Summary: Set in S3 "The Departed." What if Elena had died, instead of becoming a vampire? Here is Damon's POV.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BTSJ5imHJ
My name is Damon Salvatore and I am a deeply emotionally hurt vampire. My world as I know it is shattered because Elena Gilbert, the human girl I love, is dead forever. I haven't cried for 173 years, but as I look down at her headstone in the graveyard, tears silently fall. I'm alone tonight, which I'm very grateful for.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZR4NPl1p7
"Elena, I never told you this because I thought it didn't matter, but you and I met first. We met the night you had a fight with Donovan about your future. I didn't want Stefan to know I was in town yet, so I made you forget that you and I met," I confess.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7wVZJh1Ou
The flashback comes to me and I let it.
It's a dark night, as I lie in the middle of one of the many roads in Mystic Falls, waiting for my food, humans, to come.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lgRbTGrgi
A few minutes later, I hear what I think is Katherine's voice. So at vamp speed, I arrive now far from her.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswjjwHihBp
She looks up after putting her cell phone away and sees me.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5waHpoT79Q
"Katherine," I greet, though she smells human. Not only that, but she also looks identical to my Sire, Katherine Pierce.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY75XOwb8MB
"No, I'm Elena."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvffMe308A
"I'm Damon."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoK7fn1jSg
I start to walk off, but then I go to stand in front of her at a human pace.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oOSPuXWzw
"I'm sorry. You just really remind me of someone," I add.
"I get that a lot."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmB3rvGDguK
"What are you doing out here all alone?" I ask her.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvYyxJXuD2
"Why? Nothing bad ever happens here."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPhWekXmC1
I wait for her to continue on and she realizes this.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0h7w4VtJA
"Ex-boyfriend; I'm waiting on my parents. He thinks he has it all planned out."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqLvWGX5Zg
"And you don't want it?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuylNMF3a4W
"I don't know what I want."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8C7DQgqXL
"Well, that's not true."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7HvkLGwe7
"Okay, Damon; the mysterious stranger who has all the answers. What do I want?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMO4vh8D6x
"You want what everyone else wants. You want adventure, mystery, and maybe a little danger."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHumXzE5l3e
We see a car coming and she says, "That's my parents."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ1oDMAbYM
"I want you to get what you want, but right now, I want you to forget this ever happened. Can't have anyone knowing I'm in town yet."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ym4wR2rXm
At vamp speed, I'm gone from her sight, when she looks back.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqryzdUNvk
The flashback ends.
"There's something else, too. When I returned your Vervain necklace to you, I told you that I love you, but I made you forget. I wanted you to be happy with my brother as long as you could. I didn't think I deserved you, because of all the terrible things I've done. I'm sorry, Elena."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Qk9VajPJT
I get another flashback.
I stand in Elena's room, waiting for her to come out of her bathroom.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fhmbZPL0k
A few minutes later, she comes out and sees me.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBhzxFlB6w
"Nice p-j's," I comment.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TIFAPgYpB
"Damon, I'm tired."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIANF92fZUl
I go to stand just inches from her.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRDxxGslZ0
"I brought you something," I say, and hold up her necklace so she can see it.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8BhhH0CZj
"My necklace."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7JvtcqrOk
She reaches up to take it from me, but I pull it back.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmp3Y8iT6Y
"Please give it back."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgWgOw0CKa
I have to say something," I inform her.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZ41ECFgf7
"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?"637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ae6y9NiYG
"Well, because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfless thing I've ever said in my life."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7p9N634X3
"Damon, don't go there."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfD49zgZGTU
"You only have to hear it this once."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKCc2w36b8
She's silent, so I continue.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUmnewXyAI
"Elena, I love you. And it's because I love you, that I can't be selfish with you. I don't deserve you, but my brother does."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0wL38l9XZ
She silently looks at me and I add," Good, I wish you didn't have to forget this; but you do."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJ0yfYuuki
At vamp speed, I'm gone after quickly putting her necklace on her.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntHGdPzhCj
The flashback ends.
I let "Will You Remember Me?" play in my head. I then let memories of Elena surface as flashbacks.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhePbYeY7S1
I remember when she and Stefan were together and I was helping her in the kitchen at her house. I had walked passed her, brushing our sides together. She had told me when I had done so, "You did that on purpose." I had replied, saying, "Yeah; I was purposely trying to get to the sink." She had smiled at me and laughed while she had shaken her head at me; probably in dismay or irritation.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzbyYIdfeH
I remember when a hybrid by the name of Klaus had killed her by drinking from her. I had made her drink my blood that afternoon, so I would know that she would come back. That evening, I had taken her body home and set her on her couch. As I had waited for her to awaken I had said, "If you come back a vampire, I swear I'll kill you myself", because she had never wanted to be one. When she had awakened, I had asked her, "How do you feel?" She had replied, saying, "I feel…fine." I had sighed in relief that she wasn't in transition.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qdhUITiph
I remember when I was dying of a werewolf bite, since werewolf bites can be deadly to a vampire. At the time, we didn't know the cure for a werewolf bite. Elena had informed me on my death bed, when I had told her that she "should go," saying, "I'm not leaving. I'm here until the very end." Later, we had been told by my and Stefan's Sire that Stefan had given himself up to Klaus to get the cure; Klaus' blood.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXusohdONn
I remember when I had rescued Elena from the hospital, when Klaus had compelled a nurse to drain her slowly of her blood. When I had had her at my place feeling better, she had asked me, "Where were you, Damon?" I had answered her, saying, "I promise you, I will never leave you again."637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsw9hwxwQG
I remember after we had failed to kill Klaus, that I was so upset that I had shattered my glass and it had fallen in front of the fireplace in pieces. Elena had come up to me, as I had yelled, "We thought of everything! Everything, Elena! We even brought in Katherine so you wouldn't be part of the equation! We had him!" Elena had told me, "Hey, look at me. Damon, look at me. We'll get through this. We always do." I had looked back at her silently.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgr91jAnIy
I remember when I had walked Elena home one night and had confessed to her, "For one second I thought I wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore." She had asked, "Guilty? For what?" I had answered, "For wanting what I want." She had replied, saying, "Damon." I had said, "Good night, Elena." She had said, "Good night, Damon." I had started walking away, but had turned around and come to stand in front of her. "No. You know what? If I'm going to feel guilty for something, I'm going to feel guilty about this." I had kissed her, before I had left her on her porch.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qbxEJmyKJ
I remember when we had been looking for Mary, a vampire that had Sired Rose. We had stayed in a motel room with Elena's little brother as a tag along. I had left the room and Elena had followed me. A few minutes later, we had started kissing, before Elena's brother had interrupted us to tell us that Rose had found Mary.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUmMmCYP0Y
I remember when Elena had saved my life in Georgia from a vengeful vampire, after I had saved hers in Mystic Falls after she had rolled her car and then blacked out on me, when I had been making sure she was okay.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkFrxni4RB
I remember when I had hallucinated that Elena had rescued me from Rebecca torturing me for revenge.637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ170Ia1uzLz
I smile sadly down at her grave, as the tears stop and the memories stop playing in my head. Then I leave the graveyard and head home. I'm silent, though I want to shout that she isn't dead. I wish she wasn't, but my wishes and dreams never come true. I'm hopeless and feel as if I want to die. I'm angry that I wasn't there to save her from drowning when the car went off the Whickery bridge. Stefan did what she begged him to do; save Donovan first. When he did and came back, she was dead. He tried to bring her back, but it was too late. My brother respected her decision. I don't blame him, but I also don't understand why she thought the world would be a better place with one more quarterback in the world. Sometimes I didn't understand her, but I will always love her. I will never let her go; my Elena.
