Noah and I were happy with our new family. Mom and Dad loved us beyond limits. We may have been adopted, but we knew that we were loved and wanted. Despite how we got adopted, we were like a normal family. We had our chores and we had our fights. Despite that, Noah was the best brother anyone could wish. The story could finish here, with us finding happiness. However, life has a way of coming to a full circle.
Besides our happiness, there as always a dark side about me. A side that I had no one to talk about. I tried talking with Noah about the camp and the general, but he always changed the subject. I wanted to tell my adopted parents the truth and hell we experienced, but I was afraid. The experiences I had at RAD camp damaged a part of me. It was a dark part of my history that always reminded me that I was different than my friends. The pain from the torture I experienced always stayed with me.
Noah grew up to be a fine man. He was a coach at the high school and was married with 3 children. He was a good husband and a great father and he loved his job a lot. I was so happy at his success and in a way, I was jealous of him. He never talked about his birth mom or the time he spent at the camp. At times he even forgot he was adopted. All this made me jealous, as it must have been a gift to be able to forget.
I had many friends when I grew up. I still liked hanging in the mall and sometimes I came home a bit late. I also had a lot of boyfriends. My adopted parents did not send me to any discipline camp. We had lots of talks where they told me what could hurt me if I was not careful.
I opened a restaurant where I could cook and do what I always wanted to do. I even had a garden where I grew the vegetables that I used for cooking. I married the cook that I had employed and we now have a young son. I love my life. I love owning my own business and being my own boss. My husband was the most understanding and caring man in the world and my son was God's gift to us. This being said, I never told my husband about RAD. I didn't want him to think I was a bad apple or my soul was damaged.
We got news one day that Noah's birth mother died. Noah showed no emotion and told everyone that he did not want to talk about it. She did not want him, so he had no wish to mourn her. He considered her dead long ago when he heard she no longer loved him or even wanted her.
The death of Noah's mother affected me more and more. I thought about my birth mom and wondered if she was still alive. The memories of my life with her and the camp came flooding back. My adopted mother said I was on my way to having depression. She knew that it had something to do with camp. She explained that I never talked about it, and yet it was an unfinished part of my life. She explained that true happiness can only happen if there was a closure.
I broke down in tears and told her everything that happened at camp. I told her every punishment and torture he put me through. I told how he was nice and evil. I told her how he regressed me to a baby. I even told what he said about my mother.
“I think I should put a few things straight,” My adopted mother started, “First I was told that your mother was so sick, that she could no longer take care of you. I was told that she was a vegetable and this is why you were being adopted.”
I was in shock
“We wanted to adopt two children,” She continued, “We met the general and told him about our daughter that died. That is when he talked about you. He told us that he had a girl that was basically a teen baby. He told us that the fact that your mom was so sick, you did not want to speak to her or talk to her. Her sickness also made you regress to a baby!”
I told her that the diapers started as a punishment when I wet myself when I was locked in a cage.
“To be honest, your dad knew that the adoption was not that legal. It cost us a lot of money, but it was the shortest and easiest way to adopt. We never knew how bad he treated you or how your mother basically disowned you. I suspected that the camp was not a holiday camp, as it always was a dark side in your mind.”
None of this was my adoptive parent's fault. They were the best parents I could ever have and who knows what would have happened to me if they did not come along. We hugged each other as she told me how much she loved me and wished she knew how bad the camp was, so she could have helped me.
I decided to do something about it. I started writing a book about the camp and everything I experienced. I worked non stop for 4 months in writing the book. I must admit that it helped me a lot letting so many bad memories flow on paper. It was a huge relief when I wrote the last few lines.
When I showed my husband the book, he was in tears while he read the book. He asked if I wanted to make this public. Of course, I did! No girl should ever experience what I have experienced. These discipline camps should not be allowed!
“Hell at Boot Camp” was released and the response was something that I never could have speculated. The book was a best seller and had the government discussing discipline camps and if they should be allowed. I was on one talk show after another talk show talking about what really happened behind the camp walls. This outrage people and I am sure bought many to tears. We were not considered bad apples. We were victims.
I was worried about how Noah would take the book. His only reaction was that he supported me as it was something that I had to do. However, he did not want to talk about it.
The general was now an old man, but he was arrested. He was charged with child abuse and even murder as well as illegal adoptions. I looked at him being paraded into the police station. He did not look like he was ashamed. He held his head high as he said that he helped many bad children become good again, and something society would be proud of.
One day, I got a letter. It was from my birth mother. At first, I just put it in a drawer. However, after some days, I decided that I should read it.
*************
Dear Heidi
I was shocked when I read your book. All these years, I thought you were dead. All these years, I blamed myself for you being dead. Let me say that I am so happy that you found a new family that loved you and treated so well. I hear you are a success and have a good life. I even hear that I have a grandchild.
I should not have sent you to RAD. At the time, I was so worried about you. I was convinced that you were hanging out with the wrong girls and doing things that would get you in trouble. The sweet girl I knew was now a teenager, and she no longer needed me. I was confused every time you would be defiant or answer me back.
I really thought that RAD would help. The general assured me that without the camp, you would end up as a junkie or teen mother. It was so hard when I left you at the camp. I kept on thinking that I was a failure as a mother. I felt like the world's worse mother when I drove away and you told me that you hated me.
I never knew that the general punished you in the ways you wrote in the book. It did not even cross my mind that a so-called gentleman could treat a child that way. I was sure that the camp was under regulations on what was allowed and not allowed. I cannot imagine the pain you went through, and the number of times you hoped I would come and save you. I did the opposite. I left you there!
You finally came home and I was sure things would be better. The general rang to me all the time and said you were not ready. I did not want to send you back as I thought you were trying your best. Yet you were different and I did not know why. I did not know the pain you were in!
When you rang the police to tell them about the camp, I did not believe you. You needed my support most there and my reaction was to send you back to camp. When they were taking you, I was in shock. They put you in handcuffs and I never expected this.
I never knew that I signed over custody. When I rang the general, he told me I had no right to see you and in any case, you hated me.
Then they told me that you escaped. You wrote in your book that the general visited me where I was more interested in my boyfriend's daughter. The general never visited me! The boyfriend soon left me as his daughter reminded me so much about you. I was impossible to be with.
I spent a lot of time looking for you. They never found your body and this always gave me hope. I searched every inch of the woods outside the camp. I never considered you were in a warehouse far away from the camp.
I remember the telephone call. You did not say anything but I recognized your breathing and sniffing. This was the best phone call I ever had, but the saddest one as well. I knew you were alive, but I did not know what happened or where you were.
I blamed myself. Of course, the general used my insecurities and lied to me. I was not a victim like you were. I was part of the problem. Since then. I have lived alone and went to Church every day asking for forgiveness. I often have been in depressions since.
I will finish now. I would love to meet you, but I do not expect anything. My only hope is that one day, you will forgive me
I love you and am proud of you
Your birth mother.
*************
I could not stop crying when I read this. The general really did screw with my mind and make me believe the worse.
Noah also read the letter and he just broke down. We had a long talk about the camp and what we experienced. Noah understood that his mother could have been tricked the same way as my mother. She most likely loved him and died with a broken heart. Noah told me that we had to forgive and get on with our lives. We both had great families and great jobs. Noah told me that he had to visit his mother's grave. I went with him.
I also sent the general a postcard that said that I forgave him but what he did was so wrong and he would have the rest of his life to think about this. I concluded by writing that I was finally free while he was not! I liked having the last word.
Tonight I am making a special dinner. My husband and son will be there as well as my adopted parents. Noah and his family will be there. My birth mother will also be there.
I am free
I am no longer a victim
I am happy.
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