Henry? Things have been getting better since you met him again."
"What? No, there's nothing between us." Then, as if Joanne knew what goes on in Lilac's mind by the hopeful tone in her voice, she turned to her and said, "I hope you're not thinking on doing anything, Lilac."
"Do what?" Lilac's eyes were a little too wide, trying to seem like she hadn't been thinking of a plan for Joanne and Henry in her mind.
"I know that look. Don't, okay? Just…we're not going to hook up or whatever. At the very least, we're just friends. So, don't try to play the matchmaker here and trying to get us on a double date with you and Grey." There was a smile in Joanne's voice.
The thought of the four of them going on a date puts a huge smile on Lilac's face, and she couldn't help from letting out a few titters. But then she thought of the possibilities – and ultimately, the results – if she decided to plough on.
Make it or break it, huh? Such a scary notion.
"If." She said suddenly.
Joanne, knowing what she meant, repeated it, though it came several beats later. "Okay. If."
The two girls had a smile on their faces, if only a little as they fell asleep beside one another.
After the weekend, Lilac came to school, feelings of apprehension swirling in her. With Jaxon still unwell and Joanne unexpectedly catching a cold, she was on her own right now.
She spent the day after her sleepover helping her mother, doing house chores and assisting her brothers with their home works. When Sunday rolled around, Lilac was doing anything she could to distract herself from the incident that happened on Friday. From cleaning out her closet to attempting to cook dinner for her family, she still couldn't ignore the elephant in the room.
Grey had tried calling her and even texting her again, and she felt horrible ignoring him. She was afraid of what she would say to him. No doubt she would pretend like she was fine, which she sort of still wasn't, though that's beside the point.
The point was, that Joanne had been blowing up her phone demanding her to at least text him back after she found out Lilac hadn't replied him when he texted her. It didn't make things easier that Grey had been calling her close friends – Jaxon and Joanne – but she had them sworn not to say anything.
She swore she wasn't cruel, though mildly petty and very, very cowardly at the moment. While she had mostly gotten over the Grey-Chelsea incident, the matter of her ultimate crush on him kept intruding her mind.
Just do it! her traitorous mind screamed at him. What's the worst that could happen?
Uh, everything?! She would yell back, though silently.
She was deeply torn again. Lilac desperately wanted to talk to him again, to act as they were before, but she couldn't do that without addressing why she went M.I.A on him, because fact number one, she sucked badly at telling lies, and number two, she couldn't do it without telling him the truth.
So what was a girl – or rather, this girl to do?
She decided to hide from him. Again.
"'Sup, Lilac?" A cheery voice said. An arm was slung over her shoulder, bringing her closer to the person.
She turned and gave a startled 'gah!' and would have successfully taken a step back if she weren't cage tightly against the person beside her. "Henry!"
"Lilac." Henry nodded at her, his grin suddenly seeming sharper than she had seen him. "What's your first class?"
"Uh, Econs." She was wary because Henry wasn't known to be in school early in the morning. And here he was in the somewhat scarce parking lot, at 7:30 A.M., holding her like they were best buddies– which is something completely unlike him – because Henry doesn't do 'buddies'. He did fist bumps and slaps on the back.
"Cool, I'll walk with you." was his nonchalant reply as they walked towards the school.
Lilac knew enough that there was something else going on. So, mustering the strength to disentangle herself from his grip, she twist his arm and freed herself, facing him with a frown. "Okay, what do you want?"
He wasted no time getting to business, either, it seemed. "What's going on with you and Grey?"
Henry looked menacing and intimidating without his usual cheerful façade and for once, Lilac felt some slight fear trickling down her spine. But she squared her shoulders, telling herself she shouldn't be afraid of him, when she had seen him perfected this on so many students, mostly to make them leave him alone whenever he was annoyed.
Henry didn't seemed angry or annoyed, in fact, he looked like he was struggling not to break under his cool composure.
"Henry." Lilac said in that deflated, 'yeah, it's not working' tone of voice. Sure enough, his face broke into a grin.
"C'mon Lilac, won't you tell me why my close friend – your close friend, too – is being a fucking sour grape for days? He keeps mentioning how you haven't been texting him back." At that, his pierced eyebrow raised in deep curiosity.
Oh, shit.
Lilac's surprise and shocked expressions didn't go unnoticed by Henry who seemed more curious yet amused, too. Not knowing how to respond, she blurted out angrily at the first thing her mind could think of.
Lilac frowned, suddenly feeling defensive. "So he sent you here to ambush me?"
"Ambush?" Henry's brows rose up further before shrugging. "No, he didn't. I'm here because you're the last person he spoke to before things got weird. He's not the Grey I know and everyone knows you're both tight, and 'cause I'm a genius, I knew it's got something to do with you. So, what happened?" He looked at her expectantly, crossing his arms.
Lilac opened and closed her mouth a few times, looking like a deer in headlights. When she still couldn't find something to say, she bit her lip in frustration.
Henry knew then that something did happened between his friend and Lilac. He didn't lie to her, he just didn't tell her the entire truth; he was there because he was concerned about Grey. His best friend had been gloomy ever since last Friday and he'd had enough of Grey pacing his garage with his woes. Henry even tried coaxing some information from his ex, Joanne, but if there was anything he remembered about the girl he used to date in 8th grade, was her skepticism. He smiled a bit sadly at the thought, though inwardly. Back then she was skeptical to believe any rumours about him, until he was caught in it.
Joanne hadn't trusted him since their break up and she had become very protective and loyal too. He could appreciate that, but found it irritating especially since it hadn't given him a way to sort the problem.
And so, he had no choice but to approach Lilac. The thing that Lilac didn't know however, was that he had pitched in a suggestion to Grey that would help him.
And he had been buying time until he saw Grey around the corner.
With a wider grin this time, Henry shrugged and patted Lilac's shoulder. "Hey, it's cool if you don't wanna tell me, but the least you could do is talk to him yourself." Henry saluted someone behind her before walking away with his devil grin.
Confused and highly suspicious, she turned around quickly just to stumble back, a short but sharp scream leaving her lips.
"FUCK!" She cussed out loud, face growing paler when she realised it was the boy she had been trying to avoid.
"Grey." Lilac swallowed inaudibly, panic engulfing her.
She was screaming internally, as her mind struggled to think of something quick that would make her get out of this confrontation.
I'm not ready to face him yet. Not right now, and not this way!
Too frightened by her sudden predicament, Lilac didn't pause to think of what those thoughts might mean to her.
"Lilac." Grey spoke her name quietly, though his eyes held a determine glint in them. He was adamant in getting his answers from her today.
Answers that Lilac herself hadn't prepared to give yet.
"I have to go. I'll be late for class." She said suddenly, trying to side step him. But Grey was faster, taller, and bigger than her despite her being a few inches shorter than him.
"You won't be late. We've got twenty more minutes until classes actually starts." Grey said, giving her a look that said she could do better than that.
Crap. Damn, shit, fuck, UGH!
When she bit her lip, she failed to notice Grey's eyes momentarily glanced at them. He shook his head but frown, making his features darkened as he said, "Lilac. Why are you ignoring me?"
"I-I'm not." She looked anywhere but him.
"Please don't lie to me." He closed their distance and step towards her, making her back hit the lockers.
Lilac's eyes widened at their close proximity and she felt her heart thumping loudly in her chest. No, this is…too soon. And I haven't even…
"Why are you doing this?" She said to him in helpless frustration, and for the first time since she last spoke to him, Lilac held his gaze. She tried despite almost buckling under his unnerving gaze.
"Why haven't you been answering my calls?" He pressed on, gaze unblinking, but still mindful not closing in on their distance.
They were close, though not close enough that their personal space were being breached. Lilac hated that he was still considerate even in this situation, even though that's one of the reasons why she fell for him.
Because I am a coward, she thought to herself in shame.
Lilac thought Grey still looked delectable, with his soft brown eyes, tanned skin, and those lips. Those damn kissable lips…
He even smelled good.
Despite what Henry said about Grey feeling distraught, which felt like several arrows of guilt piercing her heart, he looked well, saved for the almost noticeable dark bags circling his under eyes.
She kept her mouth shut, her chin lifted defiantly.
She wondered what Grey saw in her in that moment as he seemed to be studying her. When she couldn't take his studious gaze, that's when she saw it.
A flicker of amusement in his eyes and the pulling of smile by his lips had Lilac's defenses kicking in.
She felt mocked, and this was the last thing she wanted from him.
She couldn't stand there feeling like she was being made fun by him, and so for the second time that day, Lilac mustered her strength to push another boy away from her.
Grey's eyes widened before he frowned, trying to reach for her. "Lilac, wait."
"Is this a game to you? Are you making fun of me?" She looked at him in obvious hurt, her eyes narrowing into slits. Don't cry, don't cry, just don't.
"No!" He looked bewildered and a little affronted. "Why would you think that? All I want to know is why you have been avoiding me! Lilac, I thought we're good friends." Grey's voice cracked a little towards the end, although the impact was felt more on her.
Good friends.
Yes, they were good friends, maybe on their way to becoming great even, but her greed in wanting more could either break them apart and that possibility was a serious risk she needed to mull properly before making her final decision.
She tried to smile, though she knew it didn't reach her eyes. Lilac felt frazzled and she just wanted to tell him everything, but she felt as though the moment hadn't been right. It was a strong hunch that she couldn't ignore.
"And I will." She looked at him helplessly, her eyes pleading for him. For what? His understanding? For him to leave her alone? She didn't dwell on its meaning. "Just not now."
And just like that, Lilac Savannah Logan disappeared on her crush once again, leaving him even more frustrated and confused than he had been since last weekend.
If Lilac had looked behind her and saw Grey's expression, perhaps she would have come to a decision.
But perhaps she would be heartbroken.
Or, perhaps, she would encounter both.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
